‘Sev, you should really try to make some friends in your own house,’ Lily said gently, when Severus sought her company for the umpteenth time, since the start of their second year in Hogwarts.
She hadn’t really minded hanging out with him in their first year, they were friends after all, but it was becoming more and more obvious that she was his only friend, which was beginning to cause her some concerns.
Severus gave her suggestion some thought. He would have loved to join a band or the drama club, but the latter had been disbanded years ago, and he did not know any of the current house band members well enough to go up and say, ‘Hey, do you guys need a bass guitarist or backing vocalist?’
So the only viable options left to join a group or team in Hogwarts were Quidditch or the Gobstone Club.
His mother had been President of that club, back when she was at Hogwarts and had been captain of the Hogwarts Gobstones team, but Snape had no interest in following in his mother’s footsteps. Which left Quidditch.
He could fly of course, but wasn’t really the athletic sort, but when the notice went up in the Slytherin common room for Quidditch trials, he nevertheless put his name down.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Sweet Salazar, why had he let Lily talk him into this, Severus thought, as the Slytherin captain put the prospective players through their paces. Most of the guys were much bigger than him and clearly had been playing Quidditch regularly, judging by their muscles. He looked longingly at the well defined Quidditch muscles of some of the older players and blushed profusely, when he was caught staring at a handsome blond player.
During the course of the trials, it became apparent that there were some advantages to being slight of build. He was by far the fastest and most agile flier of the lot and when it came to snitch-catching exercises, he did surprisingly well, better in fact than last year’s seeker, who looked at him menacingly. Severus wasn’t entirely sure if merit would be taken into account in the selection process. He already knew, because he had been foolish enough to ask at the start of the trials, that girls weren’t even considered for a position on the Slytherin team, even though the other houses had some excellent female players on their teams. It sounded pretty short-sighted to him to dismiss half of the potential talent pool on the basis of their biological sex, but it was made perfectly clear that such opinions were best left unvoiced, if he wanted to be part of the team.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
‘How did Quidditch trials go,’ Lily asked, when she met him the next day.
‘Pretty well, I thought. I have a good shot at becoming the next Slytherin seeker,’ he answered with a lot more confidence than he actually felt. Hopefully the Slytherin captain would let common sense prevail over cronyism, he thought and kept his fingers crossed behind his back for good luck.
‘That is fantastic, Sev!’ Lily screamed excitedly, genuinely happy for him, ‘James has been selected as the new Gryffindor seeker.’
James bloody Potter, Severus thought. He had noticed that Lily had been casually dropping that name much more often into conversation than he was comfortable with. He could not understand what she saw in that buffoon.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
When the day of the first Quidditch match arrived, Severus was excited to square up against his snobbish Gryffindor rival. He would show that pompous ass what he could do.
Gryffindor-Slytherin matches were always very exciting and extremely competitive. After an hour the score line could not be closer at one hundred points each and it was becoming clear that whoever would catch the snitch would not just end the game, but also win the match. When the golden bird-like ball finally showed itself, Severus swooped down at speed, followed by James. The snitch led them in a merry race around the pitch and Severus could feel James’ hot breath in his neck as the Gryffindor seeker drew closer and closer until they were nearly joined at the hips. Severus stretched out his long arm and placed his hand around the golden ball, just as James placed his hand on his. Surprised at the unexpected touch, Severus nearly let go of his prize, but at the last second firmly gripped the snitch and pulled his hand free from the Gryffindor clutches.
Slytherin had won the match.
Severus gratefully accepted the cheers and gratulations from his fellow team mates and the rest of his house, but the only gratulations he revelled in were Lily’s. She ran up to him after the match and gave him a big hug.
‘Well done, Sev. That was an excellent match!’ she said and then turned to James and said, ‘Hard luck, James, better luck next time,’ stroking his arm, as she said this. James’ face lit up, as if he had won the match instead of having the snitch snatched away from him.
Severus felt the earlier happiness drain away, as he watched the signs of obvious familiarity and affection between the pair. It was as if a Dementor had suddenly inserted itself into the scene.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Severus woke up in a cold sweat. He had been having variations of this If Only dream every night since he learnt of Lily’s death. Unsurprisingly, in every version James Potter got his girl, which led to the inevitable death of the pair at the hands of Lord Voldemort. Even in his dreamworld, he somehow seemed to be undeserving of her love and every morning his heart broke into a million pieces.
Severus wept silently at the harsh reality that his Lily was gone from this world for ever.
If only he could turn back time.