After
Mycroft holmes is many things, a fool he is not. After sherinford, he just knows his time has come, that there will be hell to pay, and there is. Sherlock is happy living with watsons in 221b, mommy and daddy are happy seeing their long lost daughter and euros, well in eurus case he is not sure there was ever a time where she was happy, but surprisingly she is too ok. All the while everyone forgets him, as if he is invisible, a nobody. The councel is not content removing him from all his posts, stripping him from everything he has worked for and throwing him away like used napkins, like a night left out trash. His parents are still angry with him, god knows they weren't this angry at eurus for doing every damn wrong thing in the world, or sherlock for overdosing every other day or.... he is just exhausted. It seems after everything he has done, every bloody thing he has sacrificed for their happiness, he is not important enough for them to care even one whit about him. Not sherlock, not his parents, not the higher ups, not anyone. some times he thinks about ending it, a bout jumping from the roof of saint barts and be done with it, it is not as if he will be missed or he is oh so appreciated now. That is why the momment the position of the laison for britishministery ofmagic empties, he accepts it. He fully knows it is really a minor position like he always said, a most useless one at that too, but beggers can't be choosers now, can they? He accepts the position and moves to a far far office, with no one but himself in the office, if it even could be named office. It is a dark and dingy room, well two rooms exactly, with a strange big fireplace and not any other worthy of mentioning thing. He stays there, eats from a nearby take away and sleeps there too. He does not wear desginer suits anymore, not that it is his choice.he knows he must be depressed, but what use is there to know that?
No one pays him a visit. Sherlock doesn't call him. Mommy doesn't call him. He knows no one at his previous job will contact him now for the fear of falling out of favour.No one messages him anymore. One day he stares at the phone, and smashes it to the wall. It feels surprisingly satisfactory. He then progresses to his umbrella, his glasses, his expenssive wine bottles, his good china cups, his personalised pen and his various medals of honor. After burning the last of his ties and suits, he feels empty. Used. Then he sleeps.
And he sleeps.
And he sleeps.
Until one day without his knowledge, the strange fireplace comes back to life. Two dark clad figures with the most revolting silver mask he has ever seen take hold of his arms, and shove him into fireplace, and before he can say what the hell? One of them draws a stick to his chest saying:stupefy! He thinks he will be dead soon, and wouldn't it be wonderfull to just...not exist? Not feeling pain, not feeling the suffocating lonliness, or crying himself to sleep or staring at the short ceiling right after a nightmare each midnight. Not feeling the coldness of the moment sherlock turned the gun at him, with every notion of shooting him... Then everything goes dark.
Sherlock feels happy. He finally has reunited with john, his visits with his sister goes well, greg and molly finally date, and mrs huddson cooking tastes more delicious every day. He sometimes messages irine. Calls his mother and manages to find billy enough part time job around the morgue which he is too much busy for drugs. Rosie starts to say things. Daddy, aunny(she can't say t, so aunty is out of question) and finally shirly. He doesn't know why she says it, as she is supposed to call him uncle may be? But she calls him that or nothing. He doesn't like that at all.
It reminds him of a time when mycroft was in his life. But after knowing all his problems(well major ones) were his fault, well... the bruce partington plans and meeting moriarty by the pool? Check. The fake suicide and jumping from the roof? Check. Two years running and running and running from anything and all the while juggling moriarty network? Check. Thats not even to mention irine, or mary and norbury and magnussen and....
Nope, he won't go there.
Sherinford is still a sore spot. Which is why it is a relief when mycroft stops coming to visit their sister.it seems as if he stops everything.
He doesn't go to diogenes.
He doen't go to his office.
He even doesn't go to his house.
After two monthes he sends a message: sitting on your fat ass getting fatter? SH.then he waits.
And waits.
And waits.
But mycroft doesn't message him back. So he sends another: gone under the radar? But nothing. So sherlock calls him, after he doesn't answer, he begins to worry. Truely at that. He then calls him again and again.10, 15, 20, after 40 he losts count of it. He then calls lestrade, his parents, and anthea. The last one rejects him immedietly.
He asks a favour of lady smallwood. She just sends one word: no.
He involves his homeless network, but to no awail. It seems mycroft is just gone...as if he was never there. As if he never played stupid board game with him when john wasn't in the picture. That he didn't wipe his tears of pain after each of his overdoses. That he stayed with him whenever he was injured and hurling every insult down his way, calling him fatcroft, calling him cold blooded and arrogant. He goes to his last resort, somewhere only two of them went and smoked, or laughed, or cried. He hasn't gone there for more than a year.
Sherlock knows something is truely wrong, he thinks if mycroft, his infallible, always right mycroft, his polite politician brother who could stop or initiate wars with a word is gone. That he never gets to see his tight lipped smiles he hides behind his cups of tee, never smoke a cigarette behind their mother's back, never...
And his chest feels so tight it could explode and the world loses its color until he can only think about moriarty telling him holmes killing holmes... and that awful gun he pointed at his brother...his only brother who never even raised his voice to him, let alone a hand. The only one he could trust after moriarty fiasco, after mary and norbury, after failing everyone he could be sure there was one person in the world who won't look him in the eye and sees a total failure.his breath hitches. Did he even said thank you? He can think only one time after he had just saved him from russians. Did he apologised for pointing the gun? Breaking into his home and scaring him half to death? No...he didn't. He just passed the responsibility to lestrade and was done with it. Done With him. As if lestrade would be able to do a damn thing about him. He never asked him what their sister did to him in that room in that hours. He only thought of john and his sister...and he easily forgot him. The only one who never left him until he was sure that his baby brother was fine.
Then he feels his eyes dampen, one, two, three tears and thats it. He cries for the world without his brother. But mostly for never being there for him.