Chapter 30
I didn't sleep last night. It was the day of meeting with Ron and I was sick with worry. Theo and Draco stayed up with me in turn, each of them only getting a few hours sleep. Draco was up with me earlier in the night until about 1am while Theo slept, and then they swapped and Theo was awake with me now and it was just after 4am. Neither of them would have slept at all if I hadn't forced them to, both of them wanted to stay up with me. I did try and sleep, but I couldn't, and dreamless sleep was out of the question so I stayed up. I was led on the sofa my head on Theos lap as he was smoothing his hand over my hair.
"You really don't have to stay up with me. Please sleep if you can." Theo looked down to me smiling softly. He looked worried, but was clearly trying to hide it.
"I'm okay. You're lucky we agreed to do shift work sweetheart. Can I ask, what it is that's got you so worried? You said you're sure he won't hurt you, are you doubting that?" I was slightly, I wouldn't say that though. And that wasn't even my biggest concern.
"I have a few concerns, one of them, is his well being." Theo scoffed. "I know, he has no right to have my sympathy, but I'm not giving up on him yet."
"And the other concerns?" I sat up and turned around sitting cross legged facing him. I looked down and Theo placed his fingers gently under my chin talking quietly. "Tell me."
"If he takes me somewhere. What if I can't leave? What if you don't find me?" Theos face dropped, he was clearly just as concerned about that if not more so.
"We would find you. I promise, we would. You know we wouldn't stop looking until we did. Not ever." I did know that. But it wasn't me I was worried about. "You're not worried about you, are you?" He always could read me well. My eyes teared up a little and I placed my hands over my bump.
"Theo what if I can't do enough to protect her?" He cleared his throat and didn't speak for a few moments. When he finally did, his voice was quiet but there was great determination behind it. He believed every word he said.
"If anyone, can protect our daughter Hermione, it's you. You are the most caring, stubborn, and smart person I know, and you wouldn't let anything happen to her. I believe that with every part of myself. Draco does too." I nodded and Theo stood up moving to sit behind me hugging me from behind. "You'll be okay." I sniffed leaning back into the hug. We stayed like that the rest of the night and Draco came down a few hours later. He sat in front of me and looked a tiny bit disappointed.
"You didn't sleep at all?" I shook my head and Theo kissed my neck. "I'm sorry darling." I shrugged.
"It's okay. I had good company all night." Draco laughed and took my hand fiddling with my ring.
"That you did. Did I miss anything while I was sleeping?" Theo and Draco exchanged a look but I didn't want to talk about it again right now.
"I'll tell you later. But last night did give me time, and I actually thought of a name, for the baby. I like it for a first and a middle name. You wanna hear it?" They both nodded Draco had a small smile. "Now you don't have to say yes. But I was thinking Christina." I felt Theo still behind me and Draco grinned. Theos breathe tickled my neck as he whispered.
"I love it. Thank you, Hermione." I nodded and he spoke after a little while. "I think it should be her middle name. Draco can choose the first." Draco shook his head a little panicked.
"No I can't choose it on my own. That's a lot of pressure."
"Okay, seeing as I chose the middle name, you two can work on the first name together. Let me know when you have some ideas." He was satisfied with the solution and led down putting his head in my lap as I played with his hair. I spent the rest of the day texting Avery. I had some planning to do.
"So this is actually a muggle device and it's great so we can hear what's going on. We can't speak to Hermione, that's too risky we can just hear them when they're in range." Harry handed each of the guys an ear piece and gave me a tiny microphone. "You need to hide this under your shirt" I nodded and hooked it onto my bra strap.
"I need to talk to Avery real quick. Can you make sure no one interrupts us? Please?" Harry frowned at me but nodded anyway without asking questions and I went into the office with Avery. I needed to arrange some sort of safety net just in case things didn't go to plan, and Avery was the only one I could tell. Harry, Theo and Draco wouldn't hear it if I tried. He had been working on my requests all day to get things in order.
"Okay, I have your will here, you just need to sign it now. Everything goes to Theo and Draco until your daughter is of age. I have located several magical and muggle orphanages, all of them in London but I'll search them all if that's what I have to do." I figured if Ron did take me and not let me go, I'd obviously have to have the baby at some point. Best case scenario he'd put her into adoption. Worst case, I couldn't think about. I wouldn't want to be alive if that was the case. "I know of very old blood magic that can locate people with the same DNA and I have your blood that you gave me. I'd just need both of theirs as well, but leave that to me. Hopefully it doesn't come to that, but we will get her back if it does. I promise you." I nodded and signed the will.
"And you have the letter?" Avery reached into his jacket and pulled out the envelope. "If I am taken, give that to them if it's been over 24 hours. They'll need it." He nodded and put it back in his jacket. "Thank you, Avery." I pulled him into a hug and he was hesitant at first, but then he hugged me back.
"You're going to be just fine. You're a force to be reckoned with." I nodded and he put the signed will in his pocket and we walked back out to the living room. Harry and Draco both frowned in our direction in question but they didn't say anything. Theo was fidgeting walking back and forth. It was almost time to leave.
"Fuck I don't miss doing this kind of shit" Draco reached his arm out taking Theo's hand in his causing him to still.
"Me either. But this is not the same as then. You can still talk to me if you need to, and our only job, is to protect them." Draco gestured his head toward me.
""Talk to you how? You'll need to be quiet?" I asked confused.
"It's kind of like legilimency. We've learned to communicate with each other without actually speaking." I gasped. This made so much sense.
<p>"I knew it! I thought it was just some crazy thing I had made up in my head but I always knew there was something more to those small glances you gave each other. I am shocked and appalled. And impressed, I won't lie. I wanna know how to do that." Draco laughed and nodded.
"I will teach you myself, after this is over and done with." Oh yeah. I looked down and removed my ring placing it on the table, everyones eyes on me as I did so. It felt so wrong not to be wearing it.
"You know what you're going to say yet?" Theo asked as he watched me gently place it down.
"Yes I think so. I'll feel him out first, but please know I have to say it. I don't mean a word." They both nodded. "I mean it. I don't want any doubt coming from either of you, if I find out there is I swear will..."
"Okay. I promise, no doubt. I know you'll hold us to whatever threat you were about to make and I don't want to know what it is." I nodded satisfied with his answer. This was going to be hard. It's taken so long for them to finally be confident in my love for them. I had to be harsh to make Ron believe me. But it's all of their biggest insecurities that I will be bringing up, and I'll be agreeing with their worst thoughts about themselves. Harry stepped forward after giving us a moment.
"Alright. Let's get this over with. Hermione, try your best to stay in sight. We'll all be in Grimmauld watching you. Remember all you have to do is keep him talking and make him comfortable, then we'll come out, and hopefully this will be finished. See you there." I nodded and they all left, the loud cracks going through me.
I stood for a little longer and waited a few minutes deeply breathing. I got into a head space I hadn't been in for a while. Concentrate, be aware of your surroundings, don't die. I closed my eyes and apparated to the park feeling a little sick as I landed but breathed through it. It was void of any other people. I looked subtly toward Grimmauld to be sure I was in sight and leaned back against the railing my face sad. I didn't know if he was watching me before coming so I had to look the part. I waited a few more minutes and a skinny man wearing all black entered the park. His hood was up, and as he approached, he was fidgety, looking around, paranoid. He got closer to me and I saw that his eyes were hollow, hardly anything behind them. He brought his hood down and looked me up and down. His eyes lingered on my bump for a few seconds his face a mixture of anger and hurt. When he spoke, he didn't even sound like himself. The kind and caring Ron I knew, was definitely not stood in front of me right now.
"Why did you ask me here?"
"I wanted to see you. I hadn't heard from you since we last spoke and I was worried about you." His face softened slightly but it went as quick as it came back to angry. He was still fidgeting about as he stood, not able to be still.
"Where are your death eaters?" His voice was laced with hatred.
"They're back at the flat. They don't know I'm here, I sneaked out to meet you." Ron looked behind him then back to me. He really needed help. He sneered.
"Why all the sneaking? You were so happy when I last saw you."
"I tried to leave them, but they wouldn't let me. I had to send you the patronus when I was locked in a bathroom." Technically not a lie. Ron scoffed and I cried a little now, trying to be convincing. "I was happy, at the start, but then they changed. They're so angry all the time, and they take it out on me. I don't think I have meant anything to them this whole time." He brought his arms out to the side.
"Hermione you chose them over me. I warned you this would happen and you didn't listen to me!" He was getting more angry recounting the memory. I was feeling nervous at his outburst but didn't let it show.
"I know. I'm so sorry Ron. I should have seen that they could never make me happy." His face softened slightly again and he shook his head.
"So why not just leave? You have your wand."
"They took it away from me. I managed to get it again before I left, but I was so defenseless without it and they knew that." I looked around frantically adding to the dramatics. "If they found out I was here I don't know what they'll do." Queue more tears. When were they coming out? I couldn't do this for much longer.
"What about that?" He spat pointing at my stomach, so disgusted at the thought of it. I paused and looked down at my bump and took a deep breathe. I had to say the safest thing for her, just in case.
"l'll give it up when I give birth. I don't want anything to do with them. Nothing" I cried even more, but the tears were genuine. I felt awful for saying that. Ron looked around again and stood watching me cry for a few seconds. He sighed and brought me in hugging me. I tensed initially but relaxed, hoping this would be the time they'd come out as he was distracted. I heard multiple cracks around us and they all had their wands pointed toward him. Ron pulled me roughly so I was straight in front of him blocking any attempt of attack, using me as a shield. He apparated us away, and I let him do it.
DRACO POV
We apparated just down the path from Grimmauld all walking quickly to it, me and Theo looking behind our shoulder every five steps we took like we always used to. Getting back into this mindset felt so wrong. We got to the house and entered running upstairs to the second floor windows. The lights were off and we were away from the windows as much as possible to avoid being seen. I heard a crack and saw it was Hermione seeing her leaning in perfect view against the railing. Minutes passed and we hadn't seen or heard anyone else yet, we could just hear each others small breathes. A tall skinny man with a black coat on, the hood up came into view and walked into the park straight toward her. That must be him. Me and Theo continued to communicate with each other as we listened to the conversation, not speaking aloud.
Maybe she's a better actress than we thought. The tears are a nice touch.
Yeah, she's doing well. Same old Weasley. Death Eater? You'd think he'd be more original by now.
Better quit raising his voice at her though.
Calm down. We can't move yet.
I'm good. Hang on he asked about the baby.
We listened intensely for her answer. I had no idea what she was planning if he brought it up. "I'll give it up. I don't want anything to do with them. Nothing."
Those tears are real. That was hard for her to say.
Yeah. She might have convinced him though.
All I wanted to do was get in there and hug her. She didn't deserve to go through this shit. I saw Weasley pull her in for a hug and looked to Potter who nodded signalling for us all to go now. We all apparated surrounding him pointing our wands. He instantly pulled Hermione in front of him as to protect himself. No one could cast anything with her in front of him, coward was using her as a shield. I looked him straight in the eyes and saw nothing.
"Ron don't!" Potter shouted. He smiled wickedly and they disappeared from our sight. It felt like everything from this point happened in slow motion.
"Where the fuck did they go? Where has he taken her?!" Theo was stood in front of Potter shouting at him. He knows she was lying now. She's not safe anymore. Theo continued shouting reflecting my same thoughts. "Potter he knows! He knows she was lying! What's he going to do?!" Theo was pacing again.
"I don't know! I don't know. Go back to the flat I'll meet you there in about five minutes. Avery with me" I grabbed Theos arm and apparated us back to the flat.
"Draco what does this mean?" I really didn't know. I couldn't think straight. "He knows she was lying. He's going to hurt her. You saw he was manic, mood all over the fucking place, couldn't stand still. And to use her as a human shield? Why didn't Potter see this coming? I fucking knew this would happen! Why did we let her..."
"Theo stop. I don't know where she is but we will find her. In the meantime she's smart, and she has her wand." I barely believed what I was saying. I knew she was all of those things, but he would overpower her easily. Especially if he didn't care much anymore about her safety or well being. Plus she hadn't slept all night. She was weaker than him, especially now.
"She does for now! He was clearly not well. He might hurt her. Hurt our daughter. You have no idea what the fuck he had planned for when he finally got her back, and that was before she lied to him."
"He'd be fucked if he tried anything and he knows it." I was trying to convince him as well as myself. He was trained, to disarm people.
"What if he takes it from her? She could fall asleep, he could drug her, we just don't know!"I couldn't really answer that. I couldn't say words anymore, even if it was to make him or myself feel better. She was gone, he was mad. Potter apparated back in and looked just as frantic as us.
"I checked Shell Cottage she's not there. We need to collectively think, hard." Theo was struggling to function let alone think. All he was thinking about, was her being hurt. Same as me."She has her wand for now, but that doesn't mean he won't take it from her. If he does, I don't know what..." Potter trailed off and I closed my eyes as Theo squat down putting his head in his hands. "I don't think he'll hurt her. But I have no idea about.." I was getting irritated with his tiptoeing.
"Just say it Potter. You don't know what he will do to our daughter." I was fighting back tears at the thought. "Why didn't we fucking see this?!" I was so mad at myself. Mad at Theo. Mad at Potter. We should have all known better. We should have all done more.
"I'm sorry I don't know." Potter was crying now as well. Avery apparated taking in the scene before him. He looked just as devastated, but he was angry as he spoke, deadly serious.
"It's probably not my place to say, but if we want to find her, all due respects, you have got to get your shit together. Do what you gotta do." He stared at me as if communicating the obvious. I knew what he was asking of us. I took a deep breathe in closing my eyes, and occluded away every single worry, concern, and bad thought that was swimming through my head. He nodded to me and I looked down to Theo who was practically breaking in front of me. I didn't want him to do it too, but we had no other choice right now. I crouched down in front of him.
"Theo, look at me." He looked up and shook his head realising what I had done his face conflicted. "If we want to find her, we have to. There is no other option right now." He ran his hand through his hair again and stood up. He took a deep breathe in and shut his eyes like I had moments before. A few seconds later his entire demeanor changed.
"Let's go from the beginning. The first visit with Narcissa. Potter I want prints of every delivery guy, every memory, everything you know about Weasley and get all the photos and notes that were sent to us and lay them all out. He's not clever enough to have done anything too elaborate." Potter took a steadying breathe and apparated straight away to fulfill Theos request. Avery took his jacket off and waked to the kitchen making some coffee.
"Avery you don't have to.." He half turned back and spoke again, voice full of determination.
"I'm staying. We're finding her."
HERMIONE POV
We landed and I went slightly dizzy again but managed to steady myself quickly, knowing I needed to get my wits about me. I couldn't handle much more apparition though. I looked around recognising where we were instantly. I was at my old flat. I had my hand tightly gripped around my wand watching Ron carefully as he paced back and forth muttering to himself. He knew I was lying now. He stopped moving and snapped his eyes to mine and laughed, it was manic.
"I must say you are very good. I should have known you were lying to me. You still think I'm fucking stupid. You still think you're better than me! Well, you aren't."
"What's the long term plan here Ron? Keep me in here forever?" Ron grinned and shook his head.
"Not forever. Just as soon as that thing is taken care of. I'm doing this to help you." I scoffed and shook my head. "I am doing this to help you! You don't know what you want. But we do. We know what you need. We know what all of you need." We? Narcissa?
"Who is 'we' Ron?" He laughed again throwing his head back. What the fuck had happened to him? Narcissa had been dropping poison in his ear for months.
"Don't play dumb. I've been following you all for months. I've been warning you to end this, for months." He grinned again. "Oh but you already knew that, didn't you?" I was taken back to the time he forced his way into the house. I knew that creepy smile.
"How could you?" I was whispering trying to keep the tears back, my hand still gripping my wand. He was a little taken aback at my question. He didn't believe I had the audacity to ask.
"How could I? How could you?! You were the one that moved on so easily! You were the one that left me! I gave you multiple chances to end it but you didn't listen. You have no one but yourself to blame."
"You think that was easy for me?! You have no idea! I managed to move on yes but you have just dragged me right back again. You've clearly lost your fucking mind!" Probably not the best thing to say.
"You were the one that spoke all that shit to forgive, and heal, and be a new person. Well this is me doing just what you asked. This is the new Ron. You asked for this."
"I didn't ask for any of this. We can get you help Ron. Just go to Harry and he will help you!" He scoffed and shook his head. "Then what? Are you going to kill me? Hold me hostage in here forever? What about when I give birth, what happens then?" He went back to pacing. My voice went quiet again, I didn't like that he seemed to have a plan for her. "Ron, what are you going to do?" He took his wand out and pointed it to me and I instantly did the same. "Don't make me fight you."
"You're so sure you'll win? I'm an auror now Hermione. This, is my job. I know of spells that not even you have heard of. You can't win this one. I duel for a living, against dark wizards. The kind of wizards, that you decided would be a good idea to be with. The kind of wizards you decided, to have a fucking baby with. It disgusts me." I began to cry, realising I was fighting a battle that I had already lost.
"Your job is to protect innocent people. Not harm them."
"Right again. But you aren't as innocent as you claim to be." He threw a few curses which I blocked, but I was tired, I was dizzy, and I was weak. Weak against him. I felt a warmth around my stomach just before he took my wand, and threw me into the bathroom locking the door behind him as he left. I curled up in the far back corner, and cried.
DRACO POV
More hours passed and it seemed that we were still no where near figuring out where she was. We had gone over everything we knew, every piece of information we could gather. I was beginning to think we were never going to get her back. That where he was had nothing to do with the threats, the photos, the deliveries. It was just a waste of time. Avery looked at his watch and swore. He walked over to his jacket pulling out and envelope and handed it to me. It had mine and Theos names written on it. I knew that handwriting. My voice was hoarse when I spoke, I hadn't said anything for hours, hadn't slept for hours, and I really, didn't want to know what she had wrote.
"What's this?"
"Hermione instructed me to give it to you if she had been gone for twenty four hours or longer." Theo moved to stand by my side and looked down at it then back to Avery. "I don't know what it says." He walked away to the kitchen and we looked at each other.
"Theo I don't.."
"Me either." We stared down at it for a while longer.
"She wants us to read it though. We have to." Theo nodded and I opened it, pulling out the letter inside.
My dearest Theo and Draco,
If you are reading this, I have been gone for twenty four hours or longer, and you are probably worried sick. I think I am also right in saying, that you would have both occluded by now to cope with this. Please don't let it take over your lives. I want you to both be happy with each other, so don't let yourselves slip. Feel the emotions, support each other through them, and if you can't do it for yourselves or each other, please do it for me.
I have given Avery further instruction and if you do not find me, he knows what to do. I'm sorry I never discussed this with you before, but I knew what I would get if I had tried. Please know, if I have any power, or fight left within me, I will protect our daughter at every cost. Even if that cost is my life. If I can do that, know I will die happy. She's the most important thing to me. If I can do that, if I can save her, she will be reunited with you one day, even if I am not.
Don't ever doubt yourselves, because I believe that you can figure this out. Everyone always used to say how smart I was, how I was the brains at every point. But the thing is, usually the answer is right in front of you. Don't overthink it. It will be simple, I promise. Ron is too emotionally driven, to be meticulous. He is too hysterical, to be planned.
I love you both so much, more than I can put on paper. But you know that. You can do this. I'm sure Harry is there too, tell him I believe in him as well. In all of you.
Yours forever,
Hermione x
I could feel my heart breaking into pieces in my chest, even with occluding. I never knew what heartbreak felt like until now. It felt as though a part of myself, was dying. As though half of my reason for living, was fading away, and I could't stop it. Theo stepped back shaking his head, his voice cracking as he spoke.
"No. No, I refuse to have that be the last thing I hear from her. She can't just... How could she..."
I handed the letter to Potter who read it and looked back up at us both then back down. He actually seemed more determined, after reading it.
"She's right. She's fucking right!" He put the letter back down and looked over the table again. "I don't know why are we struggling so badly. What the fuck are we missing here? It's going to be obvious. Simple. Emotional." He whispered the last part. What?
"Emotional?" I didn't get what he meant.
"He's always been more emotionally driven, than logical. I know you are both the opposite, but we need to think more like him. More like that." I moved back to the table and was staring at the photos trying to see what we were missing. That may mean the occluding, would have to end.