Chapter 26
I threw the dress to the floor letting out a frustrated sigh. Nothing fit me anymore. I only had a tiny bump but all of my stuff, especially my work clothes were tighter fitting so the zipper wouldn't do up all the way.
"What's wrong sweetheart?" Theo shouted from the bedroom.
"Nothing fits me Theo. Literally nothing. It's so annoying I have the tiniest bump and none of my clothes fit me!" I flicked through the clothes trying to find something suitable to wear for all the stupid meetings I had today. Theo came into the closet and leaned against the doorway staring at me while I had my mini breakdown.
"Put it back on a minute."
"Theo it doesn't fit I need to find something or I'm going to be late." I was snappy. My mood was very up and down recently. I didn't mean to take it out on them but I couldn't help it. Theo's mouth upturned ever so slightly.
"Just trust me." I stared at him a little longer before putting the dress back on and doing the zip up as far as I could before it wouldn't go any further. I put my hands on my hips and stared at him silently saying I told you so. He walked and stood behind me taking out his wand before making an alteration then zipped up the dress and kissed me on the head. Of course I could alter it. Duh.
"Baby brain is a real thing it would seem. I actually forgot I was a witch." I put my head in my hands and Theo hugged his arms around me puling me back against his chest. "Sorry, for being snappy." I said with a guilty look on my face.
"It's fine. I can only imagine what it must be like for you so if all I have to do is deal with you being a little snappy at times, then I can do that. Even more so if I can help you in any way." He kissed me on the head again and I put on my shoes. "Is wearing heels safe?" He asked looking down at my shoe choice then back to me. I scoffed and grabbed a jacket chucking it on making my way downstairs.
"Yeah it's fine. I'll stop when I get bigger but until then I am going to get as much use of these as possible. I'm gonna miss it when I can't wear them for a while." Theo followed me down and stopped at the door opening it for me.
"I'll see you later." He leaned down and kissed me and I looked past him at the closed office door with a worried look. Draco was arranging the meeting with his Mother today. He had been in there all of last night and all morning, not coming out. Theo went in late last night trying to convince him to come to bed and get some sleep but he wouldn't. He just wanted to be left alone and we didn't want to push him. "He'll be alright. I'll call you, if anything happens okay?" I nodded and kissed him once more before leaving.
I walked into the hotel and made my way to the bar. A lot of meetings happened in fancy hotels, clubs and restaurants, and regardless of the time, most people drank at them. I never did, not that I could anyway but still, it always baffled me people want to drink at 10am on a Wednesday morning whilst technically working.
"Hermione?" I turned around to see George Manning stood behind me grinning.
"Oh George how nice to see you!" I stood up and gave him a hug. He looked down at my little bump and his eyebrows raised in question. "I know, I know. Not quite in the plans but what can you do." I shrugged and he shook his head laughing.
"Well it's brilliant news dear congratulations. I trust the boys are doing well? I must say you three have really impressed me. It was the right decision me signing with you all, really. You have certainly done me proud."
"They're doing very well, and thank you very much George that means a lot. How is Alessandra?" I didn't care in the slightest but I wanted to be polite.
"Oh she's just fine thank you for asking. She has unfortunately decided though that this sort of career path doesn't suit her and has moved on. Anyway it's been great to see you but I must be off. Give my best to the lads, I'm sure I'll see you soon anyway. Congrats again." I nodded and gave him another hug before he left the hotel. I was a little too smug with the news of Alessandra leaving this line of work. I hope that it had everything to do with me. I only had two meetings and was finished by 3pm. I hadn't had any calls from Theo so I guess that was good news. I pushed the front door open and instantly kicked off my heels basking in the relief. That was one of the best feelings in the world after taking off your bra at the end of the day.
"Hey babe how was your day?" Theo asked poking his head round from the kitchen. I looked to the office door that was still shut. I hoped he had come out at least once today. I walked round and jumped to sit on the kitchen island.
"It was good, I actually bumped into George this morning. He says hi." Theo turned to me my face smug.
"You look like you have more to say?" I smiled and shrugged.
"He may have mentioned Alessandra couldn't handle this career path and is no longer working with him. Karmas a bitch babe." Theo scoffed shaking his head. I looked back to the office then to Theo lowering my voice a bit. "Has he come out at all today?" Theo sighed and moved to stand in between my legs his hands on my thighs.
"Just once to go to the bathroom. I took him in some food earlier but I don't know if he ate it. He needs time sweetheart. She's really fucked with his head." I nodded and looked back to the door. "He did tell me though that the 'visit' will be this Saturday. He'll have got it together by then because he'll want to be able to look after us. So worst case scenario it lasts until Friday." He was coming out today whether he liked it or not. "Whatever you're thinking, go ahead, but don't push him any further than he can handle." He knew me too well. I nodded and hopped down off of the island and went into the office Theo staying in the kitchen. I'll be kind and patient... as much as I could be. I knocked twice before opening the door and poking my head in. He was sat behind the desk and looked tired holding a glass of whiskey atop the desk and staring straight down at it.
"Hey." I said quietly walking in and sitting opposite him. Draco moved his head meeting his eyes with mine smiling sadly. "I've missed you." He looked back down though still keeping his smile.
"Hey. I know I'm sorry." His voice broke slightly. "I just needed time." Maybe I could cheer him up a little.
"Wanna hear some gossip I found out from George Manning today? Who says hi by the way." Draco perked up slightly and nodded.
"Apparently Alessandra is no longer working with him, or anyone in this field it would seem. Said she had chosen a different career path." Draco huffed a small laugh and shook his head.
"And you seem so sad about that darling." I shrugged and smiled innocently.
"I'm not disappointed that's for sure." I really had missed him. "Gonna come out and sit with us for a bit? You can't live in here forever. Plus you need to eat." I gestured to the plate of unfinished food and he shook his head.
"Maybe later." I sighed and sat back in the chair making him look back up to me slightly guilty. "Don't be mad." I didn't mean to be.
"I'm sorry I've been like it all day it's not you. I mean it is a little bit you but I'm not mad, just worried. So is Theo."
"You don't need to worry. I will be.."
"Fine yeah I know." I sighed again and he turned his head to the side. "Okay fine. I will leave you for a few more hours but I will be back in here when dinner is ready and you will be eating whether you like it or not. You will also be sleeping upstairs tonight. You have been warned." He let out a small laugh again and nodded. I stood up and walked round kissing his cheek then made my way back out to Theo who was sat on the sofa with a drink. I wish I could have a drink. I sat next to him and placed my head on his shoulder taking in his smell. He had clearly gone out for a cigarette and it smelled of Theo. It was comforting.
"Guess you had no luck convincing him to come out either?" I shook my head and he wrapped his arm comfortingly around my shoulders.
"He didn't eat what you gave him. But I did forewarn him that he will be eating tonight whether he likes it or not, and sleeping upstairs." Theo chuckled making my head bop up and down and sipped on his drink.
"I'm excited to see how you manage that."
To mine and Theos shock he actually came out and ate dinner with us meaning I didn't have to drag him out. He didn't talk much but that was fine. Me and Theo managed to speak the entire meal purely debating who the worst client was we had to deal with one upping each other with our worst stories. Draco laughed at points which was nice to see too. He also came up to bed with us but ended up having another night terror which was to be expected. He was stressed and anticipating going back this weekend though I think I might invest in some dreamless sleep for us all Saturday night. I think it's going to be needed. Come Friday morning he was feeling better, talking more and working just like Theo had predicted. There was a knock at the door and Theo went and came back with a small package addressed to me.
"Who gave you that?" I asked as he handed it to me. It was a rectangular box in shape quite thin. It was light to hold and wrapped in brown paper. The tag just said 'For Hermione'.
"Just a delivery guy. They didn't say who it was from." I looked at it a little longer and looked to Draco who shrugged.
"Should I open it? I dunno why I'm so suspicious but it's weird, right? Or am I just being paranoid?" They looked at me and down at the box.
"It is weird that it just has your name and doesn't say who it's from. But then only a handful of people know you live here so it can't be from many people right?" Theo said asking Draco. He was still just as confused as us. I looked back down at it and just decided to open it. I ripped it open and took the lid off the brown box and there were a couple of photos inside. I picked them out and one was of my childhood home, my parents old home, the photo taken late at night. Another was of 3 men walking into it, all of them wearing all black but I couldn't see their faces. One was turned and was wearing a death eater mask. There was also a note that read 'Do you really know them?' I frowned at the photos and note before passing them to Theo. He looked down frowning and cleared his throat passing them to Draco who closed his eyes and put them on the counter top swearing as he did so. What was going on?
"I don't understand. Is whoever sent this talking about you two?" Theo put his head in his hands leaning his elbows on the counter top and sighed. "Okay you're both really worrying me what the hell are these? Do you know?"
"They are probably a little gift from my Mother. Yes we know what they are." He was mad but not at me. I felt sick. Draco rested his hands on the counter leaning onto it. “I can tell you, but before I do I just want you to know that we went there to protect them. I’ll even take veritaserum if I need to prove that to you.” I frowned at Draco still confused not saying anything. Theo shifted clearly uncomfortable with what Draco was about to explain. “Voldemort, used to make us do these house raids, on muggles. You know like when the bridge fell, or when they terrorised people in London, he used to target muggle homes too. It was usually on a volunteer basis. To show your loyalty to his cause. One of the Carrow twins found out where your parents lived, probably just weeks before you had altered their memories. He asked for volunteers to go, me and Theo opted.” I still couldn't really speak hanging on every word he said. My parents would have been a prize in Voldemorts mind. The perfect people to capture.
“Both the Carrows, and Fenrir Greyback also volunteered. The Carrows liked to 'document' their raids, hence the photos.” Draco picked up one of the photos pointed at the masked man. "That's Theo, and that's me." I looked up and let out a shaky breathe. Theo was watching my every move, like he was counting each breathe I took. “If they were still there, me and Theo planned to get them out, if we could. But when we got there, and saw that the house had been abandoned, we just assumed you had hidden them somewhere yourself with the order.” I didn't know how to feel though I did believe they went to protect them. I was hurt they hadn't told me sooner yet also somewhat, relieved? That my altering my parents memories was definitely the right thing to do. That it wasn't for nothing. I was so conflicted. I cleared my throat and began fiddling with the sleeves of my jumper nervously.
“So, was that the only one you volunteered to go on?” My voice was quiet.
"Yes." Draco confirmed. Theo still hadn't spoke.
“And, during these, would muggles be captured? Or killed in their homes?” I don’t know why I asked. I think I already knew. Theo shifted and finally spoke.
“Depends on who went. But mostly they were killed in their homes. Not many made it back to the manor. Only a handful did come back, and it was usually Greyback that brought them.”
“What happened to the few that did?” Again, no idea why I asked. But I felt like I needed to know. Theo shook his head.
“Nothing I care to repeat. We didn’t go down there often. But if me Draco or Blaise did have to go down, it was only ever to ‘keep an eye on them' while everyone else was out.”
“What did you do while you were down there?” They both looked at each other then back to me not answering, but their faces said it all. Killed them to put them out of their suffering.
“How many?” I had to know the answer. Draco occluded immediately and I looked to him my heart breaking. I was trying my best not to cry, but my tears were threatening to spill over.
“If you want the answer, I can’t tell you without it.” I nodded and braced myself.
“Three. All of which were so close to death, that I'm not ashamed to say I wish I had gotten to them sooner.” I looked to Theo for him to answer and his eyes were tearing up. He went to speak but stopped unable to answer. He turned to Draco who nodded his head to answer for him. “Two. One was unconscious, one asked.” I blinked and the tears fell. I felt awful for them. Awful for the victims. I wasn't naive enough to believe this sort of thing hadn't happened, but to have it confirmed was hard to hear. No one had spoken for a while, Theo and Draco hadn't taken their eyes off of me. Theo finally broke the silence.
“I’m sorry, we never told you sooner. Even we haven’t spoken about it with each other, since it happened. And I know, that's no excuse not to tell you, but how, were we supposed to tell you that?” I really did understand. I just didn't know what to do or say. “Do you think differently of us?” I didn’t. I shook my head and wiped my face my voice barely a whisper.
“No. You were put, in an impossible position. And I’m sorry that you were.” Draco shook his head in disbelief.
“How? How are you apologising, still? After hearing what we had done anyone else would run and never come back.” I sighed and finally looked up to him after staring at the counter top for who knows how long.
“It’s just not that black and white Draco. Your Mother sent these photos in the hopes it would make me do exactly that. I am hurt that you didn't tell me sooner, but I also understand why you didn't. Also, don't forget we were all put in impossible positions. I didn’t kill anyone, but I would of, if I had to. I was in many situations where it crossed my mind. It wasn’t out of the question for anyone who fought that war. You also did it to stop people from suffering any longer. And like I said, that is an impossible position to be in, especially for children. Which we were. Which you were."
"And your parents?" Draco asked gesturing to the photo.
"Call me crazy, but I'm actually happy to hear that it was worth it. I have always wondered, what if I did it for nothing. This has only confirmed that I saved them. And I believe you, by the way. That you went to protect them." Theo looked instantly relieved at the last part. Draco was still looking at me in amazement. "When we see your Mother on Saturday, we'll give these back to her. I won't have her thinking she has any power over whether or not I stay in this relationship because of your past. Fuck her." I stood up and walked to the staircase. “I’m going to go and have a bath and just, process, all of this. But I love you. Both of you.” I looked to Draco before going up. "And stop occluding. You need to process this too."
DRACO POV
We watched her walk upstairs and disappear behind the door. I don't know how she was so forgiving. How one person can have such a big heart and be so understanding and not be so quick to judge. She would never fail to amaze me. I looked down at the photos in disgust and put them in a drawer to stop looking at them any further. If there was anything else my Mother would want to reveal, I'd be sure to tell her before she had to find out like this. Not that anything sprung to mind. That was my deepest most shameful secret I had. Probably Theo too.
”I’m sorry, I couldn’t answer her. I just froze.” He looked so disappointed with himself. I walked round to him and took his hands in mine. "I can't believe she did this."
“I can. I was just thinking we need to tell her anything else she may not know. We can't have any more surprises like this again. And don't worry, about not being able to answer. I'd have rather answered for you, than you occlude.” We both made our way to the sofa sitting down.
“Speaking of which, you’re still doing.” I didn’t want to stop. I wasn't ready.
“I really, don’t want to face these emotions Theo. I don’t think I can do it.” Theo squeezed my hand and nodded.
“You know, that I know how it feels. And you were with me, when I had to do it. But you have to, Draco. If she can still continue to love us, and not fear us after what we just told her, you owe it to her to do it. She deserves at least that.” She did. But I was so scared. I shook my head and Theo mounted my lap putting his legs either side of me placing a hand behind my head resting his forehead on mine whispering. “I’m here Draco. You have to let go.” He was staring into my eyes willing the walls to drop.
“I can’t Theo. I’m scared.” I'm surprised he even heard me my voice was so quiet.
“I’ve got you.” He whispered. I closed my eyes and took a few deep breathes. I stopped occluding and it felt as if a tidal wave was making its way through my brain, the waves catastrophic in their destruction. Theo moved his other arm around my back and pushed my head to his shoulder holding me tight as I screamed into it. Screamed and cried for the innocent people that died, and for the child that was forced to grow up to fast.
HERMIONE POV
I ran myself a bath once I got upstairs though not as hot as I usually enjoy them. That was a thing of the past, while I was pregnant anyway. I filled it with my favourite bubble bath the smell relaxing me slightly and climbed in. I rested back and shut my eyes smoothing my hand lightly over my bump.
“It’s been an emotional day hasn’t it? It’s times like these when I wished I had a book of memories to look through. I’m going to make one for you. I’ll give it to you when you’re older. Maybe a time when you’re not having a good day, if you’re stressed, if you argue with either of them. I’ll give you the book and show you the day I told them I was pregnant with you and everything after. They love you so much. Even more than life itself, and so do I. You are going to be so loved and protected.” I sighed and smiled at the thought of when that day came. I was excited for that time to come, but also nervous as to what was going to happen in between then. What if we get more parcels? More secrets or deep past mistakes are revealed? I can't see them ever having done something that would make me want to run. I knew there was always a possibility, that they had killed people. It's a hard thing to comprehend, but no one would ever know what they'd do in that position until they were in it. It's so easy, to judge people and think I wouldn't have done that. But you would never know until you were forced to. I hope he was able to forgive himself one day.
With that thought I heard a blood curdling shout from downstairs, full of despair and pain making me jump slightly. It went straight through me and I wanted nothing more than to go down and support him with Theo, but I knew he wouldn’t want me to. He needed to do this. I took another deep breathe and shut my eyes a tear running down to my ear. I heard a few more screams before it turned to continuous sobs. I got out the bath and put on one of Theo’s jumpers, and shoved on a pair of leggings sitting on the bed with a book. I was probably reading for a few hours before Theo came in, his eyes a little red from crying but he still managed a smile.
“How is he?” Theo shut the door gently and walked over jointing me on the bed. He settled back with me and ran his hand back and forth over my bump.
“He’ll be up in a minute. But he's okay now.”
“And how are you?”
“I’m fine. It was hard, seeing him like that but it needed to happen. Especially before tomorrow. Can I just say as well, how lucky we are to have you. And I'm sorry, you had to find out that way. We have wanted to tell you, but never knew how.” I brought my hand up to his hair and smoothed my hand through it.
"It's okay. I really do understand why you didn't. " He nodded and Draco came through the door looking exhausted. His eyes settled on my stomach and Theo’s hand moving over it and he smiled softly. His voice was hoarse.
“If I had a book for you, this image would be in there. I could watch this forever.”
“We were just talking about that funnily enough.”
“We were?” Theo asked looking confused. I laughed and pointed to my bump.
“I’ll tell you how to do it. I’m making one for when the baby's older so you’ll need to know how at some point to add to it.” He came in further and I stood up walking over to him and just wrapped my arms around his waist. He looked like he needed a hug.
“You smell like Theo and lavender.” I laughed and he hugged me tighter.
“That’s because she’s wearing my clothes. Again” Theo complained.
“I like how you smell. And they're comfy.” I said back still hugging into Draco. I heard his laugh rumbling in his chest. He kissed me on the head and continued to hug me.
“I do too. Even if the smell is your cigarettes.” I turned and put my back against Dracos chest as he brought his arms around in front of me holding my hands resting his chin on my head. I raised my eyebrow at him and I was pretty sure Draco was doing the same. "You have a child on the way. I know we have had this discussion a million times before but don't you think it's time to at least try?" Draco asked. Theo looked between us both a few times and sighed dramatically.
“Fine, I will try and quit.” He flopped down onto the bed and ran his hand through his hair. “I’m going to have to find something to keep my mind off it. Maybe I’ll go to the gym more. And Draco you’re going to have to take all the clients who smoke from now on, I can’t handle the temptation until I’ve actually quit. Oh and I will absolutely not be quitting, until after tomorrow is over.” We were all dreading it.
"In that case wear a different tshirt with each one you smoke so I can get the smell as much as possible before you stop." Theo turned on his side and rested his head in his hand.
"You are just as addicted as me. You need help." He winked and I rolled my eyes and walked over to the bed and read some more to take my mind off of tomorrow while Theo continued to keep his hand on my stomach as Draco rested. I have no idea what to expect.