All the Debts I Owe
Hermione didn't have any intentions of returning to Hogwarts; after the final battle last May, Harry, Ron, and she returned to the burrow, in an attempt to start the daunting task of healing from the past seven years of trauma.
While the term “Golden Girl” was never a name that she appreciated, she hated it even more now that the war was over. Everyone expected her to be ok, to lead and help others as she always had, be the beacon of growth and change in the wizarding world. Everyone seemed to forget that she was only 18, carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders, without anyone to help hold her up.
Harry and Ron, were seemingly perfect, happy to begin their lives as adult wizards, harry feeling safe in a family for the first time in his life, and Ron was happy to accept all the praise from the press for all his efforts during the war. Charlie asked him in august if he wanted to join him in Romania to work with the dragons; it had everything he wanted; his brother, flying, and of course, dragons. He had wanted to work with them since seeing harry fight the Hungarian Horntail in the Triwizard tournament 3 years prior. Ron Left England almost immediately.
Harry was working with the ministry, helping to round up the rest of the death eaters that disappeared after Voldermort’s death. Kingsley, the newly appointed minister of magic, insisted that he start his work for the ministry right after the final battle. Harry thrived in that environment; all he had known in his life was fighting for it; he couldn't stop now.
This left Hermione, trying to find some semblance of normalcy. Her parents were in Australia with no memory of their life in England or Hermione. She had been staying at the burrow with ginny, and Mr. and Mrs. Weasly for the summer, but they didn't understand what she was going through either. They tried the best that they could support her, they had lost Fred after all, but no one, not even Ron and Harry, could understand what she was going through right now.
Ginny knocked on the door of her room in the rickety shack before the first light on July 15, holding mail that Errol had just delivered. They had shared a room since the final battle; when they had tried to have separate rooms, they both ended up together in the morning from nightmares and figured this would be easier. She knew Hermione would be awake; she never slept at night, neither of them did. They spent all night in silence; Hermione spent most of the time reading and ginny, drinking, and looking at old photos of the friends that she had lost and crying.
Hermione felt a soft stack of envelopes hit her feet as ginny tossed them on her bed, before sitting on the side of her bunk. On top was a postcard from Ronald, he sent one most weeks, updating her and harry on his adventures in Romania. She had pinned each letter up behind her bed, and pinned this one next to the last, a picture of a Norwegian Ridgeback. Turning back to her bed, a flash of green ink on pressed parchment caught her eye.
“Ginny, what the hell is this?” Hermione sheepishly asked while gingerly grabbing the letter to show her friend. They both stared at the letter, not saying a word, knowing exactly what was inside this letter, the same one they had received every summer for the past seven years.
“Why do I have this? Do you have one? This must be a mistake.” Hermione stumbled on her words, flabbergasted by the piece of parchment in her hand. “You have to read it. I can’t do it.” she threw the letter to Ginny’s bed and started to pace around the small room.
“It's from McGonagall; she is inviting students from your year back to Hogwarts to finish their classes, and sit for their NEWTs,” Ginny said out loud to the room, unsure if Hermione was listening to her or not.
Hermione stopped pacing, slowly sliding down the side of her bed to sit on the floor in front of ginny's feet. She could feel her whole body trembling, unable to keep her voice from wavering. She muttered, "I'm not sure I can go back there, Gin." she couldn't stop herself from picking at the skin around her fingernails, as she continued to stare at the wood floor beneath her. Ginny reached out and rested her hand on Hermione's arms, which lay crossed in front of her knees that she had pulled up into her chest.
"I know that no one can fully understand what you went through, love, but I think that going back might be helpful for you. You need to replace the bad memories with new good ones despite it being bloody terrifying." Hermione knew she was right; she usually was when giving advice. With tears threatening to spill from her eyes, she peered at the witch's comforting face. Ginny was the only one who didn't treat her like she was the same person as before the war; she understood more than the others.