A reunion of sorts
Regulus had gone from freezing and dying in a cave filled with inferni to being hurled in circles landing with a crunch on his side. he's dizzy and confused as to why he's no longer being dragged petrified to the water or why he's laying on carpet, that is until he feels the warmth of a living person's hands cradling him. he didn't open his eyes he didn't want to he'd be disappointed at the view. that is until he heard James Potters voice, his sun, his Patroclus the boy he'd loved since he was 15. this is the boy that taught him that love isn't stupid or made up it's real, Regulus understood the moment he knew James, really knew James, why Sirius chose to go to the Potters. Regulus wondered if Sirius was with he and James as he had his hair stroked like a child.
"My Patroclus" he murmured a small smile sneaking across his face as he opened his eyes.
James was as bright as he remembered him though he'd clearly been crying, he has puffy eyes and a red nose that was making him sniff frequently. but his eyes were still pools of honey and his smile and his lips were as inviting as ever. so when he had the chance regulus he picked his head up and brushed a kiss on James lips barely satisfying the need to be with James.
"Je t'aim James, je t'aim James" Regulus repeated it as James lay his forehead on regulus still smiling softly at regulus, he leant his head down and pressed an all encompassing kiss on Regulus lips. Regulus felt it all James love, worry, forgiveness, happiness Regulus felt it. it was all encompassing, all that Regulus could ever ask for. when James pulled away his smile widened and he had tears in his eyes.
"Āmi tōmākē bhālōbāsi" James spoke his voice thick with emotion, James went to speak again but thing don't always go to plan.
"Well anyone gonna tell me what the fuck happened here?!" Sirius voice boomed over James and Regulus reunion, he was surprised to hear his brothers voice and he was also surprised that James never told Sirius about them being together. Regulus sighed, straighten to sit up on James lap where he was half lay across his lap. as he turned to James he could see the smile making his face flush at the way James looked at him. how James can love him so fiercely even throughout what Regulus had done.
Regulus turned to where Sirius was sat on his new couch and tried to show his happiness at seeing his brother. "Sirius how are you? um its a lot to explain but erm i suppose we should do that now maybe while i pack my clothes. Come on then" Regulus rushed through his words and jumped up from James' lap holding out his hand to pull James from the floor below him.
"where are we going then because you've clearly decorated, a lot better by the way méred, are you in the master bedroom or something?" Sirius was trying and failing to keep is anger in. he clearly wanted answers and there was a lot to hash out but everyone would rather wait for later, not sooner. Regulus shook his head thinking of what to say to explain the fact he stayed hin his childhood room and even though his was re-decorated Sirius' was not.
"well no i kept my old room i wouldn't want to be sleeping in a room that Walburga slept in, absolutely not i re-decorated my room but urm... yours is the same i couldn't bare to touch it" Regulus voice is still hoarse and his head is beginning to hurt and nothing is explained yet. "what would you like us to explain first Sirius?"
"Well lets start with whatever’s happened or is happening with you two" Sirius' voice held the contempt and anger he'd always expected.
"good choice I'd prefer to talk about that i suppose" his voice wavered as he thought back to the day when he and James had their first real conversation, when Regulus finally understood the boy that he had determined to hate. "Well i suppose that starts the day after the prank, before you interrupt i knew about Remus' condition in first year and i knew from the moment you decided to do it that you would all become animagi. i found James in an abandoned classroom on the 5th floor it was when Remus was still unconscious, i heard James crying from down the classroom so i went in expecting him to be crying over Evans, how wrong was i huh? i don't even think he knew it was me but i think as he felt my presence , he realised someone was there and he just needed someone to hold him."
Regulus remember the way James face looked that day, he remembered the way he crumpled at his touch and he still remembered the way James sounded as he wailed. "i was just going to leave, i thought, but then i was reaching out to him and as soon as i touched him he crumpled, from that moment on i was gone. maybe it was because i saw him like that had a real conversation with him, so i knew there would never be anyone for me and apparently James felt the same. The next time i saw him was a week later when he dragged me under his invisibility cloak and took me to the room of requirement, i helped him through everything with the prank and other things he was struggling with and he showed me what being truly loved Was like helped me realise that our parents didn't raise me" Regulus took a breath knowing that this was something he had to say no matter the lump that raised in his throat or the knowledge that he only ever told James the words he was about to say. "you did " Regulus knew his voice was haggard and wavering because no matter how weak he sounded, no matter how weak he is it needs to be said. Sirius needed to hear it.
"You were a child and you raised me, you taught me right from wrong and comforted me and you were the one who celebrated my birthday and protected me you were the one who taught me to read and made me who i am i know that sounds insulting, but you had a big part in me realising the truth about their lies and their hatred. you and James taught me to love and be loved, Sirius i love you and i'm sorry i hurt you so much i'm sorry i didn't leave with you. if i'd have stayed i wouldn't have found the horcruxes and you would have died here you would have been dragged back by them and they’d have been the death of you, i was a child and i shouldn't have been left but you were a child and you shouldn’t have had to go through what you went through for so long we should have received help and not for left for dead." Regulus' rant effected himself more than he had expected and he was finding it hard to breathe properly as the salt of his tears kept trickling to his lips. He turned from his spot shoving things he needed for when he left into his bag (witch had a feather light charm and undetectable extension charm on it) and turned around first seeing the tears in James eyes, from pride or sadness regulus didn't know but was distracted by the look Sirius adopted. Sirius was no longer looking accusatorially at Regulus but shocked, his arms were slack at his sides as he looked at Regulus with a trembling lip and tears threatening to spill from the corner of his eyes. if he'd ever knew what his brother was thinking he'd tell people he was just trying to process and then find an appropriate response to what he had said but he didn't understand Sirius at all when he was thirteen let alone now when he hasn't seen his brother in years. So he waited, Regulus waited his eyes searching Sirius' as they both let their tears fall understanding how pivotal this moment this could be for them both, for the relationship they could have. Should have, would've had if things were only a little different. no matter how Regulus hoped Sirius would react the reaction he did get left him without any words left because there are no words when a brother you thought would never forgive you for what you've done rushes across the room to hold you, to express every emotion that Regulus had begged for when he'd let his older brother go and gave hope for his life away to protect him. And oh did he thank Merlin that this was the way Sirius had reacted. so slowly as if Sirius would dissipate if he moved to quick he embraced the brother he thought he lost and well that was it he crumpled against his chest almost choking on the sob that tore through his throat. Before either Sirius or Regulus knew what was going on James was holding them both as if to protect them both from anything that would want to stop the process of healing the broken and almost forgotten relationships.
Regulus heard Sirius chuckle wetly before choking out "i won't forget what you've done brother fucker, i thought you were running around with Evans. i suppose when you rejected her towards the end of our last year made that clear though. woah i cant believe you kept that from me." Regulus rolled his eyes until he realise what it was his brother had said. and that made regulus snap up his head to look up at James. Regulus mind was spinning, Lily Evans, The Lily evens James thought he loved right up until his fifth year wanted to date James and he said no? James eyes were clear as day as he thought through all the gossip he had managed to hear since James left, flipping through every word he'd heard about James, there was no mention of him ever dating anyone, to his knowledge, after they broke up. James knew what he was thinking, he always did so it didn't surprise him when James smiled softly and spoke with a trembling voice "i never moved on after you Regulus, how could I? not after you"
Regulus didn't understand, well he supposed he never could. how could someone like James who is the sun, who’s optimistic loving and all things good love a man like Regulus a pessimistic, lonesome anger filled person who never allowed himself freedom until the day he believed he would die. He could wholeheartedly believe James loved him the way Regulus loved James but it is as clear as day now, James still loved him no matter the fact he joined Voldemort nor the fact that he broke James' heart and Regulus simply cant believe it. so when Regulus broke the hug with his brother to pull James into him to slowly kiss James and feel evert emotion he could to tell James everything he could through the way his lips moved with James' and the way his fingers entwined with hair at the nape of James neck. And it was going well until a very uncomfortable Sirius clapped his hands at them and muttered complaints under his breath about not wanting to see his brother kiss James before getting over it and putting on a serious face. "though i did love the reunion and dragging my brother from a dead body" Sirius spoke his lip still trembling and his voice considerately quieter and calmer. "i must ask why are you packing a bag?" ahh and thats what Regulus didn't want to discuss, he knew the love that the three boys had for Peter Pettirgrew and how earth shattering it would be for the three boys, but Regulus thought that they deserved to know, all of them even all the girls that Regulus never shared a word with and especially Euphimia and Fleamont Potter the parent with hearts to rival their sons.
"i am going to destroy these horcruxes i have the tools to do it but in order to do it i need to go into hiding to make the dark lord think i am dead, i didn't think i was going to be able to help you with this part i thought- i thought i was going to die in that cave but i want to help the three of you so i'm packing and then we will go to your flat Sirius and pack you and remus things and then we can go to where James lives to collect his things and warn your family and friends about-" Regulus didn't finish what he was going to say and just spun around to pack the last of the things he had gotten out the day before thinking about the possibility of his survival.
"about what?' James asked wearily it was clear that Regulus had said far too much. ' I'll explain more when we are with Remus which shouldn't be too long as i'm all packed" regulus mumbled his tone was final and clearly James and Sirius understood that as they looked at Regulus for a moment before nodding their heads solemnly.
Regulus called for kreacher and smiled as he appeared before him with a squeaky pop. " kreacher" regulus smiled softly at the elf before speaking again. "you will tell anyone who visits this house that i have gone missing, you will came to me only when i call and you will only follow orders from Sirius, James or i please. thank you for bringing me the Horcruxes. Kreacher you have done me proud these years. i hope to see you again sooner rather than later" though his tone was assertive it was clear that he was speaking to the elf as an old friend. " we have to hurry to your flat Sirius, the four of us need to leave as soon as possible"
Regulus took the bag absently from kreacher and shoved it in his bag as the stepped back toward the stairs, he only stopped to look quickly at the house he had changed to a home that he could survive in a home he could come back to after he left today, and knowing that Regulus turned to smile softly at James and Sirius who were tailing behind Regulus. then Regulus remembered they were in a rush and thundered down the stairs of his childhood home and rushed Sirius and James to step out of the door regulus wrench open. once Regulus stepped out the closing the door behind him he held onto James hand to have him side-along apparate them to his brothers flat.
with only slight nausea and crushing pains in his skull they were stood at Sirius and Remus' flat door while Sirius fumbled with the keys. "Oh bloody hell Sirius how hard is it to unlock your own front door" Regulus chastised loudly receiving a playful glare from Sirius that made him and James both chuckle slightly. When Sirius finally opened the door he was awe in the way that Remus and Sirius had their home, the hallway was a warm brown with different pictures of the couple by themselves or with their friends and family. Regulus slowed as they reached the living room after walking past two opposite doors in the hallway. Regulus couldn't help but be amazes at the sight of the living room with two large brown couches and what James taught him was a Television in his fifth year, one wall was just a wall covered in books and the wall that was opposite it homed a fireplace and was filled with posters and more photos and Regulus loved it. this is always how Sirius described where he wanted to live when he was older, somewhere that was always light warn somewhere personal and filled with personality, and thats just what Sirius did with the help of Remus.
Regulus was pulled from his thoughts when Sirius spoke in a worried tone. " i just have to go and find remus in whatever room he's hidden in i'll need to explain some of this because well..."
"oh its fine, if remus came out here to a known death eater and your estranged brother holding his best friends hand and staring at his photos he would shit himself. " regulus spoke amused at the absurdity of the situation in front of them but completely okay with it none the less. Sirius chuckled darkly as he wandered off to the door behind the television leaving James and regulus on their own. probably not so smart of him. James smiled at him, the same smile that always made everyone smile the same smile that made regulus melt.
"Have you got any questions ?" Regulus asked James moving his hand to the back of James neck to play with the stray hairs at the bottom of his neck. Regulus smiled he could feel it, he hadn't smiled like this in years, he didn’t quite understand how James was still here forgiving him and loving him even though Regulus hurt him more than anything.
"nah" James murmured his voice cheery and his smile only getting wider. "I'm sure you'll explain everything when its necessary right now i'm just happy to be in the same room as you"
James stepped forwards and leaned his forehead on Regulus' and smiled lightly the little smile James reserved just for him and him alone. " i've missed you so much, more than anything" James voice was soft now all signs of hoarseness gone. Regulus breath caught in his throat, he'd missed that voice, it was soothing it was the voice that he imagined through the years to help him survive it was the voice that brought him peace. So he leaned his head up slightly and brushed his lips against James'.
"I've missed you to dear" James laughed loud, he always did and it always made him smile that stupid laugh. "i've missed that stupid laugh" Regulus could fall through the floor at how desperate he sounded to have any part of James near him to hear him.
"Oh, you’re still so mean" James smirked at him looking directly at Regulus with those honey brown eyes of his.
He could feel James snake his arms around his waist and pull Regulus flush against him flashing his stupid smile before leaning his head down to push his lips against Regulus'. As their lips move against each other’s they pulled each other as close as possible, it was like greeting an old Friend and drawing a part of himself he thought had forgotten about long ago. Apart of himself that scorched and burned and longed for James, a part that would build a life for him a life that was far away from the outside world so that they could build a family for both of them and live a long life with James and his friends and family. he was hungry to be any part of James life he could be. He wanted James to know. no, he needed James to know. Regulus melted into James bleeding every emotion into James caressing his hair and whimpering slightly into James' mouth drowning in him. Eventually he came up for air breathing heavily looking at James, smiling at James. Regulus kissed him again moving his lips with James' and nipped at his bottom lip to get access into his mouth sliding his tongue into James mouth.
"OH for fucks sake James, stop" Sirius screeched from beside a very outraged Remus.
"James, what the absolute fuck is wrong with you? I thought you fucking learnt from when you used to be together! i thought maybe you'd move on and learn from your mistakes clearly i was fucking wrong because look here your being stupid all over again, He's a fucking death eater James" remus' voice was booming through the room and his chest was heaving as he glared at Regulus.
"well, hello remus, almost seems like i'm not here to tell you who the traitor is or you know, kill Voldemort or reconnect with my brother and you know James or anything" Regulus let the sarcasm drip from his tongue looking at remus with a sickly sweet smile.
"James you cant be serious about this please tell me you don't believe this that he loves you and he's been spying or something please see reason" if he were James he'd believe remus over himself in a second but then James never really knew how little he could give him and if James did know he simply did not care. That's just how James potter is he loves with his whole heart and even friendship with James makes you feel the heat of him because James is the sun, protecting, loving and saving everyone but himself. James is his sun.
"Oh toss of Moony" James voice was firm and final, suggesting no room for argument. " Regulus never wanted this for himself, why shouldn't he get a second chance i know of all that Regulus has done and i believe that he deserves a second chance. and who better to tell us the traitor than the man who has recently met the traitor, w-whoever it may be! if you want to argue this we will do it later after you pack so that we can go to my parents."
"James see reason will you? you cant even be sure that this man loves you let alone his brother i wont leave with anyone unless i trust them" Remus voice was unusually emotional as he looked at James face breaking his protective lie little by little. Regulus hadn't seen James so heartbroken since he'd held him on their last night, he couldn’t watch James face contort in hurt like that and not say anything again.
"Hey!" Regulus voice was wavering with outrage as he stood firmly at James side not looking away from remus lupin whom looked to be almost feral with anger. " I love everything about him and i'm not a guy who says that lightly, i'm a guy who experienced fake love all my life, i a guy who thought that love couldn't possibly be real and those who felt it were stupid and reckless. But this man has a hold on my heart that i could not shake if i wanted to." Regulus didn't care about the way his brother and Remus looked at him because why would he care all he needed was James. " and there have been times that i wanted to" regulus let his voice crack slowly lower in outrage and anger." it has been overwhelming and humbling and even painful, especially painful but i could not stop loving him more than i could stop breathing. i am hopelessly, irretrievably in love with him more than he knows" Regulus let his chest heave up and down as he found James hand and intwined their fingers pulling his pale hand and dragging James tanned hand and softly kissing James palm smiling softly at him, before turning angrily to Remus. " and if you even dare to challenge me about Sirius before we leave i will have your testicles in a jar"
James laughed at that causing regulus to spin and face him, it was like James was bringing colours into a black and white world creating a beautiful sound no matter the tear tracks that have stuck dried on his cheeks or his dark curly hair that was stood all over the place from different hands stroking tugging and pulling at it. regulus smiled softly at James their hands still entwined and regulus had a feeling this was the beginning of the end.
"Right then Remus, Sirius you need to pack a magical tent any hygiene things you need clothes any food or drink you have here and whatever you consider needed for this but do it quick if we are to finish we need to do today we will need to be quick and now." Regulus watched as Sirius began to run around behind Remus grabbing a small bag and shoving anything he could grab into it stopping every now and then to nudge remus in the side. Regulus sighed because he knew what Remus wanted, an explanation.
"i met the traitor last week, he one of you but not quite. he's a rat. Peter Pettigrew is your rat that is why it is just the four of us here, He was at the last Death eater meeting when i found out about the horcruxes. i cannot risk Voldemort, well may as well just call him tom, i cant risk him finding out that i,m alive. if we want to destroy as many horcruxes as possible and destroy tom riddle we need him not to know what we are doing where, who, why, or how. it needs to be completely secret. and it needs to be continuously moving and secret. though you can tell those you love about peter and tell them to all do fidilius charms and do not make peter the secret keeper! i have decided to tell you three because i trust you all and i know that i need people i trust at my side. i can go fully in depth when we have the time but i need you all to agree to this before we go i need to know you are all in." you could say regulus voice was monotonous as he watched the the brother he loved realise that they had all been betrayed by a marauder, by one of their own.
Remus had fire in his eyes similar to Sirius' though it was clear they were all devastated they were first and foremost burning with anger.
"We're in, well go with the two of you" Remus voice held venom that Regulus had never heard before a venom that made his lips turn up. " of fucking course we are Rem no way that rat is gonna get away with this" Regulus recognised the venom coming from the back of Sirius' throat it used to be directed at him, it made Regulus smile now that he no longer had to stand on the burning end of Sirius but to watch his brother and Remus pack for what they didn't know because James gave him the chance to make them trust him. They probably didn't trust him fully yet but how could they . he would never hold their doubts and fears against them but to know that they trusted his word even a little was what made Regulus smile, and James, James was holding him down keeping him sane like he always did. all he wanted these past couple years was James, he wanted to drown himself in James. James, James, James.
next he knew James had his arms around Regulus waist and the hustle and bustle around them stopped and it was time to return James home.
Sirius used a shrinking charm on their bag and put it in his pocket. "So what now we’re packed completely betrayed by our best friend and have a giant mission, what now kill voldy" Sirius' voice held disdain and anger but he joked about everything that went wrong in his life, thats a reason he and Sirius never got on.so Regulus just ignored the way Sirius spoke and told him what was left of the day for them.
" well first we need to go to James house and get his things, then warn everyone you hold dear and give them ways to hide especially anyone pregnant. then we need to pick up someone who i didn't plan to include, but since i'm not dead i think we need her then we leave destroy horcruxes and ill explain the rest later" Regulus spoke the same as always he didn't divulge to much information and was ready to go he needed them all to be safe and he needed to destroy everything that fucking creep held dearest. "lets go, ill go with James because i've only been to his house once and i assume you two have spent a great deal of time there."
"You've been to James House!" Sirius and remus exclaimed in confused tones.
Regulus nodded his head dryly and spoke in a lofty tone "yeah but we can save all the stories and explanations for when we're on the run please, we need to get going."
everyone nodded and as regulus felt the familiar tug and spinning of aparation the traveling at such distance wasn't as bad with James' arms around him.
The Potter home looked the same as regulus last saw it, it's a large brick home with a bright purple front garden and a bright booming front garden, there was a pond with lily pads, pansies, sunflowers, roses and carnations. there was a large oak tree that must be hundreds of years old growing near the fence to the giant garden. Regulus always thought that the potter house was more homely than what he had growing up, so when James squeeze his hand bringing him back from a daze he smiled softly and walked quickly down the path to the door, stopping at the door Regulus took a deep breath and James opened the door with remus and Sirius trailing slowly behind them.
walking through the cream corridor filled with photos and ornaments on chests' of draws. Regulus made his way through the house where he knew the orange kitchen/dining room is and smiled through to the turquoise but very sheik living room and within seconds Regulus was stood before James parents once more. they looked almost the same if not gaining some new wrinkles due to the war. Euphimia Potter stood in he usual purple and blue sari, her skin was tanned and her smile lines were now mixed with frown wrinkles and her eyes were just as comforting, watching fro beside her husband, Fleamont Potter. Fleamont was wearing a navy coloured dhoti complimenting his dark skin and unruly bundles of dark brown curly hair atop his head.
when time seemed to go back to normal he could see Euphimia and Fleamont rushing towards himself and James embracing the muttering their thanks to merlin that they were okay and squeezing them tight. before turning and flocking to Remus and Sirius who at some point skirted passed the four and into the kitchen, Remus and Sirius could not evade the hugs and reprimand for running off without saying anything.
"Mum" James voice was strained showing the stress that accumulated in his mind as he watched his mum turn to him and he smiled weakly at her. "um we need to go away for a while the four of us and..." James choked up as he tried to speak so Regulus pulled James into his arms stroking his hair and kissing his head lightly.
"We've come to tell you mrs potter that peter is um is the traitor" even regulus himself felt his eyes tear up, Peter was not his friend but Sirius is his brother or was at one point and Regulus will forever love James he couldn’t help but wonder who peter would be willing to lose on his way to greatnesses, its no wonder his animagi is a rat. " Peter is the traitor. he's a death eater. so um we need you to warn everyone in the friendship group. please. i know this is a lot to ask mr and mrs Potter but it is important to keep all the marauders friends safe. Maybe the fidilius charm but nobody tells Peter"
Regulus sighed and spoke again " you have no reason to trust me i don't expect you to but all i want is a life with your son without risk and i don't want that future without you two in it."
Regulus felt like he couldn't breathe, it felt like there were boulders on his shoulders and an unspoken tension between the 6 people in the room. That was all gone within minutes though, Euphimia smiled and laughed loudly.
"of course we trust you Regulus. I trust you with my James and he is more important than anything so i trust you dear" Mia's voice was still as sweet as honey and like always she treated him as a child of her own making Regulus choke back tears and show her a watery smile as she beckoned him over to embrace him properly.