Angst
Sleep Deprivation:
It had been eighty-six hours and twenty-nine minutes since Potter had last slept. Snape had a charm running to time it. The boy was delirious at this point, muttering to himself about dead friends and lost dreams, his skeletal frame fumbling about the miniscule room he was kept in. He would only be permitted sleep again when he told of the whereabouts of another of his allies—his 'friends'.
The previous session had taken three hundred and seventy-two hours and fifty-six minutes before the wretch broke down. This third session would be shorter, perhaps only two hundred hours, perhaps less.
Always Hungry:
Potter was withstanding the starvation with much less difficulty than he had the lack of sleep. Snape was perplexed by this new show of strength. The boy had gone over two weeks without sleep before conceding the position of Lupin, but it was now three weeks with only a moulding slice of bread and a glass of water every four days, and the boy still remained silent. The boy was beginning to resemble a skeleton, and yet still nothing.
Then Snape heard something. "Vernon, nothing worse than Vernon." Vernon Dursley, the boy's uncle? Perhaps a new tactic was in order.
Courage:
Potter looked ridiculously small wrapped in the tartan blanket. The wool had to be scratching his sensitive skin, but he showed no signs of irritation as he greedily slurped his soup. He had already taken a potion to assure it stayed down.
Severus studied him, calculating his way in. "You have shown courage beyond even that of a Gryffindor."
"I am a Gryffindor."
"Yes, but I think even Godric would accept your surrender now, don't you? You've held on admirably, but you are fading and I will not relent. Give the locations and I will stop."
Potter only stared silently.
Benediction:
Shacklebolt hadn't been his main interest, but it was beginning enough to provide Potter a warm bed and three square meals. The alteration of his treatment wrought an alteration in Potter. He was not forthcoming, but he responded when Snape attempted conversation, raised no objection to their shared meals, and did not shy away when Snape 'casually' touched him.
"You know I've only done this on my Master's orders, don't you, Potter? Personally, I believe your determination alone warrants better."
"We never asked you to hurt anyone."
"No, my forced spying was a blessing bestowed upon me."
Potter said nothing.
Things Left Unsaid:
Breakfast, lunch, and dinner, the scene has played out three times a day nearly every day during term time at Hogwarts for over ten years. Harry Potter enters the Hall through the main doors, occasionally surrounded by chatting students, but more often not, and strolls up to the staff table to take his seat three chairs deep, on the right side.
Ten minutes later, Severus Snape sweeps through the side entrance and takes his seat four chairs deep, on the right side. Potter stiffens and they exchange a glare. Both proceed to tuck in. No words are exchanged between them.
Vertigo:
"So this is it?" Harry asked, standing on the ledge of the Astronomy Tower, a wand digging painfully into his neck.
"You always knew I was a Deatheater, Potter. Were you expecting anything less?"
"No, I just thought you'd have more courage than to make me jump."
"Self-preservation, not cowardice, Potter. They've already believed you made, suicide is not a far reach."
Looking down, the ground seemed much further than three hundred feet. Harry felt his stomach churn. "Why? Voldemort's dead, I don't matter anymore." His only answer was a compulsion to jump, something he was too distracted to ignore.
Nightmares:
Coaxing Potter into his bed had been far easier than he had first anticipated, but then he must have fractured Potter's resolve enough with their growing civility. The boy curled into his side in bed now, submitted to being ravished almost eagerly. It was all rather pleasant, actually.
And the dalliances had allowed Severus to make a wonderful discovery: in the throws of passion, Potter would reveal anything one liked to know without even realizing he had spoken. And thus, Severus had all the information from the boy that he liked without any of the strain of having to torture.
Last Dance:
"Dance with me?"
"I don't dance, Potter."
"This is my last night on Earth. You can't make an exception?"
"There isn't any music."
"We don't need any."
With a heavy sigh Severus pulled him into his arms and they began to sway together. Harry laid his head on Severus' shoulder and melted into him. Tears sprung into his eyes and he burrowed closer. "I don't want to die, Severus."
"We all have to die sometime."
"You're supposed to be consoling."
"I don't know how."
"Then just hold me."
They continued to sway in silence as his tears soaked Severus' robes.
Posthumous Request:
The invitation to the reading of the Will surprised Severus. He had no interest to hear that everything was going to the Weasleys. He grudgingly went anyway at Minerva's request and stood in the corner. After wading through miscellaneous items, he was enlightened as to his presence.
"To Severus Snape, the only man I ever truly loved, I bequeath the entire Potter estate." Severus was trembling as Minerva handed him a letter in Harry's writing. His Harry had given him more than money; he had given him the one thing he always wanted, the freedom to choose his own path.
Seven Year Itch:
"Potter, where are your things?"
"At Ron's," was the surprisingly-hostile answer.
"Is there a particular reason for their being at Weasley's?"
"I'm leaving."
Severus felt the air constrict in his lungs. "What do you mean?" He was not expecting the outburst that followed.
"I'm leaving you! I can't stand this relationship anymore! It's stifling! We used to have amazing, exciting sex, but now you never want to touch me and you're boring and I won't tolerate any more! Goodbye!" Harry left, slamming the door behind him, leaving Severus blind-sided and wondering where in the hell that had just come from.
Proving His Independence:
Snape always interrupted the post before Harry could get to it, even Harry's, then handed the non-business correspondents to him afterwards. It drove Harry mad. One morning, as Snape was getting up to take the post to his desk, Harry decided to stop him. "Two of those are for me."
"Indeed, I will inform you of any pertinent information later." He leaned down to kiss him and Harry made a grab for the parchments.
"I have a right to read them."
"You wouldn't understand them."
Sneering, Harry yanked them out of his hand. "We won't know that until I do."
Fin.