Five
24th November 1975
This dream is different to the others. Severus is running, afraid, as he often is in his nightmares; ever since that first one Morpheus had witnessed it had been a repeating scenario. But the other main element of Severus’ dreams was usually the taunts and threats of others; from his parents and neighbours, to peers and teachers, he was often crowded by faces staring, jeering, or hitting him.
Tonight he is alone.
He runs through a forest in the dark, a cold round moon hanging low above the tree tops. Not chased by crowds of people, or even the hulking, vaguely human form that had chased him at night as a young child, and which Morpheus is sure represented the boy’s father. This creature is far more specific, and far more real than anything Morpheus has seen in Severus’ dreams before. One of the most realistic manifestations he has ever seen – which usually indicates that this is something the dreamer has encountered in the waking world. Which is disturbing indeed, because the creature Severus is being chased by is a werewolf.
Vague house like shapes appear through the trees, or sometimes just doors. Each time Severus runs to the door and bangs on it, crying out for help, but is either ignored, or the door is closed in his face, by impassive, uncaring figures.
The wolf is hot on his heels now, the panic rising in his throat as he trips over roots and branches which seem almost to grasp at him. There are windows now too, and behind them laughing faces, but still no one allows him entry. They do not believe him, or if they do they do not care what happens to him.
Then suddenly a door opens dead ahead, welcoming him in, and Severus stumbles onto a patterned carpet. He knows this place. It is safe. He remains on his hands and knees, panting, and shaking with adrenalin for quite some time before he looks up.
The Sandman is sitting on a low stool, observing him silently. His expression is almost as impassive as those whom had turned him away moments before, but it is not completely without caring. And more importantly is devoid of any judgement.
‘It was a dream.’ Severus states after a moment.
‘Yes.’ Morpheus responds. He knows the young man does not need empty reassurances, and would not care to be patronised.
As the relief slowly sinks through his mind, calming his frayed nerves, Severus rises to his feet and approaches the low table which is laid out with mint tea as always. He takes a floor cushion opposite the Dream King and sips the drink which he now associates with safety and comfort.
‘One of my classmates is a werewolf.’ He states.
‘And no one believes you?’ Morpheus guesses, but the boy laughs bitterly.
‘I’m not supposed to tell.’ He sneers.
Morpheus tilts his head.
‘Who has told you this?’
‘The Headmaster.’
‘The Headmaster of the school is aware of the werewolf, and has sworn you to secrecy? Even though it chased you, attacked you?’
Severus glances up. The Dream King had never sounded concerned for him before. Severus had some notion that perhaps he cared – he must do otherwise why would he keep visiting? It was pretty clear by now that Severus was never going to have a good dream on his own, so why continue to bother with him?
‘It didn’t quite chase me.’ He admits. Severus has no reason at all to make excuses for any of them, but it feels important to tell the Sandman the complete bare truth of it. ‘He says he wasn’t in on it – didn’t know.’ Remus Lupin had approached him several times this past week, begging Severus to believe him. Not – he is sure – because Lupin gives two shits about Severus, but because the cowardly lion cannot bear to have anyone think that badly of him. Plus Severus knows his secret, and Lupin wouldn’t want that getting out. ‘They say it was all Black’s idea.’ Severus continues. Whether that was true or whether Black had simply agreed to be the scapegoat he would probably never know.
The next bit is difficult to admit, because he feels so stupid.
‘He said…’ Severus flushes with shame. ‘He said they wanted to call a truce… that Lily had been talking to them about me and… and they needed my help with some spell work.’ He buries his face in his hands muttering to himself. ‘Stupid, stupid, I knew he was lying but I thought… I don’t know…’
‘What happened then?’
‘He told me how to get in this secret tunnel, and to meet them after curfew. I should have known – but I thought even if it was a trap I thought I could take them! I wasn’t expecting there to be a fucking werewolf down there.’
‘This other boy – Black – he is friends with the werewolf? And he tricked you into going down the tunnel on the night of the full moon, where he knew the werewolf would be waiting?’ Dream’s voice has taken on an edge of anger to it now.
Severus nods. He is overwhelmed not only by the memory, but by the fact that someone is angry about it. For him. Nobody else had been. The Headmaster was more worried about Lupin, and Lily didn’t believe him. Maybe if he’d been able to tell her the full story then she would have cared, but Severus couldn’t be sure that he wouldn’t be the one being kicked out of school if he told anyone, so he’d just tried to hint things to her, hoping that she would eventually realise on her own. Lily was clever enough to figure it out. But she didn’t want to know, she was more interested in berating him for the people he’d been hanging out with. As if he had so many options.
‘I am sorry Severus. I cannot interfere in the affairs of the waking world.’ Morpheus says. And he sounds like he really is sorry.
‘S’okay.’ Severus mumbles. ‘I can take care of myself.’ His voice and his face takes on a hardened edge. ‘I’m already best in our year in Defence, better than everyone in the school in potions, including Slughorn, and I’m working on a spell that will put anyone down. For good.’ He glares from behind his curtain of hair, and Morpheus cannot help but smile slightly. Severus is growing strong, powerful, though that concerns him a little too. Power can be difficult to rein in. Vengeance difficult to temper. He knows this himself all too well.
‘Just do not forget who you are Severus.’ The Dream King leans forward on his elbows and stares back at Severus with those fathomless eyes.
‘I’m not a victim. I’m not weak.’ Severus insists.
‘No.’ Morpheus agrees. ‘You never were.’
~~*~*~~