On the Verge of Homicide Pt.1
It’s been a few days since my argument with Pansy—No—Parkinson I mean. She seems to be elated to be free from me, given she’s spent all her time smiling with Theo. I guess I should be happy for her finally finding someone she cares about more than herself, but frankly, I could give two shits when it comes to Pansy and her bs.
Passing through the common room I hear a whistle, “Alone again, Malfoy?”
Glancing over, I realize it’s Zabini. Ugh. I never know what’s going on with that guy. Sometimes I think we’re sort of friends, and other times I think we are nothing more than acquaintances. Now though, it seems to be neither. “What’s it to you?” I reply.
“Ooh! Rough morning I see. So I’ve been meaning to ask…Did you really snitch on Pansy’s crush?” He smirks.
“Are people still concerned about this? No. I didn’t ever say anything like that.” I try and walk away, giving my usual dramatic exit, but he starts fucking laughing—Laughing in a way that just screams ‘disrespect’ and ‘stupidity’. So you really can’t blame me for turning back around and putting him in his place.
“You know, Zabini, you always act high and mighty, like someone that actually impacts the lives of others, but truly and really, I could—along with every other person in this godforsaken school—go without your mouth running and running and running. It’s not as though you have a single interesting thing to say, you only repeat the same things everyone’s already heard. It’s old, Blaise. Find a new hobby.” I harshly spit out. Thought the “Blaise” added some spark to my speech.
Not waiting to hear his retort, I rush out of the common room to make my way to the Great Hall. I’m not going to gorge on breakfast, like all the other skinny, perfect students at Hogwarts, but I will have a carrot stick: For the vitamins of course. Once I take my seat at the Slytherin table, I let my mind wander to a certain person I’ve been trying desperately to suppress from my head. Raphael. I haven’t seen him in a day, and even then, I didn’t even have the chance to wave at him. I know he’s getting involved in the contest—I think as some sort of cheerleader and moral support for his schoolmates participating in tournament—but it really shouldn’t be taken all of his attention off of me. I thought he liked me, even seemed rather obsessed for a minute there, but I guess it didn’t last. Maybe he saw me in a bad lighting or something. Hm. Who knows? But if he doesn’t try to talk to me in the next 24 hours, I’m going to erase him from my mind. And you see, I have a ritual for this sort of thing. I already have one for Parkinson planned, adding Raphael won’t make it that much harder.
The ritual I do is what I like to call the “Block Button in Real Life”. This is where I take a belonging of the person I am banishing from my life, put the object in an inclosed area, and burn it. Any tears I have over the loss dries up as the flame fades away. It’s a pretty simple, yet effective, ritual. So yeah, I didn’t know Raphael that well, but I thought there was potential to begin to know him. It’s whatever though. I can live without friends, I love being alone anyways. I know how to not be lonely when I’m alone. Even though Zabini seems to think that’s untrue.