mon étoile éternelle

James Potter would never have expected to spend his only Saturday night off at the ballet.

 It was an event so foreign that it simply wouldn’t have crossed his mind. But when his hockey coach decided that the entire team would begin to study the artform for months, starting with this very performance, James had no choice but to go. It was supposed to help enhance their agility, their gracefulness, and apparently teach them how to…? Well, James wasn’t too sure what else ballet was designed to help them with, as he had zoned out at that point.

He wasn’t exactly opposed to trying something new, it’s just that he loves hockey, and it’s sometimes hard for him to see things in a larger picture. Sure, he understands that ballet will pay off and make future James a better hockey player, but present James is disappointed that he’s spending his time in the auditorium rather than on the ice. 

As he sits down in his red velvet seat, with wood carvings sprawling down the legs and arm rests, his first inclination is to swing his feet up onto the seat in front of him. James has to place his hands firmly on his thighs, in fact, to prevent that from happening. 

The air is stuffier than he would like, and the tie around his neck is all too tight. It doesn’t help that there’s a large bruise blooming there from a puck that got barreled at him the other night. 

He’s still not as uncomfortable as Sirius, however, who looks like he’s going to fall asleep and puke at the same time. His boredom is battling his disgust, and James wonders which one will win. It’s a bit of a complicated situation for Sirius, if James is going to be honest. Sirius hasn’t spoken to his brother in a year, let alone see him for two. And now he must watch, as a stalker– for Regulus doesn’t know he is in the audience– his little brother star in Giselle. 

James knows Sirius would never be here if not for the ultimatum he was given earlier in the day– see the ballet, or get kicked off the team. Because quitting was not an option for Sirius. He loves the game too much. So, here he sits, twelve hours later, in a shimmery black tux with his hair neatly done by blowdryer. 

His face has nowhere near the same amount of poise as his outfit, however. His jaw is clenched, his eyes are squinting; not to mention his nails are adding new carvings to match the ones already etched into the seats.

“Ok?” James questions, worried how his best friend is going to make it through the entire ballet when he’s already raging before the lights have even dimmed. 

Sirius huffs before giving his answer, laced with sarcasm. “Just great. Amazing, actually.”

“Hey,” James turns to look at him, “we don’t even have to see him. We’ll just watch, learn how to twirl de do in our hockey games, and then leave after intermission.”

Sirius snorts in response, “Ok, but only if we get snacks before heading out.” 

“Absolutely. Done.” James is happy he was able to turn around Sirius’ mood so fast. Just in time for the lights to dim.

It takes a little while for things to get started. Some folks in the audience whisper quietly while James taps his knee against the carpeted floor. He really wishes he had a snack. Apparently it's not acceptable to bring food into the auditorium, however, as the crunching noises are too “distracting” to other audience members. James suspects, though, that the theater simply doesn’t want them to stain their carpet. 

The orchestra begins to play, and James is entranced by the synchronized hum of a note. He begins to relax a bit more, though he’s not positive if he can say the same for Sirius as the prologue plays. 

At first, James still doesn’t understand the hype surrounding ballet. Yes, the moves are pretty, but where is the action? Why doesn’t anyone voluntarily break out into a fight? He doesn’t know if he can sit through two whole hours of pretty tutus and dainty leaps. 

Yet, he manages to get through the first scene because of his respect for Coach Minnie. She told him that he was supposed to learn something valuable from this experience, something that would help him win future games, so he figures she must be right. He has to at least try to find some relation to his sport. 

It takes him a little bit to notice it. The intricacy of their footwork. How they plan their motions. 

In hockey, one must think on their feet. James has no time to prepare how he’s going to block his opponents. However, it definitely comes in handy to have predetermined moves that help with certain situations.

And the lead girl, who he assumes is Giselle, definitely knows her fast footwork. She’s able to look pretty and effortless because her feet know what they’re doing. And James would like to achieve that on the ice. 

He relaxes into his seat more, satisfied with his brilliant observation. He wishes he could give his brain a high five. 

James’ few moments of examining the ballerina’s feet are quickly short-stopped, however, when Regulus appears on the stage. He hears Sirius take a sharp inhale. James hears himself taking one as well.

To be fair, it's been a few years since James last saw Regulus. And 13 year old Regulus is much, much different than 16 year old Regulus. He’s grown taller; a height that fits him well, and his face has certainly changed. It’s much more angular than James remembers. Little Regulus had puffy, red cheeks, like those of a chipmunk were transferred onto a human. These have been chipped away, though, for whatever reason, and it doesn’t please James very much. 

He is a spectacular dancer, nonetheless. 

James didn’t get the ballet before. He does now though. 

Regulus has this twinkle about him. Something enthralling that James can’t pull his eyes away from. The way in which he moves his arms, like willow tree branches swaying in the wind. His feet, though, have precision that juxtapose the elegant upper body. 

Yeah, he’s definitely showing off with these moves. 

James is almost envious– why can’t he move like this on the ice? For him, its all hardcore. A job that needs to get done; people that need to get smashed into the dasher boards. 

Regulus, on the other hand, is both aesthetically pleasing and utterly impressing. James doubts he could ever perform those moves with a style like that. 

James peers over at Sirius. It appears James’ reaction was nothing compared to that of Sirius’. He’s completely leaned forward, elbows on his knees and palms supporting his chin, simply gazing in awe at his brother. 

James has never seen this type of reaction from his best friend. Not even when they went to a Stanley Cup game one year and got to see the best players in the world with front row seats. Sirius was definitely happy then, but he’s currently ogling over his baby brother. He probably assumes no one can see him, so he’s safe to love his brother openly. Otherwise he would never be this vulnerable. But James can see right through his facade, even in the dark. 

He decides to let Sirius have his moment, though, and goes back to staring at Regulus himself, which he certainly has no problem with. There are few moves done on stage that James recognizes– the leap being one of them. Or, he thinks that is the technical term. 

The lovely performance comes to a halt, with the main ballerina pulling her hair out and falling dramatically to the floor, signifying the intermission. 

The lights come back on, and Sirius immediately gets up, jaw locked back in place. 

“Well, I suppose that’ll be good enough for Minnie, don’t you think?” He practically starts climbing over peoples’ legs, attempting to zoom out of the row of seats before anyone else.

“Hey wait, Sirius, don’t you want to stay–” James tries to get him to sit back down. He knows Sirius wants to stay deep down.

Sirius interrupts him. “Oh no, James, I think we’ve seen quite enough.” He laughs a little bit, then keeps sprinting. 

“Well I, uh,” James’ voice strains awkwardly as he tries to hop over people’s legs to catch up with Sirius, “I mean don’t you think it might be nice to see how the story plays out?” 

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll read about it somewhere.” 

“What? You don’t read!” The response wasn’t meant to be spiteful, it was simply fact.

“Well, prongs, consider me turning a new leaf. You too, it appears…” he glances back at James, expecting him to catch on to his insinuation. James does. Of course he does. His and Sirius’ thoughts are commonly linked to one another.

“What! I mean, did I like it more than I expected, yes. But did I fall in love with ballet, absolutely not!” James stutters a bit, faltering in his explanation of his newfound feelings for ballet. James was ardently against going to see the ballet this morning, as he told Sirius. 

“Hmm… well, I guess I would have to confess I enjoyed it more than I had expected too–” Sirius agrees before James promptly interjects. “So then can we stay? It would be lovely to see–” 

“Yeah, no. I’d prefer to leave before twinkle toes makes his daring entrance as some guy lost in a forest.” 

James knows that Sirius is talking about Regulus, and as much as he would love to ask, James must leave him his space. He figures it might take a while for Sirius to gather his thoughts about seeing his brother for the first time in years.

“Well, that’s understandable. Want to raid the snack bar then head over to the rink to discuss with Minnie our findings?”

Sirius repeatedly nods his head. They run off to the lobby where patrons are allowed to buy and eat snacks.

When James and Sirius return to the brigade, they turn to find a fuming Coach Minnie. 

“Why are you boys back so early?” She hisses, using her typical, harsh tone.

“Oh, easy coach.” Sirius responds, “We just caught on to how the principles of ballet would help us in hockey so easily that we decided our brains had done enough work for the day and deserved to be rewarded by stepping out onto the ice.”

“Mmhmm,” James agrees as he claps Sirius on the back, “Couldn’t have said it better.”

Minnie still doesn’t seem amused. “Oh, and by what exactly does that mean?” She questions.

“Well, you see” James explains, “We have personally discovered that the footwork of ballet dancers mirrors that of hockey players. You have to know how your feet move in order to face your opponents.” 

“Hmm, Potter, I see. And now, show me exactly how to move your feet in order to achieve such a feat.”

James awkwardly stands there, about to start laughing because she said feat and feet in the same sentence. He’s not sure what she wants him to say. “I’m sorry, coach, do you want me to give you a little spin or something?”
“Of the sort,” Coach Minnie replies with a grin. 

James tries his best, he really does, in an attempt to do what he believes is called a pirouette. Regulus taught him that one, along with “leap”, though James swears that wasn’t exactly the term Regulus used. 

His pirouette fails. Miserably. 

“Now, Potter, do you see that you have absolutely not observed enough?” She looks at him in shame. 

“Uh, yeah, I guess you could say that…” James scratches his head as his face turns red.

Sirius laughs at him, doubling over and causing coach Minnie to scowl at him too. 

“You know, as the two star players I would have expected you two to see this through.” She truly looks disappointed in them, which makes them both sad. They respect her opinions greatly as a coach, and they hate to see her mad at them. If James is being honest, he’s never seen her so upset with them. He wants to make it right, and he can tell Sirius does too by the way he is awkwardly cracking his knuckles. 

Minnie waits for the awkward silence to settle around them before speaking again. “I suppose it would be a good time for me to announce that I have spoken with your parents, and they thought it would be nice for you to take on this new challenge more seriously for your hockey career.” By ‘parents’ Minnie means only James’, as Sirius moved in with James at 15. 

James and Sirius look at each other, wondering what the new challenge will be, and why it would be necessary to involve James’ parents.

“You see,” Minnie continues, “I believe it would be best for you to learn some principles from the ballet students. Especially from those at our nearby boarding school.” 

The color in Sirius’ face drains. Minnie seems to notice, but has already anticipated this setback. “Now I understand your relations with your brother might complicate your decision, but I assure you that you will not see Regulus for one minute at this school. As beginners,” and Minnie can’t seem to stop herself from laughing here, “you will most certainly not be in the same class as Regulus or anyone who will be associated with him.”

This seems to ease him a little bit, though Sirius is still not convinced. “Alright,” he says, “but I’m still wondering why this is necessary? I mean, I know ballet makes hockey better, yada ya ya, but a whole new school? I mean…”

“This new school will also bring hockey to the ballet students. I can assure you that not only will you be able to dance, but you’ll be able to practice much more often. They’ll have the ice open for the whole day, so the team won’t have to come in anymore at such weird times–” 

“I think James and I are sold on this idea, coach.” Sirius looks thoroughly happy. It could be the fact that he gets to play hockey more, or that he gets to have less school, or perhaps that he will be closer to Regulus. Whatever it is, however, he doesn’t need to tell James twice. 

James is ecstatic. Not necessarily with the ballet part, but he will be looking forward to having an open rink whenever he needs it. He knows the location; the rink he will be practicing at in the future is right next to the ballet school. They originally built it for figure skating, dumping all the arts into one part of town. He hopes it will be as good as the rink he practices at now. He knows it will be, though.

Pumping his fist into the air, James just gives a, “whoopie!” in response, letting Minnie know he’s in agreement with Sirius. 

His mind is overcome with excitement. He can’t really think about anything else at the moment. Just hockey. Being free to play hockey whenever, wherever. 

“Well, that’s good then. Because they’ve also hired me to coach there part time, so don’t think you’ve gotten rid of me yet.” Minnie is smiling, and this makes James and Sirius infinitely more happy, because even though they hadn’t yet thought of who would be coaching them, they wouldn’t want it to be anyone but her. “Though don’t think you’re off the hook for slacking on watching the ballet. Get on the ice and give me Herbies until the rest of the team comes back.” 

As much as Sirius and James hate sprinting back and forth on the ice for practice, they still smile anyways. They love this sport. 

The next morning, James is humming. He’s still over the moon about his new journey with hockey… and ballet by association. It’s not that he has anything against ballet, it’s just he knows he won’t love it as much as he loves hockey. He thinks that would be impossible. 

And James would simply rather focus his efforts on getting better at hockey by playing hockey rather than by playing… ballet? Can one even play ballet? 

Either way, he’s most looking forward to unobstructed time with the ice. Whenever he wants.

And he’s excited to move away (like five miles) from his parents. He feels he’s ready. It’s his second to last year of schooling before he can be signed to a professional hockey team, and he must prepare for independent life on the road. 

Independent but with Sirius, of course. Him and Sirius will get signed to the same team– he’s absolutely sure of it.

Though maybe James will turn into quite the scholar at this new ballet/hockey/academic school, and then he’ll go to college. He doubts this will happen, though, as school has never been an interest to him. 

He’s currently packing his bags, even though he lives a total of 10 minutes from his new school and his parents could bring him whatever he needed. They even told James and Sirius they didn’t have to board at school, but James and Sirius insisted on it. They told Euphemia and Fleamont that it would promote ‘tremendous team building’ and would prepare them for their future lives as hockey stars. 

So of course, Euphemia and Fleamont were willing to pay the extra tuition for boarding, along with paying double tuition for the boys just to be there. Sirius felt horrible about this, but James’ parents were already set on the idea, so there was no going back. After all, Euphemia had been an alum from the girl’s program at Cherier Boarding School, so she felt the same need to send Sirius and James there. 

They would be starting a little after the term had already begun, but it was alright because half of their hockey team would be, too. An influx of about 16 new hockey players, with Sirius and James the best among them, would be joining the ranks of ballerinas. And James isn’t too sure how to feel about this. 

On one hand, James thinks it is so lovely that he can spend more time with his teammates, as he adores each and every one of them. On the other hand, he is scared about meeting the ballerinas. He hears bad things about them.

For one, they’re supposedly terrifying. He’s heard rumors that girls have put needles in other girls’ costumes, glass in pointe shoes, and the strange investigation that happened last year at the boarding school where some guy supposedly pushed his friend off a building the day before their end of the year performance. 

James doesn’t know what to believe about that. It was all pretty hushed; the only reason he knows was because his mom heard from her ballet teacher friends inside the school. He figures it has rocked the school though, whatever happened. 

Perhaps that’s why they’ve decided to bring the hockey team in; maybe they realized the pretentiousness within the school needed to be knocked down a few notches. And James thinks he could definitely do this. He imagines he will walk into an environment that is entirely too uptight, just like how it was at the auditorium, and feel the immediate need to calm everyone down (like tenfold). 

After cramming all of his socks into his suitcase and jamming his hockey gear into his bag, as James is quite the overpacker, he turns around to find all of Sirius’ stuff neatly placed into a singular bag.

“How did you manage that?” James asks, incredulous. 

“I suppose I’m just a brilliant packer,” he replies nonchalantly. “I also wanted to start preparing how to pack lightly. We’re gonna have to be on the road all the time, prongsie pop.”

James wheezes at the name, though takes his words into careful consideration. “You’re absolutely right Sirius Black, light of my life.” Oh Sirius, how brilliant he is. Always two steps ahead, even if him packing lightly was him just being lazy and playing it off like he smartly thought it out. 

“I suppose I shall need to dump half of the stuff out of mine,” James announces, before dumping all of his suitcase contents onto his bedroom floor. He ends up only bringing his hockey bag, then deciding to grab outfits from his closet right before leaving the house, as he will be forced to wear other clothes at school. 

Euphemia and Fleamont drive them the 10 minutes to the boarding school gates, where they will be staying until their Thanksgiving and Christmas breaks. James notices his dad is almost in tears when they have to drop the boys off, even though James plans to make frequent visits home. 

“Dad,” James says softly, “You know we’ll be back this weekend, yeah?” 

“Oh I know James,” his dad replies, still a bit teary eyed after wiping his eyes with his sleeve, “It’s just that we’ll miss having you boys with us every night. It’ll be a bit of a change.” 

Euphemia hugs him at that, and James starts to be upset. He doesn’t want to leave his parents, especially because he knows they’re thinking of next year when Sirius and James will actually be gone, instead of just five days per week. 

“Well,” Sirius pipes up, “I mean I suppose you guys could always dorm here too right? Euphemia could even have her same room!” At this they all laugh– Sirius always manages to brighten the mood. “Hell, I mean,” he continues, “you could even go on tour with us around the states!” 

“Atta boy,” Fleamont responds, all too excited at the idea of watching his boys play hockey all day.

They all give each other hugs, before Euphemia drags Fleamont into the car. Sirius and James are left alone by the gate with two suitcases, a hockey, and (by association) ballet dream.