Chapter 1
Sirius isn’t sure how to feel, being back in that town after everything.
He hasn’t had any choice in the matter, and he doesn’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. He knows that if it was left up to him, he probably would have declined this opportunity, and inevitably regretted it later.
They’d taken the train to get here, only getting a taxi because the station is in the next town over. As Sirius watches the familiar landscape pass by, the driver can clearly see his face in the mirror, because he asks him, “You been ‘ere before?”
”Mm. I grew up here, actually.”
”You did? What’d ye say yer name was, then?”
”Um. Sirius.”
”Sirius… uncommon name, that, eh?”
”Yeah, blame my family for that one mate.” Sirius mutters.
”It’s a star! The brightest in the Canis Major constellation!” One of the girls chirps up form beside him.
”Ah! I got it. Black. Regulus Black’s brother, yeah?”
”Mhm. You knew him? Hold on. Stan. Stan Shunpike, Right?” Sirius had thought he recognised that crooked grin, the acne-scarred face. The guy was a year younger than Sirius, in Reggie’s year, but he had always been the guy you could go to if you needed a ride anywhere. When they were younger, he excelled in smuggling kids into his dad’s taxis, and when they’d gotten older, Stan had taken over the company.
”Tha’s me. I drove your brother around a fair few places, back then. What about yer pretty lady friends, eh? Will I know them?” Stan grinned, winking. Unease prickled in Sirius’ spine as he brought up that time. It didn’t really surprise him that Reg had used his services, whilst Sirius and his friends had always tried to steer clear of him. They’d used him once, when they were 12, and it had not ended well.
”No.” Sirius replied curtly, and thankfully Stan took the hint. The short rest of the journey passed in silence
The taxi pulls up outside the hotel that had always seemed out of place, when he lived here. It had been weird, to the child he was, to think of the place where he lives as being a place where someone else might come on holiday. He’d never imagined that one day, four years later, he would be coming in holiday here. Although, it isn’t a holiday, as such, but close enough.
Before he gets out of the car, he pulls out his phone and sends off a quick text to his brother, who honestly seems more anxious than Sirius about him returning. He had almost refused to let Sirius go, despite the fact he had had even less say in the matter than Sirius himself. He had eventually reluctantly accepted that sours wasn’t going to change his mind, but sent him with strict instructions to keep him updated and not go looking for trouble, which Sirius understood to have deeper meanings than he let on.
Sirius is slightly surprised that he doesn’t recognise anyone as he ambles through the large reception. Even though in the mild mid-Spring weather it’s not quite peak season, there is still a fairly large amount of people littering the corridors.
The other girls he’s with have been chatting excitedly for the whole taxi journey, and continue to do so all the way up to their three neighbouring rooms. They only occasionally attempt to include Sirius, being met with grunts and other dismissive answers. Sirius knows they are talking about him sometimes, because they lower their voices to a whisper, shooting him glances and giggling. One such time is in the elevator. They bring up the fact that he used to live here, and ask him how he feels about being back. Sirius isn’t entirely sure how they knew about that, but confirms it, and says that he always loved it. He doesn’t exactly answer their question, because he doesn’t really know himself. They can tell, and start their insufferable whispering. Sirius is sure he catches them saying that he’s ’just like Reg’.
This is going to be a long two weeks.
~
Today is a boring day, in terms of customers. As Remus sits there, his hands scan the items and do the rest of his job, whilst his mind travels else where. It is now that he decides that he is not going to have so much as a drunken shag with anyone for at least six months. Well, that might be pushing it, but he really is going to try to keep some time just for himself. He isn’t interested in actually being in a relationship, and, at the moment, even the sex isn’t doing it for him.
He was tired of kicking people out of the flat just because he woke up next to them and they weren’t him.
He thinks it was strange, and he has done for the last four years. His friends had lived here in this quaint seaside town their whole lives. He grew up in an even quainter Welsh seaside town, and only came to this one for summer holidays growing up, and later when he went to university down the road. Now he was the only one here. The others all buggered off. He hated that he knew where they all went to.
James and his parents moved to Scotland, to where the family house was, because the great aunt that lived there died, leaving behind an ill husband, and, apparently, a plethora of children.
Peter had moved to London. His family still live here, but Pete never much liked them. He went to uni there, and had always talked about making a life there. Remus was proud that he had the guts to do it.
And Sirius… well, the House of Black had up and moved to Wales, ironically enough. The minute things got bad, they were out of here. But Remus doubted Sirius was with them. He was probably in Scotland, with James. Or maybe both he and James had moved somewhere else. Maybe they were in London with Pete, and James and Pete just happened to overlook this in their occasional correspondences. Maybe Sirius had run off to America. Maybe he’d met someone new…
Ok, so just because Remus knew where they went to, doesn’t mean he actually knows where they are now. He knows that it would probably be easy enough to find out, but he has enough self control for that. Actually, that is pretty much the only thing he can prevent himself from doing. If he did get back in touch though, he would-
“Oi!” Fuck. Remus looks up to find a burly red faced man glaring in his direction, whilst gesturing towards the full till.
“Oh, sorry,” Remus says meekly as he rapidly scans the shopping items of this angry man. He must be a tourist, Remus hasn’t seen him here before. “Cash or Card?” He asks, voice monotone.
That happens sometimes. If he gets too invested in his thoughts, particularly if they are about the past, he stops. He will just sit there, staring into space until something brings him back to reality. He really needs to get a hold of himself. He can’t afford to get fired, which is what will likely happen if this happens much more often.
So for the next three hours he’s at work, Remus locks all memories of his old friends away, and concentrates purely on being the best cashier possible, smiling and greeting every customer and making polite conversation, all while keeping his queue moving at a fast pace. It’s not necessary, but a promotion would be nice, he decides. He knows it’s wishful thinking, but it’s wishful thinking and unlikely possibilities that gets him through his life.
~
As it turns out, the hotel here is quite nice. Maybe that explains why the tourists kept coming back. Why Remus kept coming back. Sirius didn’t get a sea view. He doesn’t really care-he’d seen the sea here almost every day for nineteen years. Instead he got a view over the high street. He’s spent the first two hours since arriving just sitting by the window and watching. He’s surprised by how many familiar faces he’d already seen. There’s old Susan, the Potter’s neighbour. The Potter’s old neighbour, he reminds himself. There’s Bill, the Postie. Or, he was a postie. Sirius can’t imagine him ever stopping, but he’d been the postman for his area as long as he could remember. He’d been great at smuggling Sirius the packages that his parents would have killed him for. Or, half killed him, at least. Oh look, there’s Peter’s older sister Annabelle. And is that Jason Higgs that she’s with? They make a good couple. Sirius has always thought they’d be good together but Pete always insisted they hated eachother. Well. Not anymore.
He recognises about half of the shops that he can see. He is glad to see that most of the traditional ones, his childhood favourites, were still up and running. Quite a lot of others had changed, a different chain in their place. Those were the ones that would probably be gone in another four years.
That’s the worst thing. That he still recognises things but so much has changed. He doesn’t know anything that’s happened over the last four years, any of the local drama. He hasn’t been a part of any of the local drama (whether it was him and his friends, or his family, or his brother, you could always find someone with something to say about the Balcks, and something was always happening involving them.)
Sirius had decided that he was better off staying inside, than going out there. He might make more reckless decisions when there is nothing between him and the town. It’s bad enough in here, with only a sheet of glass keeping him back.
Maybe a sea view would have been better, after all, Sirius decides eventually. Because on that high street, above the fourth shop in from the end, there is a small flat. Now, the shop beneath it is a Dominoes. Back then it was a Chinese. The smells were great, unless you were hungover. He remembered the extremes they’d gone to, smuggling Remus in to one of their houses so he didn’t have to brave the smells.
Remus. Sirius doubts Remus still lived there. After all, he grew up in Wales. He only came here for University. He probably moved back there, else moved on with his life. There was nothing for him here. Perhaps there would have been, there could have been, if things had worked out differently, but they didn’t. Nonetheless, Sirius sits and watches for people entering and leaving the flat, just in case. There is no one. No one, in all of the time he sits there.
Eventually, there is a knock on his hotel door, one of the girls who seem so desperate to make friends, ignoring all his hints of wanting to be left alone. Begrudge, he drags himself down to dinner. He doesn’t see anyone he remembers there, because people don’t tend to stay in hotels in the towns they live in. Then he goes back to his room, hoping no one went to the flat whilst he was gone. He sits and watched the street until it gets dark.
Just as he’s about to pull himself away from the window, the door to the shop opens. The way to the flat. A figure steps out from the dull shaft of light. As they turn down the street, Sirius squints for a better look. He can’t tell who it is, but it’s not Remus. He can just tell.
He can’t decide how that makes him feel.