Kreacher forced the black potion down my throat. The black liquid slowly gliding down my tongue. The salty, grimy feeling would be over soon. My family was never religious but I prayed to a foreign God. The tears sprung from my eyes, my pleads on the tip of my tongue, never quite making it out of my throat. I could only lay there on my back as Kreacher reached for another scoop. He repeats 'there's only a little left.' I know he's lying, he said those exact words to me before. It feels like this pain will never leave me. This primal thirst. I want to rip out my throat and drink my own blood. Anything for something to quench my thirst. I was at my breaking point, I needed something to drink. Something dark tells me to kill Kreacher and drink his blood-No, I mustn't. I close my eyes. My damp eyelashes clumped together from all tears. The dampness of my face and snot running down my nose. I hadn't cried like this since I was a toddler. Perhaps I've never even cried this bad before now.
I force my eyes open. Staring at the disgustingly beautiful rocks on the ceiling of the cave. It makes me want to vomit up the potion even more. Except I don't. I finally am doing something good. Something I can be proud of. When this is all over I'll destroy the Horcrux and maybe, just maybe Sirius and I can reconcile. I won't be stuck to this fate anymore.
Kreacher says something I cannot identify in my state, I was too out of it. I think the potion is gone as he isnt feeding me that wretched liquid anymore. My head falls to the side. I spot the emerald glow of the lake. My my mind go blank, I only know one thing. The only thought on my mind is releasing myself and finally getting some water to drink. I use all my strength, slowly pull myself over to the lake. Water. Its just a few paces away now. I'm so close. I need to drink something. I force my arms to move, to push myself over to the lake, closing in on it. Finally I'm at the edge. I think I can hear Kreacher call out to me but it isn't important. I NEED water. I need something to relieve me of this thirst that takes up my mind.
I reach my hand out, my finger hovering above the surface. Something in the back of my mind makes me pause. Below the surface of the water it looks like a face, ready to pounce. Perhaps if my mind hadn't been so far gone I would've turned away. I would've known better and remembered that it wasn't just me and Kreacher in this cave, but alas I brush the thought aside. The feeling of need takes over me. Oh how I will live to regret it.
It happens in an instance. Thousands of hands reach out to me, pulling me under, hands gripping my neck, my arms, and my legs. They're restraining me dragging me down, farther and farther. Sharp finger-like blades rip my skin, blood mixing with once emerald water, now black and red. Its truth revealed to me.
My mouth opens gulping in a big mouth full of water. I swallow desperate to satisfy the thirst I had been plagued with. It works but I snap out of my daze. I now can realize the foolishness of my actions. Nail like claws tearing my skin. The pain almost knocking me out but I have to stay awake. I can not die. I need to destroy the Horcrux. The inferi pull me down, farther and farther. The light from the surface escapes my grasp. I try to fight the inferi but my muscles lock up. I cant move and I cant breathe.
It feels nice to know I tried doing something right but, I dont really want to die.
I have ambitions still I cant die. I want to reconnect with Sirius, I want to destroy the dark lord. I try to struggle once more and finally, I gain control of my limbs. I kick, I fight, I struggle. The nails ripping against my skin more heavily. Blood after blood forced out of my body into the lake. I try to rationalize my situation, I cant die. I think back onto all of my books. All of the spells I know. They're all useless now. I have no wand with me. In a desperate attempt to gain an explanation on why this situation is slipping out of my control I rationalize with books that I never thought I'd think about again. The books Andromeda, my sweat cousin, turned blood-traitor, would always read to me. Didnt the hero always get a happy ending? They finally beat the villain and come out on top? Didn't I do that? Except I'm not the hero of this story. Yes, I turned against the dark lord except, its not me who will bring down his fall. My heart aches with sorrow and regret.
I did what I was supposed to. I turned against the dark lord. I was supposed to be free from death. But, I'm still dying? My eyebrows crinkle. Why? Why am I still dying? I did what I was supposed to. Everything was going to work out. I was going to be fine. I would finally get my happy ending. After suffering through that house. I would be happy. I found the Horcrux. I was going to destroy it! But I'm still dying.
Thats-Thats not fair! My tears mixing with the water, mixing with my blood. I cease my struggling. The inferi slowly back off, one by one. At first I was confused. Then it dawns on me. Even without them pulling on me, I am not going to live.
The water fills up my lungs, expanding them. It burns my throat. It hurts. My mind blurs as does my vision. I know now that I cannot make it out of here. Perhaps if I was Gryfindor I would fight and attempt an escape. However I dont. I know better. Even if I fight and try to reach the surface I won't make it. There's no point. I won't be able to reach the top. I dont even have a wand to get out of the cave.
I didn't imagine myself dying in here. I truly wanted to live and be free from the dark lord. It dawns on me as I see my scratched out arm, where my mark used to lay. As soon as I had taken this mark, this wretched mark. I had sealed my fate. No one lives to get out of the dark lords grasp and live. As I fall deeper into the water, deeper into deaths arms. I relish in the thought of outsmarting the dark lord. Even if I dont live, part of his soul won't either. He will be mortal once more. Sirius will live even his friends whom I never liked. I suppose it was worth then.
Sirius will live a long, happy life.