oh remus
sirius watches as remus falls limp and everything stops.
“rem?” he gasps out, moving to shake his arm a little, heart hammering way too hard.
“moony this isn’t funny” he chuckles nervously, feeling sick by how fast his heart was beating
“REMUS” he shouts, drawing the attention of everyone in the room
he sees effie and monty move out of the corner of his eyes, but doesn’t focus on that for more than a second because remus won’t wake up.
“no no no no this can’t be real REMUS” he mumbles out, watching as monty moved to pick remus up
his head feels like it’s spinning around underwater as muffled sounds yell around him.
sirius
SIRIUS
“SIRIUS” he hears next to him, head clearing for just a second, and he turns quickly, eyes blurry as he tries to focus on the figure in front of him,
“SIRIUS” euphemia had tried again, attempting to gain her panicked child’s attention
she watched a the boy turned his head quickly, eyes filled with tears and unfocused as he tried to comprehend the situation.
effie realised if there was any chance of getting through to him, it was now.
“sirius. remus is okay, he passed out from the way he was hyperventilating, but he is out with monty and he is breathing, okay?” she spoke as calmly as possible,
sirius calmed slightly as he tried to register what she had said.
“remus is all good honey, and we can go see him when you’re feeling better” she spoke again, trying to give him a bit of incentive to calm down.
she though it was working for a second before she saw his eyes widen slightly, looking around the room frantically before staring at her, or more accurately, staring right through her.
“oh honey” she murmured , searching through her brain for the best thing to do now.
she turned her head to see james and regulus, the pair sitting on the counter, both taking what loooked like deliberate deep breaths,
“i’ll be just a moment sirius darling, i’m just going to grab some ice for you alright?” there was a distinct lack of reaction from the boy but euphemia knew that getting the ice was the best thing for him.
the older women stood and moved towards the freezer before grabbing a couple ice cubes.
over time euphemia had learnt that ice was one of the most effective ways of bringing sirius back to himself when he was having this kind of episode.
one likely caused by stress and shock as the trigger.
she watched as sirius stayed staring as she knelt herself down infront of him.
“sirius, i’m going to rub these onto your wrist for a moment okay hon?” he kept on staring
“and when you come back, you can keep doing it okay? here we go”
euphemia carefully took her boys hand in one of hers, as she used the other to carefully draw small soothing circles onto his other wrist with the ice.
he had flinched slightly at the contact, but was otherwise unresponsive. effie tried not to become too worried and continued with the ice, as sometimes it just took a while to register for him.
it took several minutes before anything else happend, which worried euphemia a lot, but she knew this just happens sometimes, and that her kid will get through it.
eventually, sirius’ breathing began to speed up from the slow puffs he had been breathing as he dissociated. effie sighed in relief, as this meant that sirius now was coming back to himself
“it’s alright sweetheart, keep coming back to us- it’s all okay. you’re doing such a good job” she encouraged softly, gazing around the room for a moment as she checked on her other boys who were quietly watching on from behind her.
effie’s gaze snaps back to sirius when she hears him choke on a deep breath. thankfully, as she looked into her sons eyes, she found them to be finally seeing her.
although panicked, she knew the worst of it was over, and she could help him more now.
“sirius darling-“ she starts, moving slightly backwards as to not overwhelm him, “deep breaths, remus is alright- everything is alright just breathe”
she wasn’t sure that he was understanding at that moment, but after a couple minutes of repeating herself and soothing the poor boy, he seemed to of caught his brain up with what had gone on.
eyes darting around the room he croaked out a single word, “where?”
euphemia understood immediately, smiling softly as she answers that he’s in the living room.
sirius stands quickly at her answer, wobbling only for a moment before running right back into the living room where they sat not long ago.
“moons!!” he gasps the moment his eyes fall on his crying boyfriend. quickly moving to kneel next to the couch where remus laid.
monty stood from where he was sitting and gestured to effie to follow him back into the kitchen, giving the two boys privacy as they held one another.
it had been three days since lyall had pushed into the potter manor and said the horrific things he had said, and remus wasn’t coping well.
he had barely eaten since the ordeal and had been practically chainsmoking his lungs away every chance he had.
remus found himself sitting on the mansions roof when his cigarette was plucked from between his fingers.
“oi!” he yelped, whipping his head about to see who had interrupted his smoke,
regulus stood a few paces infront of him, one hand gripping a roof tile for balance, and the other holding remus’ confiscated cigarette.
remus sent him an unimpressed look, “yes?” he huffed out eventually, reaching to pull another cig from his tattered jacket pocket, lighting it quickly - before taking a long drag out of pure spite. then blowing it out into the dark night sky.
regulus studied him carefully for a moment, his face blank as he watched the way his friends hands shook ever so slightly.
the way his eyes were sunken and red rimmed, with deep purple bags around them.
remus knew regulus was blunt, he alway had been as long as he knew him, but he couldn’t help the way he flinched, dropping his newly lit cigarette when regulus asked a simple question
“lupin”
“hm?”
“are you going to kill yourself?”
oh
remus coughed harshly, pressing his hands against his eyes before letting out a forced chuckle,
“gosh reg no, i- why would you think that ?”
a valiant attempt at denial.
the boy in question merely tilted his head, shrugging his shoulders as he carefully sat next to his brothers boyfriend, “you’re acting like i did when i wanted to die.”
and oh how that made remus feel nauseous. not just because remus remembers how hard everyone took it when regulus had admitted to being suicidal- but because he wouldn’t wish how he felt right now on anyone.
he must of been lost in his thoughts for a while, as he felt a gentle tap on his knee bring him back to himself.
“you should tell mrs potter” regulus murmured quietly to him, squeezing his hands together as he spoke.
remus held his breath as he tried not to cry at the boys words.
“i- i can’t” he croaked out eventually, a singular tear slipping down his cheek as regulus turned to face him again
“yes you can. she will help you make it better”
remus knew regulus was telling the truth, but he didn’t think he could ask anything more of the potters. he had already asked so much.
and well…..
“i don’t know if i want to feel better“
regulus studied him for another moment closely,
“then for my brother, he needs you”
remus thought it was quite unfair for him to say, but he knew regulus only spoke his mind.
“okay reg.. i’ll- i’ll try” he finally rushed out, gazing up at the night sky.
he watches regulus shuffle closer out the corner of his eyes,
“thanks” regulus starts, “and i guess sometimes you’re the only tolerable one here.. so”
remus felt a grin fall onto his face,
maybe it was worth a try.