chapter 2
September 2nd 1976 - Mary
It was the first day back at Hogwarts and because it was a Friday, they had an extended holiday before classes started again on Monday. Because of this, The Marauders were throwing a party.
“A party? Really, guys? It’s the first day back,” Lily looked at the boys in astonishment as they were decorating in the common room.
“Yeah, that’s why it’s a ‘back to school’ party,” Sirius said, pointing at the banner above him which had those words painted on it.
“Is Remus in charge of the music again?” Mary asked, sipping a cup of tea.
“Yeah, he has the best taste,” Sirius smiled.
Remus heard this and turned away immediately, Mary saw his cheeks turn red. They were in love, the pair of them. Why couldn’t they just admit it?
“As long as you include some ABBA, Rem, please,” Lily looked at Remus who was fiddling with the record player.
“Lily, ABBA? Seriously?”
“Yes! They’re actually really good, you just don’t want to let yourself admit it,” Lily folded her arms.
Remus sighed. “Fine. But it’s still mainly Bowie.”
“And Queen!” Sirius shouted.
“And Queen,” Remus agreed.
“What time does this thing start anyway?” Marlene wondered.
“Er- 6:30?” James said, hearing them.
“6- James that’s in an hour?” Mary said, gasping.
“Yeah?” James looked at her, confused.
“We need time to get ready, idiot. And you do too with your fancy muggle clothes and Sirius with his two-hour long hair routine,” Mary exclaimed.
“It’s not two hours! Maybe one and a half,” Sirius rolled his eyes.
“Wait- have you even sent out invites yet?” Lily asked, tearing away from her book.
“Oh- fuck. Pete, can you come here for a second?” James yelled to Peter who was across the room, putting up a disco ball.
“Yeah, what’s up?” Peter said, walking over to them.
“Can you send the invites out?”
“Who are we inviting?”
“Er- Hufflepuffs, Ravenclaws, and Gryffindors, all 5th years and above,” James said.
“Great, we can sneak in some firewhisky then,” Peter smirked.
“James, we are prefects!” Lily screeched.
“I did not just hear what Peter said. Pete, did you say something? No? That’s alright then, invite the 5th years and above,” James grinned.
“Potter,” Lily growled.
“Lily, it’s the first day back. I know you wanna get hammered too,” Mary put her hands on her hip.
“I mean- yeah- but-” Mary cut her off.
“No but’s. We’ll have fun, trust me,” Mary smiled.
Lily gave in and Peter began writing invitations.
“Pete, why are you writing so many individual ones? Just use a duplicate charm,” Lily said.
“Right, I completely forgot we were at Hogwarts. I’ve had to do everything like a muggle over the summer,” Peter smiled.
“We’re not inviting the Slytherins?” Marlene realized.
“We never do,” Mary looked at her, quizzically.
“Yeah but- Never mind,” Marlene said.
“I mean- we can invite a few select ones?” James said.
Marlene stared at him. “Who?”
James thought about it. “Like the nice ones in our year. I know there’s that Garcia kid who isn’t too bad, there’s also Meadowes-” Marlene choked on her tea.
“Are you alright?” Mary had a hunch what was going on.
Marlene liked someone, and she was pretty sure it was Meadowes. Dorcas Meadowes. Dorcas was a beautiful girl, no wonder she did. But Mary had always thought they hated each other, they were quidditch rivals.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Sorry James, who else?”
“We could- er- we could invite- never mind, they’re not- nothing. Yeah, I’m out of ideas,” James stuttered.
“Okay...” Marlene looked at him strangely.
“Pete, d’you know any Slytherins we can invite that are fairly nice?” James put his arm around his friend who was magicking up invitations.
Peter nodded. “Yeah, there’s a few in mind. If we invite Dorcas though, she’s probably going to bring Regulus and his friends.”
James’s eyes grew wide. “Er- Sirius wouldn’t want that, I don’t think.”
Marlene sighed as Sirius walked over to them.
“Sirius wouldn’t want what?” He raised his eyebrows at James.
“If- er- Regulus was at the party,” James said, slowly.
Sirius’s face hardened. “No, of course Sirius wouldn’t want that. No fucking way is he being here.”
Mary could tell Marlene grew slightly sad, but she understood. They all did. Sirius left Grimmauld, he escaped. Regulus made his choice, he was a Slytherin, he was the heir of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black.
“So we’re not inviting Dorcas then? Should we just do no Slytherins like always?” Peter asked.
“Yeah,” Sirius said, making his way to Remus.
He seemed upset about the conversation, of course he would. Mary’s heart ached for him, and realized it had been a while since they had caught up together.
She spotted him talking to Remus and decided that they should go on a walk together.
“Hey, Siri. Come with me,” Mary linked Sirius’s arm around hers.
Remus clenched his jaw, and Mary was a bit taken aback.
“Er- sure. Where?” Sirius wondered.
“On a walk, we’ll be back in like 20 for you to have enough time to do your hair,” Mary laughed, playfully.
“Shut up,” Sirius rolled his eyes and waved a bye to Remus.
“So, how’ve you been Black?” Mary smiled, once they had exited the common room.
“Alright, MacDonald. You?”
“Great, thanks. Who do you think you’ll end up with by the end of tonight?” Mary raised her eyebrows.
“Mmm, good question. D’you know what? I think I might just spend tonight with the lads.” Sirius responded, leading her to the courtyard.
“Really? Sirius Black isn’t going to shove his tongue down a girl’s throat?” Mary smirked.
“Oh shut up. And no, he isn’t. He might, if the gorgeous lady next to him is up to it?” Sirius asked, jokingly.
“No way. Been there, done that. Definitely don’t need to do it again.”
“Oi, c’mon! I wasn’t that bad.”
“Well…” Mary said, begging to differ.
Sirius huffed as Mary let out a laugh.
“Okay, you weren’t that bad. We’re just better off- not- shagging. Y’know?”
“Yeah, trust me, I know. I feel like- I like someone, Mary,” Sirius looked extremely pleased with himself for being able to say that.
Mary tried her best not to roll her eyes. “Who do you like, Sirius?”
“I can’t say,” Sirius sighed. “If I say it, it’s real.”
Mary nodded, she understood.
“I want it to be real, I just don’t think-” Sirius hesitated, "they do.”
“You’ll never know if you don’t try it. If you don’t take that leap, the leap that’s necessary,” Mary said, expressly.
Sirius sighed again. “I know that, I’m just scared, I guess.”
“It’s okay to feel scared, just don’t let it control you. Don’t run away from your feelings because you’re scared, yeah?”
“Yeah,” Sirius said, giving Mary a weak smile. “Anyway, what about you?”
“What about me?”
“Who do you like?” Sirius questioned.
Mary shrugged. “Merlin, I don’t know. I just broke up with Tom” Sirius raised his eyebrow, “My muggle boyfriend. He was an arsehole and I guess I don’t feel like going through that again.”
“Yeah, I get that. But there’s absolutely no guy that’s catching your eye?
“Nope,” Mary thought about it. She didn’t like any guy, despite her previously having millions of crushes.
“Well, I think that it’s great. Go you, taking a break from horrendous men,” Sirius chuckled.
“Thank you, thank you,” Mary shook her head, grinning.
They continued chatting with one another, until they decided to go back to get ready for the party. Once they entered the portrait hole, Mary and Sirius said quick goodbyes and Mary rushed up to her dorm to pick an outfit.
“Mary! Quick, help me pick what to wear,” Marlene said, dragging Mary into the room and shutting the door behind her.
“Okay, do you have options?” Mary asked.
“Er- was I supposed to?”
“You are hopeless,” Mary joked, but peered into Marlene’s wardrobe.
“I was thinking about those jeans maybe?” Marlene said, pointing at a pair of faded denim jeans.
“No, they’re too skinny, it’s the bell bottoms that are cool at the moment. Here, you have a pair,” Mary said, lifting a pair of dark bell bottoms.
“Okay, what top do I wear?” Marlene rummaged around her wardrobe.
Mary eyed a tank top with the band Queen on it, and threw it at Marlene.
“This, it’s perfect,” Mary smiled.
Marlene’s face lit up. “Yeah?”
“Yeah. Wear your hair down and put on some eyeliner, you’ll have all the women swooning at your feet.”
“I love you Mare,” Marlene gave Mary a hug. “I can’t believe you’re actually nice sometimes.”
Mary laughed and returned the hug, “I love you too.”
“Oi, you saps,” Lily said, entering their dorm. “How’s this?”
She was wearing a white and blue floral dress, that looked like it was made for her body. It wrapped around her curves so elegantly, showing off the freckles on her thighs. Her hair was let down, in gorgeous beach waves. The auburn curls resting on her exposed shoulders. She was wearing mascara, perfectly accenting her emerald eyes. Her cheeks were pink, like her lips. They looked so soft, and Mary felt light-headed. What was going on? She’d seen Lily at parties before, why was this any different?
Marlene gasped, “You look stunning, Lils. The dress is perfect!”
“It’s perfect. Just perfect,” Mary managed to let out.
“Thanks, guys,” Lily seem really pleased, struggling to hide her smile.
“Of course! Okay, I need to change,” Marlene said, walking to the loo.
“Aren’t you gonna change too, Mare?” Lily wondered.
“Yeah, I am. I think I’ll go with this skirt, what do you think?” Mary asked Lily, showing her a short, sequined shirt.
“It looks great! Ooh, you should wear that one black top you have with it. You know the off-the-shoulder cropped one?”
“Oh, yeah!” Mary showed her the top, and Lily nodded.
“That’s the one,” Lily smiled. “Alright, you change in here, I’ll head down to the common room to see if I can help with any last minute things.”
“Okay, cool, me and Marls’ll see you down in a bit.”
They waved to each other as Mary began getting ready. Her hair was in plaits over the summer, but she had let her hair out the night before school started. She put on her clothes and thought that her chest was quite accented, she hated it. As much as everyone thought she embraced her femininity, she was scared of it. She was scared of the slurs people shouted at her, the sexual remarks older men would make. She hated the fact that people would stare at her chest, and bore eyes into her back and make her feel like she was a zoo animal on display. Sighing, Mary pulled her top up as much as she could. It was fine, she was going to a party in the common room, her safe space. She had friends that’d kill for her, it would be alright.
Marlene came out of the bathroom, looking like a rockstar’s girlfriend and Mary was incredibly proud of her outfit help. They did their makeup together, and once they were done, headed down to the common room.
The area was already packed with people dancing, chatting, and having a good time. There was a snacks table, filled with items from Honeydukes and a bowl of punch that Mary was excited to try. ‘Don’t stop me now’ by Queen was playing in the background, and Mary couldn’t lie that Remus did actually have great taste.
“Lily!” Mary spotted the red-headed girl talking to Pandora Lestrange, a Ravenclaw 5th year that was in their Potions class.
Pandora and Regulus were in their class because they were both extremely advanced at the subject.
Lily’s eyes grew wide at the sight of Mary, and Mary looked down at herself, wondering if there was anything wrong.
“What?” Mary asked.
“Nothing- you- you look really nice,” Lily stammered.
“Thanks!” Mary smiled, her insides felt gooey. What the fuck?
“Hi, Mary,” Pandora smiled.
“Hi, Pandora. Are you enjoying the party?” Mary asked, politely.
“Yeah, it’s really nice. I wish some of the Slytherins were invited though, they’re kinda the only people I talk to.”
Lily nodded, “Yeah, I know. It’s just a hard subject for some of us, you know with the muggle-born targets and Gryffindor bullying and everything.”
“I totally get that,” Pandora said.
“Ooh, guess what we’re brewing in Potions on Monday?” Lily grinned.
“What?” Pandora asked, and Mary was about to walk away. She didn’t really want to talk about school at a party.
“Amortentia,” Lily replied, as Mary froze.
She’d heard about it, it was the most powerful love potion to exist. It smelt like whatever you love, and Mary was was curious as to what she’d smell, but thought it’d be quite embarrassing.
“That’s so interesting, I can’t wait!” Pandora gleamed.
“I know right? It’s such a complex potion though, I hope we get it right,” Lily thought.
“Oh yeah, it’s going to be quite tricky. But with Regulus as my partner, I’m sure we’ll have it done quickly,” Pandora chuckled.
“He’s really talented at the subject,” Lily said, continuing to make conversation.
Mary waved a quick bye and decided to slip into the crowd. She felt a bit out of place, for some strange reason. Immediately, she knew what would make her feel better and decided to get a cup of the punch.
She began to pour herself a drink and was met with an already tipsy Sirius, whose arm swung around her shoulder.
“Hi, Maryyy,” He drawled.
“Well hello there. You’ve drank quite a bit, haven’t you?” Mary forgot how much of a lightweight Sirius was.
“No, not really. Are you drinking too?” Sirius hiccuped.
“Yeah, what’s in the punch?” Mary asked.
“A bunch of firewhisky and then like other stuff.”
“Uh-huh,” Mary said, bringing the cup to her lips and sipping the liquid.
It burned her throat but made her feel extremely warm and she liked the fruity taste to it.
“It’s good, right?” Sirius smiled.
“Yeah, it’s good.”
Suddenly, ‘Dancing Queen’ by ABBA started playing.
“OH MY GOD MARY, LET’S DANCE! I LOVE THIS SONG,” Sirius yelled.
“You- you like ABBA?” Mary was dumbstruck.
“Yeah, I’m a dancing queen, Mary,” Sirius said, acting shocked Mary didn’t know.
Mary snorted but let him lead her to the dance floor, where Lily, James and Marlene were.
You can dance, you can jive. Having the time of your life.
They were having the time of their lives, screaming to the lyrics. Peter joined them as they held hands and jumped up and down to the music.
Ooh, see that girl
Watch that scene
Diggin’ the dancing queen
Sirius walked over to Remus who was guarding the record player.
Over the music, he shouted, “Moony, let’s go. I’ll cast a protective charm around the records. Dance with me!”
Remus begrudgingly followed him, shocked that he was about to dance to an ABBA song.
Despite that, he knew the lyrics and joined in as they began to sang the first verse.
Friday night and the nights are low
Looking out for a place to go
Where they play the right music
Getting in a swing
You come to look for a king
Sirius stood up on one of the tables and held up his fist like it was a microphone. Mary visibly cringed, drunk Sirius was definitely something.
Anybody could be that guy
Night is young and the music’s high
With a bit of rock music
Everything is fine
You’re in the mood for a dance
Mary twirled Lily around, they smiled at each other.
And when you get the chance
They all prepared for the chorus, ready to sing their heart out.
You are the dancing queen
Young and sweet
Only seventeen
The firewhisky mixed with the loud music had Mary feel like she was floating, in the best way possible. Here she was with her friends, having the time of her life. And she loved it.
Dancing queen
Feel the beat on the tambourine, oh yeah
You can dance
You can jive
Having the time of your life
Sirius pulled Mary up onto the table and everyone’s eyes were on her. But her eyes were on Lily. Their eyes were locked and Mary felt shivers running down her spine, even though she was warm at the same time.
See that girl
Watch that scene
Diggin’ the dancing queen
The lyrics continued and they finished singing the song. Everyone was out of breath and high on the feelings of youth.
***
“Lily!” Mary stumbled towards Lily who was lying down on one of the common room sofas.
The party was long over but a lot of Mary’s friends were still occupying the space, too exhausted and pissed to move.
“Hi, Mare,” Lily lifted her hand, attempting to wave but she was too tired to actually move it.
Mary fought back a laugh. “You need to go back to the room.”
“Why?” Lily pouted.
“Because,” Mary slurred, “You are sleepy.”
“Am not!” Lily exclaimed.
“Are too,” Mary folded her arms.
“Ugh, fine,” Lily hiccuped as she stood up and walked to the dorm with Mary.
They had to hold on to each other to support themselves. When they got there, Marlene’s bed was empty.
“Why is Marlene always gone?” Lily frowned.
“I have no clue,” Mary replied. “She might be downstairs.”
“Good point,” Lily yawned.
“I’m going to have a killer headache tomorrow,” Mary groaned as she lifted her top over her shoulders.
Lily’s eyes widened and nodded. “Killer headache.”
“What is it?” Mary caught her taken aback expression.
“Nothing,” Lily turned around.
“What?” Mary realized her bra was visible. “You always see me change.”
“It’s different now,” Lily sighed and plopped herself on her bed.
“Why?” Mary asked, curiously.
“Because you’re really pretty,” Lily’s voice trembled.
Butterflies fluttered in Mary’s stomach. She was too drunk for this.
“Thank you?” Mary whispered, sitting next to Lily.
“Why are you whispering?” Lily asked, talking in a hushed voice herself.
Mary shrugged. “I don’t know.”
Lily smiled, and Mary felt her heart skip a beat.
“I can see your freckles, I can even count them,” Random words tumbled out of Mary’s mouth.
“So count them,” Lily urged.
Mary traced her finger around Lily’s freckles, joining up the dots. She murmured out numbers as she went.
Lily visibly shivered when Mary reached the number ten, because her finger made contact with Lily’s skin.
“What happened? Is my finger cold?” Mary asked.
“No, it’s warm. You’re so warm, Mare,” Lily spoke.
Mary didn’t know what to say to that so she just tucked a strand of Lily’s ginger hair behind her ear. Just then, Mary realized how close Lily’s face was to her. She could just lean in and-
Lily pressed her lips against Mary’s, and it was like fireworks went off. Puzzle pieces were put together, blinding colors of yearning flew through Mary’s head. She was kissing Lily. Her hands snaked up Lily’s back and up into her hair, pulling her in for more. She needed more, but everything was enough. They continued to snog, hearts swelling with joy and passion. Mary soon came to her senses and realized what she was doing, it was Lily . Pulling away, they both gasped, lungs searching for air around the room.
Mary stared at Lily once their breathing returned to normal. She was so beautiful. Her cheeks were flushed, her lips were parted and her freckles. Her freckles .
“Shit,” Lily said, distracting Mary’s train of thought.
“What?” Mary asked.
“We snogged,” Lily’s mouth was still open.
“Yeah, and it was lovely. You are lovely,” Mary couldn’t believe it, everything was gorgeous in that moment.
“Thank you, Mare,” Lily chuckled.
“Anytime, Lils,” Mary yawned.
Lily remembered it was probably 4 in the morning. “We need to sleep.”
“Shouldn’t we change first?”
“Nah, just come into bed with me,” Lily said, lying down and lifting up the duvet for Mary to sneak in.
“Alright,” Mary smiled and sunk into the mattress beneath her.
Lily’s arms slowly wrapped around Mary’s and they fell asleep, soundly, feeling endless amounts of happiness.
***
Birds sung outside the window, as Mary opened her eyes. Light flew into her view, sending shooting pains across her forehead. Wincing, she became aware of her surroundings. Fucking hell. She was half naked in Lily’s bed. Of course she was.
Slowly, she stepped out and made her way to the loo, not wanting to wake Lily. She brushed her teeth and washed her face, despite her head throbbing an insane amount. Once she was done, Mary took a painkiller, in hopes to reduce the hangover pains.
She quietly left the dorm and headed to the common room, wanting to help clean up. As she walked down the stairs, she tried to remember what happened the night before. Mary remembered screaming to Dancing Queen, taking firewhisky shots with Sirius, braiding Pandora’s hair, accidentally knocking Remus into a bowl of crisps, finding Lily on the couch and- shit. Shit. Everything was shit. The memories of kissing Lily flooded into her mind as her head began to spin, and not because she was massively hung over.
Mary reached the common room, and scanned it to see any of her friends. Peter was sleeping on an armchair, his legs sticking out and his hair extremely unruly. Sirius was hogging an entire sofa, sprawled across it, snoring softly. She had no clue where Marlene, James, or Remus were, and sighed in hopelessness.
Mary needed to talk to someone, she felt like she was going to burst.
Ignoring the nervous pit in her stomach, Mary began to vanish rubbish lying on the floor, muttering low incantations.
“Mary,” A voice came from behind her, and Mary spun around.
Her brown eyes met green, and frantic chills rushed down Mary’s body.
“Lily,” Mary managed to utter out.
“You remember, I can see it in your face,” Lily whispered, stepping forward.
Mary so desperately wanted to step back, but her legs were holding her down. She was frozen in place.
“Yeah, I do.”
“What now?” Lily muttered.
Mary swallowed.
What now? She had just kissed her best friend and she had liked it. Friends don’t kiss friends and enjoy it. Mary didn’t even know she fancied girls, let alone Lily. Her Lily. If they attempted anything, their friendship would be ruined. Mary couldn’t let that happen.
“It was a mistake, Lily. I didn’t mean to. We’re friends. I don’t even fancy girls, I didn’t think you did,” Mary’s heart broke with every word that came out of her mouth.
Lily’s face fell, and Mary wanted to hug her. She wanted to kiss her sadness away, holding her close. But she couldn’t do that.
“Yeah, I know. I don’t fancy girls. It was a mistake,” Lily repeated.
Mary gave her a weak smile, Lily didn’t return it.
“We were pissed out of our minds, yeah?” Mary blurted.
Lily nodded, “Yeah.”
Just then, Marlene entered the common room. Her hair was a mess, she was carrying her shoes, and her neck was covered in several hickeys.
Mary’s eyes widened, “Marls, what the hell?”
Marlene just shrugged, “What?”
“You- your neck! Who did you shag?” Lily exclaimed, in surprise.
“Shh!” Marlene gave her a look. “Come here, I’ll tell you.”
They went to the stairwell, where no-one was around.
“I was with someone,” Marlene started.
“Yeah, no shit?” Mary said, quizzically.
“It was a girl.”
“Marlene, stop pointing out the bloody obvious. You wouldn’t have been with a guy. Who was it?” Lily rolled her eyes.
“Merlin, you’re snappy, aren’t you?” Marlene laughed.
Lily just glared at her.
“Alright, gosh. I was with-” Marlene hesitated,”Dorcas.”
Mary grinned, “I knew it! Oh, Marlene, I’m so happy for you.”
“That’s so amazing, Marls,” Lily smiled.
Marlene chuckled back at her friends, “Thanks, guys.”
“Was she good?” Mary raised her eyebrows.
“We didn’t like fully do anything, but she was so nice. It was just snogging. A lot of snogging,” Marlene sighed, dreamily.
“Yeah, we can tell,” Mary nodded at her neck.
“Shit, I need to cover it up,” Marlene said.
Lily made the purple lovebites on her neck disappear instantly, with just a wave of her wand.
“Woah, where’d you learn that?” Marlene asked.
“You never know when you might need it,” Lily winked.
The butterflies returned to Mary’s stomach. This could not be happening.
“Right, who’s down for some breakfast?” Mary called out, a bit too loud.
“Er- sure. Let’s go,” Marlene responded.
The three girls made their way to the Great Hall, bumping into Remus who was just leaving.
“Hey Remus,” Marlene waved.
“Morning,” Remus smiled.
“Rem, library at 2?” Lily asked.
“Sure,” Remus replied.
They said bye to Remus and sat down on the Gryffindor table.
“Seems like we’re a bit late, mail’s waiting for us,” Marlene said, stretching her arms.
Mary picked up the few letters that were to her.
There was a promotional one from Witch Weekly, one from her parents, and a couple of letters from students, most being date invites. Mary had always ignored those, preferring it when she was asked out physically. But for some reason, Mary felt the need to prove something to herself.
She felt Lily’s eyes on her as she looked at the senders of the letters. One was from Dirk Cresswell, Mary rolled her eyes. He was definitely not into women. The second one was from Mulciber, a form of hate mail. She picked it up and set it on fire, ash clouding the table.
“Mary, what are you doing?” Marlene was a bit weirded out.
Mary forgot she wasn’t alone for a minute. “Er- burning a letter. It’s from Mulciber so…y’know.”
Marlene hummed as Mary looked at the final letter.
It was from Rahul Patil. He was a Gryffindor in the year above them and was quite fit. She opened it and read the contents:
Dear Mary,
You’re one of the prettiest girls I’ve ever seen. I couldn’t stop eyeing you at the party, and am quickly scribbling this up because I feel an insane connection to you.
Would you make me incredibly happy and go out with me, today? I have a really cool picnic planned that I would love to experience with you.
Let me know,
Rahul.
Mary didn’t really know what she was doing when she conjured a quill and parchment, replying to Rahul’s letter with a yes. She purposely hid what she was saying so Marlene and Lily didn’t see, but felt quite sick in her stomach.
Nonetheless, she sent her reply with Marlene’s owl, sighing to herself.
“What was that?” Lily stared at her.
“Oh, the letter?” Mary felt her nerves growing.
“No, the owl,” Lily rolled her eyes. “Yes, the letter.”
“Nothing, it’s just private stuff.”
“Private stuff?” Marlene spoke up.
“Yes, private. Do you guys know what that means?” Mary snapped.
“Yeah but-” Marlene was cut off.
“It’s private, so drop it,” Mary felt absolutely wretched, and she didn’t know why. She glanced at the food resting on the table, and realized that her appetite was non-existent.
Mary stood up.
“Where are you going?” Marlene raised her eyebrows.
“Away,” Mary responded, beginning to walk.
Marlene looked at her, worriedly, “But you haven’t eaten yet?”
“Not hungry,” Mary said.
She continued to walk, but turned her head and managed to catch a bit of her friends’ conversation.
“What’s up with her?” Marlene sighed.
Lily just shrugged and Mary cursed in her head.
She was right. Everything was ruined.
***
Mary was returning to the Common Room from her date with Rahul. He was a really sweet guy, and was quite funny as well. The picnic went great, apart from the fact that she felt like she was committing a crime the whole way through.
Once they entered the portrait hole, Rahul pulled Mary close to him. But, there were more than a dozen eyes on them, and Mary felt slightly uncomfortable.
“Mary, I loved today,” Rahul began, and Mary could feel his breath on her face.
“Me too,” Mary mumbled.
“Do you- could- would you want to be my girlfriend?” Rahul stuttered out.
There were “say yes” chants around them, why was he asking her in front of everyone? In the corner of her eye, she was Sirius smirking at her. Remus was also there, peering at her, strangely. She saw more familiar faces, the chants grew louder and louder-
“Yes,” Mary breathed out.
Rahul kissed her, and it was soft and slow. There was no heat like there was last night, when she was with Lily. Lily . An attractive man was snogging her, and all she could think about was her best friend.
Mary pulled away, out of breath.
Rahul grinned at her, and everyone in the room cheered.
Mary turned around, blushing. She felt quite bashful. As she did this, Mary immediately went rigid.
Lily was surveying her, with an undetectable emotion sprawled across her face. The red-headed girl spun around, and sprinted to the stairwell, disappearing behind it, and Mary felt like screaming.
Mary wanted to run to Lily, to tell her that she had fucked up and the only person she wanted to snog was her.
‘Fuck’, Mary swore, silently.
She turned back to Rahul, and mumbled a quick ‘bye’.
Mary ran upstairs and into her dorm room. Lily was sitting on the foot of her bed, quietly.
“What do you want?” Lily asked, not looking up.
‘You’, Mary wanted to say, “I want you.”
But instead, she said, “The letter was er- a date reply.”
“Yeah, I figured,” Lily said, rudely.
Mary felt tears stinging in her eyes, a lump building in her throat.
“Er- it’s nice outside,” Mary blurted out, feeling quite foolish.
“What?” Lily gave her a look that made Mary feel like sobbing.
“I don’t know,” Mary said, quietly.
“Well figure it out, and then come to disturb me,” Lily stood up, glaring at her.
Mary took a step forward, but Lily flinched and moved away.
‘Lily hates me’, Mary thought, and her heart began to sink.
“What are you doing?” Lily’s eyes pierced into Mary’s.
“I just- I wanted to talk to you,” Mary explained, her voice shaky.
Lily walked towards Mary, but this time, Mary moved back, until her back was against the door.
Their faces were extremely close to one another, and Mary didn’t know if they were about to kiss again. She could see the freckles her hands touched less than 24 hours ago. However, Lily’s face looked like the definition of bitter, and Mary was slightly scared.
“Well, I don’t. So fuck off,” Lily’s voice was laced with something Mary couldn’t decipher.
Lily pushed Mary slightly, so that she wasn’t blocking the door, and opened it. She stepped out, slamming it in Mary’s face.
Mary cringed at the loud noise, registering the fact that she was alone in the room.
She fell back onto her bed, and let the tears run down her face, knowing that the only way she’d feel comfort was if Lily was in her arms.