Aftermath
This loneliness makes me feel like my heart is shattering into a million fucking pieces at once but, the more my heart shatters the more I don't regret it.
I feel free like a flag blowing in the wind leaving behind someone I never was or will be, it was the best decision in my life.
Yes, maybe I'm alone, but I'm myself. I'm free, I'm finally free.
——————————————————————
Anxiety, as I walk into the great hall for lunch I touch my face. I feel as if I may have something on my face.
Is everyone staring at me? Why is everyone staring at me? WHY IS EVERYONE STARING AT ME?
a hand touches my shoulder breaking me out of panic, I look around, but no one is really looking at me. Then I remember the hand on my shoulder, I look up from the hand and see James Potter.
“So do you want to sit with us?” he questioned.
“Uhm ..are you sure?” I mumbled.
“Positive!” he cheers, grabbing my hand and dragging me to the table.
He sits down,
“Lads, this is Charlotte,” James quickly explained “She's gonna sit with us!” he looked over at me “Are you going to sit?”
“I- uh, you know what, sure” I agreed sitting down.
“Great!”
As I got lost in my own world James and his friends started to talk excitedly, I looked around noticing one boy with a bit of long black hair and gray eyes, another with sandy brown hair and scars across his face, and the last with brown hair and a big grin,
Sirius, Remus, and Peter?
I think those are their names. Actually, I know those names. It hits me suddenly who I'm actually sitting with, the marauders.
—--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
As I sit down with them, I wonder, why is he trying? Why am I trying?
I mean surely he wants something.. Who in their right mind would be so kind to a stranger who bumped into them?
See, that's the thing, I don't think James is in his right mind.
I mean right now he's very oblivious staring with love eyes at regulus black, Sirius's brother.
Is he trying to get killed? I think to myself with a smirk playing on my lips.
“What are you laughing at?'' Sirius black asks curiously.
I almost want to say “Maybe keep an eye on James and your brother, who knows what could fucking happen” but James let me sit here.
So instead I conclude with the explanation,
“I don't know. Probably the fact I no longer have to-” and then I see them.
My smirk instantly dropped. My eyes slowly follow them, like a dog and a treat.
Sirius follows my glance, landing on a group of glaring teens.
“Erm I got to go,” I say a little louder and quicker than intended.
“Wait are you okay?'' Sirius asks, trying not to draw too much attention.
For someone who can't recognize what's going on between James and Regulus, he knows how to pay attention.
“Yeah, I'm great,” I said with a slight smile, “see you later James.”
He doesn't break his gaze on Regulus, simply nodding.
I don't think he realizes it is me who said it.
Whatever I think as I speed walk away sparing one last glance at my fri- um ex-friends.
God damn it. I'm screwed.
—------- $$$
I sit under the willow tree, the branches sway like the girls with the ponytails passing by.
I can't believe I'm not over this stupid friendship.
Stupid
Stupid.
Stupid!
I groan as I shove my face into my hands.
Maybe I'm not as free as I thought I was.
However, I can't let this get to me.
They're are idiots for letting me go, for letting... letting,
that happen.
They promised me the world, they said they'd always look after me.
And I didn't know what to say. I never felt happier.
But they broke that promise.
And I hope they regret it.
I will forever be scared of his hands touching me.
He said no one would have to know.
I thought otherwise, as I screamed for help.
They heard, I know they did.
But they didn't protect me. like they promised.
Why
Why?
Why!?
—---------$$$
I walk down the corridor, robes swooshing behind.
I spot James sitting with the rest of his gang, either there or with them.
I choose the latter.
“Hey” James waves as I sit down