Chapter Four
“Did I do something wrong?” James heard Harry ask. He was lucky enough to hear Remus’ response of, “Of course not, carw bach. He just wouldn’t wish you to hear that in a million years and the fact that you heard it repeatedly last year isn’t a pleasant thought for any of us, most of all him.”
James loved Remus. Truly, he doesn’t know how he would’ve dealt with everything had Remus not been there for him throughout it all. He always knows the right thing to say when it comes to Harry, and how he’s feeling and honestly, James is so fucking glad that Remus has never once let him down.
James made his way in the woods, promptly turned into Prongs, and started running head first into trees. He had learned about how this helps him with anger in the sixth year when his parents died and he was angry with everyone and everything. So ever since then, whenever he was too angry to deal with the world, he would turn into Prongs and headbutt trees. Maybe it wasn’t the best way to deal with it, but it was better than lashing out at the people he loves and cares about.
After a while he could tell that his head and antlers were becoming red and raw. He couldn’t feel pain in his antlers but he knew that when he transformed back he would be in pain, he’d have a huge headache and possibly a few spots on his head that would be bleeding, but again, he doesn’t know how much he’s beaten his antlers this time. No matter how many times he does this, no matter how many times he’s chipped parts of the antlers off, the next time he transformed, they would be back to how they usually were. It was very strange.
Knowing that he would be worse for wear when he transformed back, James decided to get as close as he could to his house before transforming back. Once he was fully James again, not Prongs at all, he felt a rush of nausea wash over him and he had to grab onto the railing that was next to him to make sure he didn’t fall. Maybe he had done more damage than he had meant to because his head was throbbing as well.
“What the fuck did you do James?” Remus cursed, moving as quickly as he could to help James stay up. “You were just swaying. How hard did you hit the trees?”
“I can’t tell when I’m Prongs,” he said, the throbbing finally subsiding a bit. “Haven’t I told you that before?”
“No!” Remus snapped. “You haven’t! What the fuck? You can’t feel pain when you’re transformed? You’re never coming with me on a moon again.” He was grumbling about it the entire time as he helped James up the stairs to make sure that he didn’t fall straight on his arse.
“Pads!” Remus shouted, making Sirius run into the kitchen, followed by Mary who was trying, and succeeding pretty well, to hold the children behind her so that they couldn’t see what was happening. James’ heart warmed at the sight of her trying her hardest to keep his son from seeing this. He hadn’t thought it was going to be as bad as it turned out to be, but oh well. You live and you learn. “I need you to get 2 of my extra strength migraine tylenols and a blood replenisher. Oh, and gauze.”
“Okay,” he said, immediately apparating, despite the wards that are placed on the property. He truly was an extraordinary wizard.
“Beth ddigwyddodd?” Mary asked.
“Roedd yn bod yn idiot iawn ac anghofiodd roi'r gorau i dorri coed pan oedd yn teimlo ei gyrn yn amrwd,” Harry mumbled, as he finally pushed his way past Mary and saw his father. “Nid yw siarad mewn iaith yr ydych yn ei siarad yn gweithio pan fyddaf yn ei siarad hefyd.
“Okay, you so lied to me about how much welsh he knows,” Mary accused Remus. “But you’re right Harry, I’m sorry.” Harry looked surprised at this but just nodded.
“Has he done this before?” Remus asked, finally realising what Harry had said.
“Yeah but he’s never needed a blood replenisher, only tylenol,” he said, shrugging. “And he can usually walk on his own without swaying,” he glared at his father. “Nid ef yw'r callaf weithiau.” Mary snorted.
“The more time I spend with you the more I like you,” Mary said, glancing at Harry. He just smiled at her.
“Okay, no more insulting your father Harry,” Remus said, sighing as if he shouldn’t have to say it in the first place which he probably shouldn’t have had to.
“Is that what he was saying?” James asked, color finally coming back to his face. “I can ground you. Remember that.”
“Ahh but you can’t,” Harry rebutted. “I could just use the past year as an excuse for acting out,” he smirked.
“Dameer caqli badan,” James grumbled.
“Rude,” he muttered.
“So,” James started. It had been about three hours since James’ little ‘incident’ and he was finally feeling normal again, so it was time for a conversation. “Mary, I was wondering, and you can always say no, if you’d like to stay with us for a while. Not because I don’t believe you are capable of joining the wizarding world again by yourself or anything, but because I think it’ll make everything easier. You could start with just being around us again, and then you could move on to going to Diagon Alley, and such. What do you think?” Mary was looking at him in shock. “Oh, and you’d obviously be getting to know Harry better as well, but that’s just a given.”
“You want me to stay with you?” She asked, seemingly struggling with the concept.
“Yes?” James replied, sharing a confused glance with Remus. “That is what I just proposed to you, is it not–”
“You genuinely aren’t upset with me for leaving?” James’ eyes widened in comprehension.
“Of course not,” he said genuinely. “You did what you needed to. Was it my favorite situation? Obviously not. But you chose the best course of action for yourself, how could I be upset with that? Mary, you are, or at least you were, one of our best friends. I always wanted the best for you and I still do. That’s why I’m offering–” Mary got up and hugged him fiercely.
In the years she was gone, Mary had forgotten a lot. She had forgotten how good of a person James Potter was. He would always offer his home up to someone who needed a new one, or even someone who didn’t, as he was in this case. She knew that he didn’t need to offer anything to her, nothing whatsoever, but he thought that it was the best thing for her, so of course he offered it to her, that was just who James Potter was. He was the good one out of them all. His heart was never competing with anyone to be the best, it always just was.
She had forgotten how comforting James’ hugs were. She had forgotten how Remus and James combined could always make a person feel welcomed. She had forgotten how bad Sirius could make a person feel with just one look. She had forgotten how much she had loved the people in the room with her. She had forgotten how it felt to have people truly care for her and wish her the best.
“Are you okay?” James asked her quietly, her hair muffling his voice a good bit.
“I’m perfect,” she replied. “I’d love to stay with you if you’ll have me.”
“Well I wouldn’t have offered it if I wouldn’t have you,” James joked, letting go of her, only when she let go of him. God, had Mary missed these people.
“I guess I’ll stay with you for a while,” she said jokingly, wiping a tear from her eye that the others politely pretended not to see.
“Glad to hear it,” James laughed.
It had been about a week since Mary moved in and Remus and Sirius were just moving the last of their necessities in when James had the realisation that everything was becoming a bit cramped in the house. Yes, Potter Manor was quite big, and it certainly had enough rooms for everyone, but with Harry’s friends coming in and out while four adults lived there, it was a bit too much. Obviously he wasn’t going to bring this up to anyone except Sirius, because he knew that Remus would offer to go back home and Mary would feel like a burden, and James didn’t want either of those to happen. So, that left Sirius.
“What did you want to talk to me about, Prongs?” Sirius asked, sipping the tea that he had just finished making when James had somewhat bombarded him, saying that he needed to speak with him.
“Does the Manor seem to be getting…”
“Crowded? Smaller? Fuller?” Sirius filled in, quite helpfully, might James add.
“Yes,” he said, sighing in relief that someone else noticed it. “I know I asked for everyone to move here but I didn’t take into account the…”
“Herds of children coming in and out?” he suggested, and Merlin did James love his brother.
“Yeah,” he nodded. “But I don’t know what to do about it. I’m not going to tell Harry that he can’t have friends over, especially after the year he’s had, and I’m not going to even suggest either you and Remus or Mary to leave. I just don’t know how to fix it.”
“I’ve been thinking about it and..” Sirius paused to take a deep breath, seemingly needing to prepare himself for what he was going to say. “We could always move into Grimmauld Place. Temporarily, of course. It’s five stories and has about 5 bedrooms per floor after the main floor. It would be enough room for all of us–”
“You don’t need to do that, Sirius,” James said, shaking his head at him.
“I know,” he reassured him. “I’m offering. Obviously we’d have to clear the place of all of the dark shit in it, but it would work, if you’d be alright with it.”
James was quiet for a moment, thinking it over. On one hand, it would be larger than this house, and Harry and his friends could still always hang out at the Manor. On the other, did James really want to put Sirius in the position to have to stay in his childhood home where he was tortured repeatedly to the point of him running away? The answer was no. It would always be no.
“I can’t let you do that,” he said, a tone in his voice that suggested that it was the final decision. Of course, Sirius couldn’t let that be the end of it.
“How about we just visit it, and see what it looks like? Then you could make your absolute, final decision,” Sirius said, his voice leaving no room for arguments. James sighed, defeatedly.
“Alright, I guess we could do that,” he replied.
James was nervous. He’s not afraid to admit that. He’d never been inside the house that Sirius grew up in and he had never particularly wanted to visit that hellhole, but alas, they had all agreed to look into living in Grimmauld Place, which is how they ended up in the current situation they were in, which was them standing outside of 12 Grimmauld Place, just staring at it.
“This is where you grew up?” Mary asked. When Sirius nodded she just whistled. “It’s very… grim.”
“Mary,” James started. “Darling, that’s why it’s called Grimmauld Place. It sounds an awful lot like ‘grim old place,’ doesn’t it?”
“Oh,” she replied. “That makes sense.”
“No shit,” Sirius muttered under his breath. “Anyway, let’s go inside.”
Any smart person could tell that Sirius very much did not want to be there, James suspected that he hadn’t thought about the part that he’d actually be living there again. Which made sense as Sirius never really thought anything through to the end. Like, never.
Sirius led the way into the house, with Remus right next to him and Mary and James not far behind. They had left Harry at home with his friends because Sirius wasn’t sure what kind of dark magic was in the house and he didn’t want to risk it. As soon as they walked into the house they heard rustling on the floor above.
“Is…” James started. “Is someone else… here? Because it sounds like it.” Sirius motioned for everyone to stop moving so that he could listen. And surely enough a few seconds later there were what sounded like footsteps coming from the top of the stairs.
“It sounds like there is but I’m not sure who would be able to get into the house. Because there’s some blood magic shit or something and I’m pretty sure none of my cousins meet all of the requirements to be allowed in here.”
“So the only other person who would be able to get in here would have been your brother?” Remus asked. Sirius nodded.
“But he’s dead, so I’m not sure who it is.”
“Well..” Remus started hesitantly at the look on James’ face. “His body was never found.”
“Are you suggesting that his brother isn’t dead?” Mary asked, raising an eyebrow.
“He’s not wrong,” a voice from the stairs said. A voice that sounded way too close to Regulus Black’s for comfort. The voice then became a person as a man appeared at the stairs. Within a second James had the man pinned against the wall with his wand held to his throat.
“Who are you?”
“Now, James, as much as I used to like being under you, I’m not sure how I feel about it now,” the man– apparently Regulus– said. “So if you could so kindly let go of me, it would be very much appreciated.”
“How do I know that it’s actually you?” James asked, not letting up on his grip once.
“Ask me a question, one that only I would know the answer to,” he challenged. James stopped to think about it.
“In my fifth year, what was my favorite song?” Before Regulus could answer he added, “And why was it my favorite?” Sirius scoffed from behind him.
“Prongs, so many people could answer that question. It was The Prettiest Star by Bowie. You need a better one,” he said, rolling his eyes.
“You can’t tell me why it's my favorite though. Regulus should be able to,” he pointed out. Regulus rolled his eyes at James.
“Because my name is a star,” he replied softly, making James whip his head around, eyes wide. “When I was sad you would play that song and say that the song was about me because I was the prettiest star.” James let go of him as if he were burned. “It’s actually me.”
“Prongs,” Remus started. “You were one cheesy motherfucker in fifth year, good god.”
“Oi shut it,” he snapped. “How the fuck are you alive Regulus?”
“I went behind the Dark Lord’s back,” he shrugged. “And I needed to survive so I faked my death and moved to America. I was planning on coming back once I got word that the war had ended but I never did. Well, until people were talking about how he was back. I never knew he left.”
“But the war started up again, making it unsafe for you here. Why’d you come back?” Mary asked, speaking for the first time in a while.
“Someone needs to kill the guy,” he joked.
“What, are we not capable of doing so ourselves?” Remus asked.
“He created horcruxes,” he said. “Do you know how to destroy a horcrux? Exactly.”
“Of course the madman created horcruxes,” Remus muttered, shaking his head. “Do you know how many he actually managed to make before– y’know,” he nodded his head to James, trying to be discreet.
“Before he murdered my wife and attempted to kill my child? You can say it Moony, I know it happened,” James said, rolling his eyes. Even after 12 years everyone got delicate about the situation sometimes.
“Wait, I’m sorry,” Regulus stepped in, his eyes wide. “You have a wife and a kid?”
“Had a wife,” he corrected. “Said wife was killed by Voldemort. As I’ve just said. 12 years ago this Halloween. And yes, I have a kid. Where have you been?”
“Faking my death in America,” he deadpanned. “Who did you marry?”
“Come on Reg, you can’t guess?” Sirius asked, chuckling slightly.
“Don’t call me Reg and I’m sorry that I didn’t pay attention to my ex boyfriend’s love life after we broke up,” he replied dryly. “Was it that red-headed girl? What was her name? Evans?”
“Lily Evans,” James nodded. “Or Lily Potter for two months before I buried her because your psycho lord killed her.”
“I was forced into joining him,” Regulus defended himself. Sirius scoffed.
“You could have left. James gave you an out, Andy gave you an out, and I gave you an out multiple times. You chose to stay there.”
“For your safety, you absolute arsehole,” he said, trying and failing to keep his voice steady.
“What do you mean, for my safety?” Sirius retorted. “I was already safe.”
“I had tried leaving once. And they caught me. They threatened my life and yours if I tried to leave again. So, I didn’t. Because if I did, they would never, and I mean never, stop chasing me alongside you. So, for your safety, because one of us deserved to live the life we should’ve been living and you were always better than me, so I stayed. To protect you. So don’t bullshit me and say that I could’ve left, because yes, I could’ve, but not without dragging you down with me. And I didn’t want to do that to you.” The room was silent. You could’ve heard a pin drop.
“Oh.”
“Yeah, oh,” Regulus mocked, his voice steadying. “Now, why the fuck are you even back here? I was under the impression, and please, correct me if I’m wrong but I don’t believe I am, that you were living with Remus.”
“Well, technically yes,” Sirius said, shrugging a bit.” But currently, with others as well.” He was obviously trying to keep it vague, just in case, and James had never been gladder that Sirius had grown some common sense after living with Remus for 14 years.
“Just to be clear,” James interrupted, glaring at Regulus. “You know that we’re not just going to leave you alone after this. We’re going to use Veritaserum to make sure you’re telling the truth. And then you’re going to continue living here with us and my family, but you will not be allowed to interact with Harry. Is that clear?”
“Uhm, yeah no,” Regulus said, rolling his eyes. “This house doesn’t belong to you, you can’t tell me where I live and what rules I follow. I’m not a child.”
“No,” James agreed. “You aren’t, so I assume that you’re aware of the law that technically makes Sirius the one who inherited this property and not you, despite the fact that he was disowned, because you were pronounced dead on July 9th, 1981. So while I may not own this house, Sirius here does, and I know for a fact that he won’t just let you keep living here without safety precautions. So yes, you will be listening to those instructions and you will be following them. Am I clear?” Regulus was staring at him like he was really looking at him for the first time in years which, James supposed, was what was happening,
“Looks like someone finally caught up with what was happening in the world and adjusted himself to it,” Regulus said, leaning back, seemingly impressed, which made James see red. One minute he was standing next to Mary and the next there was blood on his fist, Regulus was crumpling to the floor, and James was being pulled off of him by Remus who was cursing up a storm from behind him.
“James! What the fuck was that?” Sirius snapped, going to Regulus’ side, who just shook him off and wiped the blood from his face. James couldn’t tell what part of him was bleeding, his nose or his mouth and that brought him an unhealthy amount of glee.
“He fucking deserved it,” he spat, turning away and walking down the hall and out of the house.
How dare he say that? The last time they even saw each other was when Regulus was 17 and him 18, let alone the last time they talked to each other. When he was a child he was as optimistic as they come, he was always looking for the bright side of things. Of course that changed in his sixth year once his parents were murdered by Death Eaters while they were trying to save a child in an attack. Of course he had changed, but not because he had wanted to, but because he was forced with the reality of things that were too big for him at the age of 16. Regulus had no place to say that to him when he didn't know half of the shit that’s happened since they stopped talking. And James won’t let him close enough to find out.