carpe diem

24

After having spent three weeks with every waking moment with James at his side, in his company and personal space, Regulus exits the plane when they arrive back in Heathrow Airport not wanting them to go back to their own flats.

Regulus is not exaggerating that they've spent every single second together. Even showering and on the toilet, Regulus has not had a single second to himself, and he's fucking loved it.

It's taken him by an excessive surprise, as he's someone who thrives in his own company and very easily gets sick of people if they're around him too long. Yet, spending all this time with James hasn't made Regulus want to rip his hair out and find a cupboard to hide in. The exact opposite has happened, and Regulus has now found himself feeling unwell at the idea of them now being apart. Every moment, awake or asleep, they've been side by side, around each other, and now?

Now, Regulus doesn't know how to go to back to life before.

He hates it.

He hates this is who he's become.

And more so: he hates the idea of James going back to his own flat.

He wants to grab James and drag him back on the plane. He wants a delay to be in luggage so they can’t leave the airport yet. He wants more time. Being back in England feels horribly and unreasonably like a death sentence.

He knows he’s being ridiculous. He is fully aware that all they’re doing is going home like everyone else does at the end of a holiday. Holidays don’t last forever. Regulus wouldn’t want it to anyways - he’s actually missed work, and his friends, and Sylvester. It’s going to be to good to be back, to go back to normal, but it just makes him feel empty and lost to know what with that normal, comes an empty space where James has stood for three weeks.

God, he thinks. I’ve become so soft it’s making me sick to my stomach.

There is no delay in passports or luggage. When they get their suitcases without standing in a queue, Regulus is actually grateful despite the dreaded drive home.

James organised it, which Regulus assumed would be convenient, until he admitted who was picking them up.

"Hey!" A voice screams from across the car park.

Regulus barely has three seconds to get a look at Sirius before his brothers wild body comes running up and crashing into James. Sirius clearly forgot about the breaks on his own legs, because he runs into James so fast and hard the pair of them go tumbling to the car park floor. James’ suitcase tumbles to the floor as the two of them become a mess of limbs and wails on the floor, hugging one another.

"Oh my fucking god!" Sirius shrieks. His voice sounds wet as if he’s crying. "Prongs! My Prongs! I missed you so much!"

"I missed you too, Pads!"

"Never leave me again!" Sirius practically howls. "Do you hear me? Don’t you ever leave me again!"

"I won’t! I won’t!" James cries.

Regulus rolls his eyes so hard he’s pretty sure they almost get stuck at the back of his head. He turns away in embarrassment, horrified to see people watching the two of them practically breakdown in each others arms on the floor.

Fucking hell, they’re so dramatic.

They’re acting as if James has been away for a year in a war zone and he’s finally home on army leave.

Idiots.

"Can you get up now?" Regulus asks, staring down at the pair of them and barely resisting kicking Sirius in his leg.

"Don’t be so heartless!" Sirius cries, looking up to glare at him before shoving his face back in James’ neck.

"Are you crying?"

"Yes!"

"God, you’re such an idiot."

"I’m sorry you can’t sustain such emotion, you heartless prick, but some of us miss our best friends when they leave them for prolonged periods of time!"

'He went on holiday for three weeks, not the fucking Navy for a year," Regulus snaps, feeling impatient and more flushed with humiliation by the minute because they are still on the floor! "Get up. Both of you. You’re embarrassing yourselves."

"Awe, Reggie," Sirius grins as he finally climbs to his feet, helping James up as well as. "You’re just jealous because you wish that your friends would greet you with such love and passion."

"If any of my friends did that to me in public, I’d rip their vocal cords out and stomp on them while they choked to death."

Sirius’ eyes widen with shock. "What the fuck?"

Regulus smiles sweetly at his horrified and pale brother for a second before he drops it. "Can we go now?"

James chuckles, brushing off his clothes before wrapping an arm around the smaller mans shoulders. "Yeah. We can go now, love. Pads, where’s the car?"

The drive back is just as painful as the drive three weeks ago to the airport. Sirius is full of energy, loud, practical bouncing in his seat and barely watching the road. He interrogates James about the holiday, about everything they saw, despite the fact that they chatted on the phone every few days because apparently, they’re more codependent that Regulus is feeling right now.

When they get back into London, the sky is a blanket of grey clouds.

They drop Regulus off first. When Sirius pulls up outside his flat, Regulus begrudgingly thanks his estranged brother for the lift before unbuckling his seatbelt to get out.

"Let me help you with your bags," James offers, already climbing out.

They go upstairs together, and when Regulus unlocks the door, the view of his apartment hits him like a punch to the chest. It’s exactly as he left it, which shouldn’t surprise him, but the sight of his book stacks and blankets on the sofa, and plants that have managed to stay alive with Pandora’s care and kindness, makes Regulus deflate like a punctured balloon.

As James places his suitcase and bag by the sofa, Regulus stands awkwardly in the doorway. When the older man turns to him, Regulus feels foolishly like this is some sort of goodbye.

"This feels weird," James says, and Regulus can’t help but nod.

"It does."

"I mean, I’m happy to be back and see everyone, but…"

"I know," Regulus nods, because he does, he gets it. "It’s going to be an adjustment."

"It was only three weeks," James argues weakly.

It was the best three weeks of my life, Regulus thinks.

"You should go home," he says softly, knowing that if he’s not strong about this, then James will stay. They’re adults, they have their own homes, and they can’t be those people who are so dependent on each other that they can’t be apart. They’re better than that, they’re their own people. He steps up to James, wrapping his arms around his shoulders and stretching onto his tiptoes to kiss his lips softly. "Go home, shower, unpack. Everyone has missed you, they deserve some James time after I hogged it for three weeks."

"You didn’t hog it," James denies, shaking his head.

Regulus smiles, feeling warm and fuzzy when James’ arms around his waist tighten possessively. "We’re home, that means life has to go back to normal. And normal is work and seeing friends, not having sex 24 hours a day, seven days a week."

James blushes. "I told you. London isn’t my home, wherever you are is my home."

"I’m right here, you know where to find me, but you need to go and see your parents, Remus and Peter."

"I know," James pouts. "But I don’t want to. Well, I do, but I also…"

"I’ll be here when you’ve seen them all," Regulus promises, kissing him once more.

James rests their foreheads together. "I love you, Regulus."

"I love you too," Regulus whispers. Then, he pulls back and flicks the taller boys nose. "Go home, before I lock that door and don’t let you leave."

"As if I’d object to that," James rolls his eyes, but he steps away too.

When James has gone, Regulus refuses to wallow. He finds Sylvester stretched out on his bed, and after giving the cat a cuddle, he gets on with unpacking and doing some laundry. He puts his toiletries back in the bathroom and takes a shower, washing off the smell of airplane and airports off him.

He’s in the middle of drying his hair when his phone rings.

He swipes answer and puts it on speaker without looking at the name of the caller.

"Hello?" He says as he goes back to wringing out his dripping hair with a towel.

"Reggie!" Barty’s voice sings through the phone. "My love! My angel! My little French cupcake, are you back in the land of the miserable?"

"Yes, I’m back."

"Fabulous! What are you doing right now?"

"Drying my hair."

"Even better! So you’ll be nice and clean when we see you. We’re coming over, sugar tits. We’ve got fajita ingredients, wine and martini essentials."

"Brilliant," Regulus deadpans. He’s not sure if he’s in the mood for everybody today, he’s feeling mopey and sorry for himself. He doesn’t need Barty’s snark, or Evan’s teasing, or the two of them dancing around each other and making the evening awkward with their stupid feud.

"Don’t sound so happy, Reggie," Barty laughs. "Someone might think you actually missed us."

"I missed you just as much as one misses having an earache."

"So happy to have you back," Barty grumbles. "See you in 20 minutes, baby cakes!"

When the phone call hangs up, Regulus drops the towel in his back and flops back on the bed.

Despite the code to always dress smart casual for fajita night, Regulus has used all his nice clothes on the holiday and he’s exhausted. He forgoes the shirt and trousers, instead donning a pair of sweatpants and a knitted sweatshirt. If they give him stick, then they can fuck off: they haven’t done a day of travelling and have a pile of washing the height of the Eiffel Tower.

True to his word, 20 minutes later, a knock echoes from the front door.

Regulus is on the sofa, nursing a cup of treasured coffee when he calls out, "It’s open!"

Instantly, the door bursts open, and three bodies with bags come rushing in.

"Reggie!"

"Reggie-kins!"

"Mon étoile! (My star!)"

Regulus barely has time to put his mug down before all three of them are jumping on him, piling him into the sofa unapologetically. Regulus grunts at the weight, the air rushing from his lungs as his body and chest is crushed by his three friends using him as a cushion.

"We missed you so much!" Barty cries.

"So much!" Pandora adds.

"Don’t leave us again, Reggie!" Evan wails.

Regulus would huff if his chest was able to perform the movement against Barty’s body squashing him. He’s getting flashbacks to Sirius and James in the carpark hours ago.

Turns out, his friends are idiots too.

Also turns out, Regulus kind of likes it.

If his arms weren’t trapped, he’d hug them back.

"Of course you missed me," Regulus wheezes out.

Barty pulls back first to swat him in the head, but the mans face falls and he gasps. "Reg! You’re so tanned!"

"What? No way!" Evan shouts as he shifts off him enough to look at him too. "Holy fuck! You are!"

"You look so healthy, darling," Pandora smiles, stroking his cheek. "Some colour looks so good on you."

"Yeah!" Barty nods, smirking. "You no longer looks like a pale slug."

"Fuck you!" Regulus snarls, kicking his taller friend sharply in the leg and earning a satisfying yelp from the man. "Get off me, you buffoons! Get off!"

Barty rolls off with a grunt, followed by Evan, who lands half on top of the other boy. Pandora slides off Regulus’ lap, sitting directly beside him, perched like a curious cat.

"See something you like?" He asks when Pandora continues to stare at him.

"Yes, and something I missed dearly," she says, smiling sadly. "Did you have a good time?"

"It was wonderful," Regulus smiles, nodding.

"Did you have enough pairs of pants?" Barty asks, where he’s still sprawled out on the living room floor despite Evan having got up and sat on the chair.

Regulus scowls down at him, "Yes, I did."

"You definitely caught the sun," Pandora adds, stroking his still slightly damp hair. "I don’t think we’ve ever seen you so tanned."

"Or tanned at all, in fact," Evan adds.

"Yeah. Had to get tanned when you spend all day inside," Barty gloats, and he cackles when Regulus flips him off.

"Did you take lots of photos?" Pandora asks.

"I did, but I sent them all to you guys already," Regulus explains. "I literally called you guys like twice a week when I was away. You heard from me more when I was in a different country than you do when I’m here."

"That’s very true," Barty nods. "Don’t think you’ve ever been so active in the group chat than you were when you weren’t even here!"

Regulus rolls his eyes at the petulant tone in Barty’s voice.

"Did someone bring wine?" Regulus asks, and when Evan holds up the bag he brought in, Regulus nods and gets up to go into the kitchen. "So, what did I miss?" When all three of them look at him, he adds, "Come on. Don’t skimp out on the gossip now. I was gone for three weeks, are you telling me nothing happened while I was gone?"

He sits himself back down and takes the bottle off Evan. He’s uncorking the wine as Barty climbs off the floor, but his eyes widen when Barty dumps himself right in Evan’s lap.

His eyes widen even more when Evan accepts it, wrapping his arms around Barty’s waist and practically melting the two of them together.

Regulus is pretty sure his eyes are about to pop out of his head as he side-eyes Pandora, who flashes him a smile before she ducks her head.

"Are you two…" Regulus starts, blinking rapidly. "Are…"

"Someone finally got his head out of his ass and came to his homosexual senses," Evan shrugs with a grin, before he tilts his head to look up at Barty. At the same time, Barty looks down, and before Regulus can process what he’s already seen, the two of them are leaning in and…

What the fuck.

What.

The.

Fuck?

Frozen, with the bottle of wine in one hand and a glass in the other, all Regulus can do it stare at his two friends kissing on the chair opposite him.

When they’re done, they both turn to him with flushed cheeks. Evan’s smile is shy and soft, and Barty’s is stretched wide with smugness and pride.

"Fucking hell," Regulus breathes. "When did this happen?"

"About two weeks ago," Evan replies.

Regulus slams the bottle of wine down. "What?! Two weeks ago? Why did no one tell me?"

"We wanted it to be a surprise," Barty shrugs.

"A sup— a surprise?" Regulus shrieks. He laughs loudly, almost manically, "Are you fucking kidding me? A surprise is a present! Or an engagement! Not the two of you realising you’re gay for each other and no longer fighting!"

"We wanted to see the look on your face when you saw," Barty shrugs, though he still looks smug enough that Regulus can’t tell if he wants to slap the look off his face or give them both a hug.

This whole thing started back in February when they had drunk sex and Barty freaked out. Now, they’re in May, and after two months of them dancing around each other and their sexualities, they’re now sitting in each others lap in Regulus’ living room.

"How?" Regulus asks, tone dripping with bafflement.

Evan and Barty look at one another for a second. Evan’s eyes harden at Barty, and the brunette sighs before looking at Regulus.

"Well, while you were gone, I was a bit lonely," Barty starts.

Evan scoffs, "A bit?"

"My partner in crime was gone!" Barty hisses at him. "Anyway, so I was lonely, and Pandora was working and me and Evan still weren’t speaking. So, I had a few glasses of wine, which turned into a few bottles of wine…"

"Drunk pity party for one," Regulus nods. "I expected nothing less."

"Unsurprisingly, I got really drunk. Like, sobbing, snot, tears, drool, the lot. It was ugly, and I phoned you," Barty says, and at Regulus’ frown, he holds up a hand and adds, "Or at least, I thought I phoned you. I spoke to you on the phone, crying and whining about how I’d realised I’d fucked up, I didn’t know what to do, I’d lost Evan and I was scared."

Regulus nods slowly, "Okay. So, who did you phone, if you didn’t actually phone me?"

Barty’s eyes close in despair and he points at Evan.

Regulus’ eyes widen. "No."

"Yep," Barty nods with a grimace.

"He didn’t even realise it was me when I was talking to him," Evan adds. "I was literally talking to him, and he was calling me Regulus and not listening to a thing I was saying."

"So, you realised you have feelings for Evan, got drunk, accidentally phoned him, and told him everything?"

"Yes," Barty nods. "And while I was pouring my heart out down the phone to 'Regulus', Evan was on his way over listening to it all. I was still crying when he got to my flat."

"He was in hysterics. It would have been funny if he hadn’t looked so pitiful."

"Rude."

"True," Evan laughs. "Barty, love, you were sitting on the kitchen floor, drinking wine from the bottle by this point, crying your heart out like someone had died. I didn’t know whether to laugh or phone the police to get you sectioned."

Barty rolls his eyes, "It was not that bad."

Evan looks at Regulus and says, "It was bad."

"Anyway!" Barty cries loudly. "So, I realise Evan is there. In my drunken state, I tell him everything, again, because I didn’t realise it was him on the phone."

"And?"

"And the rest is history."

"It is not!" Evan shouts. "Then, you threw up in your own lap, on the floor, keeled over to the side and passed out. I had to drag your heavy ass into the shower, hose you down and get you into bed. Then I had to clean up your flat. The rest is not history, Bartemius Crouch!"

Barty winces, cheeks blushing, and Regulus can’t help but chuckle at the embarrassment on his friends face.

"Why am I not surprised that Barty’s sexual realisation came from the bottom of a wine bottle?" Regulus muses.

"Shut up," Barty grumbles. "I just needed a bit of liquid courage."

"Well, I’m happy either way," Evan smiles, hugging Barty closer.

Barty grins, jumping up. He grabs both of Evan’s hands and yanks him up. He sits back down, and yanks Evan back on top of him, his own arms wrapping around Evan like an octopus and trapping him down.

"Well," Regulus exhales, picking the wine back up and pouring them all glasses. "Congratulations on your sexual realisations. So pleased that the two of you with now be fighting as lovers instead of as idiotic friends."

Evan flashes him a flat look as Barty takes their wine glasses.

"Thank you, Reggie," Barty sings. "And I think you’ll find there will be no lovers fighting. We sort all our problems in the bedroom."

Regulus grimaces and he looks at Pandora, "Honeymoon stage?"

"They’ve taken it to a whole new level," she nods sympathetically. "I’m just glad you’re back so I’m no longer third wheeling."

"You were not third wheeling!" Evan cries.

"I was!" Pandora argues. "You guys have spent the last two weeks looking at each other and not even noticing me!"

Regulus takes a sip of his wine as he wraps an arm around Pandora. "Who’s top and who’s bottom?"

"We swap," Evan says.

"But I’m mostly on top," Barty adds with a wink.

"I knew it!" Regulus smirk. "Dorcas owes me 50 quid."

Evan’s eyes widen, "You betted on us?"

"Of course," Regulus scoffs. "We’ve had this bet going for almost two years, and now I can finally cash in on my winnings."

"You’re a piece of shit, you know that right?"

Regulus nods, non-perplexed. "Of course."

Evan chuckles, shaking his head.

Regulus isn’t showing it, but he’s so bloody happy for his friends. The animosity between the two of them during the last two months have been painful for all parties involved. Evan has been hurting, Barty has been lashing out in confusion, and all of them have been reaping the consequences. It’s been hard to watch the two of them dance around their feelings, lashing out whenever they can to try and protect themselves.

Barty has been denying his feelings, confused and unable to figure out what he’s feeling for Evan is okay.

Evan has been hurt by Barty denying everything, by pushing him away, by invalidating what they clearly have.

And all Regulus and Pandora have been able to do is sit by and watch, advise as best they can, and protect them from themselves and each other.

Unsurprisingly, all they needed was time.

And now… now… now they’re making out on Regulus’ chair.

Brilliant, Regulus thinks grimly. They’re going to take PDA with an inch and run a mile with it.

Regulus and Pandora tried to play cupid, and now they’ve got to reap what they’ve sowed: their best friends being gross.

Regulus agrees to cook, mostly because he can’t bare the idea of how mutilated their food is going to be if he doesn’t. He’s learnt his lesson with letting Evan and Barty cook, and he doesn’t fancy his only day tomorrow between getting back from his holiday and going back to work to be spent on the toilet with food poisoning.

When they’re settled on the sofa with wine being drank and fajita’s being eaten, they fill Regulus in on anything else that he’s missed while he’s been away.

Barty fills him in on Snape getting slapped by a patient the other week. Evan fills him in on how they had a 15 year old who came in because he shoved a hamster up his ass - Regulus didn’t believe this was true until Evan got Lily to text a confirmation. Pandora has finished two essays and an exam, and is two months away from qualifying. She’s half way through her dissertation, which apparently has been sucking the life out of her but Xeno has been a fantastic support.

Hours later, the four of them have moved onto margaritas. Pandora has moved to the chair that Evan and Barty were occupying, and Regulus is on the floor sitting against her legs so that Barty and Evan can stretch out on the sofa together.

The night bleeds away as they all get progressively more tipsy. Laughter fills his flat, the food eaten and cleared away as Barty retells the story of a night out that Regulus missed while he was on holiday.

"Are you staying the night?’ He asks Pandora, hoping she’ll say yes. She’s on the cusp of being drunk, and it’s well into the early hours of the morning. He doesn’t want Pandora getting the train home alone tonight, and judging by the sight of Barty practically asleep on Evan on the sofa, the other two won’t be going anywhere.

"Please," she smiles.

Pandora leaves to brush her teeth with the toothbrush she keeps in the cupboard under his sink. While she’s gone, Regulus gets on with clearing the glasses.

When he’s done, he eyes Evan and Barty on the sofa.

"Are you two staying?"

"M’not m’v’ng," Barty slurs where his face is smushed into Evan’s chest, eyes closed.

"Can we have the bed?" Evan asks sweetly, and Regulus can’t stop the bark of laughter that rips out of him.

"Fuck no," he shakes his head. "Don’t be ridiculous. I’m not giving up my bed. You two have the sofa."

"How are two grown men supposed to fit on one sofa?" Evan slurs.

"Figure that out yourselves," Regulus replies as he notices Pandora coming out of the bathroom. She smirks at him before she goes into his room, leaving him to deal with the pair of idiots they call their friends.

Traitor.

"Top and tail?" Barty suggests as he finishes off his glass of wine.

"Fuck no!" Evan cries. "I’m not having your toes in my face!"

"You’ve had a lot worse than my toes."

"Goodnight!" Regulus yelps, spinning around and marching to his room. Over his shoulder, he shouts, "Don’t you dare shag on my sofa!"

"We’ll clean up!"

"It is natural cotton!" Regulus hisses. "Leave a stain, and I’m chopping your dicks off!"

He slams the bedroom door shut before they can reply. He leans against the door, closing his eyes.

"They’re going to be worse now they’re together than they were when they were pinning one another, aren’t they?"

"I believe so," Pandora muses. "They’re still in the honeymoon stage. It’ll settle down soon."

"It’s Evan and Barty," Regulus reminds her. "They’re both sex addicts."

"Perhaps a little bit of new sofa shopping is on your agenda now?"

"I’m going to regret not sending them home," Regulus grumbles, but finally pushes off the door to cross the room to his chest of draws. He gets out Pandora’s usual sleeping attire that she always borrows.

When Regulus slips out of his room to quickly use the bathroom, he’s grateful that he doesn’t get an eyeful of bare ass on his sofa.

When he’s brushed his teeth and washed his face, he goes back into his bedroom and climbs in beside Pandora.

"I’m so happy you had such a lovely time, Reg," she murmurs softly. "You deserved a holiday."

"First one since I can remember," Regulus smiles wistfully. "By the time we were coming back, I didn’t want it to end."

"Maybe that will encourage you to actually use your annual leave now and start enjoying your hard earned money," she laughs.

"I’m happy to be home," Regulus says, because he is. After this evening with his friends, he’s realised what it is to be home with the people he loves.

"We’re happy you’re back," she says. "It wasn’t the same without you here."

"I can’t believe you’re almost a qualified midwife," Regulus whispers. "You’re so close, and I’m so bloody proud of you."

Pandora smiles. "It’s proving itself to be a good year."

"An engagement and qualifying in your dream job?" Regulus smirks. "Not too shabby, Pandora Fontayne."

She beams at him.

A few minutes after Pandora has fallen asleep, Regulus’ phone buzzes. Swiping it off his bedside cabinet and turning the brightness down, he reads the text from James.

James (02:11) i miss you

Regulus (02:11) pathetic

Regulus (02:11) i miss you too

James (02:12) my bed feels weird

Regulus (02:12) it’s because i’m not in it

James (02:13) i believe that’s the sad truth

James (02:13) feeling pathetic and lonely so i’m listening to james blunt music

Regulus (02:13) oh no. that sounds terminal

James (02:14) it is :(

James (02:14) wait, do you not like james blunt?

Regulus (02:14) no one likes james blunt apart from middle aged women and you

James (02:15)  that is unnecessarily accurate and rude

James (02:15) do you want to come to tennis tomorrow?

Regulus (02:15) i will never turn down an opportunity to torture your best friend and my estranged brother by beating him at his own favourite sport

James (02:16) i would never expect any different from you, darling <3 i’ll pick you up at 11:30

Regulus shuts his phone off a few minutes later.

He’s asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow.

The next day, he kicks Sirius’ ass at tennis.

— tbc.