Wishes for Family

Diego, Sandra and Cindy were the only three Saviours that Zoey is able to stand being around for more than a few minutes. Sandra is the oldest, her no nonsense attitude is strangely endearing. Greying hair pulled back into a severe, if greasy, bun, her preferred weapon is actually a cane. When Zoey asked her about it, Sandra said, “It made those pricks out there underestimate me. That was their last mistake.” Impressed, Zoey wonders what kind of weapon she should settle on that would make the same impression. She also wonders what Harry would approve of her using.

Cindy is the youngest, though still much older than Zoey. Her shorn blonde hair is always sticking out in every direction. She’s always wearing a muscle shirt – or a ruined t-shirt with the sleeves ripped off – that showcase the impressive sleeves of amazing artwork along her arms. She likes to call Zoey, Z for Zorro, whoever that is. Cindy refuses to tell Zoey why. Though not much bigger than Zoey is, she uses a large, intimidating blue pipe wrench. It’s certainly not as big as the well known Sledgehammer her Dad carries but it’s still very intimidating. The adjustable screw is too rusted to move, so it’s permanently stuck looking like a large, thick claw.

Diego, on the other hand, speaks Spanish. That fact alone made Zoey like him a lot. As soon as she found that out, she pestered him for Spanish lessons, surprising him with her vast knowledge of swear words. After she harassed him a few times, he finally approached Negan before agreeing to teach her. He has a narrow, long face and large round glasses, the arm connecting to the corner of the left lens taped together haphazardly. His weapon is the coolest; an actual hunting bow, camouflaged with a quiver. He apparently participated in some archery contests and did quite well.

In the weeks since she hurt her wrist and... found? her biological Mother, Zoey has been making regular runs with these three Saviours as her choice of company. Though she hasn’t put up any new symbols, she still obsessively checks them as often as she can. Since she covered a great deal of the area surrounding Sanctuary, she can’t always check them all on the same day. Not only is it incredibly dangerous with the dead moving around constantly but there is always the chance of encountering violent survivors wanting an easy mark.

Diego keeps a sharp eye out for such dangers but it’s Cindy and Sandra that like to make pit stops to scavenge for any supplies. Food is always needed. Clothes are in constant, high demand, their lifestyle ill-suited to keeping pristine clothing even with regular washing. Detergent, bleach, any cleaning chemicals they can get their hands on can be exchanged for more points than normal. Alcohol, drugs or pharmaceuticals can be hoarded or traded to other communities, as they are more rare and valuable due to their limited availability. Alcohol can be made, sure, but it requires excess that they really don’t have to spare. Furniture that can be used is marked on a map Diego keeps on him for later retrieval, as they make valuable tradable commodities within the communities.

Basically, Sanctuary has become a Hub for tradable supplies because of it’s proximity to the city. Even the outskirts are a veritable smorgasbord of non-food items.

Today, however, they are only out to make a quick run to check her symbols she hasn’t seen in a few weeks. Her obsessive need to paste them everywhere makes it hard to see all of them in a timely manner, as she’s not always allowed to leave when she wants to. Half the time, it’s her parents being protective but sometimes it’s outside factors like roaming herds or groups of survivors being spotted nearby. Their satellite outposts are in strategic locations to see a great deal of the city and the network they set up using radio and walkies ensures a constant flow of information. A large, roaming herd has shuffling around another quadrant on the other side of Sanctuary, so she’s only allowed to be out for a few hours.

Zoey is nearly out of time when her eyes catch on ink near her own.

Skidding to a stop, Zoey feels her heart beginning to pound as she tries to make out what she’s seeing. It looks... weird, not right in some way. The symbol is... gibberish, nonsensical, like pieces were taken from some of her other symbols and mashed together oddly. It has the start of safe, which is a circle, but the x, meaning not safe cancels that out. The two dots on each side say place, with the arrow pointing straight up is supposed to dictate which direction she needs to go but the opposite. So it says, safe not safe place this way while pointing... right here. If the arrow was pointing at the ground, it would make a little more sense; go forward but none of their symbology has the arrow pointing straight up. Besides that, she doesn’t put many arrows on her symbols, Harry’s paranoia seeping through to risk someone connecting the symbols somehow to Sanctuary.

“That’s a fucking weird symbol,” Sandra mumbles uneasily.

Cindy makes an agreeing noise, “I don’t think that’s Z’s.”

Zoey frowns heavily at it, “It’s not. I don’t think it’s Harry’s, either.”

“I don’t like it, nosotros deberiamos ir,” Diego says uncomfortably. It takes Zoey a moment to connect the words. We should go. As reluctant as she is to agree, her gut is churning uneasily. What does this mean?

“Yeah, tampoco me gusta.” Zoey replies, not able to hide the nerves in her tone. This is the first time she’s encountered this and it makes her uneasy. Who would do something like this? “I’m gonna tell Dad about this, though. Let’s go.”

“If you don’t, I will,” Sandra promises darkly. Zoey very nearly rolls her eyes. It’s not like she makes a habit of lying to her Dad. Jeez.

“Keep alert, they might still be around,” Cindy mutters warily, her eyes flicking around for threats. She keeps her blue pipe wrench in a firm grasp as they continue on. Diego silently knocks an arrow and keeps it at the ready.

The strange symbol keeps troubling Zoey on the way back. They don’t see anyone living and kill any Biters close enough to be a threat but her mind keeps pulling up the symbol. Is it someone’s idea of a prank? Is there a group they don’t know about? Is it just a person that wants to connect using the symbols that just keep popping up? It hadn’t occurred to Zoey that someone may reverse engineer their symbology to try and make contact. Or a trap; Harry’s voice creeps into her thoughts on different ways it can be one. What could it possibly be?

Thankfully, they don’t encounter any trouble. Regardless of the weird symbol, it’s another dud day, no Harry to be found.

The last few weeks has been especially grating on her nerves. Working through her complicated feelings regarding her bio Mom has been tough and emotional on its own; Harry's continued absence is beginning to wear on her. She just hasn't had the same zeal to look for him as much as she used to, her continued forays into the dead streets more an obsession she can’t quite let go of. Emillia is pining after Jake and while Darren apologized for being a troll, he's been weird. He wants to hang all the time but Zoey’s been so distracted by everything else that she hasn't really been a good friend… to anyone.

Emillia knows and understands but Jake continues to make snippy comments about Zoey's moods. It's gotten to the point where she's starting to avoid hanging out with anyone.

Except Darren, it seems.

Zoey glances at him waiting patiently nearby as she unloads her things to Jan, who is the current intake worker for the day.

“Didn’t find much today,” Jan remarks with a concerned note in her tone.

“Was only allowed out for a few hours. Didn’t really have time to look for stuff,” Zoey shrugs, unapologetic. Finding Harry trumps supplies, in her opinion. She won’t be sorry for being more preoccupied with him than stuff anyone else can be looking for.

“Not today, either?” Jan asks, smiling softly in pity.

Zoey hates that look but brushes it off, “Nope!” She pops in a fake cheerful voice. “Are we done?”

Jan waves her off. Zoey turns, rolling her eyes as she makes her way to Darren. He perks up, a small smile coming to his face as he waves, "No luck today?"

Zoey shakes her head, frustration rearing up at the same stupid question. Isn’t is fucking obvious? “No.”

"That's shitty," Darren replies, sounding genuine. The tone kind of eases the frustration a little. "Wanna eat together?"

"Dad here?" Zoey asks instead, noncommittal. She really needs to talk to him about that weird symbol.

Darren shakes his head, "Nah, he left a while ago. He seemed like he was in a rush. No idea why."

"Ma didn't go with him?"

"I don't think so…" Darren says hesitantly, thinking, a furrow in his brow. Zoey doesn’t know why she’s noticing that.

"I'll sit with you but if Ma's here, she'll want me to eat supper in a bit," Zoey allows, looking away from his brow. She shakes her head, she must be tired.

"Fair enough," Darren replies, falling into step with her as they make their way to the cafeteria. "How was it?"

Zoey tells Darren about the strange symbol they found. Darren excuses himself to grab food and when he gets back, he says, “Are you sure it’s not his?”

“I’m sure,” Zoey replies firmly, giving Darren a flat stare.

Darren shrugs, eyes on his food, "How do you know he's not dead?"

Zoey stands abruptly, startling Darren into looking up at her. She gives him a nasty glare and then leaves without another word. How could he say that? How could anyone say that?

"Zoey?"

Harry is not dead. He's not. She ignores Darren's calls and heads back up to the house, back straight and stiff. She doesn't acknowledge the guard on duty and opens her door. The smell of cooking food hits her in the face but her stomach turns nauseatingly. Zoey definitely doesn't feel like eating.

"Zo? You home, sweetie?"

Regardless, the sound of her Ma's voice, so caring and concerned, makes Zoey's shoulders drop. She heads into the kitchen tiredly, "Hey, Ma." Sinking into a chair, Zoey rests her head on her hand.

"How was your day?"

Zoey watches her bustle around the counters, something simmering on the stove, "Still nothing."

Ma glances over her shoulder and pauses, quickly rinsing her hands. She dries them on a towel and turns the stove way down, coming around the table to sit next to Zoey, "No sign?"

Zoey determinedly keeps her lips from trembling, "No."

Ma sighs, gently pulling Zoey into her arms, "I'm sorry, Zo. I would love to be Genie right now and wish your brother here."

Zoey giggles sadly, suddenly remembering, "I asked Harry if he was a Genie once."

"Oh?" Ma hums. "Oh yeah, I remember you telling us about that."

Zoey leans further into Ma's embrace, her hand coming up to play with the cross around her neck, "I'm just… I haven't lost hope but…"

"But it's hard to keep trying after a while," Ma guesses. Zoey nods, relieved she isn't getting in trouble. She looks down at the cross, taking in the familiar gold features. Ma continues, "I know, hon. I know how that feels."

"You do?" Zoey asks, pulling away to look at Lucille.

Ma nods, smiling softly, "Before we met you two… Negan was gone a lot. He had to find some chemo for my cancer and he was constantly risking his life even for one more bag. He was so-driven, to take care of me. Get my cancer beat," Ma smoothes down Zoey's hair with fingers that are no longer the stick thin they were. "I missed him all the time and I worried so much I barely ate because I didn't want him going back out for food. Constantly wondering if he is going to make it back or not. Wondering what I would do if he didn't…"

Zoey is uncomfortably reminded that Lucille had once wanted to die. She didn't want to keep fighting any more. What does one go through… to not want to live? She can't understand it. Zoey was so terrified to die that she didn't lift a finger to help the man that haunts her dreams.

"Eventually, I got to the point where I wanted to just… spend what time I had left with him. Stop the chemo. Stop the runs. Just… be, you know? I didn't lose hope… I just got tired of keeping it up, I guess."

Zoey looks down and nods, recognizing that she feels the same. She's just… tired. The last two months have just piled on one disappointment after another. She has been busy from sun up to sun down, running around, minding the children, doing runs. When was the last time she actually had fun? She doesn't count playing with the children because they have more fun than she does.

Wrestling with Harry in the living room comes to mind, the day they encountered that horrible group. She can't recall the name. Dad made sure to look for them but it's like they disappeared off the face of Washington as well. That had been one of the biggest disappointments. She had really hoped…

"The point I'm trying to make, Zo, is that it's okay to slow down," Ma finishes, getting up to stir the food.

"But what if-"

"You know Harry doesn't think in what ifs, Zo. I'm sure he would agree with me that your health is more important. He will understand."

"I know," Zoey says in exasperation. "I just feel like… like he's not as important anymore and that's not true!"

Ma sits down again, "Of course not. You have to take care of yourself first. Look at you, sweetie. You look so tired. You can rest for a few days, I promise. Harry will understand."

Zoey feels her mood dip lower, "He always understands. He never gets mad unless… it's so weird. I lie to him, he's not mad! I do something bad, he's not mad! He never gets mad!"

Ma snorts, "You're complaining about having an understanding older brother instead of one that picks on you?"

Zoey opens her mouth but thinks about what she just said and closes it. She moodily stares at the table and Ma sighs, "What's really going on?"

Zoey dips her head until it rests on the table, "Nothing, I guess."

"No, no," Ma says. "It is important if you brought it up. If you don't want to talk about it, I understand but bottling it up doesn't help."

Zoey tilts her head and gives Ma a look, "I guess you'd know?"

Ma huffs as she stands, "If I didn't, Negan would probably be dead."

Zoey lifts her head in shock, "What?"

Ma stirs the food and doesn't look at Zoey, "Negan… made some bad choices before all of this. When I got my cancer diagnosis, I decided I had enough and confronted him. I was going to kill him, right there but he completely changed. Bottling it up isn't a good thing, no. If we had talked about everything before it got bad, things probably would have gone differently…" she trails off, leaving Zoey reeling.

They had seemed so… in love. Even when they had first met, Zoey thought they were loving and caring. She had never… not in a million years have thought… it's like trying to fit a puzzle piece from a different set. It's just not fitting into her mental image of her parents.

Ma finally turns around and continues, "Well, we were different people then with different priorities. He more than made up for his bad choices. So what I told you stays between us, okay?"

Zoey nods, "Okay."

"Negan should be home soon. You want to talk more?"

"No," Zoey replies, still reeling. She’ll tell both of them about the strange symbol when Dad is home. "Maybe later."

Ma nods, turning back to the food.

---

When they sit down for supper, Zoey is about to bring up the topic of the symbol when Dad beat her to it.

“Sandra told me something interesting when I got back,” Dad says conversationally.

Zoey rolls her eyes, “I was just about to tell you, Dad. Like, literally.”

Dad gives her a hard stare and Zoey meets it moodily. Then he nods and takes a bite, “Tell me, then.”

Ma seems concerned but doesn’t interrupt.

“It was weird,” Zoey starts, using her finger to draw an invisible symbol onto the table. Dad is following the pattern with sharp eyes. “It made no sense. Harry and I don’t have a symbol like this. I know what it technically means but...”

“What does it mean?” Ma asks in interest.

“Safe not safe place... down?” Dad answers questioningly. “You guys don’t use that arrow.”

“I know,” Zoey replies. “It’s technically here, not down but we use the two vertical dots for that.”

“Wouldn’t that mean turn around?” Ma questions, trying to work it out herself. Zoey wonders if anyone ever taught Ma how to read their symbols.

“No, honey,” Dad answers her. “If they want to specify the direction to go in like that, they would put it onto a more appropriate place. See, it doesn’t make sense because the circle means safe but the x means not safe. The two horizontal dots means place, the two vertical dots are here and the direction of the arrow means near in the exact opposite direction to go. There are other factors in their little message system but it’s not overly complicated and it’s not hard to imagine someone taking some of your more frequent or less frequent and going bananas.”

Zoey nods eagerly, “Yeah! If there are three dots facing up, it means find me and if it’s facing down, find you. We use an eye for I, like, me, and a swirl for stay. And actually, Dad, while placement is important, go back is arrow heads on the ends of the x. If we can’t fit the entire message in one symbol, we write a second one. I haven’t been doing that, it’s been safe place with the occasional near pointing the way.Like, the one I found looked like it mashed two different symbols together; one for safe place near and not safe. I’ve barely used the not safe symbol.”

“Ah, right,” Dad allows, bobbing his head in agreement. “I remember now.”

Ma looks just a little lost, “You’ll have to show me on some paper later. I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around it all without some kind of diagram.”

“I can show you some secret symbols later on,” Dad purrs huskily, shooting Ma a cheesy grin.

Zoey groans, “I’m eating.” Why do they have to be gross at the dinner table? “Dad, stop being gross.”

“Negan, please be an adult at the dinner table,” Ma says, amusement lacing her voice. Zoey smirks at her food. “We have a very sensitive teenager.”

Zoey whips her head up, giving Ma a betrayed look, “Ma!”

Dad roars in laughter, slapping his knee and leaning back to hoot in amusement. Ma smiles angelically at Zoey, “Yes, dear?”

“You’re supposed-but he’s-” Zoey can’t seem to get over the fact that her Ma threw shade on her like that. Ma is always on her side!

Ma’s lips twitch as she goes back to eating, “Don’t dish it if you can’t take it, sweetheart.” She says it so kindly, Zoey has a hard time being offended.

“Good Lord I love you,” Dad croons as he leans over and plants a smooch on Ma’s head. She smiles in self-satisfaction, practically glowing in pleasure. Zoey returns to her food with a good natured grumble. She guesses she deserves that.

Her eyes catch on the empty plate and cup next to her but she resolutely pulls her eyes back to her food. It’s too painful to keep looking at.

“I’ll look into it, Zo,” Dad says after a few minutes. “Til I figure something out, no runs. Got it?”

She knew he was going to restrict her and she scowls, “Come on, Dad-”

“No,” Dad cuts her off firmly. “I don’t like this. I don’t like that someone is paying close enough attention to your symbols to attempt their own and I don’t want you trying to find out by yourself in some misguided attempt to satiate your curiosity. I especially don’t like the idea of someone or someones hiding so close to Sanctuary that I don’t fucking know about. So if I find out you left Sanctuary, Zoey, you better believe you’ll be spending time in the Pit. Got it?”

Zoey is completely taken aback by Dad’s response, hardly believing he would do that to her. He wouldn’t... would he?

Ma straightens, “Negan-”

Dad holds up his hand, “I’m putting my foot down on this. For all we know, whoever drew that symbol could know Zoey is the one writing them and is trying to lure her into a trap. I will not be taking chances on this. Do you understand, Zoey?”

Zoey looks at Ma pleadingly but finds no help there. The teen slumps into her hair moodily, “Fine.”

Guess she’s stuck on Sanctuary arrest again.

Yay.

—

Zoey did end up taking a few days to herself. The first day she slept in right until noon. She was incredibly sore when she got up and vowed to never do that again. It just didn't seem worth it.

She stayed in comfy clothes and hung around the apartment all day, reading, thinking. About Harry. About her biological Mother. She listens to some music but she just isn't into it. She gives up long before her parents come home and goes back to bed without eating.

The next day, she sleeps in ‘til noon again, somehow. Even more sore, she drags herself out of bed and into the shower. It felt incredibly refreshing but did nothing to restore her mood. She finds some snacks on the table but doesn't feel like eating. Her appetite is non-existent.

Harry's disappointed stare in her mind has her mechanically eating one. It sits heavily in her stomach. Her chest hurts from how much she misses him and without realizing, she's crying. She wraps her arms around herself and kneels, finally breaking down. Nearly half a year since she's seen Harry. She's only known him for maybe nine months. Three months of his love. His kindness. His safety and security. His mumbling. She wants all of it back.

She just wants him back.

A hand on her shoulder wakes Zoey. She blinks her eyes open groggily in confusion. How'd she get on the floor? She feels the hand shake her gently again, "Zoey?"

She turns her head and blinks up at, "Dad?"

Dad smiles, looking relieved, "Hey, kiddo. What are you doing on the floor?"

Zoey sits up and looks around, scratching her head, "Um… I guess a nap." She doesn't want to admit she was crying.

"A nap, hm?" Dad says lightly, reaching out to gently rub his thumb along her cheek, brushing away dried tears.

Zoey ducks her head, dislodging his hand, "Just a nap."

"Okay, a nap," Dad agrees genially. Zoey appreciates that if she doesn't want to talk, he just lets it go. "Come on, I got some news for you."

Her heart leaps, "Harry?"

Negan nods, helping her stand, "We have a sighting. A disturbing community to the south was taken down by several nearby communities. Some survivors came into contact with the Shirewilt community near Richmond and when shown a picture of Harry, were able to confirm they saw him."

South. Harry had been taken south. She had been looking and placing symbols in the wrong places. How could she be so stupid?!

"Hey, hey," Dad says, catching her hands. She hadn't realized she was about to hurt herself in her own self anger. "None of us thought he would be so far down, okay? I wasn't looking that far, either. It's outside of our reach."

It doesn't make Zoey feel better but she relaxes enough for Dad to let her go, "What are we going to do?"

Dad crouches to get down to her level and Zoey feels like a rock is forming in her stomach, "I know you want to just… go and look and not stop but we need to be smart about this. If we try to look for Harry with no plan, people are going to die. Harry wouldn't want that and I'm pretty sure you don't either."

Why do they keep using Harry against her like this? Zoey feels trapped between their expectations and Harry's disappointment.

Dad places a hand on her shoulder, "Give me some time to get more information. I promise that if I find out exactly where he is, you'll be riding shotgun."

Zoey knows she's not going to get a better deal, "Promise?"

Dad nods gravely, no trace of lie or mischief in his face. He is dead serious about her going to find Harry. It's enough to allow her to say, "Okay, Dad."

He smiles, his face softening, "That's my girl."

Warmth, heavy and comforting, smoothes away the rock in her stomach and stone in her throat. Even if Harry isn't here… she has people that love her. She may not see it some days or feel it but it's always there. She doesn't need to earn it and she doesn't feel like a burden. Zoey ducks her head again and goes in for a hug, relaxing further when Dad wraps his thick arms around her.

She can wait a bit longer.

—

The day after next, Zoey shakes her funk, new hope blooming into her chest. She eats breakfast with her parents and heads down.

There are so many things that need to be done around Sanctuary and her hands need to stay busy, so Zoey takes on more than a few chores. She tends to the fields, picking out weeds and jumping at spiders. She goes into the laundry room and is immediately set to work folding the seeming never ending loads of cleaned clothes. Then she heads into the kitchens to help supper prep. Zoey's tired after several hours of constant work but doesn't stop for a break. She goes right into self-defence lessons.

At the end of those, she's exhausted, sweaty and filthy. She tiredly makes her way back up to the house.

"Zoey!"

She pauses, looking over her shoulder at Darren. Remembering what he said, Zoey crosses her arms and looks away as he comes to a stop next to her, "What do you want?"

"Where did you go? It's like you disappeared for a few days."

"What do you want, Darren?"

He takes a step back and then awkwardly scratches the back of his neck, "I'm sorry, alright?"

Zoey's shoulders drop a bit, "For what?"

"I say a lot of stupid things, okay?" Darren explains with a pleading voice. "I never had siblings and my parents never cared what I did or said. I'm sorry if I hurt you. I-... I didn't mean to."

Zoey drops her arms and looks at him, "For future reference?"

Darren looks at her like she has the answer to the universe. It makes Zoey feel weird, "Don’t ever fucking imply my brother is dead again."

He nods, a little too quickly, "Okay, Zo."

"Zoey," she corrects, long suffering. Why does she need to keep saying it?

Darren ducks his head and scratches again, "Right. Sorry. Zoey. Um…"

Zoey sighs, not wanting to deal with him today, "What, Darren?"

He looks nervous, "You wanna… hang or something?"

She feels too tired to keep up with anyone right now, "Tomorrow? I feel like I can sleep for twelve hours."

"O-oh," he mumbles but then, "Can I walk you up?"

Taken aback and feeling more confused, Zoey just nods, "As far as you can, sure."

Darren's face lights up and it makes Zoey's stomach squirm weirdly. She ignores it as she turns to go, Darren falling into step next to her.

They make idle chit chat on the way. Darren informs her that Jack and Emillia are hanging out more often and that Ryan is sick. The kid will probably be fine but they had to quarantine him and his parents for a few days to make sure it doesn't spread. She's glad to hear that because getting sick these days is not as okay as it used to be. They have antibiotics but they can be expensive if the problem isn’t life threatening enough.

Darren wishes her goodnight at the point he can't pass and then Zoey continues on her own, pondering on him and his weirdness. She also ponders that strange squirm she felt. What does it mean? She never felt it before. It didn't feel… bad. Just… weird.

It's all weird. Zoey decides to just ignore it.

—

Zoey approaches the chore desk to get something to do. The morning air is crisp and fresh and she knows it will only stay like that for another hour or so. She wants to get as much stuff done today as possible.

"Hey, Zoey!"

She stops, half turning to see Darren running up, "Hey, Darren. What's up?"

"Nothing, just wanted to hang today," he replies, looking at the desk. "What were you going to get?"

Zoey shrugs, following his line of sight, "Something."

He suddenly looks nervous again, "Wanna do something together?"

Giving him an odd look, Zoey shrugs again, "Sure? Like what?"

Darren tilts his head and then approaches the desk, Zoey close on his heels. She looks over his shoulder, barely seeing his minute glance at her as she peruses the list. Her eyes linger on laundry - sorting/washing. It’s a mind numbing chore, "How about we do this?"

Darren is nodding before she even points it out, cheeks pink, "Yeah, sure. Sounds good."

"Cool, let's go," Zoey marches off towards the laundry room.

"Okay," Darren sounds a little breathless as he follows her.

With both of them hammering away at it, they have the dirty clothes separated in very little time. There are four dryers to use but all the clothes are washed by hand, so while two workers are already at work at a pile, the two teens dig into some of their own. It’s a gruelling two hours of hard washing, Darren tiring quickly and frequently. He stares at Zoey as she continues to scrub the clothes without needing a break, to which he’s quick to look away when she scowls at him. There’s single manual press to use to wring the water from the clothes enough to be thrown into a dryer. The other two workers leave when they set their washed clothes into their dryers, the folding to be done by someone else wanting to work. Two other workers come in just when Zoey and Darren fill the other two dryers, getting right to folding the pile of cleaned clothes and sheets.

Darren’s face is red from the exertion. Zoey finds it strangely adorable that the other teen is so out of shape. She’s worn out a little but she’s still got plenty of energy.

Zoey marches them back to the desk for another one, which is cleaning – kitchen/cafeteria. It’s just after lunch and it should be relatively empty.They do that one quickly as well, Zoey sweeping as Darren washes surfaces like counter tops and tables. Darren is surprisingly good at taking orders and doesn't complain. Or, he swallows them down. She can't help but think he keeps acting weird. It's starting to grate on her nerves.

Before she can take off for a third chore, Darren begs off for food.

"Let's just grab something and eat elsewhere.”

"Like where?" Zoey asks.

Darren shrugs, "I don't know. The fields? I just wanna be able to talk without people listening, you know?"

"Okay," Zoey replies, shrugging.

Darren lights up, "Cool."

Food gained, they run into Jake and Emillia just outside.

"Zoey! Darren," Emillia greets with a smile. "What are you guys doing?"

"We're going to eat in the fields," Zoey replies and then perks up. Here’s a chance to catch up to her friends! "Did you guys wanna come?"

Darren makes an aborted movement and his face pulls down into a slight scowl. Jake looks at him and then grins evilly, prompting the scowl to deepen, "Yeah, we'd love to come."

Zoey perks up, glad to eat with all of her friends, "We'll wait here."

Emillia beams as she heads in with Jake.

"Why did you invite them?" Darren asks with a touch of scorn in his voice.

Zoey frowns a little, "Because they're my friends too? Did you guys fight?"

Darren kicks a rock away, "No."

"What's going on?" Zoey asks, stepping closer.

"Nothing," Darren replies moodily. "Just nevermind."

Blinking, Zoey shrugs. She doesn't know why he keeps acting weird but she's tired of trying to puzzle it out, "If you don't want to anymore, you don't have to. Don't stay on my account."

"That's not-!"

"Hey, we ready to go?" Jake cuts in, Emillia just a step behind.

"I don't know," Zoey asks, looking at Darren. "Are we?"

Darren shrugs and doesn't look at anyone. Zoey just goes with it, "I guess we are."

She did have fun having a pseudo picnic with her friends. She can see, clear as day, that Emillia really likes Jake. Zoey can't see what Emillia likes about him but she feels happy for her friend. Darren remains moody but Zoey doesn’t let it bother her. He excuses himself before everyone is done eating and leaves. Zoey doesn't know what happened to the nice Darren.

After lunch, Zoey takes another chore and then decides she wants to spend some time with the kids.

She comes across a surprising scene: Darren, playing some kind of game with Rachel and Erin. His face is lit up with joy and he laughs as he's tackled, wrestling gently with Erin. It's a far cry from the time she saw him telling scary stories, where his face had been mean and he had trolled out of boredom. Rachel comes up and drapes over him with a pretend roar. As Darren pretends to be in trouble, Zoey feels that strange squirming sensation come back, a hundred times worse. She lifts her hand to her stomach and presses on it, her eyes riveted.

Darren looks up and his face slackens in shock, "Zoey!"

She smiles at him, dropping her hand, "Hey, Darren. This is where you went?"

Darren gently extracts himself from the two, "Uh-yeah, um…"

"That's really nice of you," Zoey says, feeling a flutter when Darren smiles at her. "What changed your mind?"

He flushes a little and looks at the ground, "You, actually."

Surprised, Zoey says, "Me?"

He nods, peeking up at her, "Yeah. What you said that day, about them having enough to be afraid of. It kinda… got to me. I felt really bad and wanted to make it up to them. Man, these kids are cool. They don't hold grudges at all." He grins down at them. Rachel and Erin grin back.

Zoey can feel her cheeks warm and looks down to hide it, "T-thats sweet of you."

"...Thanks, Zoey. What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to spend time with them too,” Zoey replies, grinning when Rachel and Erin gasp.

“Really, Zoey?” Rachel asks with a wide, beaming smile.

Erin claps, eyes lit with excitement, “Play with us!”

Darren perks right up, "We'd all like that."

Zoey grins, giggling a little at how cute the kids are, "What are you guys playing?"

---

Later, Darren walks her back up. Zoey thanks him as she steps through where he can't follow, glancing back to see him watching her go. It makes the strange squirming come back.

At supper, Zoey thinks. She turns over Darren's actions and reactions and her own in turn, trying to figure out what's going on. Ma and Dad are too wrapped up in each other to notice her distraction. She finds she doesn't mind, not yet ready to ask or share her thoughts and feelings on Darren.

Why are some things so hard to figure out?

Zoey resolutely does not look at the plate and cup at her side.

She goes to bed with no answers.

—

The next morning is incredibly busy for Zoey. She helps out in the fields and then assists Ma in organizing the pantry. It was well after noon that she was finally free to go get food.

Darren catches up to her before she can go inside, however.

"Hey, Zoey," he calls out.

Like it was lying in wait, the strange squirming comes back as she turns to look at him, "Hey Darren."

"Are you doing anything… right now?" Daren asks, scratching his neck.

She waves at the cafeteria, "Getting food. Wanna come?"

"Actually-" he hedges, looking far more nervous. "I want to show you something."

Her stomach gurgles for food, "Can it wait?" Darren looks torn and Zoey sighs, "Fine…"

Darren holds out his hand. Zoey's heart thumps a little harder as she hesitantly takes it. Darren's face lights up a bit and the squirming in her stomach gets worse. As he pulls her along to the destination he has in mind, Zoey is more focused on the feel of his hand in her own. It's warm and a little sweaty. Soft, too; at least, softer than her own.

"Where are we going?" Zoey asks as he pulls her around the building to the forgotten nook in the back corner of the lot.

"Just wait," Darren says, a boyish grin on his face. "It's a surprise."

Zoey gives him a look but her wariness gives way to shock when he pulls her around the corner. Darren stands next to her and watches her as she takes everything in. There's a blanket on the ground, with food laid out over it invitingly. Two bottles of water and a single can of grape soda. She looks at him, feeling a little lost, "What is this?"

Darren looks very nervous, "Um… a picnic? For… um… us."

"Darren-" Zoey says, feeling more than a little overwhelmed by the gesture. "N-not that I don't like it but-I'm confused. What's going on?"

Darren dithers, shoving his hands in his pockets and looking away from her, "I-... I really… like you, Zoey."

He peeks at her reaction but Zoey just tilts her head, "I like you, too?"

Darren heaves out an exasperated breath, "No, Zoey, I like you."

Understanding shoots through her and she flushes, ducking her head too, "Oh."

An awkward silence starts up.

Darren breaks it, "Do you… not…"

Zoey jerks, bringing her hands up, "Yes! No! Maybe?" At his raised brows, she amends. "I don't know. I've… never liked anyone before."

Darren relaxes, "Me neither."

Somehow that makes her feel better. She smiles at him and looks back at the picnic, "This is nice. How did you manage to get all this?"

He grins, "Took on extra chores for credit. Dad is always busy so he didn't care one way or the other."

Touched, Zoey goes to sit down on the edge, looking at all the goodies Darren worked hard to get, "Thank you, Darren."

He plops down next to her and grabs the soda, "You're welcome, Zoey. Here." He hands her the can.

"Wait-" Zoey tries to push it back. "Those are expensive-"

"I got it just for you," Darren says a little pleadingly.

Zoey pauses and allows him to push it into her hands. It's a little cool in her palms and she absently rubs her thumb on it, "Thanks."

He grins again and the squirming is turning into fluttering. As they dig in, Zoey thinks she actually does like Darren. He's surprisingly sweet when he isn't being a menace and he has a nice smile. The fact that he took on extra chores just to do something nice for her makes the whole experience that much more meaningful.

The can of grape soda was warm but delicious.

—

They part afterwards, sharing secret smiles and a hand hold as they rejoin the rest of Sanctuary. Darren is pulled away by his Dad, surprisingly, leaving Zoey staring after him. She recalls his smile and smiles at herself as she turns around to wander away.

Only, Ma is right there with a little smile on her face. Zoey startles, heart jumping into her throat, "M-Ma! You scared me!"

She giggles, "I'm sorry, Zo. Was that Dennis' boy?"

Flushing, Zoey clears her throat, "Yeah, his name is Darren."

Ma looks so excited, "Darren, hm?"

Zoey feels embarrassment creeping up and flushes harder, "Yes, Ma. Darren. He's a friend."

Ma doesn't look convinced. If anything, she looks even more excited, "Whatever you say, dear."

Somehow, that only mortifies Zoey more, "He's just a friend!"

Ma smiles, "I believe you, hon."

Zoey isn't convinced either. She narrows her eyes at Ma and crosses her arms.

Ma breaks down into giggles, snorting as she opens her mouth to say, "Okay, okay. Just friends. You wanna come help me again? We need to do inventory now."

Relaxing, Zoey nods, stepping up next to Ma as she turns to go, "Yeah, that sounds fun."

When Ma is distracted, Zoey glances over her shoulder again to where Darren disappeared.

—

That night, Ma ropes Zoey into helping for supper. They had a few fresh veggies and some meat from a stag someone managed to track and kill. Ma wants to make a stew and Zoey wants to learn.

Dad is late but Ma doesn't seem to be worried. Zoey tries not to worry either. He's sometimes later than normal. Nothing to worry about.

Zoey chops the veggies as Ma directs, stirring the pan of sizzling meat with drool threatening to pour out of her mouth. Ma keeps up a steady stream of conversation that Zoey just listens to. She notices that Ma tends to just keep talking when she's worried about Dad. Maybe she finds it comforting. Zoey sure does, more than happy to have the silence filled in with something.

As it is, they mix everything together in a large pot and leave it to boil.

“Ma, did Dad say anything about that weird symbol?” Zoey asks as they clean up.

“No, sweetie,” Ma answers with a frown. “He’s still looking into it, I’m afraid.”

Zoey nods, accepting that with some resignation. She won’t be allowed out until he finds out... and he may never find out. What a bummer.

With supper simmering on the stove and Dad still not home, Zoey suggests they play a game.

"Not Connect Four," Ma allows as she sits at the table. "I want to win too, you heathen."

Zoey grins as she goes to the shelf, "Come on, Ma. I'll go easy on you."

Ma snorts, "Yeah, okay."

Giggling, Zoey grabs a deck of cards instead and pads back to the table, "Go Fish?"

Ma tilts her head and then nods, "Shouldn't be able to outmanoeuvre me on that game."

They play three rounds as the stew cooks. With Dad still not home, they set the table and sit to eat. Ma barely touches hers, instead absently dipping her spoon into the broth. Halfway done hers, Zoey pauses, "Where did Dad go?"

Ma was apparently deep in thought because she jerks a little at the question, "Hm? Oh, he went-"

Just then, the door opens. Ma cuts off and stands, quickly walking around the table. Zoey looks, seeing Dad walk in, exhausted. Food forgotten, Zoey stands as well, wondering where Dad went to look like that. They murmur to each other, stopping when Zoey gets near. Ma looks at her, face sad and something about that makes Zoey's chest tighten.

"Dad?" Zoey ventures hesitantly.

Dad sighs, patting Ma's hand gently and nodding at her, "I have some news."

Zoey perks up, heart thumping, anticipation coiling.

"It's confirmed that Harry was held at the community I mentioned a few days ago," Dad starts, eyes watching Zoey's face. She nods for him to continue. "The thing is…" Dad sighs, dropping his eyes and Zoey's chest turns to ice. "The military got to him first. I'm sorry, Zo."

Something cracks, deep inside. Zoey becomes numb, a high pitched tone piercing her ears and muffling all sound. Spots appear in her vision, slowly clouding over until she knows nothing.