Chapter 6
Chapter 6
Zoey crouches behind some bushes and looks at the factory before her. The fence is broken up - again - and there are large holes in the walls. Looks like the bombs hit this place hard. There are a few biters wandering about but it seems like this one is also a dud.
Zoey glances around and sees Negan waving at her. She slithers out from the bush and makes her way back to him. This is their third day out here and they've yet to find a good enough place to stay.
"What?" Zoey asks when she's close enough. All of their moods have taken a nosedive, since none of them got any decent sleep in a while.
"Watch it," Negan warns tiredly. "Lucille says she has something."
Zoey sighs and drops it, not wanting to waste energy fighting. She's been drawing hers and Harry's shared symbols all over the place but she's yet to get any responding symbols anywhere. Negan leads her back to their temporary camp, atop a radio tower with a small walkway near the top. Negan has to boost her up to get up there but it's nonetheless a good place to hide.
It also has a great view. It's the only reason Zoey has been allowed to wander around alone. Lucille can see her within the area rather easily.
Lucille is on the ground and waiting for them when they get back. She looks excited and accomplished, which makes Zoey feel a slither of excitement. What made the normally exhausted woman so sprightly and eager?
"Okay, wanna share your awesome discovery with the class?" Negan asks in fond amusement as both he and Zoey stop in front of her.
Lucille grins, wide and excited, "I think I saw our new home!"
"Where?" Zoey asks, looking around.
Lucille motions in a vague direction, "I noticed something glinting in the distance and saw what looked like a tower. From what I could make out, it had a large yard and plenty of cement. Couldn't make anything else out but I'm hoping we can go check it out!"
Negan shrugs, looking at Zoey, "What you say, kid?"
She looks at both of them and also shrugs, "Let's go!"
The trip over was bare minutes, so used to moving together and moving fast. They settle in a row, crouched behind some cover, as they check out the tower-like factory rising above them. Everything is still and quiet, not even the background sounds and smells of Biters are present.
"What do you think?" Lucille asks in a hushed whisper.
"I like it," Zoey replies.
"Seems like some solid foundations going on," Negan supplies helpfully. "Let's clear it."
They climb the fence, making only a little noise and quietly slink closer. Negan goes inside first, followed by Lucille and then Zoey. Negan glances back and rounds a corner, Lucille and Zoey hot on his heels. They clear out two large-ish open rooms, not much space to hide. One has a door that they immediately go through. It opens into a hall with a set of stairs at the end.
Negan turns into the first, dark room, flashlight coming on as he does. Lucille parks just inside the room and holds the door while Zoey heads straight through the hall. She can barely hear Negan's faint, "Clear!" in the next room when a hand grasps her face over her mouth and yanks her into another room.
Zoey tries to scream but she's muffled by the hand. A large arm slithers around her stomach, pinning her one arm down, her other hand grasping the hand over her face. A husky, rancid breath warms her ear and she struggles as a tongue wets the shell. Fear, tight and encompassing, starts taking over her body as she's pulled into a dark corner and pinned to the ground.
A large body forces its way between her legs and in an instant, she remembers Harry's lesson-
"You want to create two things when dealing with someone bigger than you pinning you down. The first is space. You need to control how much space they can move around in. The second is time. You are too small to hold a bigger opponent forever but as long as you aren't alone, you need to make time for someone to find and help you."
Zoey turns her head and bites down viciously on the digits in reach, hearing the man give a rough cry of pain. As he leans back, he pulls his hand away from her mouth. “Help me!” she cries out. Zoey lifts her middle and locks her legs around the man's waist, body shaking as she desperately keeps the man in place. She cries out again, “Help!”
"If you do this… see? I can't lean down, I can't move at all. As long as you keep your core tight and your shoulders planted, I can try as much as I want. There is no way I can get back in without expending a lot of energy."
Zoey whimpers, working through the paralyzing fear to keep the dirty, desperate man from getting his way. His hand covers her mouth before she can yell again. She doesn't know where Negan and a Lucille are but she just… needs… to give them-
Zoey grunts as an arm comes down over her middle, forcing her back down for a second. The second is all the man needed to bend back over her. She cringes away from his rancid breath and bites down on his fingers again.
"Agh! Stupid bitch!" He hisses angrily, trying to pull his fingers away.
A light suddenly comes to life, blinding the man. Zoey startles at the same time, flinching as boots run up and an apoplectic Negan comes flying in, "Get off my daughter you fucking animal!"
Zoey flinches again and squeals, the man's shoulder getting crushed by a sledgehammer. Blood bursts out, the man screaming, hands pulling Zoey away from underneath. She struggles until she realizes it's Lucille, moments before the woman forcefully hides Zoey's face in her breast. Zoey stops, shaking badly, flinching at every growl of rage, wet thuds and squeals of pain. Eventually, it's just wet thuds.
"Negan," Lucille's voice is breathy. Zoey realizes Lucille has been petting her head almost zealously, distracting them both from what was happening a few feet away. "I think he's dead."
Zoey hears Negan stop, panting harshly, the drag of the sledgehammer loud in the sudden quiet. She knows, knows, the man that was trying to… is dead. Negan killed him… with a sledgehammer, for her.
The clunk of wood on cement makes Zoey flinch, "Zo… is she?"
Lucille pulls the flashlight out but doesn't let Zoey look, "Shaken up but okay, I think. Zo?"
Zoey peeks out and sees Negan, crouching down nearby. He's covered in blood, flecks and lines of it everywhere. It gives an air of ferality that his soft, unsure expression doesn't match. Zoey feels her breath catch in her throat and tears start filling her eyes. He called her...
"Zo, you okay?" Negan asks softly, shifting uncomfortably. "I'm sorry if I-"
"No!" Zoey blurts out, pushing away from Lucille and desperately grasping Negan in a tight hug. She's entirely uncaring of the blood soaking her own clothes. "Did you mean it?"
Negan wraps his arms around her in return, relief making him slump to the floor, "Mean what?"
"You said… daughter and I-" Zoey feels her throat close up with hope.
"Oh," Negan huffs, squeezing her tighter. "I meant every word, sweetheart. Both of us. Promise." He kisses the top of her head and Zoey feels her chest expand with so much love.
"I love you guys so much!" Zoey exclaims, pulling back and reaching out for Lucille as well.
"We love you too, Zo," Lucille answers, a hand finding Zoey's face and cheeks to caress lovingly.
"We did always want a kid or two," Negan quips. "Always figured it would just happen if it was meant to."
Zoey giggles, remembering their kitchen table conversation.
"So…" Zoey ventures hesitantly. "Does this mean I can call you Dad?"
Negan makes a punch out sound, like all the air left his lungs at once. He croaks, "I would be mighty happy if you did."
"And… Mom?" Zoey asks in a tiny, small voice. The title feels wrong for the kind woman that has treated Zoey with such care and concern. Her memories of her Mom are clouded before the accident but the word Mom rarely left her mouth fondly since.
Lucille answers, tone full of understanding, "Honey, I know you have some bad memories associated with your Mom. You can just call me Lucille, it's fine."
Zoey feels angry that her absentee, abandoning Mom is ruining something else for her without even being here, "No. I'm calling you Ma or Mama. Fuck my Mom."
Negan and Lucille choke and laugh, the remaining tension over the show of brutality dissipating.
"Ma, Dad…" Zoey says, their titles falling off her tongue so easily. It feels right. "Let's get this piece of shit out of here and settle in."
"Yeah?" Negan asks from the dark.
Zoey nods, "We're home."
—
Zoey did not help with the remains of the man Negan murdered.
Lucille pulls her from the room instead, “I think we both need a few minutes to... recalibrate, hm?”
“You okay?” Zoey asks her new... Ma. The title doesn’t feel as weird as it should. Though Zoey had begun thinking of them in a parental light, doesn’t mean she actually put that label on them.
Lucille leads her outside into the bright light of day and inhales deeply, “I’ll be okay, Zo. It was just-”
Scary, Zoey finishes in her mind but doesn’t say anything.
“-I felt terrified when we heard you and I swear I never seen Negan so... so angry before. I don’t even know where he got the hammer. He just... appeared with it and...” Lucille trails off, her face conflicting. She gathers herself with an inhale and smile, brittle as it is, “We’re-you’re okay. That’s all that matters, hm?”
Zoey sidles in closer and hugs Lucille around the middle, “You sure?”
Lucille wraps her arms around Zoey, “I’m sure. I don’t like what he did but...” she trails off and then squeezes tighter. “But we can’t afford to do things by the book anymore. If Negan hadn’t hurt that man, I would have. No one is hurting my baby.”
“Your baby?” Zoey giggles, pulling back.
“Damn rights,” Lucille replies, her hand smoothing back Zoey’s short curls. “Mine. Harry is too, just don’t tell him that, hm?”
Zoey smiles up at her widely, “Okay.”
Lucille pulls her in for another tight hug and then says, “Okay then. Let’s see what this place has to offer. Want to come with me?”
Zoey bobs her head in excitement but looks up at the building a little warily, “There shouldn’t be anyone else, right?”
“Well, if all that ruckus didn’t bring anyone out,” Lucille shrugs. “Did you want to wait for Negan?”
The building looms over them almost ominously and the thought of some dirty man waiting in the darkness for some hapless soul to come around makes Zoey shiver, “Yeah, actually.”
“Wait here, okay?” Lucille replies, squeezing Zoey’s should in comfort. “I’m going to check on Negan, see if he needs any help.”
Zoey would much prefer waiting outside. She allows Lucille to pull away, disappearing back inside. As she waits, she looks around the yard. There is quite a lot of cement but a section is entirely dirt. It’s not large, by any means, but it’s something. Zoey has a feeling it will be too small to grow enough food in. The entire place is surrounded by fence, with a convenient gate on the other side from which they came. From her place, she can see a dirt road disappearing into trees and wonders if the road leads back into Washington. While they haven’t technically left the city, they are in the outskirts. There are far less buildings out here, mainly factories and such. This place, whatever it may have been, has obviously been abandoned or out of use for a long time.
Thankfully, none of the bombs made it close to here, so the immediate area is intact. There’s a shed like building near the edge of the fence line and a set of stairs leading down into another area closer to a large open garage-like area. Zoey wanders over, curiously peeking into the gloom. Her eyes don’t adjust well but she does see that the opening narrows to one side door at the other end. Glancing at the door Lucille disappeared into, Zoey wanders into that open room. The floors are full of garbage and there are barrels everywhere. She weaves through them and looks through the door, finding an enclosed, fenced off space behind it. She likes it, stepping into the open space with a smile. The one side is entirely building but the fences are tall, probably taller than Negan. It would make a cool hang out area, she thinks.
“Zoey?!”
Jumping, Zoey hurries back through the door, calling out, “I’m here!” as she quickly weaves back through the barrels. She emerges from the dark garage to find Lucille hurrying towards her with relief.
“My goodness,” Lucille says, hand on her chest. “You scared me.”
“Sorry,” Zoey replies contritely. “I was just checking this out.”
“What did you find?” Lucille asks, laying a hand on Zoey’s shoulder.
“I don’t really know. It’s like, a garage full of these barrels and the door in the back goes to this small little fenced off place.”
“Hm,” Lucille hums. “You’ll have to show me later. Negan will be back right away.”
“Is he okay?” Zoey asks her.
Lucille’s grip firms a little and then she rubs Zoey’s back, “He’ll be okay. He doesn’t regret it but these things are sometimes hard to process.”
Lucille sounds so sure . Zoey doesn’t know if she’s capable of killing anyone, even if it’s to protect someone she loves. If the man hadn’t tried hurting her, they could have come to some agreement, joined up maybe? Then Negan wouldn’t have had to kill him. Zoey feels like Negan had the choice to not kill him and did anyway because it was Zoey the man was trying to hurt.
“What’s the matter?”
“I feel like Negan shouldn’t have killed him,” Zoey answers hesitantly, afraid of saying the wrong thing.
“Why do you say that?” Lucille doesn’t sound angry; her tone is curious and lacking any judgment that Zoey had been afraid of.
Zoey shrugs, “I don’t know. It’s just... he killed someone. And yeah, he was going to hurt me but did that mean he had to die?”
“Zoey...” Lucille pauses, as if trying to chew on her words. “One of the things Negan hates the most in the world is people who hurt other people in a sexual way. Now, it doesn’t excuse his actions in any way but this world isn’t the old one. As much as I hate to say it, if he had let that man live, he would have gone on to do that to someone else. He probably would have cornered you somewhere down the line and he probably would have been far more careful about it. It’s hard to say but what I do know is that Negan... and you and... me, I guess, are going to have to do some hard things to protect each other from now on. We aren’t gonna like it but that’s the way of things now.”
Zoey has nothing to say to that. She doesn’t even have a chance to try, Negan comes around the corner of the building. He’s mostly cleaned of blood; his face is clear but his gloves and shoes are flecked. He did take time to get changed into clean clothes. The sledgehammer he found is still in hand, the head hanging near to the ground. There is still blood on it, dark and dry, reminding Zoey that Negan isn’t as harmless as he makes himself out to be. Zoey finds herself unafraid of the possibility of him turning it on her; she’s just wary on whose life it will take next in the name of protection. There can’t be all bad people out here, can there?
“Hey, my girl,” Negan greets casually, standing the weapon on its head and leaving it behind. Zoey accepts the bear hug, feeling better almost instantly. “Ready to explore?”
“Yeah,” Zoey replies, pulling back. Negan clasps Lucille’s hand and kisses the back of it. Lucille sighs, squeezing his hand back with a tremulous smile.
“Okaly-dokaly,” Negan says, pulling Lucille along towards the building, Zoey following. “Let’s see what we have here.”
---
The place is empty, no Biters or other humans to be found. There aren’t many rooms, per se but they are pretty big in size. Most have dusty furniture inside, some are obvious storage rooms. The further up they explore, the smaller the rooms become until they hit the very top. A long hallway stretches along, one side filled with windows and the other with a single door near the middle. The end has a door as well, with an EXIT sign above.
The first door yields a sort of... apartment with three bedrooms. Well, two bedrooms, the middle room showing to be for storage. A bathroom and shower, kitchenette and den. The furniture is a little posh and dusty from disuse but it was obviously a living space for someone. Lucille checks the cupboards and can’t help her grin at the untouched food. How did that man not find all this stuff?
“We don’t have to worry about food for a while,” Lucille hums in delight, checking every cupboard. The shelves are full of nonperishable foods, how lucky can they get?
Negan comes out from the back rooms, “The water work?”
Lucille tries the tap but frowns in disappointment when nothing happens, “No.”
“That’s fine, we’ll figure something out,” Negan assures, looking around. “I like this place. We should just settle in here.”
Zoey explores the middle room, finding it almost claustrophobic with no window. There are only a few boxes and some furniture but it would serve as a bedroom if needed. She listens to Negan and Lucille talk to each other as she explores the end room. It’s a little bigger than the middle room and has a window. A small cot against the wall, a small side table, a dresser and a mirror but not much else. She likes it.
“What do you think, Zo?” Negan asks her from the other room.
“I’m calling dibs on this room,” Zoey calls back, gaining some chuckles. She sits on the bed and eyes the window. The sun is lower than she’d like and knows they won’t have time to make a run today. She feels disappointed at that; she wanted to go do some symbols as soon as they made a decision. However, their exploration of this place took too long and now she can’t go anywhere.
“Zo?” Lucille calls out.
“Coming!” Zoey calls back, standing with one last look out the window.
Tomorrow for sure.
---
Except Zoey is stuck with Lucille because Negan feels uncomfortable leaving either of them alone in the factory. Zoey tries to fight him on it but he pulls out the “Lucille still isn’t a hundred percent, you know?” card, making her swallow her arguments. It seems to make Negan happy, at least.
“Hey, you wanna go snoop?” Lucille asks with a mischievous grin.
Zoey can’t help the feeling of excitement, “Yeah!”
They start with the middle room. Nothing of real note, except clothes that don’t really fit anyone well. Lucille sets them aside to hem later. Papers with numbers and words that make no sense to either of them. Those are set aside as kindle for future fires. A pair of dirty, if high brand shoes that again, doesn’t really fit anyone. Some knickknacks that seem strange out of context and some boxes labelled JUNK – TBTO. Broken items greet their peeks, so they leave those boxes alone. Why anyone would keep boxes of broken things, neither of them can puzzle out.
With that done and nothing to really snoop into, they head out. The far door is actually the rooftop access, giving them a spectacular view of the surrounding area. They spend way too long just gazing out over the broken city skyline in the distance.
When they pull themselves away from the view, they retreat back inside and head down another floor. Each room clearly had a use at some point but what the use would have been escapes the girls as they poke into every drawer and cupboard. First aid kits are found everywhere, random assortments of clothes like gloves and shirts, with abandoned coffee cups and dishes. Thankfully nothing questionable is growing on anything but it does beg the question of how long this place has been abandoned. The dust in these rooms is thicker than the ones upstairs. Was someone squatting here before everything went down? Why would they leave their things here?
However, no matter how they looked, snooped and explored the interior of the factory, they found no other sign of habitation.
Though the place is dusty and dirty, obviously abandoned for a time and neglected... something about it makes Lucille’s eyes shine. The woman makes comments about what a room could be used for, wistfulness in her voice and eyes that speak of a mounting dream. Zoey likes the picture Lucille is painting with her words, of a community of people coming together to live, instead of survive. Like a breathing picture it paints itself in Zoey’s inner eye, colors as vibrant as her imagination can draw, of people greeting each other with smiles and working together, like a cog in one giant machine. All of them, everyone, working for the benefit of all, instead of just the one.
“We’d just have to name it,” Lucille says wistfully as they ascend back up to the top floor. Negan should be back soon from his run, hopefully – Zoey refused to think otherwise, so they decide to wait on the roof. They’d see Negan returning far sooner than the man would be able to reach them or see them, so it seems like a great idea. “Got any ideas?”
Zoey shrugs, “Not really. Do you?”
Lucille makes a sound, not really answering as she pushes open the rooftop stair door. They head up, the trip quick and in no time at all, settled at the railing and staring over the horizon.
“I’m going to ask Negan. Something about this place feels safe, you know?” Lucille asks cheerfully, smiling at nothing in particular.
“I like it up here, at least,” Zoey allows, leaning into Lucille’s side. She bravely twines their arms together.
“I want people to feel safe here, too,” Lucille comments dreamily, idly rubbing Zoey’s arm. “What do you think?”
Zoey’s mood plummets when she blurts out, “I want to find Harry.”
Lucille looks down, smile now brittle, “Me too, sweetie. We’ll start in earnest once we’re properly settled in, okay?”
“Promise?” Zoey asks plaintively.
Lucille looks at her intently, “Promise. If Negan doesn’t take you, I will.”
Mollified, Zoey drops the subject. From up here, the world seems a little bit smaller. Her problems seem so big at ground level but even now, don’t seem to be any less daunting. She stares out over the distant city skyline and wonders where, in those dilapidated, destroyed streets filled with hungry Biters and desperate Survivors, Harry could have been taken. Did he escape? Is he okay? So much of the unknown and she has no answers. She can only hope and believe that Harry will find them or she will find him.
Negan said Harry is going to need her belief. He’s going to need every inch of it. Zoey vows to keep hoping and believing, stubbornly thinking that he will feel it and follow it home. She will go out and slap their symbol on every surface she can. She’ll need to go out as frequently as possible to check for return symbols but-
She will. Every day if she can. It will be good practice, if nothing else.
Oblivious to Zoey’s inner thoughts, Lucille perks up and points out an approaching figure. They duck down and watch intently. Lucille breathes out a sigh of relief when Negan’s indecipherable voice drifts up to them.
“Negan’s back,” Lucille announces unnecessarily, sounding far more cheerful. “We should wait in the house, hm?”
Zoey follows, taking one last look at the horizon.
---
“Didn’t find much, supplies or otherwise. I think we’re pretty alone out here, though they could have been hiding pretty fucking easily. I wasn’t about to go into any dark places randomly to check,” Negan rambles on as he empties his bag of the goodies he pilfered from the area. Though they don’t really need food, what Negan had been really looking out for was potential places to loot later down the line. “Area seems to be intact. I’d say none of the bombs really made it out here. I don’t know who that fucker was but he seems to be the only other person out here. No one else showed up today?”
“No,” Lucille answers, arranging the supplies properly for a better idea of what he brought back. “Not as far as we know. We did some exploring but didn’t see or hear anyone.”
“You see any weird symbols around?” Zoey asks.
Negan glances at her, “No, sorry Zo. Nothing.”
“You even know what they look like?” Zoey asks irritably, crossing her arms.
Negan chuckles, “Yeah, kid. Harry made sure I knew.”
Deflating, Zoey sighs and retreats to her room. The empty white walls are almost mocking. How, she doesn’t know. She sits on the cot, missing Harry acutely. Between conversations, every other moment is silent. Too silent. His absence is a yawning void next to her. How is it that she has lived her entire life without him, not knowing him and his love and warmth but a few months of it has her feeling so terrible and sad? How is it that she has become so dependant on being in his orbit that his absence has sent her careening into nothingness?
Zoey startles out of her thoughts at a knock on her door. Lucille stands there, holding something in her half closed hand, “Can I come in?”
“I guess,” Zoey answers, feeling out of sorts but shuffles aside to make room for her. Lucille sits down carefully.
“There’s no way for us to keep track of the days,” Lucille says, bringing her hand over to Zoey’s and dropping something in her palm. “Harry wanted you to have this for your birthday but it doesn’t feel right to wait ‘til then to give it to you.”
Zoey feels her throat close up when she realizes just what she was given. Abuela ’s necklace rests in the palm of her hand, glimmering dimly in the scant light of her room. Zoey shakily fingers the cross, remembering the kind older woman she had been so fond of. It hurts, still, to think about them... about her. Their deaths hit Zoey very hard and it was still tough for her to work through it. Seeing this reminder, wondering how Harry got it – Zoey sniffs, tears escaping silently as she unlocks the clasp and puts it on. It doesn’t matter how Harry got it. She sniffs again as it drops a little to rest on her chest and then grabs the cross to hold it tight, squeezing her eyes closed in prayer like Abuela showed her.
It’s not much but somehow, Zoey feels better.
“Thank you, Ma,” Zoey whispers, wiping her cheeks. She hadn’t realized the older woman had her arm around her. She leans into the contact with a sigh.
Lucille tightens her hold for a moment, “You’re welcome, sweetheart. Get some sleep, okay?”
Zoey nods, laying down and playing with the cross delicately, “Goodnight.”
Lucille leaves. Zoey plays with the necklace and finally allows herself to remember and grieve for the loss of a family she had been building, of a community she felt proud to be part of, even for a short while. She hadn’t allowed herself until now, keeping a firm lid on her emotions and sometimes even pretending it didn’t happen... but now, with Abuela ’s necklace in her fingers, the sheer wall of loss finally topples over her. She never grieved her Mom properly, more in denial and lingering shock and how could she? sprinkled generously with the bitter taste of betrayal. She actively tries to avoid thinking about her most times. Abuela was special to Zoey not because of the treats she got or the poker games they played. It was because Abuela had been the first woman to see Zoey for what she is; lonely and scared and in need of maternal touch.
Abuela made Zoey feel like she had always been her granddaughter, pulling her in for a hug and teasing her gently. Doting on her every time they see each other, wide smiles and withered hands absently straightening Zoey’s shirt. It was always followed by compliments, sounding so genuine and honest that Zoey didn’t have the heart to deny.
She misses them, she realizes. All of them but mostly Abuela. She misses their games, their stand-offs and their victories over each other in bluffing. Sneaking her share of the candy to Zoey under the table with a conspiratorial wink. Teaching her some swear words in both languages. Checking to make sure Zoey had enough to eat, always commenting about her growing big and strong.
Zoey misses her fiercely.
It took a long time to sleep that night.
---
She wakes from a nightmare somewhere near dawn. What it was, exactly, slips away from her but it leaves her too shaken to sleep again. Before she gets up, she listens intently for any sounds in the house. It doesn’t take long for her ears to start ringing in the absolute silence.
The silence was the hardest thing to get used to when this all started. It never occurred to her how loud the world had been until it went away. Harry kept the silence at bay with his muttering at all hours. She drew a lot of comfort from it, from him in general, really.
Zoey misses Harry fiercely as well.
Not hearing her parents moving around, Zoey slips from the bed, wiping her face clear of the lingering salt. She dresses as quietly as she can, grabbing her bag and easing it over her shoulder. She opens her door, listening intently again for any indication that they are awake. Nothing moves, no whisper of shoe or bare foot on the floor. The door at the end of the hall is closed; they are still sleeping, then.
Good.
Zoey doesn’t even use the toilet. She tip-toes to the door and grabs her shoes, quietly slipping through the door. At the top of the stairs, she pauses throw her shoes down and step into them. After adjusting, she quietly descends until she is forced to stop.
There is something large and sturdy blocking the only door down from here. It is far too big and heavy for her to even wedge out a bit to see what it is. She honestly should have seen this coming. No one is awake. No one is on watch. The only door is blocked quite efficiently with something she will never be able to move on her own.
Damn it.
Zoey twists her lips and trudges back upstairs in defeat.
Neither of them have woken up in the bare minutes she stepped out. Zoey toes off her shoes and pads into the bathroom. Though they don’t have the means to flush just yet, she needs to go somewhere . Then, she returns to her room, sitting on the empty cot despondently. She was so close to sneaking out. Next time for sure.
---
Zoey dozes until she hears Lucille get up. Then, she stretches and leaves her room, meeting the older woman at the door to the bathroom just as she steps out. Lucille startles, nearly swearing as she jerks into the door frame. Zoey grimaces at accidentally scaring her but before the teen can even start to apologize, Negan stumbles out of the bedroom in only his underwear, eyes glazed from sleep sweeping the room dazedly, “Wha’s h’pen?”
Lucille recovers quickly, “It’s fine, dear. Just a bit startled. You can go back to bed, if you like.”
Negan’s eyes droop and he yawns, “Ya?”
“Yes, honey,” Lucille replies warmly, sweeping past Zoey to sooth her clearly exhausted husband. She gently herds him back into the room, “I’ll wake you when food is ready, okay?”
Negan grumbles, indecipherable, but goes. Lucille closes the door with barely a sound and then smiles at Zoey tiredly, “Sorry, sweetie. Just surprised me.”
“I’m sorry, Lu-Ma,” Zoey slips a little and feels a bit shy about it all of a sudden. “I didn’t mean to.”
Lucille gives her a hug, the comfort Zoey draws from it soothes the lingering discontent left over from the nightmare she can’t remember, “We’re both okay. Wanna help me figure out breakfast?”
Zoey pulls away, “Sure.”
By the time Lucille wakes Negan, it’s like a mini spread just for them. Everything is canned but it’s fruits and beans and even some salmon. She loves salmon.
As she eats, Zoey studies the interior again. It’s not a bad place to live in, she supposes. The height is certainly awesome but so is the ability to sneak out. She doesn’t think they would agree to let her have her own place a floor down. It would certainly make her plans a lot easier.
She’s determined. She will find Harry. She has to believe that she will find him. She can’t bare to think of the what ifs. They might drown her beneath guilt and doubt by the sheer number. Negan said that Harry is going to need every inch of her belief to make it home and she feels the need to believe in that, strongly.
He has to come back.