Meeting
“It’s difficult.”
Connecting her soul to Sarek’s had made it easier to understand Vulcan methods of shielding. Implementing them, however, was a separate problem.
“Be more specific.”
Ugh. “It’s. It feels the opposite of my reflexes.”
“New habits can be formed with patience and repetition,” said Sarek.
“It feels…”
Sarek waited patiently, eyebrow raised.
“...indefensible,” finished Hari.
“Living one’s life braced for imminent attack is not healthy.”
Hari suppressed an urge to yell constant vigilance. She sighed instead.
“So what am I supposed to do?”
“Practice. It will become a habit, and the fear will lessen.”
Ugh.
________________________________________
Hari found herself poking at Sarek’s soul – katra, she corrected herself – like a loose tooth or hangnail.
Sarek didn’t seem to mind. He was like an ocean: vast, deep, and imperturbable by one person.
“Is something wrong?” asked Amanda.
Hari fidgeted. “No?”
“T’Aria?”
“Do you know that feeling, when you’re waiting for the other shoe to drop?”
“What shoe?” asked Sarek.
Spock answered. “It is an old human idiom from the 19th century, Father, in which renters could hear their upstairs neighbor take off a shoe, drop it, and then wait for the inevitable sound of the second shoe to impact the floor.”
Hari stared at Spock.
Amanda cleared her throat after a few more seconds than politeness allowed had lapsed.
“You haven’t asked about…anything,” muttered Hari, looking away. “Do you not want to know about…”
“Indeed,” said Sarek, as if one word said everything.
“We want to know everything,” whispered Amanda.
“But you haven’t asked?”
“Nor will we,” Sarek said sternly. “You are recovering from a fatal wound. We will not risk any harm, or – as you would say – soul pain, by satisfying curiosity prematurely.”
“It is more than idle curiosity,” said Spock.
“More like desperation,” said Amanda.
“But we will wait,” Sarek said, almost like a warning to the others.
Hari took a deep breath. They wanted something but wouldn’t force her because they cared about her health and wellbeing above all. She couldn’t quite wrap her head around that. It was too good to be true.
________________________________________
Hari knocked on a door.
“Enter.”
“Hi. Captain Pike?”
“Hello. Can I help you?”
“I just wanted to thank you.”
Pike looked confused, so Hari kept going. “It wasn’t on purpose, but I interrupted your class the other day. I’m Spock’s sister. Hari. I just wanted to thank you for helping and getting me to the hospital and everything.”
Pike smiled and waved her toward a chair inside his office.
“It was no trouble,” said Pike. “I’m glad to see you looking well.”
“Thanks,” said Hari, smiling.
Pike’s gaze stayed on her smile for a few beats longer than expected.
“Commander Spock reported that you grew up away from Vulcan. How is the reintroduction to Vulcan culture going?”
Hari sighed. “How many ears do you have?”
Pike blinked. “Pardon?”
“Three. The left ear. The right ear. And the final front ear.”
Pike blinked again, barked out a laugh, and then groaned. “That was bad.”
Hari gave a toothy grin. “I’m learning. I find Vulcan life to be rather beautiful so far. But I doubt they’ll think the same of me. Smiling. Joking. It’s not their norm. Despite their claims of logic, most have a knee jerk reaction of seeing me as emotional, uncouth, and dumb. And those are the few I’ve met at a Vulcan embassy. On Earth.”
Pike gave a half smile. “You’ll find your way.”
“It’s not going to be easy, but I think it’ll be worth it. And Spock and my parents are there to help.”
“Mr. Spock is the finest first officer I’ve worked with,” nodded Pike.
“Spock is the best. Seriously. The best big brother ever.”
A man in a red uniform barged into the room without knocking. He was blonde, handsome, broad-chested but trim. Something niggled at the back of Hari’s mind.
“I’ve been trying to schedule another Kobiashi Maru test, but the assistant has been saying it’s not possible for several weeks without telling me why. And–hello.” The man cut off after seeing Hari.
“Cadet Kirk,” sighed Pike. “Do come in.”
Kirk smiled sheepishly, but took a seat next to Hari. “Have we met?”
Tilting her head, Hari said, “I doubt it.”
Pike rubbed his forehead. “Kirk, the instructor who created the Kobiashi Maru simulation this year had to take a short leave of absence. Scheduling should resume soon. Haven’t you already taken it?”
“Twice.”
Pike frowned. “Twice? And you want to take it again?”
“I didn’t pass.”
“No one passes.”
“And don’t you find that odd?” Kirk was practically vibrating with energy.
“Did you learn anything?” blurted Hari.
Kirk’s eyes snapped in her direction. “What?”
“Have you learned anything since the second test?”
“Yeah. That the test is rigged.”
“Rigged?”
Kirk huffed. “No matter what a student does, they fail. The simulation counters everything so the student fails.”
“Sounds like a competent enemy.”
Kirk’s head snapped back. “What?”
“You’re forced to fight on their turf.” Hari thought of the graveyard. “They have overwhelming force. You react to their actions, but always too little, too late. They planned it all out in advance.” Harry thought of Moody. “The best way to stay alive is to never walk into their trap in the first place.”
Kirk scowled. “It’s required. And makes everyone feel like a failure.”
“You don’t have to feel what the enemy wants you to feel,” murmured Hari.
“Vulcans take pride in being unfeeling,” said Kirk, almost with a sneer.
Pike opened his mouth to interject, but Hari beat him to it.
“You’re wrong.”
“Am I?”
“Yes.”
“Because they don’t feel pride?” It was almost a taunt.
“No.” Hari thought and then shrugged. “Maybe? But no.”
“Tell me then.”
Well, if Kirk was going to throw down a gauntlet…
“I can make shields that essentially cut my senses off. Take a walk but not smell anything. Get nourishment from food but not taste anything. Touch someone with bare skin without feeling their mind. A life protecting myself from pain or being overwhelmed.”
Hari stood up and kept talking. “But…Vulcans don’t do that. They barely shield so they can still feel everything to the fullest.”
“Like…?” Kirk’s eyebrow was raised.
“Like…they don’t shield their sense of taste; they eat food that is a riot of flavor.”
“Vulcan food is tasteless.”
Hari huffed. “To you. Not to me. Human food is downright painful for me.”
Kirk frowned.
“And touch. Vulcan’s don’t casually touch. They don’t shake hands. It’s so when they do touch…” Hari stretched her hand in front of Kirk’s chest, almost touching. “...they feel everything.”
“So Vulcans are sensual,” smirked Kirk.
Pike cleared his throat. “Hari, are you spending the day with your brother?”
Hari blinked. “Oh. I’ll join him for lunch. I should probably head that way.” Hari stood and walked to the door. “Thanks again, Captain Pike. Nice to meet you, Kirk.”
Pike smiled and waved, and she wandered down the hall.
________________________________________
Hari was lightly meditating in Spock’s office. Practicing Vulcan shielding was a lot of work. Especially when everything inside of her was shrieking that it wasn’t safe or secure enough.
A student entered Spock’s office hours. Hari didn’t follow too much of the discussion, but it was clear that the student was taken with Spock. Someone was hot for teacher. Ugh. That was her brother.
“Spock?”
“T’Aria?”
“You know that girl has a crush on you, right?”
“A crush?”
“Yes? Some sort of romantic feelings?”
“Cadet Uhura is a dedicated, driven student. She is interested in the material, not me.”
Riiiiight.
Spock continued. “How are your shields coming?”
And that was a glaringly obvious change of subject, but Hari went with it.
“Eh. So-so.”
Spock did not appreciate this lack of specificity, and let it be known with a raised eyebrow.
Hari huffed.
An electronic device chimed on Spock’s desk. He rapidly stood and moved to the door.
“There has been a distress call from Vulcan.”
Hari stood. “A distress call. What’s wrong?”
“Unclear. Stay here and our parents will collect you.”
“Not happening.”
“T’Aria, you are not trained for this. I cannot spend more time in this conversation.”
“Vulcan is my planet that I don’t even remember. And it’s in danger. I can help.”
“It is not possible to gain access for you to be aboard a ship with so little–”
Hari cut Spock off. “I’m going. Either I go with you, and you know where I am, or I sneak aboard.”
Spock walked in silence for several seconds. Jogged, really.
“Very well. You will stay with me and do as I say.”
Yeah. Because that was Hari’s strong suit. She ran a few steps to keep up with Spock.
They were headed to Vulcan. Hari was going home.