Gifts & Guilt
“Harry, we need to talk.”
Harry spun around in Wednesday’s desk chair, surprised by Enid’s appearance. He was waiting on Wednesday to get back from… wherever it was she went when Harry had to work, and had been studying Sarah Potter’s book of spells in the meantime to shake off his odd evening.
Miss Thornhill was always friendly and outgoing, often chatting to Harry while they worked, but she’d been different that day, more… pushy.
She asked him if he felt like he was making friends or if the other ‘outcasts’ were making him unwelcome and when Harry said that he had a few friends finally, Miss Thornhill had seemed unhappy about it. Which was peculiar, because Dr. Kinbott and Principal Weems were thrilled by Harry’s friendships.
Sarah Potter’s spell book had been a good distraction. Harry flipped through the pages, reading up on different spells. He found three, underlined twice each, that he needed Wednesday to translate for him that were on a page by themselves.
Hopefully, one of them would be something to help Sirius because Harry trying to force him to heal hadn’t done more than get him off ECMO and leave him on a vent in a coma.
“Hi, Enid,” Harry said with a practiced smile. It was getting easier and easier to smile at people, with as much practice as Harry had gotten recently. Between sessions with Dr. Kinbott and after work dates with Tyler, plus chatting with Xavier in the boys dorms and hanging out with Enid in Wednesday’s room, Harry had more friends than he’d ever envisioned one bloke could have.
Enid didn’t smile back though, which made Harry nervous. She had her arms crossed and a folder tucked in them with a solemn expression on her face. Harry shrunk back in his chair, subtly scooting closer to the desk and further from Enid.
“I’m sorry,” Harry blurted, looking at Enid’s sparkling nails instead of her face. “I’m in here too much, aren’t I? I’ll go. I’m sorry.”
Harry was halfway out of his seat when Enid pushed him back down, causing him to flinch, and she laughed.
“Don’t be silly, we like having you here,” she said. “But, before Wednesday gets back, we need to talk about tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow?” Harry asked her, mystified. “What’s- what’s tomorrow?”
It was a Friday, which meant Harry got to go see Dr. Kinbott and maybe Tyler if he was working, which he usually did on Friday afternoons. Then, if Harry didn’t spend too long at the Weathervane, he could go to the hospital and sit with Sirius for a bit before the new earlier curfew all the Nevermore students had.
If Wednesday agreed to it all, considering none of the students were allowed to be out on their own anymore.
Enid rolled her eyes much more dramatically than Wednesday usually did.
“Tomorrow is Friday October 13th,” Enid stressed, as if Harry were too dim to track the date himself. “Wednesday’s birthday?” she said, when Harry clearly hadn’t figured it out yet.
Harry blinked and his mouth popped open.
Tomorrow was Wednesday’s birthday and Harry didn’t know? That… that was terrible! Harry frowned when he considered how upset Wednesday would be if everyone forgot to celebrate her birthday. She’d feel like nobody cared about her, like her life didn’t matter because nobody even marked the milestones for her.
Harry was a terrible friend.
“I had no idea,” Harry said, stricken. He ran his hands through his hair, tugging lightly at the dark locks. “I don’t even have a gift for her!”
“Boys,” Enid sighed. She shook her head at Harry with obvious disappointment. “You need to learn sign language so you can communicate with Thing, he’s the one who told me about her birthday.”
Harry carefully didn’t grimace. He knew that Wednesday and Thing were friends, but Thing kind of creeped Harry out. He didn’t think he’d be very pleased if he died one day and someone reanimated his hand to crawl around and take orders from a teenage girl.
“I was going to ask you what your ideas for Wednesday’s party were, but apparently you don’t have any,” Enid went on. “Okay, okay, fine, I’ll plan everything! Luckily for you, I love planning parties!”
“Oh, good,” Harry sighed in relief. “Nothing too… er…” Harry sent a pointed look at Enid’s side of the girls’ room, a colorful contrast to Wednesday’s simple and dark aesthetic.
“Oh, please,” Enid scoffed. “I think I know how to plan a party Wednesday would like. You need to go get her a gift. Oh! And invite people! Pretty please?”
Harry’s brows furrowed and he gave Enid a bewildered look. “You know my best mates are Wednesday and my therapist, right? I- I don’t think I’m a good person to hand out party invites.”
“Ouch!” Enid put a hand over her heart and grimaced at Harry. “And here I thought you and I were becoming such close friends.”
“We are,” Harry assured her quickly, not wanting to hurt her feelings. “Do you want to go to town with me? I’m going to get Wednesday a gift.”
And he had to do it that day because Wednesday would be with him the next day and Harry wanted to have it wrapped before whatever party Enid was planning.
“I can’t,” Enid said with a toss of her hair and a flash of a bright smile. “I have a party to plan. Here,” Enid handed Harry a dozen pieces of thick black paper, “hand these out. And don’t forget to get an escort, Wednesday will throw a hissy fit if you walk alone.”
“And I’ll get in trouble with Principal Weems,” Harry pointed out. He checked his watch and saw he had two hours to curfew, which was plenty of time to walk to town, find a gift for Wednesday, and get back.
If he could find someone to go with him.
“Which is worse, Wednesday or Weems being mad at you?” Enid asked while she bounced over to her desk and began spreading her party plans all over the place.
Principal Weems, no question. Even though she was nosy and brisk and sometimes lacking all tact, Wednesday was Harry’s best mate, his cousin, and she’d never been outright cruel to him. Not that Principal Weems had either, but Harry trusted Wednesday much more.
“Will you tell Wednesday I’ll be back later?” Harry asked Enid. He bookmarked the page he was interested in and closed the spell book and safely slid it back in Wednesday’s desk drawer. “I’ll see if Xavier will walk with me.”
“Have fuuuun,” Enid called to his back. “And don’t forget to hand out invites, Harry!”
Harry looked at the invites he had in his hand and wondered who he was meant to hand them to. Xavier, Tyler, maybe Ajax?
If Harry didn’t have more than a handful of friends, Wednesday only had two. Who Enid planned on handing all the invites to was a mystery to Harry.
Harry stuffed them in his bag and shrugged, Wednesday would probably prefer a smaller party anyway, she wasn’t a big fan of people.
*****
Wednesday returned to her room, fuming and furious.
What good were psychic visions if Wednesday couldn’t use them to solve mysteries?
“Where have you been?” Enid asked Wednesday when she stomped angrily in their room.
“Everywhere,” Wednesday said briskly. “The cemetery, the woods, even the murder sites for the monster’s victims and nothing! Not one single vision that would help me find the monster’s identity any sooner!”
Enid had been sitting at her desk in her fuzzy pink chair and she spun it around with an unwarranted dramatic gasp to gawk at Wednesday.
“Wednesday! Have you been walking around by yourself? How could you? What if you’d been attacked?”
Wednesday ignored her trivial questions and paced while she muttered to herself about the current matter of importance.
“Why is it not working? My visions before have all been centered around Crackstone, the monster, and Harry… because they’re all connected somehow,” Wednesday mused. “Me… Harry… Crackstone… the monster… what do we all have in common?”
Thing tapped out a rude insinuation on the floor that Wednesday ignored.
“There must be something, something I’m not seeing,” Wednesday said. She stomped a black boot on the wooden floor in aggravation. “What deity do I need to summon from purgatory to discover how this is all tied together?!”
“Uh… maybe don’t summon any deities from purgatory?” Enid suggested meekly from her desk, interrupting Wednesday’s thoughts.
“Do you have a better plan?!” Wednesday demanded, spinning around to pin Enid with an irritated scowl.
Enid shrugged before smiling, her teeth white against her new shade of dark pink lip gloss.
“Ooh! You mentioned Crackstone, have you been to his crypt yet? It’s super spooky, exactly your vibe!”
“Crackstone has a crypt?” Wednesday asked, pausing her racing mental thoughts to focus on what Enid was saying. “In Jericho?”
“Yep,” Enid popped her lips, clearly trying to distract Wednesday with the annoying noise. “Oh em gee, I have a great idea! Maybe we can go tomorrow night and check it out? See if you can get any visions there?”
Wednesday narrowed her eyes suspiciously, but Enid’s eyes were wide and genuine, guileless and innocent.
“That’s acceptable,” Wednesday said as a way of thanks. “Have you seen Harry? He’s not still at work, is he?”
“No, he stopped by earlier and said he had plans with Xavier,” Enid shrugged, turning back to her desk. “I’m sure he’ll be back soon.”
“He better be,” Wednesday said, taking her seat at her desk. Harry was a staple in their room after classes. All week they had followed the same routine- classes, go visit Sirius Black in the hospital, return and practice Harry’s magic and attempt to force Wednesday to trigger a vision. It had been a comfortably routine the last few days and Wednesday didn’t relish having it broken.
Though, Wednesday could do without dealing with watching Harry’s emotional breakdowns every time they went to see Sirius Black and Harry was unable to heal him, but (incredibly vexingly) coffees at the coffee shop after trips to the hospital had managed to add some light to Harry’s eyes.
It wasn’t that Wednesday had anything in particular against Tyler Galpin, aside from the general disgust she held for almost all of the human race, but it was more than Wednesday could stomach to watch Harry and Tyler’s fumbling flirtations.
Pink-cheeked boys, cookies shaped like hearts, and Harry never knowing if he should look at the floor or Tyler’s face was nearly the worst torture in the world. If they could mass produce that level of discomfort and disgust, war criminals would never be the same.
Wednesday noticed her desk drawer was partially opened; she checked to see nothing was disturbed and saw the Potter-Addams spell book was crooked in the drawer. Harry had been browsing it more than working from it, always in search of a spell to cure Sirius Black.
Sirius Black who was apparently an escaped convict, a dog, and Harry’s godfather.
The man had quite the interrogation coming his way if he ever woke up from his coma.
Wednesday opened the book idly, seeing that a scrap of paper had been stuck in as a bookmark. The page Harry had been pursuing was sparse, only three spells with no explanations written down. More as something to do rather than any desire to brush up her foreign languages, Wednesday jotted down the spells and began to work on deciphering their meanings.
“Would you say us going to Crackstone’s crypt together is a date or just two roommates hanging out together?” Enid asked abruptly in an airy and nonchalant tone, causing Wednesday to inadvertently snap her pencil in half.
Apparently Wednesday was incorrect, there were situations more discomfiting than witnessing Harry and Tyler giggle like schoolgirls at each other.
*****
Harry laughed at Tyler’s impression of his coworker Wendy. He’d been strutting across the coffee shop with his hips swinging and a ridiculous pout on his lips.
“Is there anything I can get you, suuugar?” Tyler drawled at Xavier, sending Xavier to nearly fall off his stool in a fit of laughter. “Don’t forget the tip jar is on the counter, darliiiing.”
Harry quit laughing when Tyler ran his hand down Xavier’s arm in his act.
“Quit it, man,” Xavier laughed, pushing Tyler away. “How do you get tips then? Flash those dimples at everyone who walks in?”
“Nope.” Tyler sat next to Harry and put his hand on his chin and winked. “Just Harry.”
“That’s why he’s broke,” Harry said quietly, testing out of one the easy teasing jokes the other boys used so easily, “because he always gives me free coffee.”
It took just long enough for Harry to begin to feel stupid and awkward, but then Tyler and Xavier started laughing and Harry relaxed with a small smile.
If his super power used to be super awkwardness, then Harry clearly wasn’t as good at it as he used to be.
In fact, Dr. Kinbott was going to be thrilled when Harry saw her the next day. He managed to ask Xavier to walk with him, invite him to Wednesday’s birthday party, and fought his indecisiveness and insecurities to pick out a nice gift for Wednesday.
All in all, Harry had never felt so blessedly normal in his life.
“Don’t you usually work on Thursdays?” Tyler asked Harry, catching his attention when Harry had been grinning in his drink.
“Huh? Oh, yeah,” Harry nodded. “Er… Miss Thornhill didn’t seem like she felt good, so I only worked four hours today. I got paid for all five though,” he added with a pleased smile.
And even spending almost all of that day’s pay on Wednesday’s gift, Harry still had a bit to deposit in his ever growing checking account to use in the future. One day he’d spend it on rent or a car or a briefcase for some job he’d have…
He’d be able to use it on anything he wanted.
“You know, if you ever get tired of working with plants, we still have that opening here,” Tyler said. “All you’d need is a work permit signed by your principal and guardian.”
Harry actually thought that he might like to work at the coffee shop; it smelled good, it was warm, Tyler was there, Harry would get a discount on the drinks he was slowly becoming addicted to. And Principal Weems might sign Harry’s permit, she liked that Harry was ‘making connections with the normies’, but it was the guardian part that made him snort quietly.
“I don’t think my aunt and uncle would sign for me,” Harry said regretfully. “And I like the greenhouses, they’re quiet.”
“Everything you do is quiet,” Xavier said.
Tyler’s brows twitched down together. “Wait, are you not like a ward of the state or whatever?”
“Huh?” Harry turned a puzzled frown toward him. “Er… no?”
“Why would he be?” Xavier asked Tyler.
“Because of your last school,” Tyler said, stressing the word ‘school’. It was probably a subtle attempt to not bring up the lockup thing in front of Xavier, which Harry appreciated.
“My dad used to have a whole spiel about if I went to a school like that then he’d lose custody and ‘how would that make me feel?’” Tyler asked, puffing his chest out and deepening his voice dramatically. “Not that it would make a big difference,” he added with bitterness in his tone.
Xavier laughed, sounding just as suddenly bitter. “My dad would give up custody in a heartbeat if it wouldn’t make him look bad in the papers.”
“Mine would trade me for a donut,” Tyler said bluntly.
Harry’s frown deepened. “Your dad‘s really don’t like you guys?”
It was a rude question, a bit insensitive, but Wednesday had probably rubbed off on Harry.
Xavier huffed, blowing a strand of his long hair out of his face and he picked listlessly at the bagel he’d purchased.
“Mine likes me well enough when we’re both home together, but in general? No, I don’t think he enjoys being tied down by obligations.”
“And I’m too much of a reminder of my mom,” Tyler said. He eyes flashed with a quick and grey look of misery before he blinked and it was gone, leaving storm tossed blue once more.
“And I don’t have one,” Harry said glumly. “So… cheers.”
“Wow, we make a pathetic group,” Xavier laughed. He finished the rest of his drink in a swallow and stood up, stretching his back out. “Tyler, you coming to Wednesday’s thing tomorrow?”
“What thing?” Tyler asked, sound rather confused. Which was fair, because Harry forgot to invite him.
“Here.” Harry shuffled in his pocket and pulled out an invitation to give to Tyler with a shrug. “Enid’s throwing Wednesday a birthday party. You can come if you want.”
Tyler looked at the neatly written invitation and then tucked it in his back pocket. “Crackstone’s crypt is a weird place for a party,” he said.
“Is that where it’s at?” Harry asked curiously. He hadn’t even looked at the invites.
“If you’re too scared feel free to stay behind,” Xavier said with a quirked brow and a smirk.
Tyler ran a hand through his curls, messing them all up before they fell right back in place, and rolled his eyes. “I’ll be there,” he said firmly. “I’ll even bring cupcakes.”
“Maybe see if you can make some of those cupcakes with black icing?” Xavier suggested, pointing toward the glass case where a few sad cupcakes sat waiting to be thrown out at the end of the night.
“Black icing?” Tyler asked, smirking a little. “That’s going a bit far with the whole goth thing, isn’t it?”
“No,” Harry and Xavier said simultaneously.
“If you bring pink cupcakes then she’ll accuse you of being a monster,” Xavier deadpanned, apparently still unhappy with Wednesday’s accusations.
Tyler blinked at Xavier and nodded slowly.
“Okay, black cupcakes it is. I guess I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”
Harry and Xavier left after Harry exchanged a cheery goodbye with Tyler and collected his gift to Wednesday from where it had been sitting on the floor by his chair.
“We stopping by the hospital?” Xavier asked Harry when their walk back to school took them past Jericho’s county hospital.
Harry felt guilt settle in his stomach when he checked the time on his watch.
“Can’t,” he said, genuinely remorseful as he glanced at the building. “We’ll be late.”
Harry shouldn’t have spent so long at the Weathervane. It was nice, sitting around with Tyler and Xavier and acting like three normal blokes with normal lives, sharing coffee and jokes, but Sirius was laying in the hospital, alone, and Harry should have went by there.
Xavier stuffed his hands in his pockets to hide them from the chilly wind. Harry rubbed his hands together then did the same thing. It was pretty, with the trees in the forest beginning to turn orange and brown, but Harry didn’t care much for the wind.
Harry actually got so caught up admiring the trees and trying to appreciate being free to walk around in town- no guards, no gates, no tormenting cousins -that it took Xavier a few times saying his name before Harry realized he’d been speaking.
“Sorry,” Harry blushed and ruffled his hair before ducking his head. “What?”
“We’re like friends now, right?” Xavier asked, waving off Harry’s tendency to get lost in his own thoughts.
“Yeah, if you want to be,” Harry said brightly. He’d considered Xavier to be his friend for a while, so it was nice to have it confirmed.
“So am I allowed to ask you about where you were before Nevermore?” Xavier asked, knocking Harry’s smile right off his face. “I mean, I’ve heard the gossip. I did used to date Bianca,” he added wryly, “but I don’t believe it.”
Harry eyed him from the side of his vision and slowed his pace down while he considered it.
“What- what did the gossip say about me?” Harry asked, working for an even and casual tone. He wasn’t sure if he nailed it or not, but Xavier flashed him an easy smile so Harry sort of thought he did.
“That you killed a guy and had spent time in jail before coming to Nevermore.” Xavier nudged Harry’s shoulder with his in a light gesture. “I don’t believe all the gossip I hear though.”
Harry didn’t know how the rumor started, but it spread like fire.
One day he’d been the new kid in a class full of students who had been together for years, odd, but not worth much attention. The next day, Harry had been standing in his fencing class, trying to find a partner, and realized that even Rowan was avoiding his gaze as he looked around for someone to fence with.
Nobody had paired with him and Harry wound up practicing alone, just following the motions without any of the enthusiasm he previously had for the sport.
At lunch that day, Harry finally realized why it felt like everyone was shooting him peculiar looks and whispering behind their hands.
“Hey, Potter, what are you even doing here?”
Harry looked up from the sandwich he’d been eating to see Bianca, Kent, and Divina standing in front of his table with their similar pale eyes staring balefully at him.
“I’m eating?” Harry had said in an uncertain whisper.
Kent scoffed and Bianca twisted her lips in an unimpressed glower.
“No, like, why do you go to Nevermore?” Divina asked, narrowing her eyes distrustfully. “What do you identify as?”
Harry truthfully had no idea what she meant. It sounded like she was asking if Harry shagged blokes or girls, he’d heard boys ask each other that in intake at the detention center, but it was an odd question to ask.
“I dunno,” Harry answered, looking from the sirens’ faces to where he was clenching the table hard enough to cause his knuckles to turn white.
“Do you have any powers at all?” Bianca demanded.
Harry shook his head quickly, denying the unstable sparks that tingled in his veins.
“I heard you came from jail, dude,” Kent said in a drawl. “Why? Did you kill someone or something?”
Harry shook his head just as quickly, but the full body twitch he had as a reminder of his run in with Guard Hamilton had been unmistakable and that had been that.
The rumors flew that Harry Potter was a normie, Harry was a killer, Harry was insane and couldn’t be trusted.
Harry had been on his way to lunch the next afternoon when someone tripped him and he fell down the main staircase, spraining his wrist.
He never ate lunch there again, not until Wednesday had shown up and thought Harry’s past made him interesting instead of a freak.
“I did,” Harry said, almost soft enough for the wind to wash away his words. “I killed a guy.”
Four, to be precise, but Harry supposed it wasn’t the time to brag.