1967, Christmas Eve
“What if she finds us?”
“She won’t.”
“How do you know?”
“Because I won’t let her. It’s you and me, yeah? Always.’’
“Ok. I believe you.” Regulus huddled closer into Narcissa’s side and tilted his head up to whisper in her ear. “We’re hiding from the big bad witch.” His muffled giggles echoed in the empty wardrobe they’d chosen as their hiding place.
“Not if you keep giving us away with your ridiculous banshee laugh.” Narcissa whispered back fondly, swatting his hand away. This did not have the desired effect as Regulus had to stuff his knuckles in his mouth to keep from laughing so hard.
“Shhh! I think I heard something.” Narcissa held up her hand in front of a silently convulsing Regulus and mimed strangling him. “I’ll strangle you for real if you don’t shut-”
“A-HA!” The cupboard door flew off its hinges. A triumphant Bellatrix stood before them, wand drawn and hair flying.
“Run Reg! I’ll distract her.” Narcissa tried to entangle herself from the startled boy and locate her own wand.
“I’m not leaving you!” Regulus’s earnest face gazed up at her, eyes wide. “No you’re much more important, you have to save yourself! Run! Go!”
“I’ll get you Reg!” came Bellatrix’s gleeful cackle. Regulus squealed and ran down the corridor and out of sight.
“You’ll never take him alive!” yelled Narcissa, launching herself at her sister and clamping her arms around her waist. Bellatrix yelped, switching targets as she aimed her wand at Narcissa, who now clung to her like a limpet.
“Rictusempra!” Narcissa fell back giggling hysterically as the jinx took hold of her. She writhed on the floor, grappling with invisible hands.
“Bella!” she shrieked, tears of mirth rolling down her face. “I can’t breathe! Please!” Bellatrix laughed, lifting the spell and helped Narcissa to her feet.
“Well that’s one more down and my last victim just escaped, no thanks to you.”
“Wait, you found Andi? The champion of hide and seek? Oh Reg is gonna be so pleased that he beat her.” Narcissa chuckled to herself, the remnants of the spell still lingering in her smile.
“Are you gonna help me catch the rascal?” said Bellatrix, raising her eyebrows in question.
“Fat chance,” Narcissa retorted, folding her arms. “How could I betray my fellow teammate?”
“He’s not your teammate anymore. You’re a seeker now, you don’t get a choice,” said Bellatrix, wagging a finger at Narcissa. She grabbed her sister’s arm and started dragging her down the hall in search of their runaway cousin, mischief written plainly on her face. “I’ve got Andi and Sirius seeking too so it’s four against one.”
“How is that fair,” replied Narcissa, as she let herself be led past sneering portraits of deceased relatives and pristine cabinets of old family heirlooms. Number Twelve Grimmauld Place was a building filled with grace and decorum and reeked of tradition and honour. There were no carpets, only hideous rugs with even uglier tassels that you weren’t allowed to walk on with shoes, though Narcissa doubted that rule was given much thought. The house did not feel warm or inviting and Narcissa always felt as if she was being watched, even when there were no portraits around. It did not feel like a home. Granted, her own home wasn’t that much more appealing, but she was a little biassed.
“It’s not about ‘fair’”, chided Bellatrix, still gripping Narcissa’s hand, although rather a bit firmer than Narcissa thought was necessary. “It’s about winning, and I plan on winning.”
“Bella, he's only six. Go easy on him for once. Let him have this.”
“There’s no ‘going easy’ on anyone in the real world. It’s either kill or be killed.” Narcissa was silent for a moment before hesitantly opening her mouth.
“It’s just hide and seek,” she mumbled. “You always take things so seriously. Why can’t we just have fun?” Bellatrix surveyed her for a moment before replying.
“You’re right, I’m sorry. It’s just a game.” She smiled. “Now let’s go and catch that little rascal.”
1975, Christmas Eve
“What if she finds out?”
“She won’t”
“How do you know that?”
“I won’t let her”
“You can’t know for certain Cissa. She’s crazy, she doesn’t care about Sirius, or any of us. She just watched as they tortured-” Regulus bit his tongue and tried to hold back a sob.
“She does care”, replied Narcissa soothingly, taking hold of Regulus’s shoulders and trying to calm the distressed boy. “She cares too much. She only wants what’s best for him, for all of us.” Regulus scoffed, wiping a traitorous tear from his cheek. “Besides, Sirius isn’t entirely blameless ether-”
“You take that back,” demanded Regulus, cutting her off. “We didn’t ask for this life, he’s never agreed with their stupid ways and stupid traditions and stupid motto and-” Regulus broke down crying. “What if he doesn’t come back?”
“Where did you send him?” “The Potters’”, said Regulus, resigned. He scuffed his shoe against the corner of a wardrobe. Narcissa stared at him wistfully, sensing the weight behind those words. She knew Regulus resented the Potters for ‘stealing Sirius away’ as he had put it. She had seen the way his face always fell when Sirius recounted his many antics with James at school, the way he desperately tried to change the topic whenever the other boy was mentioned. Narcissa could somewhat relate to that, with Andromeda hardly ever speaking to her anymore and Bellatrix being too busy trying to prove herself to the mysterious ‘Dark Lord’ her family kept talking about.
“He’ll be safe there,” she said, wincing at the thought of what her father would say if he heard her say that. Cygnus had always despised Fleamont Potter after he’d exposed him for running an illegal black market in Knockturn Alley selling cursed fake heirlooms. He’d barely evaded time in Azkaban and had had to pay a large sum of money to cover it up.
“But what if Bella finds out it was me?” Regulus repeated, growing increasingly agitated. “What if she finds out I gave him the floo powder and told him to get out?”
“How would she?” Regulus slowly lifted his head, making eye contact with her. “You.”
Narcissa’s heart sank. “Reg I’d never go against you like that. It’s you and me, yeah? Always.”
Regulus sighed, running a hand over his face. “Yeah,” he muttered. “Always.”
The two cousins stood in silence for a moment, Narcissa contemplating whether or not to say anything to try and ease the tension when a mad voice thundered down the hall.
“WHERE IS HE?” Regulus flinched, eyes wide.
“Go,” whispered Narcissa. “I’ll distract her.” Regulus nodded and turned heel back down the corridor. Narcissa was reminded of another time in this exact hall when she was greeted with the sight of Regulus’s retreating back, though she felt no warmth at the memory.
“Cissy,” scolded Bellatrix. Narcissa closed her eyes and counted to three before turning to face her sister. There was no kindness reflected back at her. “Cissy,” she repeated more sternly. “I know you know where he went.”
“Where who went?” she replied innocently. “Don’t play games with me Cissy. Sirius defied the Dark Lord’s orders and now he must pay for it.”
“Woah woah hold on. The Dark Lord’s orders? He ordered Sirius to get the Mark?” Narcissa couldn’t quite believe what the most powerful wizard of their generation could possibly want with an annoying, rebellious, sixteen-year-old boy.
“Well no, not explicitly,” retracted Bellatrix. “But it’s our duty as Blacks to serve him and Sirius failed to live up to his name. We have to teach him that disobedience is not acceptable.”
“For Salazar’s sake Bella,” cried Narcissa. “He was just tortured by his own family! It was four against one! How is that fair? What more punishment does he need?”
“The Dark Lord doesn’t care about ‘fair’. He cares about creating a pure society where wizards can be free to do magic without fear of mudbloods tainting their bloodlines!”
Narcissa took a step back from her sister, bowing her head so she couldn’t see the fear written in her eyes. “Now are you going to tell me where the treacherous bastard is or am I going to have to get Father.” Narcissa remained silent, head bowed.
“Cissy,” snarled Bellatrix. “Where. Is. He?” Her words were punctuated with pure malice and dripped with rage. Narcissa knew she was taking a risk but she couldn’t resist it. She knew she was buying Regulus more time to get as far away from them as possible and it seemed that Bellatrix didn’t suspect him yet. She planned to keep it that way. Narcissa’s fear morphed into mischief and she fought to keep a grin sliding onto her face.
“Where’s who?” “This isn’t a game Cissy! This is real life and if you can’t grow up and realise we’re living in a world where mudbloods wipe their dirty feet on our floors and speak our magic with their filthy tongues and you’re not willing to do something about it, then you’re not worthy to call yourself a Black.”
Bellatrix sneered down her nose at her sister once more and when Narcissa didn’t say anything back she shook her head and left back the way she came. She fell back against the wardrobe and tried to gather her wits but the door must have been slightly ajar because she fell right through and found herself in a heap on the floor. Rubbing her head, Narcissa groped around for her wand and was hit with a memory not for the first time that day. Two kids huddled in a wardrobe hiding from the big bad witch. Narcissa didn’t smile at the memory. She tried not to think about her childhood. It made her spiral. Now that she was in her final year at Hogwarts she had much more important things to worry about, though clearly she had underestimated just how serious the impending war was becoming.
She missed Andromeda. Her sister had been blasted off the tapestry a year ago for marrying that muggle Ted Tonks and had made no effort to contact her. They used to talk about everything together and Andromeda even helped Narcissa after a failed experiment to dye her hair black to match the rest of her family’s, insisting that it was very cool and stylish.
Their Mother did not agree.
And now it looked like Sirius was also going to lose his branch on the tree and after that disaster of a conversation with Bellatrix she doubted her older sister would want much to do with her anymore. Narcissa let out a deep sigh and held her head in her hands.
“It’s just you and me Reg, yeah?” she whispered to herself. “We’ll stick together. Always.”
1979, Christmas Eve
“What if she finds it?”
“I won’t let her.”
“You better not.”
“Cissa you have to swear to me she won’t find this letter.”
“I swear it.” Regulus nodded, handing over the envelope clenched in his fist. He snatched it away at the last second.
“You can’t read it until the time is right.”
“When will the time be right?”
“You’ll know.” He said darkly.
Those had been the last words Regulus Black had said to Narcissa the previous week before he had gone on a ‘very important mission’. No one had seen him since. He hadn’t told her what it was, nor had he told her where he was going. The only thing he had told her was that she could not open the letter until the time was right. She had no idea what that meant. Narcissa was wandering aimlessly up and down a corridor in Number 12 Grimmauld Place. The rest of her family and other members of the sacred 28 were downstairs in the ballroom, no doubt poisoning themselves with alcohol and false hope about the future of the wizarding world. Why did it matter what the state of wizardkind would be in ten years? Twenty? Half of them would be dead and the other half would be too old to care.
CRACK
Narcissa jumped and spun around. Kreacher stood before her, his long bat-like ears dripping water all over the rug. He was wringing his hands and bouncing from foot to foot, a locket hanging from his neck.
“Lady Narcissa!” He cried, tugging on the locket. “Lady Narcissa, it’s Master R-Regulus!” Narcissa paled. Was this something to do with his ‘mission’? Had something gone wrong? Was he in danger?
“Kreacher, I order you to tell me what’s wrong.”
“Master Regulus is telling K-Kreacher to go! T-To leave him there! But Kreacher c-can’t be leaving his Master all alone!” The elf was growing increasingly agitated.
“Kreacher, where is Regulus?” Narcissa’s tone was stern, but her mind was racing. He shook his head, tears now streaming down his face. “Kreacher, I order you to tell me where Regulus is.”
“Kreacher cannot, Kreacher cannot!”
“I am a member of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black and you will do as I say.”
“You is a Malfoy now, my lady, you is no longer a Black.” Narcissa gaped at the elf. Surely just because she was now married to Lucius didn’t mean the House of Black no longer recognised her authority?
“Wha- Kreacher- You will tell me where Regulus is right now or I will- I’ll-” Narcissa didn’t know what to say. She looked down at the ugly rug beneath her feet and tried to come up with a solution. If Kreacher wouldn’t obey her orders anymore, how could she find Regulus? She could find Sirius? No, that was out of the question. There was no way that traitor would help a member of his family. Not even his own brother? said a voice in her head. Narcissa thought about Andromeda, her older sister whom she hadn’t seen in over five years. Would Andi come running if Narcissa called? She doubted Andi wanted anything to do with her anymore. She supposed she could find Walburga… Scratch that, she thought, shuddering. She would rather not talk to her deranged aunt any more than necessary. What was she supposed to do?
“Master Regulus is telling Kreacher to tell you the time is right.” At that, Narcissa’s head snapped up.
“What did you say?”
“M-Master Regulus is telling Kreacher to tell Lady Narcissa that the time is right.” Narcissa’s hand subconsciously went to her left pocket, where she had been carrying the letter for the past week. Her last memory of Regulus resurfaced in her mind. He had looked so pale and there was a fear in his eyes she had not seen since the Christmas of 1975 when Sirius had left, but there had been a determination there too.
With shaking hands she withdrew the letter from the inside of her robes. The parchment had become crumpled and worn at the edges. She ran her finger under the seal as delicately as she could manage, not wanting to tear any last hope that Regulus was ok. That he was safe.
Cissa,
If you are reading this, I am dead.
I can’t tell you about the mission but know that it was not all in vain. I found what I was looking for. I found hope that the wizarding world could be rid of this Dark plague that has spread throughout wizardkind, and that one day in the hopefully near future, someone will be able to finish what I started.
Tell Andromeda that she was right about our family.
Tell the Big Bad Witch I hope she gets what’s coming to her.
Tell Sirius I’m sorry I couldn’t be the brother he wanted, the brother he deserved. Tell him I’m happy that he’s now found one.
And tell yourself you deserved more than what’s been given to you.
It’s you and me, yeah?
Reg
Silence was pounding in Narcissa’s skull. Questions suffocated her mind. She felt as though she were drowning in them.
“Kreacher. How-?” But the corridor was empty. Narcissa stood alone, or so she thought.
“Narcissa I’ve been called to fetch you, the Dark Lord will be making a speech soon and requires everyone’s attendance. Aunt Walburga also requested you find out where Regulus is, as you seem to be the only one who can control him. Narcissa, are you listening to me? It is unwise to keep the Dark Lord waiting.”
Narcissa just stood there, letting Bellatrix’s words bounce off her. She couldn’t hear anything other than the incessant pounding that was sure to split her skull open.
“Narcissa, I demand you come with me.” She felt a cold hand close around her wrist and her feet began to drag reluctantly behind her.
You deserve more than what’s been given to you.
“No.” Narcissa wrenched her hand from Bellatrix’s icy grip and planted herself firmly to the spot. The other hand still clamped tightly around the letter.
“No? This isn’t about you Cissy, this is about the Greater Good.“ Narcissa flinched at the old nickname. It reminded her of what they used to be, running up and down corridors they weren’t supposed to, playing Quidditch in the garden, hide and seek at family gatherings, when they used to be sisters. Narcissa no longer recognised the woman in front of her.
“I need to know where your loyalties lie and if you’re not willing to- What is that?” Bellatrix pointed an accusatory finger at Narcissa’s hand.
“Have you been in correspondence with Regulus? You know where he is don’t you? You’ve been helping him and lying to us. Wait until Walburga finds out about this. She’ll have your head on a spike.” Bellatrix made a swipe for the letter but Narcissa was too quick, moving it out of her reach
“Cissy,” Bellatrix hissed. “Where. Is. Regulus. I know you know where he is. You’re going to tell me now or I’ll have to get it out of you myself.” She had withdrawn her wand from her robes and was twirling it between her fingers, no trace of the sister Narcissa once knew behind her eyes. She took one deep breath and as broken brown eyes met soulless black ones, she uttered a single word.
“Dead.”