It's going to be okay...
You didn‘t go to Dr Smith, you called her to say you aren‘t feeling well. Lucky for you, Wanda had to go to a last minute mission for the day so she couldn‘t drag you to therapy. She was furious when she barged into your room. „Are you fucking serious right now“ she shouted at you. Your head hurts from her shouting, your hangover nearly killing you. „I didn’t feel well“ you responded shrugging your shoulders. „I won‘t sit back and watch you destroy yourself. I won’t let you die of an fucking alcohol overdose because you can’t deal with your feelings“. You finally look her in the eyes. You see pain, worry and deep love for you but you couldn’t care any less about her feelings right now. Two weeks ago you would have done everything to ease her worry but don’t have the strength anymore. You just turn around, your back facing her. „Alright if that’s what you want“ she sighed angrily walking out of your room.
You didn‘t see her the next day, she avoided you like a plague. You can’t blame her, you pushed her away way too often. Tony tried to talk to you but you blocked him off. Wanda didn‘t tell him about your little bar incident so he doesn’t know how bad your state really is. Pushing through the day you land in the same little bar again. A few drinks later you were completely drunk again. Dancing with a few people, you could push your thoughts away. It's peaceful, your mind is finally shutting off. This was the first time you felt like a actual living human again. But after a few hours you get extremely tired. You find yourself scrolling through your phone with blurred vision to find Wanda’s contact. It’s unfair to call her, you know that but you want nothing more than to get home, with the pleasure floating away and the old sadness pushing it's way back into your heart.
„Hello?“ she answers the phone tiredly. You'd probably waken her up. „Wanda“ you slurred into the phone. „You got to be kidding me. Stay where you are“, with that she ended the phone. You payed your tab and stumbled outside leaning against the wall. Lightning the last cigarette you take you look at the stars in the sky. You don‘t know how you could mess up your life like this in only two weeks. A person stopping right infront of you pulled you out of your thoughts. You look up to see Natasha looking at you with an unreadable expression. „Get in the car“ she said grabbing your hand. Even in your drunken state you can feel the butterfly raising in your stomach. Wordlessly you follow her to the car on the side of the road.
„You’re back“ you said as you got into the passenger seat. She just hummed as she started the car.„And you’re angry“ you added observing her. She probably just got back from the plane but still looked beautiful. If you wouldn't be so drunk right now you would feel ashamed that she has to deal with this right after her two weeks long mission. „Listen I‘m not going to lecture you about everything, I don’t know what you‘re going through because you don’t talk to me. I don’t know what you did but Wanda is angry so she got me to pick you up“. You don’t respond to her answer.
Walking into the compound you don’t except what to come next. Tony and Wanda sitting on the couch both looking angry at you. Natasha takes a seat behind them, almost as confused as you are. „This stops right here“ Wanda began. „Dr Smith is coming tomorrow and you are going to find new antidepressants“. Before you could say something Tony stopped you „This is not up for debate. When I told you to stop I didn’t mean it like that you know that“ he said worriedly. Wanda left the room without another word, Tony following her leaving you and Natasha alone.
You looked at Natasha's disappointed face. „Nat“ you start but she stopped you. „Why didn’t you tell me? I thought we were best friends? And I find out that you were talking antidepressants from Tony and Wanda?“ she was angry maybe even hurt. You don’t care anymore you‘re life already miserable enough you have nothing to lose anymore. „Because you aren’t just my friend Natasha. I fucking love you“ you were shouting by now. „Okay then why didn’t you tell me if you have feelings for me? Especially then you should have come to me.“ she shouted back.
„Because you’ve been through so much and still manage to live without fucking pills. And me? My parents died, the only family I have left hated me and never wanted to take care of me? Yeah what a good reason to feel this way“.
„Y/N please look at me“ she said desperately. Taking your face into her hands she speaks up again „You can‘t compare our pain. It doesn’t work like that. You feelings are valid no matter what other people may have been through. This isn’t a competition“. She is right, it isn’t. For the first time you look up to her, into her face full of worry and something else. Maybe love? Before you can respond to her she grabs your face and pulls you into a soft kiss. You heart is hammering out of your chest while you deepen the kiss and put your arms around her neck.
She pulls apart from the kiss still holding you. She doesn’t dare to let you go, afraid you could disappear. „We’re going to discuss more tomorrow we will find a solution together“, she said breaking the silence. With her by your side, you know it’s going to be okay.