Book 3
When Draco woke, it was like he could barely move. Sitting up slowly, he walked to his bathroom. There, he took a long shower, gently moving and stretching his muscles, which where sore from convulsing. Father was very angry all summer. Losing his house elf, plus Harry defeating Voldemort yet again. Father also learned that Draco was there when it happened, and even helped Harry.
Father found that out last night, hence Draco’s painful wounds. Father usually just hit Draco with his cane or something like that but last night was different. Father had used magic against him. A forbidden curse. A pain like no other he had ever experienced. At one point, Draco felt like this level of pain might just drive him mad.
Today was his birthday, but it didn’t feel like it. Only 13 years old now, but Draco felt so much older. When he thought about 13, it seemed so young, but Draco didn’t feel young.
Draco almost wished he did feel young. But he wasn’t allowed to.
---
When the train arrived, Mother hugged Draco goodbye. Father hadn’t come to see him off this year, and Draco was glad he hadn’t. He worried about Mother, but she always made it. Somewhere, deep down in Father’s dark heart, he loved Mother. He had to, otherwise Draco wasn’t sure why she was still alive. A dark and terrible thought, but a true one. One may say appearances but Draco was sure Father would figure a way out of that one. He always got away with everything.
“I love you Mother. Stay well,” Draco whispered, his eyes meeting Mother’s.
“I love you as well, Draco,” She whispered back.
And with that, Draco boarded the train.
---
On the train, Draco moved to sit with Blaise and Pansy, as he did every year. But, this time, Harry waved him over. Draco was confused at first, but then moved toward him.
“Hey Malfoy, I… I need to talk with you about some things, lets sit together,” Harry said. Draco only nodded, and entered the booth.
It was awkward. Hermione and Weasley both stared at him, their eyes wide. Harry’s smile was even awkward as he laughed slightly. There was also a man in the booth, asleep in the corner, but the other’s ignored him.
Being as there was now 5 people in a booth really meant to fit four comfortably, Draco sat uncomfortably close to Harry. Well, Draco liked the close contact, even if he did not want to admit it.
“So-” Harry started, but was cut off by an eerie whooshing sound. The light went out and a cold swept over the compartment, and ice design trickling up the window. Draco would have watched the ice longer, but something was compelling him to look towards the door.
And, there it was. Draco wasn’t quite sure what ‘it’ was, but it sure was there. A tall and dark figure, who moved like there was no resistance against it’s body.
The door opened, and it looked straight past Draco and to Harry, who seem just as entranced as Draco was.
It all happened so fast. It started sucking the life out of Harry. His face blurred, his skin went pale, his green eyes losing their light.
The man in the corner stood up, yelled a charm, and a bright blue light erupted from his wand, and a wolf appeared. It attacked the thing, and then it was over.
Draco was stuck in that stupid trance until the thing had gone. If he had been able to, he would have pulled Harry away, saved him.
Draco felt useless.
Draco snapped out of that headspace almost immediately because Harry had fallen onto his lap. Draco couldn’t enjoy the physical touch because Harry’s skin was ice cold, his skin pale, and most importantly, Harry was unconscious.
It was only for a few seconds. Harry sluggishly opened his eyes, and the man did not waste a moment before shoving a whole bar of chocolate into Harry’s hands.
“Eat this,” came the strangers rough voice, “It’ll make you feel better,”
Harry did as he was told, and Draco could see the color slowly come back to his face.
“I am your new Professor of Defense Against the Dark Arts. Professor Remus Lupin,” the man said, sitting back down.
“What was that?” Hermione asked, her face almost as pale as Harry’s was.
“A dementor. They guard Azkaban,” Professor Lupin said, and Harry shared a look with Hermione and Ron.
Draco wasn’t sure what any of that meant, but it could not be good. What did Harry know?
It was that moment when Harry decided to notice where he was sitting. Not very observant, was he?
“Oh! Draco, I didn’t-” Harry started to say, while also trying to stand up, but failing to do so. Which meant that he just fell back into Draco’s lap.
“It’s fine, Potter. Whatever the fuck just happened is more important than you sitting in my lap. Which, I don’t mind if you do,” Draco said, placing his hand on Harry’s back to help him balance.
For some reason, that made Harry completely turn red.
And, it was awkward again. No one said anything at all, Harry still nibbling on his chocolate, Hermione and Ron kind of just staring at the scene before them, while also whispering to each other. The professor was back to sleeping in the corner again.
In an attempt to break the awkwardness, Draco spoke. Yes, not his greatest idea.
“So, before that happened, you said you wanted to talk to me about something?” Draco asked, and of course that made it worse.
Harry turned an even darker shade of red, Hermione and Ron made eye contact and it was clear they were trying not to laugh.
“I… I don’t want to have that conversation while I am seated in your lap. Or while those idiots are nearby,” Harry said, hiding his face as if it wasn’t already obvious that his face was bright red.
Draco just nodded, and let them sit in an awkward silence until the train arrived.
---
Draco sat at the Sorting Hat ceremony, drowning the noise with his own thoughts.
When the train arrived, Draco awkwardly said goodbye, and Harry just held up a hand and gave that smile. The one that everyone gives when they pass someone in the street, or accidently touched hands in an elevator. The worst smile that Draco has ever gotten.
He was being dramatic and he knew it. But damn it, Draco wanted to be dramatic every once in a while.
“… And one more thing students, the Dementors are here because escaped convict, Sirius Black is suspected to be here, at Hogwarts,” Dumbledore said, and a worried chatter started, “Don’t worry students, Sirius Black cannot enter Hogwarts, and we are perfectly safe from him,”
Draco glanced over to Harry, where his expression gave worry and… distrust? Draco traced Harry line of sight back to Dumbledore, but there was no way Harry distrusted Dumbledore. As far as Draco was aware, those two were best friends! They had to be, otherwise all the stupid things Harry has done would have gotten him expelled long ago. This was all very strange.
Then Harry looked at him, and his expression changed. It softened. He smiled.
That was it! Draco was dying to know what Harry wanted to talk about. Well, he wanted to know a lot of things about Harry, but particularly that. Right at this moment.
“Pansy, do you have a piece of paper?” Draco asked, turning to her urgently.
“No I don’t… wait yes I do, why?” Pansy answered, searching in her robe.
“I need it for something, don’t worry about it,” Draco said, grabbing the paper from her. She stared for a moment before shrugging.
Draco wrote on the paper, before folding it into a little paper swan. He grabbed his wand and enchanted the paper, making it fly across the Dining Hall into Harry’s lap.
Draco watched as he picked up the swan, recognition lighting up his face.
---
Harry picked up the paper swan that had landed in his lap. He didn’t see where it had come from, but… but it was definitely the same swan that had been there 2 years ago, on his bedside when he woke up after preventing Voldemort from getting the Sorcerer's Stone. The same one that was still on his bedside table in the dorms.
There was writing on the inside as well, so as much as it pained Harry to do so, he unfolded the swan.
Dear Harry,
What did you want to talk about on the train? You never said when you wanted to talk about it, well I want to talk about it now, after dinner. Meet me in the courtyard.
-Draco Malfoy
Draco? Draco is the one who folded the swan? Draco, all the way in year one, when Harry was sure Draco hated him, gave Harry his most favorite present?
Well, shit. Harry was so confused. Draco was nothing like… like he assumed he would be. Maybe Harry shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions, just as Draco had on the very first train. Already Harry was seeing Draco as more than he originally thought, that’s why he invited him on the train, but Harry to have been completely wrong from the beginning, it was mind boggling.
Harry looked up from the note to see that dinner was ending, and people were leaving the hall.
Hurriedly, Harry got up. He couldn’t be late to his date.
---
Draco nervously paced in the Courtyard. Of course Harry wouldn’t come, why would he? Draco was mainly a jerk to him, even if he hadn’t meant to, and the whole Chamber of Secrets was really an accident, and the train here was just terrible really, so of course Harry wouldn’t come.
At that moment, Harry entered the Courtyard.
“Potter,” Draco teased.
“Malfoy,” Harry teased back.
“So, you were the one who gave me my swan back in year one,” Harry said. It wasn’t a question, but Harry posed it as one.
Now it was Draco’s turn to become tomato red.
“You- you remember it?”
Harry nodded, “Yes, it was my favorite of all the get well presents I received. I keep it on my night stand,”
Harry’s green eye’s seemed to shimmer in the moonlight.
Draco turned away, finding it hard to breathe. He stumbled to the fountain edge, sitting there.
“Oh, well. That’s nice, I’m glad you enjoyed it,” Draco didn’t know if he could stay any longer. Physically, he means. Harry’s presence alone made it hard to breathe, and if he kept saying more things, Draco thought he might explode.
“So, you wanted to talk about-” Harry started, and woah, when did Harry sit next to him?
“Nope! Never mind. A-another day, please. I, I can’t do this right now,” Draco said, standing abruptly and speed walking away.
Draco only glanced over his shoulder to see Harry’s perfect silhouette in the moon.
---
Draco avoided Harry like the plague after that. Which, since Draco built his school life over literally watching Harry, proved to be extremely hard. He saw him everywhere, Quidditch, Potions, Charms, Herbology, Transfiguration, Defense Against the Dark Arts, everywhere.
And, for some cruel reason, Draco saw Harry every time he walked through the halls, every time he looked up during a meal.
Draco must be cursed, must be. It doesn’t help when Harry keeps trying to talk to him. Saying things like ‘Draco wait up!’ or ‘Malfoy come on, it’s been weeks!’
This plan worked out fine.
Except, of course, Father. Father wasted no time sending owls. At first, Draco kept him occupied, talking about the Dementor attack on the train, and then about how close Harry and him were becoming! Which, was all true, except for that fact that Draco left out a lot of crucial details.
But, since Draco was avoiding Harry, when the last two owls came, Draco had nothing to say. He made up stuff about nothing was happening, blah blah blah. And then, nothing. For a week. Father’s letter did not come.
The next week is when the Howler came. He didn’t open it in the Dining Hall, instead running to him dorm, locking the door and putting a silencing charm on the room. And he opened it.
“Draco Malfoy. I did not raise you to be a liar, did I? You’re last letters have been very disappointing. I know for a fact that there is more going on than you say. I ask you to do a very simple thing, and yet you cannot obey anything I ever tell you! You are nothing but a filthy liar like your mother. My son could never do such a thing. Your whore of a mother must have produced you from somewhere but it was certainly not me!
I will at Hogwarts the day this letter arrives at noon. I hope that I am sorely mistaken about your lies and you and Harry Potter are truly close. We will see.”
Draco was going to puke, there was no doubt about it. The letter somehow spit in his face, and Draco could almost feel Father standing over him, his staff in hand.
Draco grabbed a trashcan and puked in it. He barely wiped his face before seeing how badly he was shaking.
Shit. He couldn’t breathe, and this was nothing like that night with Potter. Draco was gasping for air but he couldn’t find it. He might die here and disappoint Father all the same.
His vision started to swim, and Draco went to rub his eyes only to find tears he did not notice before.
This was it. This was the end. Father was going to come to find that Potter barely cared about him, and there was no doubt in Draco’s mind that Father was going to kill him right there.
Mother. God, if Father killed him, he’d somehow do worse to Mother.
Before Draco realized, he was screaming. Wailing like no other. Just sobbing and sobbing. He stayed there, on the floor next to a can, crying for what felt like hours.
The door opened, and Blaise walked in.
“Shit, Draco. Are you okay?” Draco couldn’t answer him, he still couldn’t breathe. He just wailed, and Blaise held him. Like a child, Blaise held Draco against his chest. When Pansy entered, she came to the other side of Draco and hugged him too, before standing up and saying Draco’s worst fear.
“I’m going to go get Madam Pomfrey,”
“No! No, you can’t get her,” not only would Draco have to explain why he was having a panic attack alone in his dorm during breakfast, he would also have to explain the not yet healed cuts and bruises along his body.
“I’m fine, I just- I just need you here,” He said, making direct eye contact with Pansy, “Please,”
Pansy sighed in the annoyed way she always does, and sat next to him.
---
They sat there until first classes started, when Draco insisted they all must not miss class.
He didn’t say why he was so devastated, and changed the subject when they asked. He knew that they stared at him worried all class.
Draco didn’t listen in class. Instead, he tried to think of a way out of this. How could he either convince his father not to come, or convince Potter to play along. And no matter what he thought up, he couldn’t find a way.
The walk to lunch was sober. Lunch started preciously at noon, so everyone was walking there at 11:55.
There he was, Potter. No matter what Draco thought up, he knew it wouldn’t work. So, he thought, if Draco must die, he will die fighting.
Draco run up to Potter, grabbed his arm and dragged him away.
“Draco what are you-”
“Listen to me. Whatever happens next, just follow me, okay?” Draco looked into Harry’s ever irresistible eyes. And he nodded.
---
Father walked up not two second later. Draco discreetly changed his grip on Harry’s wrist, to a handhold.
“Draco. Potter. What a pleasant surprise, I was just on my way to Dumbledore’s office on official Auror’s business. What are you two up two?” Father asked, a sly grin on face.
“We were just on our way to lunch Father,” Draco said cheerfully, glancing slightly to Harry, fully expecting a confused look on his face. Draco was pleasantly surprised to find a joyful grin instead.
“Yep! I’m hoping to get some sausages! We better hurry,” Harry said, starting to pull Draco towards the Dining Hall.
“Wait just yet,” Father said, holding up his cane to stop Harry’s movement. Draco tried not to shake at the sight of the wretched thing. “How did you two become friends? I remember that you weren’t very fond of me last year, Potter. How did you get so close with my… son?” Father gestured to Draco and Harry’s now outstretched hands, still interlocked with each other.
The pause at the son tore through Draco’s heart like a knife. He couldn’t breathe. Again.
“I’m not sure. Draco is so charming though, and he helps me with my potions homework. We were kind of just drawn to each other, you know? Plus, we both play Quidditch so sometimes we’ll practice together, isn’t that right Draco?” Harry lied masterfully. When did he get so good at lying?
Draco nodded, his plastic smile even bigger.
“We won’t keep you on your way, Sir,” Harry ended, dragging Draco away from Father.
Draco watched until Father stepped around the corner before falling to the floor.
Another panic attack. Honestly, Draco was getting tired of them.
Harry went down with him.
“Woah Draco, it’s okay,” Harry placed his hand on Draco’s chest, and his forehead to Draco’s forehead.
In order to do so, he kind of climbed onto Draco’s lap. Harry tried not to focus on that part.
“Here, place your hand on my chest. Match my breathing,” Draco did as he was told, and closed his eyes.
He imagined he was in a far off place, somewhere where Father could never get to him. Mother was there, looking the happiest he had seen her in ages. Harry was there, smiling at him with his same crooked smile and beautiful green eyes.
When Draco opened his eyes, there was only one thing he could think of doing.
So, Draco Malfoy kissed Harry Potter.
---
Draco was kissing Harry. And Harry was totally freaking out.
The kiss felt longer than it actually was, it only lasted a few seconds. A very chaste kiss, just lips upon lips.
As soon as Draco pulled away, he blinked a few times, seemed to realize what just happened, turned bright tomato red, and promptly ran away.
Harry hadn’t moved. He was still sitting in the same spot.
What. The. Fuck. Just. Happened.
One minute, he’s walking to lunch with Hermione and Ron, the next he’s lying his ass off to Draco’s father about their friendship, Draco practically shaking in his arms. Harry then tried to prevent a panic attack, got kissed, and now he’s sitting on the floor.
Seriously, what just happened.
Hermione. Hermione would know what to do.
“Hermione,” Harry hissed, grabbing her attention. He waved her over, and made sure she brought Ron.
“You will never guess what just happened,” Harry paused for dramatic affect as his friends leaned in, “Draco just kissed me,”
Ron screamed first, before Hermione slapped a hand over his mouth, and then her own. Harry knew she was suppressing her own scream.
Once they both calmed down a little, they both started throwing questions at him.
Harry just smiled.
---
Fuck. Shit. Just, fuck. Draco had messed up. Why did he do that? Why did he do that?
That was absolutely the last thing he needed to do. Harry probably hated him now, Draco can’t just go around kissing people! What was Harry going to do? Would he tell all the students and then Father would find out? What would Father even think? Or would he not tell anyone, which for some twisted reason made Draco feel worse.
Maybe Harry would just tell Draco that he was disgusting and never wanted to see him again.
Well, Draco wouldn’t give him a chance. He wouldn’t talk to Harry ever again. He’ll send letters to Father about Quidditch practice and whatnot. Father might not be happy about that but… but he’ll figure that out when the time comes.
Draco was so angry at himself. Why was he always fucking things up?
---
Draco did avoid Harry for as long as he possibly could. Of course, Harry was always trying to talk to him. All the damn time. At one point, he just walked up to the Slytherin common room and asked to see Draco.
Pansy, who had answered the door, took one look at Draco, who was furiously shaking his head, and slammed the door in Harry’s face.
At least Harry didn’t spread any rumors. No one knew what they did just outside the Dining Hall. What he did. Whatever.
Harry didn’t seem angry with him either, which was also strange. Draco would be angry if someone just kissed him out of nowhere. But that didn’t matter.
The issue with Father and the letters was resolved, at least for now. Mother sent me a letter the day after he visited, describing how happy he was with Draco. A week after that, Father sent a letter saying how he never should have doubted Draco, and how proud he was of Draco. It now didn’t matter what Draco sent, Father would believe every word. It was… strange.
It was strange when he read that Father was proud of him, Draco almost didn’t believe it. It was strange how happy Mother was, saying things in her letters of how he’s the man she married, not the man Draco knew as Father. It was all so strange.
Draco had this gut-wrenching dread in his stomach that he couldn’t shake.
---
Blaise had dragged Draco to a Quidditch match, no matter how hard he resisted.
Draco didn’t mind, really. He needed an escape from his thoughts. And, as long as Harry was in the air, he wasn’t trying to talk to Draco. To tell the truth, Draco liked watching Harry as a seeker. He was good at it, much better than Draco could be. It was entrancing.
Harry seemed to spot something, before a Dementor appeared out of nowhere and attacked Harry. He fell off of his broom, and fainted again. Draco didn’t know what to do.
“Arresto Momentum!” Draco heard himself shouting before he even realized it. He had to stop doing things without thinking.
Harry stopped falling, now slowly floating to the bottom of the pitch.
Draco ran down to where Harry was going to land, catching him in his arms. That’s when Draco noticed that Dumbledore, several other professors, including Professor Lupin, and a crowd of students formed around them.
Well. So much for not having any rumors.
---
Harry was fine, had some chocolate. He was not as fine when he got the news that the Whomping Willow had destroyed his broom. Draco hadn’t left his side in the Medical Wing, against his better judgement. They sat in silence for a while, but Harry was the one to break it.
“You saved my life. Thank you,” Draco just nodded. God he was so awkward.
“I wanted to talk to you, about what happened,” Draco moved to leave, because nope! But Harry grabbed Draco’s arm and gave him that pleading look with his gorgeous green eyes. Draco could never resist those eyes.
But he had to. Draco looked away and pulled out of Harry’s grasp.
“I’m glad you’re okay, Potter. And… and nothing happened, okay?” Draco walked away without looking back. Even when he heard Harry call out to him.
---
Life is chaotic, even without Harry in it. The convict, Sirius Black, had made it onto campus twice, and there was this whole lockdown.
Draco was just tired.
He felt terrible when Buckbeak bite him, but he played it off. Draco played into the mean bully Harry always thought he was. Draco was so tired.
Draco was so tired, that when he was walking past the Whomping Willow, he thought he saw a black dog drag Ron under the tree.
When Draco blinked and rubbed his eyes a few times, he realized he was not seeing things, and Harry and Hermione were being attacking by the tree.
Instead of helping immediately like he wanted to, he stayed behind and watched. Draco watched as both Harry and Hermione slipped under the tree.
Then, Draco saw Snape start after them.
Goddamn it.
“Professor Snape! What brings you here?” Draco asked, hoping to distract the man.
“Young Malfoy, I was just… it doesn’t matter, what are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be heading to bed?” Snape said, clearly trying to hide his frustration.
“I was just headed that way, when I saw you. So, what brings you here?” Draco scrambled. It was hard to come up with lies on the spot.
Snape glanced around a few times, before sighing.
“Just making sure students weren’t still out. Here, I’ll walk you back to the dorms. It isn’t safe here right now,” Snape said, placing a hand on Draco’s back, guiding him back towards Hogwarts.
Draco glanced behind himself, hoping that Harry was alright.
---
Harry was walking down the hallway when he thought he heard a noise coming from a hallway potions ingredients closet. He walked inside, making sure that absolutely no one was in there. Harry had a tough couple of days, with saving Sirius, werewolves and such. It was a lot. No wonder he was hearing things.
When Harry went to exit, the door was locked. Harry reached for his wand, only to find he had left it in his dorm. Idiot, he thought to himself.
At first, he was okay. Sure, the closet was small, but Harry knew how to deal with small spaces.
Until he couldn’t. Harry felt sure that the walls were closing in on him, sucking all of the air out of his lungs.
“Help!” Harry yelled, banging on the door. He needed to get out of there, now.
---
“Help!” came a muffled voice from a hallway closet. Draco thought he was hearing things until the person called again.
“Help, please! Anyone?” The voice yelled, banging on the door.
Draco ran over, whispering the unlocking charm. The door flung open, and the person inside jumped and hugged Draco.
Draco froze, unsure what was happening. Then he recognized the unruly black hair and realized who this was. Harry fucking Potter.
And he was… crying?
It was like Draco flipped a switch, just as he had in the Chamber with Ginny. His protective, nurturing side.
He gently guided Harry and himself to the opposite wall, sitting down together. Harry sobbed into Draco’s shoulders, his already tight grip getting even tighter.
“I can’t go back,” Harry whispered.
“Go where?” Draco asked, his tone softer than Harry had ever heard before.
“My aunt and uncle’s house. Where I grew up. I can’t go back,”
“Why?”
“My room, it’s smaller than that damn closet. I sleep in a cupboard, and I won’t fit anymore, I know it. The Summer before last, I had to curl up into a ball to fit, before the Weasley’s saved me. Last summer, I ran away. I definitely won’t fit this Summer. And I get so hungry. They don’t feed me, Draco. I get the leftovers, if there is any. I do all the chores, the cooking, the cleaning, everything. They treat me like their servant. I don’t even have my own clothes, they’re my cousin’s old ones. They are all too big on me. My uncle, he… he hurts me if I don’t what they say. I cannot go back,” Harry said in a rush, as if all of these things wanted to come out for a long time.
“And, Black, he’s my godfather. He’s the one who was supposed to raise me, but even now he cannot. And Dumbledore just expects me to go back there. I can’t, Draco, I can’t,” Draco just held Harry tight.
“I… I don’t know how to help. Is there any way you could not go there? Go straight to the Weasley’s?” Draco asked after a moment.
“I’m not sure. Dumbledore insists I stay there. I-” Harry cut himself off, looking around before continuing, “Honestly, I’m scared that Dumbledore will force me to go back there. Even if I go with the Weasleys,”
Draco hugged Harry tighter, and they sat together in silence. It was then that Draco realized that they had missed their first class, Potions. That was going to bite them in the butt later, but Draco didn’t care. Harry needed him right now, and all that Draco could do was be there for him.