second year - the point
"Hey Remus!"
James walked into their bedroom to see Remus on his bed lying on his front reading his History of Magic textbook, doing homework.
"Hi"
"Guess what Minnie made me do"
"What?" Remus looked up from his book while James started unbuttoning his shirt
"Last night Peeves sabotaged the trophy room"
"Oh yeah I knew that, me and Peter walked past him"
"And you didn't tell us? Anyway, so yeah McGonagall made me clean that up. Haven't even finished yet it's that trashed"
"So is that what you're gonna be doing in tomorrows detention?"
"No.." James sighed "She separated me and Sirius, we're going to be swapping jobs every day. Tomorrow I'm with Hagrid. That's where Sirius is right now"
"...ok" Remus went back to looking at his book James finished changing and asked "Where's Pete?"
"Kitchens, you said you wanted something chocolatey at dinner and Peter was nice enough to go down"
"Oh, he didn’t have to do that"
James shrugged and then fidgeted a little before tidying his stuff up a bit. He didn't really know what to say to Remus. He wasn't going to lie, things had been a little awkward between them ever since James had disturbed him in the bathroom, because honestly James just felt really bad about it all, and even worse about the fact that his friend had been injured and didn’t feel safe enough to even talk about it! Obviously Remus wasn’t obligated to say anything but nevertheless it made a pinching sorrow settle in his chest.
He wasn’t really used to this. The lack of communication. Having grown up in a household where the majority of conversations, even the more difficult ones, were for the most part quite straight-forward and almost transparent in nature made it so James was quite used to open conversations. It meant he had been finding it difficult to navigate his way around the more sensitive subjects with his friends who were so keen to hide certain parts of themselves.
James didn’t fully understand why if he was being honest. Never before had he felt like he’d had to hide the major things going on in his life, if some big event happened to him he’d just talk to his parents or friends about it. Simple as really.
Again, this was why he wasn’t quite sure on how how to approach Remus.
So yeah, the last few days had been a little awkward. Just a little
"Remus?"
"Yeah?" Remus looked up from his book again
"Do you want to talk about what happened?"
"What do you mean?"
"Uh, you know I think it happened like a week ago when I er... wa-"
"No, sorry" Remus sighed, starting to look a little exasperated now
"Remus"
Remus’ eyes were apologetic "Sorry James, I just don't want to"
"Oh, right. But you know you can talk to us right? Talk to me?"
Remus then smiled appreciatively, almost as if he was relieved "Yeah I know, thanks James" he looked like he was about to say something but then thought better of it and returned to his book.
He didn't really approve of people running away from their problems, but he let it slide for now. Sooner or later he'd find out what had happened, just like he had with Sirius.
James couldn’t stand the odd silence that had now settled, only the noise of Remus flicking the page and his own steady breathing.
“Remus”
“What?”
“You talked with Sirius the other day”
“I talk to him every day you’re going to have to be more specific than that”
“After he talked to Regulus”
“Right”
“What did you say?”
“Not anything of much value… we talked about population if I recall correctly why?”
“Well he seemed ok, more at peace after talking to you”
“I don’t think I was that comforting so I don’t know James, but it’s good that he felt better I guess”
“Well he was more ok I think, when we saw Regulus walking through the corridors the next morning he didn’t tense up in that weird way he usually does”
Remus snorted “He’s like cardboard when he does that”
James grinned, feeling all the previous awkwardness dissolve “I don’t think he even realises”
“Oh he has no clue” Remus smirked
Then, after a few moments of comfortable silence, James sighed “Just you know, sometimes I worry about him”
Remus nodded slowly, understanding, and thinking. Just thinking.
James carried on “Did… did you know he was hurt after the summer?”
“Well yes.. but I don’t know what happened”
“Walburga well... he had some properly nasty bruises causing him a lot of pain”
Remus’ eyes flashed with an emotion James couldn’t quite figure out but he knew he was worried. Anyone would be really. When James saw them... well. It was really sad.
“He said…” Remus trailed off, choosing out his next words, and then settling for a question “Is there anything we can do to help?”
And that was it really, was there anything they could do to help? At this point no.
James hadn’t told anyone about it just yet, mostly at Sirius' request, but if James got so much as a whiff of anything else suspicious he would run straight to Dumbledore and use the evidence of his best friends pain to justify stealing Sirius away from The House of Black. Not that it really needed justification, Walburga and Orion Black were about the worst people you could ever meet and James had never even properly met them. Of course he’d heard stories about how they kept house, his mum and dad had complained about their awful personalities, Sirius had complained about their unfair rules, their wild obsession with maintaining proper tradition and James had even seen one of them (Walburga) from afar on the train platform, a blank face but eyes scanning everyone around her, silently judging. James took one look at her, felt his skin prickle uncomfortably, and looked away because she didn’t deserve to be looked at.
James would do it in a heartbeat - steal Sirius way that is. And if he was given any sign, any inkling, any reason to believe that his best friend was in danger, James would not hesitate to break in and pluck him from their grasp.
“I think that worrying about him enough to care is all we can really do… for the time being anyway” he nodded at Remus earnestly who suddenly looked incredibly tired and bobbed his head in understanding.
James would’ve loved to be able to do something more. But right now, excluding forming the beginnings of his plan to break Sirius out, that’s all they could do.
The heavy atmosphere was then broken as the door swung open to reveal Peter carrying a whole entire chocolate cake on a gold platter.
Remus suddenly didn’t look as tired and James laughed.
"Godric that's a big snack!"
Peter was about to reply just as the door swung open once more with a filthy Sirius strolling through, shoes covered in mud and grass, patches of dirt spotted all around his clothes, his eyes gleaming with happiness.
"James you're going to have the best detention of your life tomorrow!"
"Lies"
"Right so bas-" Sirius walked to his bed and James saw Remus’ eyes immediately zone in on the mud tracks trailing from the door and as if Sirius had read his mind he gave him an apologetic glance and then flung his shoes off
“We were in the forest for basically the whole detention!" he burst out
"The forbidden forest?!" Peters eyes grew wide as he handed a slice of cake to James
"Yeah! there's a bit in the forest used for care of magical creatures lessons, that's where I went"
“Technically that’s not the forbidden part of the forest” Remus pointed out to which Sirius replied with a withering glare
"And what did you do?" James asked, waiting for further elaboration
"Well Hagrid showed me an actual unicorn and a baby hippogriff, it was so cool James I asked him if I could ride them, which he did say no to but also said I was free to ask Kettleburn once the Hippogriff grew up a little bit which makes me think Hagrid is very supportive of me in my endeavours” Sirius’s eyes gleamed as his gestured, talking with his hands "plus he gave me a bit of chocolate at the end of it as well, for my hard work”
James scoffed and in reply Sirius defended himself “I did do some work believe it or not, hauling around boxes stuff like that, I even had to get my hands dirty which honestly I hated and would not do again despite the chocolate, also he did offer me some rock cakes, but they looked a bit... rocky?" James laughed, spraying cake crumbs everywhere making the rest of them laugh as well, hunching over.
"So where are these rocky rock cakes?" James wiped some cake from his mouth
"Well I declined his offer, they looked a bit too rocky for my liking, looked a bit disgusting in all honesty"
"Tomorrow when Hagrid offers me rock cakes, I'll be a perfect gentlemen accepting and eating them without complaint because of how delicious they are, thus proving you Sirius Orion Black wrong" he wiggled his eyebrows, making Sirius snort
“If you say so, but just so you know James I won’t be helping you fix your teeth when they break”
“Oh please these pearlescent beauties?” he bared his teeth, showing all of them how perfectly white they were. Sirius cocked an eyebrow, looking like he wanted to laugh, Remus leaned back slightly a little weirded out and Peter did the opposite, leaning closer to inspect James’ mouth “These could never gain a scratch even if I tried ”
“You say that but even the best of teeth get damaged someway or another” Peter stated, looking as if he just said something made of pure fact.
“Yeah I agree with him” Sirius said almost reluctantly “I remember Regulus once chipped his tooth” a thoughtful look passed on his best friends face as if he was turning over the memory in his mind “It was so bad that he refused to talk to anyone but me for an entire week because he had such a bad lisp from it” he laughed a little “Even then he’d only talk to me out of pure necessity because I was making fun of him the entire time. And actually at first it went unnoticed by dear Walburga and Orion but it did eventually get to the point where if Regulus didn’t answer a question he’d get shouted at and so they found out when he finally responded and merlin was our mother angry. Punished him for reckless impropriety or some bullshit and then like the motherly person she was she fixed his tooth with a spell so that his mouth was back in order and he was lisp-free.” Sirius then tutted “Shame really I quite liked lispy Regulus”
“Lispy Regulus…” James breathed, trying to imagine what that would sound like based off of the one and only time he’d heard Regulus speak.
October 23rd
Defence against the dark arts was their second to last lesson that day and James had actually been excited for it. Usually they learnt about really cool and interesting spells and James actually paid attention, however there had been a mind-numbingly boring conversation held on pixies at the start of today’s class so he zoned out, assuming that was what they would be talking about the whole time.
He took out a spare bit of parchment and wrote
Oi. Entertain me
He then turned the note into a paper airplane, and when the professor wasn't looking he threw it into Sirius' direction.
Shouldn't you be listening?
Shouldn't you?
Fine. How should I entertain you my ever so gracious, all powerful and omniscient king?
King. I like that
Of course you do. Who wouldn't want to be king?
Why is everyone else working?
Probably because we were set work to do
Do you know what it is we're supposed to be doing?
Not a clue. You?
Wouldn't be asking if I knew
We'll be fine anyway it's probably easy stuff
“Once everyone has finished I will be asking you questions to test your knowledge”
James and Sirius shared a look between them - shit.
Both of them were pretty much top of the class despite the fact that their will to listen and actually do some work had slipped just a little bit compared to their avid determination to learn last year. Well maybe avid was an overstretch, but nonetheless he had found himself more motivated and less bored at that time.
He didn’t know about Sirius but personally James had been having very important daydreams about dinner and the gloriously cooked peas that were usually served on a Monday evening - honestly James could inhale a whole plate of them and still want more. The house elves had certainly mastered their pea techniques.
Sirius scribbled back a reply.
RJ might know?
As subtly as he could he took out another piece of parchment and started writing a note to Remus
Mate you know what we're doing?
Remus looked up at James, lifted an eyebrow as if to say ‘really?’ and then proceeded to put his hand up "Professor. What are we supposed to do after we copied the notes down on page eight?"
"Turn to page 12 in your textbook and read the section on Dark creatures"
A balled up piece of paper hit him in the arm and he scowled at Sirius who just shrugged, looking pleased with himself.
There you go you nerd enjoy learning
Hm I liked King better
And really?! You have the gall to call me a nerd when you read informational books for fun?!
I do not
Sure
Ok I used to
You still do
Fine but it’s only to learn about cool stuff like dark creatures before anyone else, it gives me the upper hand
James looked down at his textbook seeing a brief description on dark creatures
Important question - Vampires or Werewolves?
Werewolves 100%
Really?
No doubt
What makes you think that?
James eagerly looked over to Sirius so he could see him writing a reply. He had his quill in position, however his eyes weren't on the parchment but instead on Remus, as if he had everything to do with their conversation. Vampires and werewolves
It wasn't like he was a.... Oh.
OH.
They are so much cooler and they have a certain quality that vampires just... don't.
Sirius we need to talk straight after class
Sure, you ok?
James didn't know. So he didn't answer
He was hit in the face with a new scrap of parchment this time, not seeing it come toward him until the last second.
If you're not going to answer at least give me back the note
You could have given my eyes paper cuts you know
You’ve got glasses on you idiot
Why do you want to keep the note?
James threw back the original piece of parchment along with his reply
On another new bit of parchment Sirius replied
I like being able to carry our conversations around with me
James laughed a little, and honestly he thought it was sweet - only something a best friend would do.
They were all best friends, not just him and Sirius but Peter as well and Remus which is why they all needed to have a very important conversation, even if it was going to be difficult.
Godric’s sake he’s never had to have a conversation like this. But he was going to try.
As soon as defence against the dark arts finished they headed for transfiguration which could not have gone any slower.
James couldn't believe it. He kept looking at Remus on the way there and the boy was certainly looking worse for wear, perhaps even looking ill just like he did whenever he’d mysteriously disappear, saying he had a headache or going to visit his sick mum. Oh Godric was his mum even sick?!
James didn’t even care that he had lied about the main thing, James felt more odd about the fact he lied about his mother. He got why though, so maybe he didn’t really have the right to be mad about that. He didn’t have the right to be mad at all so he just let it go.
He also thought about the scars James had seen. Had Remus done that to himself? He must've done since there was no other explanation. Well there were other explanations but all of it just fit together so perfectly.
Were there more of them? That made him think back to the deep red cut sliced roughly across his friend's back, and when he thought about it really hard, he vaguely remembered a few other scars on Remus' body scattered here and there. He wasn't really sure to be honest, all his attention had been drawn to the obvious thing.
“Mr Potter you look like you are about to throw up” McGonagall peered at him, her eyes full of concern which James was actually quite heartwarmed by “Do you need to go to the hospital wing?”
He did feel sick because apparently thinking about jagged wounds that looked prone to bleeding was his weakness. But now was not the time for throwing up, or for going to the hospital wing so he just said he was absolutely fine and thought happy thoughts.
Well he tried to at least.
All focus had gone in transfiguration, they were doing easy stuff as well. They were going over the avifors spell which they had learnt last year and had even written a piece of homework on which was handed back to him fully marked that day.
Usually transfiguration was one of his best subjects (along with Defence against the dark arts) plus he had gotten Outstanding on that piece of homework and he always answered McGonagall's questions without hesitation, and had even gained her praise once or twice for excellent wandwork.
But today it was like all that information had fallen out of his head. Like his brain had been turned to sawdust.
It was so bloody cool. But also so bloody confusing. And bloody sad. And thinking back to the scars and... scrapes once again, it was bloody.
The second transfiguration was over he grabbed Sirius and sprinted away to an empty corridor as fast as he could, leaving Remus and Peter alone. He felt guilty of course, but how many times had Remus wandered off on his own? Exactly. Plus he had Peter with him, they’d be fine. That fact didn't make his guilt go away though and so he’d apologise later when everything was talked about.
Oh James wasn’t looking forward to that, but it had to be done. This was too big a secret, too heavy a weight for Remus to carry and bear all on his own.
"Oi! slow down will you?" Sirius panted as James came to a halt and drew his wand
"Muffliato"
"What did that do?"
"It makes sure no one can hear us" he pushed his glasses up his nose
"Where did you learn it from and why didn’t you tell me?" he demanded, sounding slightly offended.
"Remus. He got it from Evans who got it from Mary, but listen that's not the point" he looked at his best friend seriously.
"Then tell me the point James"
He glared at Sirius and continued "Right so…"