where fate brought us together

“I got in! I got in!” James dashed in through the door looking as triumphant as ever, black hair stuck up wildly, face red from exercise, glasses at the bottom of his nose (which he then pushed up to fit properly)

“Of course you did!” Peter squeaked, jumping up in excitement, going to clap his friend on th shoulder

“Well done James” Remus nodded smiling in congratulations, delighted his friend had gotten something he’d been rambling on about all throughout his letters over the summer and had obviously worked very hard for. Remus and Peter had been watching his tryouts, giving thumbs up of encouragement, and enthusiastic words to help lift the nervousness from James' shoulders, which he'd told them after he was really grateful for, because even if he was a brilliant flyer nerves were a perfectly normal part of the process.

Sirius had been there for support too, but for once he was the least enthusiastic out the three of them when it came to James, which was very strange even when he'd had a so called reason for being so sulky: despite wanting to get on the quidditch team himself, he hadn’t even attended the trial. This was because, according to Peter,  all he had been doing during Summer was practice being a beater. Thing was though, there were no beater positions available, and so Sirius wasn’t able to go out for the place he most wanted, the one he had apparently been working for. Remus didn’t even want to imagine how he had been doing that because knowing Sirius, he’d probably go around with a bat beating up bushes and claim it was practice.

Remus however, didn’t see why he had just given up all together, he could’ve still trialled because at the end of the day a place on the quidditch team was a place on the quidditch team! Right? 

Honestly Remus didn’t understand. 

But then he didn’t understand why James would exercise for ninety nine percent of his summer holidays either, so what did he know?

“You deserve it” he added on, marvelling at all that time and passion he'd invested into it all

“Thanks Lupin, can’t stay long though I’m off to go for our very first training session” James then sighed, grinning at them all, his eyes then flitted to Sirius, and his face turned into one of consolation “There’s always next year, they’ll definitely hold trials for everything since there’s so many seventh years in the team” Of course leave it to James Potter to show sympathy to someone he cared about no matter what.

Sirius just muttered in reply “Yeah” 

“You’re a brilliant flyer” he nodded purposefully “it’s just your luck mate, there’ll be another trial”

Before Sirius could grumble another reply Remus reminded James that he needed to go down to the quidditch pitch.

“Oh right yeah! Got to dash”

“Hang on!” Peter shot up from his seat excitedly “I’ll come watch!””

And the two boys left the room, leaving Sirius and Remus alone.

The other boy fell back from his upright position and groaned, Remus rolled his eyes because seriously?! Quidditch - especially when this matter was not in Sirius’ control - was not something to whinge over this much. He was also being a bad friend, because this was obviously one of James’ dreams come true and Sirius didn’t even have the courtesy to be supportive.

“Not even congratulations?” Remus prompted, setting down his book - To Kill a Mockingbird to be exact.

Sirius then craned his neck up, his eyebrows petulantly knitted together  “He’s showing off in front of me”

Remus scoffed “No he’s not”

In fact James had been quite humble about the whole situation - Sirius was being petty

Instead of saying anything, the other boy groaned letting his head fall back onto his unfluffed, slightly limp pillow. 

“I don’t know why you’re so insulted, you didn’t even trial”

And because Sirius reacted to literally everything and wasn’t the type of person to stop fidgeting he then sat up,  looking at Remus like he was offended by the literal truth. He then breathed out, shaking his head just a little bit “I would’ve like the chance”

“You did have the chance” Remus did not hesitate - this boy needed to get his head straight.

“No I didn’t”” he protested

“I’m pretty sure there were two positions open”

“I can’t go out for the same position as James can I?”

“Who said you couldn’t?” Remus raised a sly eyebrow "James is too good to hate you for it, you know that" and he could tell Sirius knew he was right by the immediate silence that fell on the room and the black-haired boy’s stunned face, huffy from the plain truth of it all.

Remus didn’t exactly smirk, but he made sure to twist his mouth in a way so that he could rub it smack bang into Sirius’ face. “Exactly, missed opportunity”

“Don’t you start throwing it at me too”

Today Remus was being blunt “Stop with that” you know all too well that this is on you “honestly I don’t see the problem, you chose not to trial” 

“It does not mean I don’t regret it!” Sirius threw his hands out, to which Remus did not react, keeping a neutral face.

“I didn’t say that”

“You implied it” the other boy huffed crossing his arms tightly around his body

“You’re allowed to regret decisions”

“Then why do you not have more sympathy?”

“Because it was still your choice, regretful decisions don’t always deserve sympathy”

“I think this is a decision that does”

“Not choosing to trial for the quidditch team in your second year at Hogwarts and then being upset for not getting into the team? I know it’s something you wanted to do, which is why it’s natural to feel regret, but no Sirius that does not deserve my sympathy”

Apparently this struck Sirius in a weird way as he looked a little odd, and Remus understood why, but he wasn’t going to start sugar-coating things. The other boy then opened his mouth to reply “It’s just that me and James do everything together, I’m supposed to be on the team with him”

“Just because you’re like best friends or whatever doesn’t mean you have to be the same person”

“We are not the same person!”

Then stop acting like you want to be is what he wanted to say but Remus opted to keep quiet and let the other boy stew in his own words, mull it over until the sweat was no longer bearable.

Which apparently for Sirius didn’t take too long at all, but Remus coul tell from the look on his face that he was coming to some sense. Then, as expected he changed the subject.

“What do I do then? How do I not regret it?”

Remus tilted his head, thinking, considering, “You already regret it, best thing you should do is move on”

He said that as if regret couldn’t be taken back, but to be fair it depended on the situation and this was something that Sirius would just simply have to let go.

“So what do I do? To move on?”

He shrugged

“Remus you’re clever”

“Psh”

“It’s true”

“Do you want my honest advice?”

“Yes please”

“Instead of sitting up here moping about a piss poor excuse for a problem, go to the quidditch pitch and support your best friend”

Silence.

“I don’t like honest advice”

“You asked for it” he shrugged his shoulders, reaching to pick up his book once again while Sirius grumbled at him, getting up out of bed in a resigned manner and making his way toward him

“Fine Lupin, but you’re coming with me”

Remus stared blankly at him for a second, wanting to say no so that he could stay here reading his book in peace, but for some reason he let the stubborn side of him go and then got up to follow Sirius out the door. 

They made small conversation as they made their way down the stairs, through the common room where some first years were being annoyingly loud, which prompted Sirius loudly complain so that they got his directed message. Then, as they went down the sets of stairs and corridors they had to tale to get down to the ground floor, the other boy then rambled on about how he hadn’t been that annoying as a first year. 

For the record, Remus disagreed.

They never did make it to the ground floor though.

A certain black-haired Slytherin boy had just turned the corner, his eyes widening as he stared at his older brother and skinny friend

“Sirius”

“Regulus”

He opened his mouth to say something, but then decided not to and instead just stood there looking at Sirius, with that blank look that Remus had come to associate Sirius’ younger brother with.

Sirius then sighed a little too loudly “What do you want?”

“Nothing” Regulus shrugged and then after a few beats said “You know... Slytherin is not as bad as you were making it out to be”

“Of course it is you’re just biased”

“You’re biased as well, I told you that at the beginning of summer”

“So is this what you wanted to tell me? That you’re having a fantastic time in Slytherin?”

Regulus frowned “No, I just… I just know it isn’t want you wanted Sirius”

“But it’s what you want?”

Regulus didn’t say anything, Remus thought he looked unsure but maybe that was just a trick of the light.

Sirius narrowed his eyes “Mother and Father showered you in praise yet?”

“They wrote”

“About how precious and perfect you are?”

“Sirius” and for the first time Remus saw Regulus’ face soften with the blurry lines of remorse, guilt that just could not be placed, nor pinpointed and never ever to be revealed to it’s full extent “…I’m sorry, ok?”

“You did what they wanted” Sirius replied, face tight, words having a bitter edge to them “That’s ok with me Regulus, no need to be sorry” 

Remus took a step back, sensing that maybe he shouldn’t be listening in to this conversation, and so was about to move even further away when Sirius, not even looking at him with a sudden super sense, said:

“Don’t step away Remus, I’m just explaining to Regulus here that there’s no problem, its all ok”

It wasn’t though was it? His foot was tapping somewhat nervously against the flagstone floor, his words were underpinned with harsh bitterness and his eyes were deep with emotion even if he was trying to act casual about it all. 

Now this, this type of regret deserved Remus’ sympathy even if he didn’t fully understand it all.

“Sirius”  

“Remus”

“You know what” Regulus interrupted, not a trace of emotion on his face, eyes now hardened to resemble bare stone, the opposite to before “I will leave you, I have a letter to write to mother and father” Sirius scoffed, rolling his eyes “Perhaps I will speak to you later Sirius” he then looked in Remus’ direction for the briefest of moments and then turned, going back the way he came. 

They actually did make it to the quidditch pitch. They watched James fly. They spoke to Peter. Peter was unaware of what had just happened to Sirius, he was talking to a very uninvested Remus about James’ flying, only stopping his commentary once or twice to let Remus mumble a vague reply. In the middle of one of Peter's rambles, Sirius felt Remus watching him. Sirius realised his leg was bouncing. He stopped it. He turned to Remus, raised an eyebrow.

Remus looked away.

Sirius continued to watch James and his excellent flying form, agile turns, swift passes, quick reaction times, the whole lot - he really did deserve it. Actually a small part of Sirius thought that even if he had trialled, he would not have gotten in despite what James had said, because had he worked as hard as James did over the summer? No, not really. Sirius had done fuck all in comparison to his best friend who had become a hardcore flyer over the holidays. 

Remus was right, he didn't like to admit it but he had been sulking and so a congratulations was in order.

Then the session finished and James landed smoothly on to the field. 

And then upon meeting James coming out the changing rooms Sirius smiled at him, feeling a little awkward but not showing this as he nodded 

“Well done James”

He then turned to Remus who didn’t look impressed, obviously looking for more out of him

Sirius needed to apologise, not just to impress Remus but to be a better friend as well - after all James deserved it “Sorry about before” he nodded, with a bit of an awkward smile on his face

“Thanks Sirius” James nodded happily “And don’t worry I understand”

And Sirius relaxed into a more comfortable grin

“How was the session?”

“You know, ok” he shrugged a little dismissively

“Tell us all about it!” Peter exclaimed, eyes searching for details 

“You were there Peter!” 

“Still! Tell us”

“Ok fine!” his eyes shined and James immediately launched into a ramble about all these drills and techniques they’d be trying, going into detail about how he had aced everyone of them, commenting on his first impressions on everyone else, explaining when all their matches would be and so on, until the conversation moved on to something else quidditch related 

“Potter, oi you awake?”

“I am now” James got up rubbing his eyes as he pulled the curtain open

Sirius then clambered in quickly, and pulled the curtains shut to not let the cold air infiltrate the perfect bubble of warmth 

“You’re an only child” he stated with no time to waste

James nodded groggily, using his elbows to sit up against the back of the bed, a look of dismay passing on his features “Unfortunately”

“I talked to my brother today”

“Blimey, you should’ve told me straight away if you needed to talk about, how did it go?”

“I’m not really sure” Sirius nodded, uncertain about everything piled into the section of his brain that occupied his thoughts on Regulus. 

At first he guessed he was fine with the conversation because he hadn’t thought about it too much. Instead he had done exactly what Remus had told him to do, go down to the quidditch pitch, watch James, congratulate him and come back up to their dorm talking about Quidditch team rankings with him and Peter while Remus ate a chocolate bar and did a piece of homework Sirius was planning to leave until the last minute.

But now that he had thought about the interaction that took place between them, he wasn’t sure how to feel, was he meant to be so conflicted?  What was he supposed to do now? What were the next steps? What did this mean for the future? These were all questions he had been asking since the sorting but also questions Sirius dared not to delve into any further. 

And really it shouldn’t have been a big deal, maybe if they had a different family and Slytherin wasn’t so linked with evil in his mind then absolutely nothing would’ve changed because it was just a Hogwarts House. But in their world, in their reality, it meant so much more, there was no such thing as ‘just a Hogwarts house’ because how he had been brought up, the pressure they were under, the way Slytherin house’s reputation had been warped from the very beginning when Hogwarts had been founded, it meant that it wasn’t just a big deal, but a ginormous one, capable of things Sirius was afraid of.

He didn’t think about it though, because Sirius liked to think that there was nothing in the world that could scare him. 

For now he just wanted to have a conversation with James and he was just going to talk, no meaning behind anything he said, not wondering about what it had all meant, he was just going to say what came to mind and be out with it. 

“Siblings are so weird don’t you think?” 

“They can be”

“That’s all you’ve got to say?”

“Well” James looked a bit puzzled “I don’t have much understanding of it, as we already established I… well I don’t have any siblings”

“Hm” he contemplated for a moment “What about Remus?”

“What about him?”

“Do you think he understands?”

James considered this “Maybe”

“Does he have a sibling?”

“Don’t know mate, seems like the type to but he’s never mentioned one”

Sirius contemplated this for a second looking at a space just over James’ shoulder “Maybe I should ask him”

James nodded a little reluctantly “If that’s what you want, then go for it”

“Remus? Remus are you awake?” he whispered as loudly as he could to get his attention

Sirius heard him roll over “What?” the boy sighed 

Sirius then slid into Remus’ bed accidentally sitting on his legs which made the other boy grumble and sit up, crossing his legs beneath him

“I didn’t say you could come in” 

“Too late”

Sirius then pulled his wand out casting a quick Lumos, the sudden light making Remus wince

“Christ” he scrunched his eyes up “Why are you here?”

“I’ve come to talk” he stated plainly

Remus’ eyes adjusted and he scowled at Sirius, not happy his sleep had been interrupted “What happened to James? Got bored of him did you?”

Sirius ignored that. 

“I’ve come to ask you something”

Remus gave him a withering look that said ‘get on with it then’

“Do you have a brother, or a sister?”

Remus didn’t reply and just looked at Sirius, in a tiredly confused way

“What?” Sirius raised an eyebrow

“I’m not good at giving advice Sirius” Remus shifted a little uncomfortably  “Wouldn’t you rather talk to James about this?”

“You’re my friend too, and anyway I already talked to him, I want to talk to you now. I need a second voice”

“Why not Peter?”

“No” he stated plainly

“He has a sister”

“I want to talk to you”

“Poor Peter”

“If I talked to Peter then you’d be the left one out and I can’t have that on my conscience”

Remus just sighed, shaking his head in disbelief

“So?” Sirius continued “Do you have a sibling?”

“Why does it matter?”

Sirius shrugged “It just does, to me”

A few seconds passed between them and then Remus spoke more softly than before “No, I don’t “

“RJ you wound me”

Rems rolled his eyes, but Sirius could see his eyes twinkle in amusement “I actually will wound you if you keep calling me that”

“Having a sibling is very common, I don’t understand how two out of four marauders don’t have one!”

“Maybe it’s not as common as you think”

“Apparently it isn’t, we’ve got an only-child problem amongst us Remus”

“Right” 

“People need siblings in this life”

“And how are you going to do that? Go knocking on people’s doors telling them to start getting busy in bed?”

He spluttered, a little shocked that his friend just said something like that “Well no I - I didn’t think of it like that”

“Well how else are you going to populate the earth with siblings?”

“I don’t want to repopulate the earth” he tutted, holding back the laugh that had almost escaped him

“Then this so-called only child epidemic carries on”

“Ugh stop making it all so complicated” 

“I’m not making anything complicated, you’re the one claiming there’s a problem in the first place”

Valid. He sighed like there was no other option but to give in “Well then maybe I should repopulate the earth”

“The earth is already populated to begin with”

Sirius inspected the boy in front of him “You are a confusing person”

“Thank you”

“Hm”

“The earth’s population is almost at four billion and its expected to double to eight billion in the next fifty years”

“Ok well I see why it’s a bad idea to increase the population then”

“I never said it was a bad idea”

“You implied it”

Remus shrugged

“Plus just listening to those numbers makes me feel cramped”

“So you’re abandoning your mission to populate the earth?”

“I guess”

“So you’re ok with people not having siblings?”

“Well that still needs to change, there are too many only children in this world“

“Why do you think so?”

“Because…” Sirius wasn’t sure if he should carry on, but he did anyway because he had come to talk and that’s what he was going to do  “because I need to talk to someone with a sibling who properly understands”

Remus nodded in a sympathetic way and then opened his mouth to reply, but Sirius interrupted, sensing what the other boy was about to say.

“Not Peter”

Remus then scoffed “What do you have against Peter?”

“I’ve got nothing against Peter, it’s just that he won’t understand” 

That was true. He had nothing against Peter, but he wasn’t someone he could talk to in a situation like this. 

“And you thought I would’ve?”

“It was more likely than Peter”

“What makes you say that?”

“His family, I know them better, I mean I don’t know what your parents are like, I’m sure they’re lovely because I’m guessing they raised you and you’re… you know.” Sirius struggled to find the words at this point because what could he possibly say to sum up the person Remus J Lupin was?  “Cool” yeah, that would do.. Remus was very cool  “I know the Pettigrews get on decently well with each other, plus I know they absolutely adore me”

The other boy took a while, but maybe that’s just what it felt like for Sirius. Then he quirked an eyebrow “After you broke Philomena's record player, really?”

“I was having fun on my holiday Remus you can’t blame me”

“Destroying record players and making blood pacts is what you call having fun?”

“Exactly, although the blood pact was a bit of a stressfully difficult experience for everyone involved”

“How come?”

“James is a wussy around blood” he laughed a little at the memory. Both of them bleeding, Sirius more than James, his pale-faced best friend insisting they go ahead with it while also simultaneously making a big fuss, causing the whole thing to take a lot longer than it needed to take.

Remus smiled a little, one of those softer smiles, a trace of sleepiness behind it  “Why am I not surprised?”

Then, after a few quiet moments, Sirius realised that he couldn’t just sit and stare at the boy opposite him, he needed to reply with something, anything would do really “I was surprised” 

Ok well that was a bit lame but he didn’t think about it.

And the conversation naturally came to an end as Remus then yawned, in turn making Sirius yawn and then go on to rub his eyes. 

Being with Remus at this moment had actually calmed him down a lot more than he had thought. Not that he was particularly riled up before it or anything, just maybe a little overwhelmed with his mind whirring away thinking over the day’s events. He was ok to move on now, the conversation with Regulus had happened, and that was that, he didn’t need to think about it.

He smiled at the skinny boy sitting in front of him, wearing a long-sleeved grey shirt but not high-necked enough to cover the top of a faint scar that Sirius could just about make out near his collarbone.

“I better head off to bed” he said scooching himself to the edge of the bed, ready to leave

“Goodnight Sirius”

“Goodnight” he then stood up, sliding through a small gap in the curtains, then - forgetting something - he poked his head through that very gap and whispered “and thank you”

Remus looked like he was about to laugh “I didn’t do anything”

“All I wanted was to talk”

Remus nodded “Goodnight Sirius”

And so he returned to his bed.