Morning Star

Regulus

"I'm sorry, you're what?" Dorcas asks incredulously.

"I'm with James now," he says for the seventh time since he got back.

"Right," Evan hums. "Are you sure that you didn't imagine it?"

"Yeah, are you still high?" Barty asks whilst waving a hand right in his face. Regulus swats it away.

"No," he answers. "I slept it off and then me and James talked. Look, I've already explained everything that happened. I'm with James now, that's all you need to know."

"I can't believe you told him you loved him for the first time whilst you were high," Emma chuckles, clutching onto her stomach, apparently struggling to catch her breath.

"Well, I'm happy for you, Regulus." Pandora stands up from where she was lying in Barty's lap and walks over to Regulus. She wraps her arms around his neck and nuzzles into him. "You deserve this and so does James."

"Thank you," he whispers.

"Of course, Reg."

"Why are you all dating Gryffindors?" Barty questions. He gets up from his bed and makes his way over to Evan, resting his head on the taller boy's shoulder. Evan blushes, which amuses Regulus. "You're all into arrogant, self-sacrificing people."

Emma mumbles something about how she isn't dating a Gryffindor, but her face reddens and she acts quieter than normal.

"Lily isn't arrogant," Pandora replies at the same time Dorcas says the same thing about Marlene. Barty raises an eyebrow at Regulus who just shrugs, "I'm not going to deny it. James is very arrogant."

"And you're smiling about that... why?" Evan muses.

"Because, believe it or not, most of the time what he is bragging about is true." Regulus' thoughts wander somewhere inappropriate for a moment and he feels as his cheeks heat up and the small smile on his face turns into a grin.

"Oh no," Barty groans. "He's too far gone. We can't save him now, he's under Potter's spell."

"To be fair," Evan tilts his head to the side and stares into space, "can you really blame him? The man is quite pretty."

"Oh, yeah, no. Don't get me wrong, I completely understand," Barty sends a wink to Regulus. "I just don't want Regulus to become one of those people who only spends time with his pretty, little boyfriend."

"You're one of those people," Dorcas counters.

"And James isn't little," Regulus says before he can think better of it.

Barty turns his attention back to him and Regulus watches as he gapes in slow-motion, making the whole situation more dramatic than it needs to be. "What do you mean by that Reginald-?"

"That's not my name."

"-is James Potter bigger than average? Would you say he is quite large ?"

Evan only cuts Barty off when he starts sizing out his hands, bringing them further apart and telling Regulus when he should stop. Regulus just stares at him blankly until he stops.

"Don't blame me for being curious, Reg. You knew this about me when you met me," Barty stretches out across Evan's lap now and snatches the boy's hand to bring to his hair.

"I'll see you guys tomorrow," Regulus mutters. He turns around again and starts for the door when Pandora gently takes his hand, turning him around.

"Where are you going?" She asks gently.

"To James," he mumbles and listens as - expectantly - all of his friends let out hoots and cheers. All, except Pandora, of course. "I'm going to stay there tonight- would you all shut up?"

"Say hello to Sirius for me!" Barty calls and Regulus leaves without replying.

Dinner has passed now and curfew is in a few hours. Regulus makes his way to Gryffindor Tower, where James should be waiting outside to let him in. He makes it to the sixth floor of the castle when someone grabs him tentatively by the hand. He spins around, wand out, but finds no one there.

"James," he says to the air. Lowering his wand, he steps forward and reaches out a hand. He grabs the fabric and pulls the Invisibility Cloak away to reveal his boyfriend (his boyfriend!! ) in his red hoodie and Muggle jeans.

"Hello, Morning Star." James grins down at him and takes one of his hands before pulling him into a kiss. It's only small, a greeting, but it makes Regulus' chest feel like it is collapsing in on itself anyway.

"I thought I was meeting you at the portrait?" Regulus asks as he pulls away, but not too far. James knocks their noses together, making Regulus' eyes flutter close at the contact.

"Do you want to go to my dorm or the Come and Go Room? I thought I would give you a choice," James whispers. He presses a small kiss to the tip of Regulus' nose.

"Hmm... a public dormitory with my brother only a meter away or a private room with my pretty new boyfriend?" Regulus hums sarcastically, as if the answer isn't devastatingly obvious.

"You think I'm pretty?" James raises an eyebrow.

Regulus scoffs and smiles. "Do you really insist on me stroking your ego?"

"You can stroke something else if-"

"Don't even finish that sentence," Regulus demands softly. "Come and Go Room it is."

They make their way there without the disturbance of any other students. Regulus assumes James only brought the cloak so that he could sneak up on him, since curfew still isn't for a while yet.

"I've been here a couple of times over the last month," James starts, putting his cloak down on the table near the door. "Guess what I found out?"

"What's that?"

Regulus indulges in the fact he can now freely wrap his arms around James' neck and feel as James holds onto his waist. And it's all real.

"When you're in the room, you can think of anything you want and it will appear."

"Oh... I'm going to test it. I won't tell you what I want, but we can see if it shows up anyway." Regulus closes his eyes and imagines the tallest tree he can; he imagines the night sky and the stars and moon.

When he opens his eyes, he comes face to face with James, who also has his eyes closed. Regulus turns around and gasps at the sight of the tree before him. The ceiling has extended itself to be higher than it was before. The tree must stretch on for miles.

"Wanna go for a climb?" James whispers directly into his ear from where he is behind them.

"Come on," Regulus takes his hand and they run towards the tree.

Of course, James is the first to make it to the top. Regulus doesn't mind though, he is too busy staring in wonder. The stars are not only above them, but surround them. He could almost reach out and touch one. They dance around him, huge balls of light, and glow eminently into the dark sky. He climbs higher, leaving some stars behind down below. Eventually, he finds James, who helps him up onto the last branch.

They sit side by side and admire the stars.

"Tell me a story," Regulus says after a moment. He turns to find James already watching him - he thought they had both been watching the stars, but James apparently only had eyes for the one right in front of him.

"Have you ever heard of Alice in Wonderland?"

***

Regulus wakes up the next morning in a daze. He remembers the night before vividly and smiles to himself.

James had told him all about Alice and this Wonderland place, which seemed completely mad to him, but James liked the concept of everything being backwards and odd. Once they had climbed back down to the ground, James had mumbled something about how Sirius had called his sex life "pathetic", so they spent the next couple of hours making use of the bed. Afterwards, they lay there, tangled limbs, rising chests, and messed up hair, talking for hours until they fell asleep.

Regulus can't even remember falling asleep.

His smiles only grows when he looks down and sees James' head on his chest. He has a tight grasp around Regulus' bare waist. His eyelashes flutter in his sleep and his cheeks are a sweet pink colour.

Regulus reaches his hand out and starts to stroke his fingers through James' unruly hair.

Oh, he loves this boy. So much.

He doesn't think he has ever or could ever love something as much as he loves James Potter.

"Mmm," James sighs contentedly. "Your heart is so speedy."

"Good morning, sweetheart." He continues to run his hands through James' hair, even when the boy turns his head to get a better view of him. Regulus is certain he literally melts when James shuts his eyes again and a sleepy smile takes over his lips.

"Morning Star," he whispers. "I love you."

"I love you, James."

James grins and then tucks his face back into Regulus' chest, trying to get closer, which seems to be an impossible task, much to James' apparent disappointment.

"We should head down to breakfast soon," Regulus mumbles, but he's barely even listening to himself. This morning is too important to ruin with something as futile as breakfast.

"How about a morning bath first?" James asks, returning to look into Regulus' eyes. He can see the green in them at the moment, dazzling and bright.

"Whatever you want," Regulus smiles. "But..."

"Not too deep. I know, love." James leans up. Regulus meets him halfway and they share a soft kiss. "Come on," James jumps up and holds a hand out for Regulus who stumbles at the sight of James... without any of his clothes on.

"What?" James questions. "You've seen this before."

Regulus raises an eyebrow and smirks. "Yeah but the difference is that I'm actually allowed to look now."

He takes pleasure in the way James' cheeks flush.

After their bath, James thinks up a whole wardrobe of clothes for them to wear. Regulus raises his eyebrows as James picks an outfit out for him to wear.

"What?" James grins brightly. "I think you would look cute in Muggle jeans."

"Of course, I would. But that's not the point. Where are my normal clothes?"

"There aren't any," James answers simply with a shrug as he gathers an outfit for himself. "Everything in this wardrobe are clothes I already own."

"So, you want me to wear your clothes?"

"Yes."

Regulus smiles and tries to hide it but fails miserably. "Fine," he mutters. It's worth it to see the elation on James' face.

He ends up in a white t-shirt and dark-blue jeans; he has never felt more unlike himself. James chucks a red zipped hoodie at him and this is where he chuckles.

"No."

"Why not?"

"Not red. If I have to wear this, it has to be black."

James waves his wand without a second of hesitation and transfigures it into a black hoodie instead. Regulus slips it on but keeps the front undone.

"I feel ridiculous."

"You look adorable," James beams. "Now for the shoes."

"What's wrong with my shoes?" He complains.

"They are too posh and won't match," James explains. "Here," he passes Regulus a pair of black Converses, which he puts on reluctantly.

When he's done doing up the laces, he glances up and gapes at the sight before him. James is wearing a white vest with a red button-down over the top, paired with a pair of jeans (a lighter shade than the ones Regulus is wearing), a black belt and red Converses.

He lets out a whimper and slaps his hands over his mouth, his eyes widening.

"I'll take that as a compliment," James winks at him as he plays with his hair in the mirror.

"Fucking hell," Regulus mumbles. "So you get to look like that and I have to wear children's clothes?"

"You're wearing my favourite outfit," James frowns.

Regulus wants to change that straight away. He moves forward, connecting their hands, and gives James a once over. "And you're wearing mine."

James grins.

"I still feel so undignified," he shakes his head.

"Get used to it." James leans down to kiss him.

James stuffs the Invisibility Cloak into his pocket before they leave for breakfast. He takes Regulus' hand freely and smiles when he squeezes him back. People openly stare and Regulus is not sure if it is because he is holding James' hand or because of his attire.

When they reach the Great Hall, Regulus starts to move towards the Slytherin table, only to have his hand dragged in the other direction. He finds himself sitting in between James and his brother at the Gryffindor table only a moment later.

"Reg," Sirius greets and then winks at him. "Fun night?"

"Shut up."

"Not so pathetic anymore, are we, Reggie?" James wraps an arm around his shoulders as he attempts to sugar his crumpet with one hand, but fails. So, Regulus reaches out and sprinkles sugar over one and spreads raspberry jam over the other. "Thanks, love."

"No problem," he takes a sip of his coffee. After a moment, he rests his right elbow on the table and links his hand with the one James has slung over his shoulders.

"Aww, aren't you two sweet?" Marlene McKinnon appears in the seat in front of them. She butters a crumpet and sends it over to Regulus. "Since James' hands are busy," she winks.

He thanks her, surprised she remembered what he preferred to eat in the mornings.

Remus Lupin approaches them with Peter Pettigrew, who sits next to Marlene. Remus leans down and presses a quick kiss to Sirius' head before pushing him along the bench, much to Sirius' amusement and surprise. He just slides right along. Remus sits between the Black brothers and focusses his attention on Regulus, which seems to make Sirius jealous.

"Morning, Reg." He smiles brightly at him as he spreads a thick layer of chocolate over his toast.

"Morning, Rem."

"Sleep well?" Remus asks and Regulus knows what he really means. Regulus is grateful he doesn't mention the nightmares in front of James - who he has not told about them yet.

"Yeah."

"We slept great," James adds through a mouthful of food. Regulus grimaces and leans forward to wipe at a bit of jam on the corner of James' mouth, before lifting it to his own. He sucks it off and then leans his head on James' shoulder.

"Oh, crap," Lily chimes in. "I think he broke James."

"The question is," Marlene says, gesturing with her hands, "was it the licking the jam thing or the head on the shoulder thing?"

Everyone bursts into laughter but Regulus pays them no mind.

The owls start flying in halfway through breakfast. Regulus spots the Potter's owl, it holds out it's leg with four letter attached to it. Remus leans forward and takes them all and then gives the owl the rest of his toast. It hoots happily in response and then turns to James with another sweet hoot before flying away.

Remus hands the letters out: one to James, one to Sirius, one to himself and - to his surprise - one to Regulus.

He opens the envelope and finds it is a letter from Effie and Monty.

_________

To Regulus,

I hope you are having a wonderful term so far. Monty and I want to apologise for not being able to attend your last Quidditch match. Congratulations on your win, dear! We are so proud of you and have a present waiting for you at home. You'll have to wait until the summer though.

We also want to wish you luck on your upcoming O.W.Ls; I know you will do brilliantly, you are a very smart young man, Regulus. Monty, of course, agrees with me, as he tends to do with most things. He sends his best and knows you will, in his words, 'smash it'.

I hope you are doing ok, my dear, after last term. If you ever need to speak with anyone, know you always have Monty or myself, as well as the boys. I hope you are handling everything alright. Don't worry, I'll say no more on the matter.

Professor Dumbledore has informed me you've been excelling in all of your classes this year. Again, I am so proud of you for trying your absolute best. I'm so glad to have a little genius in the family, not that James and Sirius aren't smart. You're just a bit smarter, but don't tell them that, I wouldn't want to offend them. You also have the added benefit of your brilliant behaviour. I'm surprised you were not made a Prefect.

I hope to hear from you soon, Regulus. We'll see you in the summer - don't forget about your surprise! I'm sure you'll love it.

Have an excellent term and best of luck for your exams, dear.

All our love,

Effie and Monty xxx

_________

Regulus feels warmth pooling in his chest; he's never received a letter full of so much genuine love and joy before. Effie seems to have that effect on everything and everyone she interacts with. He grins to himself and folds the letter up, tucking it carefully in his pocket, not wanting it to bend or crease.

"James," Regulus nudges him gently in the ribs.

"Yes, Morning Star?"

"Morning Star?" Mary questions.

"Oh, uh, a nickname," James replies. "Because he's named after a star and he has an obsession with the sunrise."

"I thought you meant Lucifer Morningstar," Lily chuckles.

"Who?"

"You know, the fallen angel."

James just blinks at her. "I have no idea what you're on about."

"It's fitting," Regulus murmurs, recapturing James' attention. "If anyone is a fallen angel here, it's me. You're the proper angel."

"Aww, shut up," James blushes. "What were you going to say before?"

"Oh, right." Regulus is suddenly very nervous. He fumbles with the zip on his hoodie and starts picking at James' nails with his other hand. "Do you want to... I have to- well, I don't have to. I want to. I am going to my cousin's- Narcissa's wedding in the summer and she said I could bring someone. If- if that's something you would want to do?" He silently curses himself for all the stuttering.

James smiles down at him, staring at him with what must be every ounce of love in his body. "Of course, I'll go with you!"

"Oh, thank Merlin." He leans back into James, relief pulsating through his body.

Later that day, Regulus writes out two letters. One of them is to Effie and the other to Narcissa; he accepts the request of being the ring bearer and let's one of the school owls fly off with it before he changes his mind.

On Monday, Regulus tidies up the classroom once everyone has left. Slughorn usually asks a student to do it, but today Regulus volunteers. Slughorn leaves for his break and Regulus takes the opportunity to raid the Potions supply cupboard of what he needs. He's done all of the research he needs now and only requires the supplies.

To his relief, he manages to get almost all of the ingredients he needs. All except the Mandrake leaf (but he can get that in Herbology) and the dew.

He puts the supplies in his school bag and heads straight for the abandoned girl's toilets on the second floor where he stashes his ingredients under one of the sinks. It's looser than the others and just so happens to have a snake emblazoned on the silver spout. Regulus saw this as a sign.

Next, he has Herbology, which he rushes off to immediately, skipping break.

When Regulus arrives at the greenhouses, Pandora is having a conversation with Professor Sprout. He walks past them, smiling politely first, and goes over to his seat. He sets his bag down and waits.

The class isn't supposed to start for another ten minutes, so no one else joins him. After a moment, Pandora gasps excitedly from the other end of the greenhouse and starts rambling something about, "Oh, really? Could you show me, Professor? I really would love to see how the seedlings are coming along."

The Professor starts leading them away and out of sight, but before Pandora is fully gone she turns to Regulus and winks. He sits there stunned for a moment... Does she know what he is doing?

Probably.

Pandora always seems to know everything. She has this impossible way of figuring out everyone's deepest secrets.

He takes this as his chance and speed-walks round the large table in the centre of the greenhouse and to the other side where - planted in the soil around the outskirts - are the potted Mandrakes. Regulus glances around quickly; when he finds no one, he plucks a leaf from the plant as subtly as he can and slips it in the vile he has in his robes for this exact moment.

By the time people start filing into the classroom, Regulus is already back at his seat, and it is as if nothing happened.

***

Halfway through the second week of May, Regulus finds the perfect opportunity to start the next step of his plan. Over the last weekend, he managed to acquire the final ingredient necessary - dew from a place neither sunlight nor human feet have touched, scooped up with a silver spoon. He doesn't add it to the mix yet and instead leaves it in a separate box, next to the rest of the waiting ingredients.

The next step of his plan is to keep the Mandrake leaf - of which he has kept preserved over the last nine days - in his mouth for a whole mouth.

His first proper step to becoming an Animagus.

To make sure it stays firmly in place, he uses a semi-permanent sticking charm, keeping it on the roof of his mouth. He also tries to cast a disillusionment charm on it, hoping no one (especially James) will notice it.

Luckily, avoiding James getting too familiar with his mouth is quite easy since he isn't able to see him much anyway. Regulus spends the majority of May studying and prepping for his O.W.Ls, which begin on the thirteenth of June.

Regulus is surprised he is getting away with it, to be honest. The only person he thinks might know, is Pandora. Although, she doesn't really count, since she is evidently psychic. Regulus has no other reasoning for it.

She never asks him about it, though, making him doubt that she actually does know.

He manages with the leaf quite well, the hardest part being when he is trying to eat. Thankfully, the sticking charm has been helping.

He just has to do this right.

***

James

Tonight is a good moon for Moony, he's been playing with Padfoot for most of the night. They've journeyed out to the Forbidden Forest, Wormtail sitting in between Prongs' antlers. When the wolf realises that Prongs is only watching from the side lines, he leaps forward, in a perpetually playful mood, and starts nudging the stag to join them.

Peter scurries from his head and to the floor where he rushes over to a tree and takes a nap on one of the roots.

Moony howls, quickly joined by Padfoot. Then, the wolf turns back to James and nuzzles into his chest, sniffing his scent and finding the familiarity of him.

Not prey.

Not food.

Pack.

Sirius follows and starts nuzzling James too. He leans down to sniff their heads. Moony looks up and licks his face and then turns to Padfoot and starts licking his face much more fondly. Padfoot licks back and James looks away, feeling (as absurd as it may be) like he is interrupting a personal moment.

Both dog and wolf go over to a private corner and curl down into each other. James makes his way over to the tree where Wormtail is still sleeping and lays down. He doesn't sleep, knowing one of them will have to wake the others before morning comes and they have to get Moony back to the shack.

He looks over at the two animals, hugged up together under the strong moonlight, and he misses Regulus.

***

"I got my timetable."

"And?"

"It's alright..." Regulus mutters. He starts fumbling with his robes under the table, so James reaches out and intertwines their hands together. Regulus smiles at him softly.

Sirius, who is sitting opposite them, snatches the piece of paper from where it was on the table and scans it with his eyes.

"What do you mean 'it's alright '? It's amazing! Look how many afternoon exams you have!" Sirius starts pointing harshly at the O.W.Ls timetable in his hand. "We only had two..."

James holds out a hand and Sirius passes it to him, still in a huff at what he is calling "his brother's ungratefulness".

He looks down at the covered parchment.

Ordinary Wizarding Level Examinations

Name: Regulus Arcturus Black

Year: Five

Commence-End: 13/06/1977-23/06/1977

13/06/1977 - 9:00AM - 3 hrs - Ancient Runes

14/06/1977 - 9:00AM - 2hrs - History of Magic

15/06/1977 - 13:00PM - 2hrs - Charms

16/06/1977 - 9:00AM - 1hr, 30 mins - Divination

17/06/1977 - 13:00PM - 2 hrs, 30 mins - Transfiguration

18/06/1977 - 13:00PM - 3hrs - Potions

19/06/1977 - 23:00PM - 1hr, 45 mins - Astronomy

20/06/1977 - 13:00PM - 2 hrs, 15 mins - DADA

21/06/1977 - 9:00AM - 3 hrs - Arithmancy

22/06/1977 - 9:00AM - 2 hrs, 45 mins - Herbology

23/06/1977 - 13:00PM - 2 hrs - Muggle Studies

"Oh, it's not that bad, Reggie," James smiles down at the boy, passing him back his timetable. "Since when did you take Muggle Studies?"

"I didn't, but I wanted to do as much as I could," he mumbles into James' shoulder where he now has his face buried. "Why ? Why did I do that?"

"Expectations," Sirius answers before shovelling a spoonful of porridge in his mouth. "Expectations," he points his spoon, "that no longer matter."

"Only a week to go," James whispers and Regulus groans again. "I'm sensing that I shouldn't ask you how you're feeling about that..."

"I'm fine."

Sirius and James share a look that says 'righhhhhtttt'.

"Well, I personally can't wait until you've finished with your O.W.Ls," James says in a low voice. "I miss you."

Regulus finally looks up. His eyes are soft and directed at James, he smiles, "I miss you too," before pouting. In front of them, Sirius starts fake-gagging. Regulus turns his head slowly, scarily, towards the noise and sends a deadly glare Sirius' way. It does not have the desired effect, as Sirius starts cackling.

June goes miserably for James, who barely gets a glimpse of Regulus during the next couple of weeks. He's spoken to Dorcas a few times in the lessons they share and she has updated him on how they are all doing, saying they usually spend most nights in their dormitory or the library - studying.

James asks her about Marlene and is pleased to hear that they are officially together now. 

"That's good," James smiles at her during one of their DADA lessons. "I'm glad Marlene managed to find someone. I've always liked you, Meadowes."

"I've always liked you too, Potter," Dorcas gives him a small smile back. He beams at her; sometimes it feels like a very difficult task trying to get Dorcas to like him, almost as if she is trying to convince herself she has to like him but doesn't actually want to.

"Really? I always thought you kind of hated me."

"I don't hate anyone, James." He tries not to let his smile grow at the use of his first name. "I just... I am very protective over Regulus and I wanted to make sure you wouldn't hurt him."

"I would never hurt him, Dorcas," James promises. "I love him."

She smiles at him again, but this time it's big and meaningful. It tugs at something in his chest and he gets the sudden urge to reach out and hug her. He doesn't. "I know you do."

The June moon goes as well as the last. Moony is a bit fussier than usual, but they blame it on the midsummer heat. They take him out to a small pond in the middle of the Forbidden Forest, where he splashes around in the water, cooling down. By the end of the night, they are all soaked, fur wet with sweat and water. 

On the afternoon of the twenty-first of June, the day after the moon, James is surprised when Regulus seeks him out in the library. He's looking for a book on Animagi, trying to find if there is a way they can perform magic whilst they are in their Animagus forms. This would make it easier to cool down the wolf during the warmer months of the year and avoid irritation, which could result in Moony being in a rather dangerous mood.

He smiles as two small hands cover his face from behind, immediately knowing who it is from the smell.

"Reggie," he grins and turns around.

Regulus doesn't answer him, nor give him any time to say anything else, before spinning him around, pushing him into the stacks of books and pulling him into a warm kiss. James is thankful they are in a more secluded part of the library, hidden behind shelves, out of view from any prying eyes.

When Regulus pulls away, he's wearing a sweet smile. James notices the slight black rings under his eyes and finds himself reaching up to rub his thumbs along them. He smiles back down and presses one more soft kiss to his boyfriend's mouth.

"Missed you too," he laughs quietly.

"Sorry," Regulus mumbles, looking at the ground, suddenly shy. "I just feel like I haven't seen you in ages."

"You don't have to apologise, Morning Star," James grins wider. "How did your exam go this morning?"

Regulus shrugs. "It was fine- long. Really really long," he pouts and James doesn't resist the urge to lean in and kiss that pout. "I know I said I couldn't see you much during exam season, but I couldn't help myself."

"I'm glad. I've really missed you."

"I've missed you too." Regulus nuzzles into the side of his face, resembling a horse, making James let out a soft giggle. "Do you want to know something I found out?"

"Go on."

"Whilst I was revising for Astronomy, I found out that Venus is a Morning Star." He raises an eyebrow and James smiles. "Sometimes it's a Morning Star and sometimes it's an Evening Star."

"Tell me more," James leans in and brushes their noses together.

"Venus is an Evening Star for two-hundred and sixty-three days out of the year and then it disappears from the sky for fifty days. Then, when it comes back it is a Morning Star for another two-hundred and sixty-three days before leaving again. The cycle goes on and on."

"Venus, huh?" James thinks for a moment and hums. "The goddess of love."

"Who?"

"In Muggle's Roman Mythology, Venus is the goddess of love..." he leans in closer, feeling Regulus' breath ghost over his lips, "...and beauty..." he moves in once again, so their lips are almost touching, "...and sex."

Regulus visibly gulps and then James pulls back, smirking down at him.

"Fuck," Regulus breathes, his eyes have fluttered closed. "I wish I could stay but I have to go and revise for tomorrow."

"Herbology?" James asks.

Regulus finally opens his eyes and it makes James weak at the knees seeing those eyes. "Have you memorised my whole timetable?"

"I have. I'm counting down the days until I am the first thing on your mind again."

Regulus leans forwards, finally pressing their lips together. When they pull apart, he doesn't go very far before whispering, "You're always the first thing on my mind, James."

James pulls him into a hug, breathing in the lemony scent of his hair and presses a kiss into his curls, reminding him a bit of the day they boarded the Hogwarts Express at the beginning of the year. He revels in the fact that he can finally enjoy Regulus as much as he wants now. Can finally breathe him in without seeming too weird. Can hold him as tight as possible without seeming too attached. Can kiss him all the time and not pretend it isn't real when it's actually the realest thing he has ever felt.

"Just two more days," James whispers after he has let him go.

"Two more days," Regulus smiles, turning to leave.

Later on, James is lying in his bed. Admittedly, he is in a strop. He loathes the fact that O.W.Ls run through weekends as well. All he wants is one more moment with Regulus, this morning in the library was not enough. He just wants to hold him and be near him.

He's rolling a rock - one from Harry - around in his hand when the door bursts open. Peter comes careening in, yelling each of his dormmate's names. Remus and Sirius are off somewhere and have been for hours - James doesn't even want to think about what they could be doing. So, it is only James that Peter turns to.

"Prongs! PRONGSSSS!" Peter jumps onto the bed beside him and starts wrapping him up in a rib-breaking hug.

"What is it, Peter?" James struggles to break free from the boy's grip; Peter is unexpectedly strong.

"She smelled me in her Amortentia, Prongs! ME!"

"Who?"

And James knows it's a stupid question as soon as he asks it because Peter has only been talking about one girl since all the way back in September. It's surprising, really, because Peter is usually with a new girl each week. However, ever since he set his eyes on Emma Vanity, he hasn't been able to shut up about her. It's ridiculously annoying. Although, James supposes, he hasn't shut up about Regulus over the last couple of weeks either, so he is just as bad.

"'Who' he says," Peter mutters before raising his voice again. "Emma, of course! That means she loves me, Prongs! She! Loves! Me!"

"Way to go, Wormy," James smiles. "I knew you could do it."

"It gets better," Peter explains before settling himself properly on James' bed and lying down on his pillow. James sighs and follows him down. They face each other as Peter relays the story to him. "She was mumbling something about not wanting anyone else to tell me because some girl in her year- Nora, I think, said my name out loud. I was so confused and said 'what are you on about' and so she explained to me everything that happened. Then, she said 'fuck it' and she kissed me, James!" 

James can't help but smile at how happy his friend seems to be.

"It was the best kiss ever as well because it was her. I couldn't breathe because I was so happy, I'm still so happy. I can't believe she likes me, actually properly likes me. She's so cool and beautiful and smart and- oh, she would make a great Marauder. She's so sneaky."

His eyes light up as he continues to ramble about Emma for the next hour and James finds that he doesn't actually mind. Peter lets him natter on about Regulus for just as long after, seeming just as invested in James' love life as he is in his own.

By the time Remus and Sirius have returned, James and Peter have fallen asleep. Bundled up in blankets. James' head on Peter's chest and Peter's arms around his friend. Both still in their uniform. 

***

Regulus

Regulus finished creating the Potion for his transformation almost two weeks ago now. He's been tapping his wand over his chest every sunrise and sunset, repeating the incantation necessary. It took him only a week to start hearing that second heartbeat, telling him he's doing everything correctly. 

He's just finished his final exam, it was Muggle Studies, the one he wasn't feeling too confident about. The first thing he does once he's finished is go out to the grounds. He heads down to the Oak tree and sits under it, staring out at the lake. 

It's not as intimidating as it had been a couple of months ago. Knowing Harry is in the depths, able to protect him from any dangers lurking beneath, is a big reassurance. Besides, if he stays away from the edge, he won't have to worry.

He sits in silence for a little while, enjoying the feeling of the wind rushing through his hair and smelling of pollen and grass. His brain feels light and relaxed for the first time in months. Regulus settles backwards and leans into the firm bark, letting the sounds of students back in the castle drift towards him and mush together into background noise. 

"Hello, Regulus."

Regulus squints his eyes and sees a strike of ginger hair. He opens them properly and meets the greenest eyes he has ever seen, somewhat similar to when James' are in the sun, though significantly less brown.

"Lily?"

"How did your exam go?" She asks with a small, kind smile.

"It was alright," he shrugs, closing his eyes again. He listens as she shuffles closer but doesn't touch him. "It was Muggle Studies. Interesting but difficult."

"I wouldn't know," Lily chuckles softly. She's silent for a few minutes and Regulus thinks she may have left, until she begins speaking again. "It's nice out here. Tranquil."

He opens his eyes and turns his head to meet her gaze, but she's staring out at the lake before them. Her eyes are ablaze with light from the golden sun, reflecting the rippling water of the lake. He smiles at her and then turns his focus to the lake too.

"That's why I like it. It's... separate from everyone else."

"Pandora talks about you a lot," she says suddenly.

"She's my best friend."

"I really like her," Lily whispers and Regulus watches as she looks down at her hands. They are pulling on strands of grass, plucking them from the ground. She rips them up until they are in tiny bits and then starts the cycle all over again. "I love her, actually," she glances up at him. 

Regulus examines her for a moment. She has orange freckles, a similar colour to her fiery hair, that cover her nose and cheekbones. She's got quite a small nose, short and pointy, much like his own, making her look like a pixie. She has small lines around her eyes and the corners of her mouth - not wrinkles, just lines that show she smiles a lot. Like she is always happy. Her hair ripples down, settling in curls, reaching to her shoulders.

He remembers when he first saw Lily Evans. Pandora, of all people, had pointed her out. Regulus recalls that her hair had been much longer, resting on her hips. It had been a bit darker then, it being Autumn, rather than the middle of summer. She had been smiling then too, mid-conversation with Dorcas. 

Regulus already knew Dorcas at this point, considering her an elder sister to him. 

They made their way over to the two girls, Pandora first, Regulus second. Pandora bounded over, appearing excited to introduce herself to the red-headed girl.

Dorcas turned to say hello to them and instantly pulled Regulus - who had been shorter than her at the time - under her arm. He didn't mind much, but only if it was her. Only Dorcas could do this. He trusted her. She was nice and older, so he trusted her.

The girl with hair more red than the brightest fire turned her attention to the two new arrivals. She was already smiling, showing a gap where a tooth should have been in the bottom row of her teeth. Regulus couldn't help but smile back, as if it were compulsory with her, albeit a bit shyly.

Pandora had grinned and held her hand out to the Gryffindor. "I'm Pandora Lestrange."

"Lestrange?" Lily had asked cautiously. "Like Rabastan and Rodolphus?"

"My cousins," Pandora tutted and shook her head. "We aren't close." She wiggled her fingers and Lily looked down at it and then back at the girl. Her face took on a new expression as if she were seeing her for the first time. She smiled sheepishly at Pandora, her eyes not moving from her face, and took her hand.

"Lily Evans."

"Ooh! Lily, like the flower? I love plants!" Pandora had beamed. She turned to Dorcas and Regulus. "This is Regulus."

"Sirius' brother?" Lily asked.

"Yes," he has mumbled. Sirius hadn't spoken to him for a couple of months at that point... "It's a pleasure to meet you."

Lily had giggled and shook his hand. "A real pleasure," she said through her still-lasting laughter. 

"How long have you liked Pandora?" Regulus questions, feeling as if he already knows the answer.

Lily blushes so profusely that her skin begins to match the colour of her hair and her freckles disappear beneath it. "A... very long time."

"Like the flower?" He raises an eyebrow, knowing she is one of the few people who would understand what he means.

She looks back at him, her lips tipping up at one corner. "She always has liked plants, hasn't she?" 

It isn't really a confirmation, but Regulus knows he is right. He thinks it's sweet and is happy that they have finally found each other. 

"I'm happy for you both. I'm also very glad that Pandora loves someone as kind as you, otherwise I am sure I wouldn't approve."

Lily scoffs, but Regulus sees her smiling through it, "Approve?"

"She's my best friend," he repeats.

"And James is one of mine," Lily counters.

"So, do you approve?"

"I do," she nods slowly. "You're good for him."

"I mean this in the least rude way possible," Regulus says gently, "but what are you doing here?"

"I was wondering if you were planning on seeing James today?" Lily asks cautiously. Regulus nods at her in response, he had been planning to go and visit James later. It's been ages. "Look... there's something you should know. Marlene told me she kind of explained it to you, but not properly and you should know. If James hasn't told you by now- we've given him enough time... you have to know. If you're spending as much time alone with him as you do. Plus, you guys are obviously closer now, so yeah, you should know..."

"Lily?" Regulus moves forward, taking her hand before he thinks about it. "What's wrong? What are you talking about? Is James ok?"

"He... well- uh- James has depression," she whispers. "He has days where he's fine and days where it's just awful and... he doesn't like to take his medicine because he always says he's fine. That there is no reason for him to be depressed. He's happy. He'll say it all to you too, but he isn't fine. He has to take his medication," Lily explains and Regulus listens to every word. "Have you ever spent a day with him and he's just been kind of... shut off? He'll smile and act happy for the benefit of you not worrying about him, but he..." she sighs like she's struggling to describe it, "...it's almost as if there's a dark blanket over his perception of the world sometimes, like a dementor is sucking all the good out of it."

"How has it taken a year for someone to tell me this?" Regulus asks, staring at the ground. He feels angry and guilty and sad and... he just wants to find James.

"We've been waiting for him to tell you, it's his place, but he hasn't. It isn't safe for you not to know anymore."

"Isn't safe?"

"You need to know the signs. When to touch him and when not to. When to comfort him and when to leave him be."

"I... yes, he has been like this before, I just... I can't believe I didn't know. I should have known. I-"

"Regulus," Lily interrupts quietly. "It isn't your fault."

"I should have been there for him."

"It's ok." She leans forward and then hesitates. "Can I hug you?"

"Yeah," he nods.

Lily wraps him in her arms and he almost lets out a sob and the immense comfort he feels. He's only felt this once before, with Effie. Lily has such a motherly hug, the ability to make you feel so safe and so loved. 

"I'm sorry I had to tell you," she whispers into his hair. "I volunteered."

"Why you?"

"I thought it would be easier to hear from someone you don't know very well," she sighs. "James is having one of those days today. It's not too bad, but I thought you should know. Hug him and comfort him today, if you can, of course. If he doesn't want to talk too much, then don't make him. Just talk to him, he likes hearing people talking, it helps I think."

Regulus' heart breaks because he thought he knew all these things about his own boyfriend, how to comfort him and make him feel better. He's been so blind.

"Ok," he breathes. "Where is he?" Regulus sits up, carefully pulling out of Lily's grasp. He can feel the unshed tears in his eyes. 

"He's in his dorm. The boys have left him alone, they said he was asking for you."

Regulus shoots up straight away, Lily follows him. He strides towards the castle with Lily in tow. Once they have made it to the Gryffindor common room, he turns to her and smiles gratefully. "Thank you for telling me, Lily."

"Of course, Reg," she smiles back and then makes her way up the girl's staircase. 

Regulus takes the stairs to the boy's dormitories two at a time. He knocks on the door when he arrives and hears nothing, so he slowly opens the door. When he enters, he almost cries at the sight in front of him.

James is lying in a ball on his bed, wrapped up in blankets that Regulus knows have come from Remus' bed. He's wearing one of Regulus' hoodies and is rolling something around in his hand. But worst of all... his face is broken as he sobs openly. Regulus can see the tears glistening as they fall down the bridge of his nose and down the opposite cheek before falling on his bed.

"James," he whispers.

"Regulus." James doesn't look up at him, but his voice sounds so cracked and fragile.

Regulus remembers what Lily said and makes it across the room in a second. He lays down on the bed behind James, curling up in a way similar to the other boy so that their bodies are as close as possible. He wraps an arm around his torso and brings the other to his hair, lightly scratching at his scalp to soothe him. He presses a gentle kiss to James' temple.

"I'm sorry," James sobs. "I don't know why I'm crying... I shouldn't be- I know there's no reason for me to be-" he continues to cry hard, so hard his face scrunches up. Regulus feels his heart break in his chest. It beats fast with panic, in a rhythm that is saying 'this isn't right this isn't right this isn't right'.

"Do not apologise, sweetheart." He rest his head on James' so they are cheek to cheek. "Lily... she explained everything to me. Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because it doesn't make any sense," James whispers. "I have no reason to..."

"James, depression can sometimes just happen, there is no single reason for it." Regulus feels as his own tears start to fall. "It's fine to not always be the happy one. To not always be the one there for everybody."

"But I-"

"I know you love being there for people," Regulus whispers. "I love that about you, but sometimes you have to focus on helping yourself before you can help other people. Sometimes when you're not one-hundred percent there yourself, it won't help someone else anyway. There are other people to be there for the other people. If you don't tell people that you aren't ok, then how are they going to be there for you? You can't always be there for yourself, sweetheart. That's just not how it works."

"I don't want to be a burden," James admits.

Regulus tighten his grip around him and quickly presses another kiss to his temple. "You could never be a burden, James. When Sirius is having a bad day, do you think he is a burden? When Remus isn't feeling well after a moon, do you think he is a burden? When I'm upset because of my past, do you think I am a burden?"

"No," James says quietly.

"Then that is that. You are not a burden, James, you are just someone a lot of people love." Regulus hears as he sobs again. "That is why so many people care when you are having one of these days, because they love you and they want to make you feel better again. You understand? We want to, James."

James sniffles and then nods. "Ok," he mumbles.

"I want to be here for you, James. If you'll let me," he whispers.

"Anything for you, Reggie."

"Good. Then listen, I'm going to tell you a story." He smiles brightly when he hears James laugh, it's weak but he'll take what he can get. "It's about a big house with a red door and a golden, lion doorknocker, and an aged fountain overrun with brambles right on the property line."

***

The next day brings a daunting storm - the sky is squished behind the thick, dark clouds that threaten to implode at any moment. The air is strong with an electrical feel - somewhat similar to magic - and smells like the ghost of petrichor.

Regulus wakes up still snuggled next to James. The air, despite the weather, is scorching, meaning he wakes up drenched in sweat. James is still sleeping soundly when he wakes. He hadn't meant to fall asleep here, but he also hadn't not meant to.

He gives James a quick squeeze before slowly pulling away and out of the bed, not wanting to wake him but also needing to escape the suffocating heat. 

Sirius smiles at him from Remus' bed and Regulus sees the other boy is still fast asleep, much like James. Regulus smiles politely back.

"Is he alright?" Sirius asks. "We couldn't get him to talk yesterday. Lily said she told you."

"Yeah, he's... I think he's ok. We spoke for a bit and then he fell asleep."

"That's good," Sirius looks down at his (Remus'? ) bedding and places the book he had been silently reading aside before he meets Regulus' eye again. "I want to apologise for not telling you about him, Reg."

"Honestly, Sirius, it's fine. Really. Lily explained it all and I don't blame you, I understand." He nods his head genuinely and then spins on his feet. "I'm gonna have a wash."

"Make yourself at home," Sirius chuckles, returning to his book. "There should be a spare towel in the cabinet just outside the bathroom. 

"Thanks," Regulus calls back in a whisper, not wanting to disturb any of the sleeping boys in the room. He can hear Peter snoring from behind the closed bathroom door.

Once he is in the bath he tries to focus on literally anything else other than the water. He's gotten into the habit of having someone talk to him from the doorway, whether it be Evan, Barty, James or even sometimes during the Easter holidays, Remus.

He thinks about the weather, it being the first basic thing that crosses his mind, and can't help but feel apprehensive and a bit excited. If he is lucky, this might just be the storm he has been waiting for. Which, honestly, would be very lucky on his part, considering the fact he has only been working on this for a couple of months.

Regulus gets out of the bath, pulling the plug and watching as the water and bubbles are sucked away down the drain. He wraps himself up in a towel, drying and drying until he is red raw and then he casts a drying spell on his hair and skin, just in case. 

He quickly realises he didn't bring a fresh set of clothes with him and only has his sweaty uniform lying on the floor beside him. Regulus makes the split-second decision to wrap the towel around his hips, they protrude out slightly just above the towel. He bundles up his clothes and holds them in one arm before leaving the bathroom.

The first thing he notices is that Sirius and Remus have gone, their pyjamas discarded on the floor. Peter is still snoring from behind his bedcurtains. Regulus remembers that it is a Friday and they all probably still have classes - he's done with them until the end of term, thanks to having completed his O.W.Ls.

His gaze goes over to James' bed. James is sitting up, staring back at him with his mouth agape.

"What?" Regulus asks, making his way back over to James. "Are you alright?"

"You're in a towel," James squeaks. He's wearing his glasses now, which magnify his eyes on top of the fact they are wide with... something...

"Payback," Regulus smirks, thinking about that time he had fell asleep in Sirius' bed and James had walked into the dorm room in the morning in nothing but a towel.

"Why are you in a towel?" James asks, sending a quick look around the room.

"I forgot to bring spare clothes," he replies a bit sheepishly. "Do you mind if I borrow some?"

"Borrow? You- you can keep. Anything. You want." James gulps.

Regulus laughs at how inarticulate he is being and shakes his head. He leans in and presses a small kiss to James' lips before sliding back off the bed and making sure his towel is still securely covering him. He digs around in James' trunk and eventually pulls out something mildly resembling his own clothes.

He doesn't bother with underwear, knowing it wouldn't really make a difference anyway. Letting the towel drop, he hops into a pair of dress trousers and doesn't ignore the noise James clearly tries to muffle. He fails. Regulus smirks up at him.

"You fucking tease," James complains.

Regulus raises an eyebrow at him. "Better hop in the shower, sweetheart, you have class." He buttons up a blue shirt he manages to find - not his usual colour, but better than red - and tucks it into the trousers. 

James huffs and gets out of bed, but before he passes Regulus, he takes a hold of his hips, making Regulus smile. He leans forward and presses a heated kiss to Regulus' lips, not even trying to be sweet.

Regulus makes a noise of surprise and quickly recovers, kissing him back just as hard. He wraps his arms around the back of James' neck and plays with the hair at the nape of his neck.

"I love you," James whispers when he pulls back.

"I love you, mon soleil."

James pouts and kisses him swiftly once more before heading to the bathroom. Regulus stays and waits for him in his bed until he is out and watches as James changes before finally waking Peter up.

"Morning, Reg," Peter yawns as he makes his own way to the bathroom. 

"Morning," he responds.

"Come on," James takes his hand, pulling him gently from the bed. "Let's go eat."

They go down to the Great Hall and Regulus drags James over to the Slytherin table today, not that he seems too mind much. They sit opposite Evan and Barty, who both ask Regulus where he went off to yesterday and all of last night, though they both smirk at James.

"Where's Pandora and Dorcas?"

"At the Gryffindor table," Evan points to somewhere behind them. "With their girlfriends."

"We should just get a shared table at this point," Barty chuckles. "Dating a Gryffindor is becoming popular."

"I'll take Remus, you take Black," Evan winks down at his boyfriend and Regulus groans, interrupting Barty from whatever he was planning on responding with.

"That's my brother," he grimaces. "Where's Emma?" He attempts to change the subject.

"Uhh..." Barty looks around the hall and then grins, eyes set on something in the distance. "With Pettigrew apparently."

Both Regulus and James turn around to see Emma and Peter walking into the hall, hand in hand. Regulus smiles at the way Emma stares at the boy beside her, apparently smitten. Instead of joining the Gryffindor table with all the other couples, they join the Slytherin one instead. Also, with all the couples.

Barty, Evan and Regulus all raise their eyebrows at Emma, who sits beside James, apparently feeling like this is the safest option.

"Good morning, Emma," James grins at her.

"Morning, Po- I mean James. Sorry, force of habit from the pitch."

"S'fine," James responds. He seems much better than he was last night, more happy. Regulus still makes a mental note to speak to him about everything at a later date.

"I promise I'm only going to say one thing and then I'll drop it," Barty suddenly says in one breath.

Emma turns to him with a look of dread on her face. "What?"

"Well done for finally getting him to settle down," he winks at Peter, who blushes. "From all of the shit Sirius has told me about how he hasn't stopped talking about you for a year, I am relieved for all of the Gryffindors."

James raises his goblet of pumpkin juice. "Here, here."

Barty, Evan and Regulus all meet his goblet with their own and then gulp down their drinks.

"Are you finished?" Emma asks, her arms are crossed.

"Yep. Happy for you, Em." Barty blows her a kiss.

"Can we talk about anything else," she mutters, playing with the bacon on her plate.

So, they move the conversation to a bunch of other topics. James and Peter eventually have to leave for their lessons, both kissing their other half.

"I'll see you later," James promises and Regulus pulls him by his collar into another kiss.

"See you later."

"I'll find you," James whispers and Regulus doesn't doubt he will. He loves that James is always able to find him.

"You'd better."

***

Lightning.

Regulus spots it instantly. He's sitting in his bed, reading a Muggle book that Remus lent him, when he sees it. 

Ignoring the way Barty and Evan yell after him, he picks up his wand and rushes through the dungeons and up to the second floor. He rushes into the abandoned girl's bathroom, thankfully avoiding Moaning Myrtle, and pops the loose sink out of it's place.

He reaches for the crystal vile inside and gasps with surprise and relief when he sees a mouthful of blood-red Potion inside. Grinning, he stuffs it in his pocket and runs back down the moving staircases, only being delayed once, and then out into the castle grounds. He runs all the way to the forest, remembering the time he was there last. With James, of course. He trusted James to keep him safe.

Regulus runs and runs until he is sure no one will be able to spot him, but not so far that he will approach anything potentially dangerous.

He places his wand-tip to his heart and chants the words, "Amato Animo Animato Animagus". Then, he brings the vile to his lips and drinks down the whole Potion without a moment of hesitation.

Dropping the vile to the floor, he gasps at the fiery pain that shoots through his body. Feeling it vibrate in his fingers and toes and radiate through his arms and legs and... a double heartbeat starts thumping in his chest. He watches in his mind's eye as an animal shape begins to form and he remembers the instructions: do not fear.

But he isn't afraid at all.

He can't wait.

He drops his wand onto the floor beside a nearby tree and feels as his body begins to reshape itself into something smaller, something more animalistic. Letting out another gasp, he feels his limbs shrink and transform, his head is the last to change, which he imagines would appear very ridiculous if there were any witnesses.

The pain subsides and turns into something tingly. Regulus blinks and he is suddenly seeing out of another's eyes. So similar to his own, yet entirely different.

He looks down and comes face to face with two black paws, both the size of a large coin. It reminds him of the dream he once had where he was running through the trees of the Forbidden Forest with a stag, a rat, a dog, and a wolf.

He feels so small, so comfy in his new fur-coat, so... free.

Regulus Black is an Animagus.