One shots - Meadema

The final whistle had blown, the match was over, and the usual post-game routine began. Shaking hands, exchanging words, acknowledging the effort.

Beth went through the motions, offering nods, claps on the back, the occasional, “Good game.”

West Ham had played well. Lisa had played well.

Beth didn’t think much of it at first when she saw Viv talking to her.

Of course, they would talk. They had dated for years. They had history. It wasn’t weird.

Beth forced herself to look away, to focus on something else, but the moment the team broke out of their post-game huddle, her eyes immediately found Viv again.

She was still talking to Lisa.

Beth watched as Viv laughed—really laughed, the kind of easy, genuine laugh that Beth didn’t see often these days.

And then, as if it wasn’t already annoying enough, Viv casually slung an arm around Lisa’s shoulder.

Beth’s stomach twisted.

She hated that she noticed.

Hated that she cared.

Hated even more how she was standing there, watching, while Viv was over there wrapped up in someone else.

“Beth.”

Beth barely reacted as Steph stepped up beside her, following her gaze.

She felt Steph’s knowing sigh before she even said anything.

“Stop staring,” Steph muttered under her breath. “People will notice.”

Beth tore her eyes away, exhaling sharply. “I’m not staring.”

Steph huffed a quiet laugh. “Yeah, sure. And I’m about to sign for West Ham.”

Beth clenched her jaw, rolling her shoulders back. “I just—”

Steph gave her a pointed look. “You’re jealous.”

Beth scoffed, too quick, too defensive. “I am not.”

Steph lifted a brow, nodding toward where Viv and Lisa were still talking, still laughing, still in their own little world.

Beth refused to look again.

Steph smirked. “You so are.”

Beth groaned. “Can you please just—”

“Beth,” Steph interrupted, voice lower now, more serious. “It’s Viv.”

Beth swallowed, shifting on her feet.

Steph didn’t say more. She didn’t need to.

Because it was Viv.

And maybe Beth didn’t have the right to feel like this, didn’t have the right to hate the way Lisa touched her, didn’t have the right to want to pull Viv away from this conversation, from this moment, from her.

But Beth did.

She did feel like this.

And she didn’t know what the hell to do with that.

Viv wasn’t even thinking about Beth.

Not because she didn’t care—but because, for the first time in a while, catching up with Lisa actually felt easy.

“How’s your knee?” Lisa asked, nudging her lightly.

Viv rolled her eyes. “Don’t start.”

Lisa smirked. “I have to. It’s in my contract. Ex-girlfriends must be concerned about each other’s long-term physical well-being.”

Viv let out a small laugh. “Oh yeah? What else does the contract say?”

Lisa hummed, pretending to think. “That I’m allowed to kick you if you ghost me for months.”

Viv winced. “I didn’t ghost you.”

Lisa gave her a look.

Viv sighed. “Alright, maybe a little.”

Lisa smirked. “Uh-huh.”

Viv nudged her with her shoulder. “How’s West Ham treating you?”

Lisa shrugged. “Good. Different, obviously. But… good.”

Viv nodded. She was happy for her. She really was.

Lisa hesitated, then asked, “And you?”

Viv exhaled, running a hand through her hair. “You know me.”

Lisa gave her a knowing look. “That’s not an answer.”

Viv huffed a small laugh, then shook her head. “I’m alright.”

Lisa studied her for a second. “Yeah?”

Viv hesitated, just for a beat too long.

Lisa smirked. “Maybe I should ask Beth.”

Viv’s eyes narrowed slightly. “What does Beth have to do with anything?”

Lisa tilted her head, expression unreadable. “Nothing. Maybe everything.”

Viv opened her mouth, but Lisa just grinned, reaching out to ruffle her hair.

Viv ducked away with a groan. “You’re annoying.”

Lisa laughed. “You love me.”

Viv rolled her eyes, but she didn’t argue.

As they reached the tunnel entrance, Lisa suddenly stepped in close, wrapping her arms around Viv in a tight hug.

Viv froze for a second, then slowly wrapped her arms around Lisa too.

Lisa squeezed her once. “It was nice to catch up.”

Viv nodded. “Yeah. It was.”

Lisa pulled away, offering a small smile before turning toward the West Ham dressing room.

Viv watched her go for a moment, then let out a slow breath, running a hand through her hair before heading toward Arsenal’s.

Beth was already inside the dressing room, ripping off her socks with too much force when Viv finally walked in.

Beth didn’t look at her.

Didn’t acknowledge her.

Just focused very hard on shoving her boots into her bag.

But Viv, of course, sat down right next to her.

Beth clenched her jaw. Of course she did.

“Hey,” Viv said casually, completely oblivious.

Beth didn’t answer.

Viv nudged her knee. “Beth.”

Beth exhaled sharply, turning to look at her, trying to sound as neutral as possible.

“What?”

Viv tilted her head slightly. “You good?”

Beth gave her a tight-lipped smile. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

Viv blinked, studying her for a second. “No reason.”

Beth nodded, turning back to her bag. “Cool.”

Viv hesitated, clearly confused by the shift in her mood.

Beth was not in the mood to explain.

She was not in the mood to acknowledge it at all.

So instead, she got up quickly, slinging her bag over her shoulder.

“I’m gonna head off,” Beth said, too abrupt, too cold.

Viv’s eyebrows pulled together slightly. “Beth—”

But Beth was already walking away.

She didn’t stop.

Didn’t look back.

Didn’t let herself think too hard about why she was so fucking annoyed.

Because it wasn’t her business who Viv talked to.

It wasn’t her place to care.

And yet—she did.

Beth had completely forgotten.

Which was ridiculous, really, considering she was the one who had invited Viv over for dinner in the first place.

But after the match—after seeing Viv with Lisa, after letting herself spiral into something she refused to acknowledge—the entire plan had slipped away.

So when the knock came at her door, Beth wasn’t expecting it.

She opened it, standing there in sweats, hair tied up in a lazy bun, face bare, fully prepared for a night of sulking alone.

Viv stood on the other side, hands shoved into her jacket pockets, shifting slightly on her feet.

"Hey," Viv said, offering a small smile.

Beth stared at her.

“What are you doing here?”

Viv’s smile faltered instantly.

Her eyebrows pulled together slightly, confusion flickering in her expression.

"Uh…" She hesitated, glancing at Beth’s casual appearance before carefully saying, "Dinner? You invited me?"

Beth froze.

Oh.

Shit.

She had invited Viv.

But now, standing here, seeing her, remembering everything from earlier, feeling that stupid pit of irritation still burning in her stomach, Beth suddenly wished she hadn’t.

Viv shifted again, clearly picking up on the tension, the way Beth wasn’t greeting her like she normally would.

“If this is a bad time, I can—”

Beth sighed sharply, stepping back and waving her in, but not saying anything.

Viv hesitated, then stepped inside, closing the door softly behind her.

Beth immediately turned toward the kitchen, not bothering with any of the usual warmth.

Viv lingered near the entrance, her eyes flicking to Beth, cautious now.

“You okay?” Viv finally asked, her voice softer than before.

Beth let out a small, humorless scoff.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” she muttered, reaching for a pan, a little too forcefully.

Viv frowned slightly. “I don’t know. You just seem… weird.”

Beth turned, arms crossed, expression flat.

“Like what?” she asked, voice sharp, more clipped than she intended.

Viv blinked at the tone, visibly caught off guard.

“I don’t know,” Viv admitted, shifting awkwardly. “Just—different.”

Beth huffed, turning back to the stove. “Well, I’m not.”

Viv didn’t respond right away.

Beth could feel her still standing there, still trying to figure it out.

Then, more carefully—“Did I do something?”

Beth let out a sharp, impatient sigh.

“God, Viv, not everything is about you.”

The second it was out of her mouth, she regretted it.

Viv didn’t move.

Didn’t argue.

Didn’t snap back.

She just… went completely quiet.

Beth didn’t dare turn around.

Didn’t want to see whatever expression was on Viv’s face.

Instead, she focused too hard on stirring the food, ignoring the way the silence settled into something heavier.

After another beat, Beth finally risked a glance over her shoulder.

Viv was standing by the couch now, but she wasn’t sitting, wasn’t moving—just standing there, staring at nothing.

Her hands were still in her jacket pockets, shoulders a little tense.

Beth could tell she was thinking. Probably overthinking.

Beth turned back to cooking, jaw tight, guilt creeping in, but her frustration keeping it at bay.

After a moment, Viv finally moved, quietly sitting down on the couch.

Beth could feel her there, but she didn’t look.

She just kept stirring, the only sound in the apartment now the clatter of a spoon against the pan.

Viv didn’t say anything.

Didn’t ask anything else.

And Beth hated how much she wanted her to.

Dinner was awful.

Beth had called Viv over when it was ready, forcing her voice into something neutral, casual, as if the air between them wasn’t thick and heavy with everything they weren’t saying.

Viv had sat down without a word, picking at her food, barely eating, barely looking up.

And Beth hated it.

Hated the silence, hated the way Viv seemed so far away, hated that she was the reason for it.

But she was still jealous. Still annoyed.

Still too stubborn to admit what was really bothering her.

So she sat there, pretending to eat, pretending not to notice how Viv looked absolutely miserable.

By the time dinner was over, Viv quietly took her plate, carried it to the sink, and rinsed it without a single word.

Beth swallowed hard, watching from her seat, chest feeling tight, guilt pressing down on her.

She wanted to say something.

Wanted to fix it.

Wanted Viv to stay.

But she didn’t.

She just stayed sitting, silent, stuck, pride still weighing her down.

Viv dried her hands, grabbed her jacket from where she had draped it over the chair, and finally turned back to Beth.

"I’m gonna head out," Viv said, voice quiet, expression unreadable.

Beth’s fingers curled into the fabric of her sweats.

She wanted to tell her to stay.

To say anything.

But instead, she just nodded stiffly.

"Okay."

Viv stared at her for a second.

Beth could feel it.

Could feel the hesitation, the weight of whatever Viv was trying to hold back.

Viv took a slow breath, grip tightening on her jacket.

And then, just as she was about to step toward the door, she froze.

Beth knew it was coming before Viv even turned back around.

Knew she had pushed her too far, hurt her too much.

Viv’s lips parted, her breath shaky as she exhaled.

And then, softly—

"I don’t understand you."

Beth blinked, stomach twisting immediately.

Viv swallowed, her throat visibly working as she tried to keep herself together.

Tried not to break.

But her eyes were already turning red, her voice already shaking.

"I don’t—" She let out a small, sharp breath, shaking her head. "I don’t know what I did."

Beth opened her mouth, but Viv kept going.

"You invited me over, and then you—" Viv clenched her jaw, looking away for a second. "You act like you don’t even want me here. You barely talk to me. You barely look at me. And I—I just don’t get it, Beth."

Beth felt like she was sinking.

Like the words were slamming into her, one by one, forcing her deeper into the guilt she had been trying to ignore.

Viv exhaled again, pressing the heel of her palm against her forehead for a second before dropping it back down, her hand curling into a fist.

"You know, I thought we were good," Viv admitted, voice quieter now, more raw. "I thought this—whatever this is—I thought it meant something. That I mattered to you. That we mattered to you."

Beth swallowed hard.

Viv let out a shaky laugh, but there was no humor in it.

"But maybe I got that wrong, huh?" Viv’s voice cracked at the end, and she immediately clenched her jaw, blinking fast, trying to keep it together.

Beth felt sick.

Viv shook her head, exhaling sharply.

"I don’t understand you," she whispered again, barely audible now.

Beth could feel her chest aching, burning, screaming at her to just say something, to fix it, to reach out and pull Viv back.

But she didn’t move.

Didn’t speak.

Didn’t let herself.

Viv waited.

Waited for Beth to say something, to give her anything.

But Beth stayed silent.

Viv’s lips pressed together tightly, and she nodded once, quickly.

"Okay," she muttered, voice barely holding.

Viv’s hand was already on the doorknob when Beth finally snapped out of it.

"Stop."

It came out sharper than she intended, desperate, unfiltered.

Viv froze.

She didn’t turn around immediately, but Beth saw the way her shoulders stiffened, her grip on the doorknob tightening.

Slowly, Viv turned back to face her, her expression a mix of hurt, frustration, and something Beth couldn’t quite name.

Beth swallowed hard, her heart pounding now, everything screaming at her to fix this before it was too late.

She took a shaky breath. “I—”

Viv’s eyes didn’t waver.

They just searched Beth’s face, waiting.

Beth clenched her fists at her sides, feeling embarrassed, vulnerable, ridiculous—but she had to say it.

“I was jealous,” she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper.

Viv’s brows knitted together slightly.

Beth let out a slow breath, shaking her head. “I saw you with Lisa after the game. I saw you laughing with her, touching her, and it just—” She exhaled sharply. “It got to me.”

Viv blinked, clearly caught off guard.

"You were jealous?" she repeated, voice softer now, like she was trying to understand.

Beth scoffed, running a hand over her face. "Yeah. Apparently, I was."

Viv didn’t say anything for a moment.

She just stood there, processing, her eyes still slightly red, her face still tight with the weight of the night.

Beth expected her to leave anyway.

Expected her to shake her head, mutter "whatever," and walk out that door.

But she didn’t.

Instead, Viv just… stared at her.

Beth felt the weight of that stare settle over her, making her shift on her feet, suddenly uncomfortable in her own skin.

Viv let out a slow breath, shaking her head. “Beth…”

There was something so raw, so tired in her voice.

"I don’t get it," Viv admitted, voice barely above a whisper. "I don’t get why you would—why you would treat me like that just because I talked to Lisa."

Beth clenched her jaw. "I told you. It got to me."

"But why?" Viv pressed, stepping closer now, searching Beth’s face. "Beth, do you not trust me?"

Beth’s stomach twisted.

"I trust you," she muttered, her voice quieter now. "I do. It’s just—"

She swallowed, looking away.

Viv tilted her head slightly, waiting.

Beth let out a slow, controlled breath, then finally admitted, "I hated seeing you with her."

Viv blinked again, her expression softening slightly, but she still looked hurt.

"You know I’m not with her," Viv said carefully. "You know that’s over."

Beth nodded quickly. "I know. I do. But it just—it still got to me, okay?"

Viv exhaled, rubbing her temple like she was trying to sort through the mess Beth had created.

"I just don’t get why you couldn’t just say that," Viv muttered, shaking her head. "Instead of shutting me out. Instead of making me feel like I was nothing to you tonight."

Beth winced, because hearing it like that hurt.

"I didn’t mean to—"

"But you did," Viv interrupted, her voice breaking slightly. "Beth, you did."

Beth’s chest ached.

Viv looked at her now like she was trying so hard to stay composed. But her eyes were still red, her lips were still pressed tightly together, and Beth could see the way her throat worked as she swallowed thickly.

Beth stepped closer, cautiously.

"I’m sorry," she whispered.

Viv let out a small, humorless breath.

Beth hesitated, then reached out carefully, gently placing her hand on Viv’s arm.

Viv didn’t pull away.

But she didn’t lean into it either.

Beth felt a lump forming in her throat. “I mean it.”

Viv finally looked up at her again, her expression unreadable.

Beth felt like she was standing on the edge of something fragile.

Viv exhaled, shaking her head slightly, but then—finally—she spoke again.

"I don’t want to be treated like that again," she murmured, her voice soft but firm. "Not by you."

Beth nodded quickly. “I won’t. I swear.”

Viv searched her face one last time, then let out a quiet sigh, shoulders relaxing just a little.

Beth finally felt like she could breathe again.

Viv hesitated, then tilted her head slightly, a ghost of a smirk tugging at the corner of her lips.

They stood there, the tension still lingering, but something else had settled too—something fragile, something waiting.

Beth let out a slow breath, watching Viv carefully, the way her lips were slightly parted, the way her expression was still guarded but her body had softened, just a little.

She wanted to fix this.

She wanted to show Viv how much she meant to her.

So she smirked, nudging Viv lightly with her foot.

"Think you can forgive me?" she teased, voice just a little playful now, testing the waters.

Viv let out a breathy laugh, shaking her head. “You’re impossible.”

Beth grinned. "Yeah, but you still put up with me."

Viv sighed, rolling her eyes, but Beth could see the tension in her shoulders starting to melt.

Beth reached out, fingers brushing against Viv’s wrist, barely there, just enough to make her look up.

Beth’s voice dropped, teasing but laced with something more vulnerable.

"You like me too much to be mad at me forever," she murmured.

Viv arched an eyebrow, but her lips twitched, just slightly.

Beth took a slow step closer, her hand sliding up Viv’s arm, tracing her skin lightly.

Viv didn’t stop her.

Beth’s heart pounded, adrenaline mixing with something softer now, something desperate, something she had been holding back.

She tilted her head slightly, eyes flickering between Viv’s lips and her eyes, waiting.

Viv swallowed, but she didn’t pull away.

So Beth made the choice for both of them.

She leaned in slowly, cautiously, and pressed a soft, lingering kiss to Viv’s lips.

Viv froze for a second.

Then she sighed into it, her body finally relaxing, her hands coming up to Beth’s waist.

Beth felt the relief rush through her, the warmth of Viv’s touch grounding her, making her feel something more real than her jealousy ever had.

She kissed Viv again, deeper this time, slower, letting herself get lost in it.

Viv’s hands tightened on her hips, pulling her closer, her breath warm against Beth’s lips.

Beth felt the need growing inside her, the need to feel more, to be more, to take and take until there was nothing left between them but this.

She pulled away just enough to whisper, her breath brushing against Viv’s skin.

"If you can forgive me," she whispered, voice low, unsteady, "then make me feel it. Make me feel like I’m yours."

Viv stilled.

Beth could feel her breath hitch, could feel the way her fingers gripped the fabric of her shirt tighter, like she was anchoring herself.

Beth swallowed hard, tilting her head, pressing the words against Viv’s lips this time.

"I need to feel you want me."

Viv let out a shaky exhale, her forehead resting against Beth’s for a second, like she was trying to gather herself.

Then, slowly, carefully, deliberately, Viv kissed her again—

And this time, there was nothing soft about it.

Beth felt it then.

The way Viv’s hands curled into her, pulling her closer, claiming her.

Beth’s breath hitched as Viv’s hands tightened on her thighs, fingers firm and steady, grounding them both in the moment.

She was still perched on the kitchen counter, legs wrapped around Viv’s waist, body burning with anticipation, with need.

Viv’s lips brushed over Beth’s jaw, then her neck, then her collarbone, her mouth lingering, teasing, like she was memorizing her with every soft kiss, every graze of her teeth.

Beth’s fingers slipped into Viv’s hair, gripping, urging.

"Viv," Beth whispered, voice low, breathless, already desperate.

Viv hummed, her hands sliding up Beth’s thighs, fingers tracing fire over her skin, teasing the hem of her shorts.

"Let me take care of you," Viv murmured, her lips barely grazing Beth’s ear, her voice husky, warm, certain.

Beth swallowed hard, her entire body shivering at the promise in Viv’s words.

"Please," she whispered, a quiet plea, her body already surrendering.

Viv exhaled softly, her hands moving with intention, parting Beth’s thighs slowly, carefully, her fingertips just barely skimming where Beth needed her most.

Beth’s breath stuttered, her back arching, her thighs tightening around Viv’s waist.

"Relax," Viv whispered, kissing the corner of Beth’s mouth, her hands now pressing, guiding, exploring.

Beth let out a soft, frustrated whimper, her hips subtly rolling forward, seeking more.

Viv smiled against her skin, loving the way Beth responded, the way she trembled under her touch.

"Patience," Viv teased, her voice soft but filled with something possessive, something wanting.

Beth let out a quiet curse, her fingers tightening in Viv’s hair.

Viv finally gave in, her fingers slipping beneath Beth’s shorts, feeling the heat of her, the way she was already so, so ready.

Beth let out a sharp inhale, her head tilting back slightly, lips parting.

Viv kissed along Beth’s throat, slow, lazy, purposeful, her free hand gripping Beth’s waist, steadying her.

Beth felt like she was on fire, like her entire body was pulsing with need, with want.

Viv’s fingers moved expertly, soft at first, teasing, before pressing deeper, finding exactly what made Beth shudder, what made her whimper.

Beth’s thighs clenched around Viv’s hips, her breath coming in short, uneven gasps.

Viv exhaled deeply, watching her, watching the way Beth reacted, the way her body responded to every movement, every flick of her fingers.

"That’s it," Viv murmured, her lips pressing against Beth’s jawline, her pulse point, her collarbone, everywhere she could reach.

Beth whimpered, gripping Viv’s shoulders, holding on for dear life.

Viv’s rhythm was steady, precise, and Beth could feel the coil tightening deep inside her, feel herself unraveling, losing herself to Viv completely.

"Viv—" Beth gasped, her voice breaking slightly, her head falling against Viv’s shoulder.

Viv’s fingers moved faster, firmer, knowing exactly how to push her over the edge.

Beth felt it coming, the build-up, the way her body tensed, needing release, needing Viv to take her there.

Viv whispered something against her skin, something in Dutch, something that sounded like pure worship.

And then—

Beth shattered.

Her entire body arched, her breath caught, her hands gripping Viv like she was her only anchor in the world.

Viv held her through it, her free hand rubbing soothing circles on Beth’s hip, her lips pressing gentle kisses against Beth’s shoulder.

Beth’s breathing was erratic, her skin flushed, her mind blank.

Viv didn’t move away, just stayed close, grounded, present.

Beth let out a shaky breath, her forehead resting against Viv’s.

For a long moment, neither of them spoke.

Then Beth chuckled weakly, her hands slipping down to trace over Viv’s forearms, still feeling the aftershocks pulse through her.

"I think you just killed me," Beth whispered, voice hoarse.

Viv smiled, nuzzling against Beth’s cheek, her breath warm. “You’re still breathing, so I think you’ll live.”

Beth grinned, pulling Viv in for a slow, lazy kiss, her hands tangling in her hair again.

"Stay," Beth whispered against her lips, a quiet plea, an offering, a promise.