let the seasons change my mind

Sirius had always prided himself on being a carefree spirit, someone who lived in the moment and didn't waste time dwelling on the past. However, as he watched Remus withdraw into himself day after day, it was impossible not to feel a sense of guilt and sadness gnawing away at him. He couldn't shake the feeling that he should have noticed something was wrong sooner. After all, he and Remus had been roommates for over a year now, and Sirius had always considered himself to be quite perceptive when it came to other people's emotions. But somehow, he had missed the signs that Remus was struggling.

It wasn't just that Remus had become pale and withdrawn - although that was certainly worrying enough on its own. No, it was the way that he seemed to carry himself, as if he were bearing a great weight on his shoulders. Sirius had never seen him so gaunt or so tense, and it broke his heart to think that his friend was suffering so much.

And then there were the nightmares. Sirius had always known that Remus was prone to bad dreams, but he had never heard anything like the bloodcurdling screams that had been echoing through their dormitory every night. It was like something out of a horror movie, and Sirius couldn't help but wonder what kind of demons Remus was battling in his sleep.

All of these thoughts weighed heavily on Sirius's mind as he watched Remus disappear into the library night after night. He missed their old banter and their friendly competition, but more than that, he missed the light that used to shine in Remus's eyes. It was like his friend had lost something essential, something that couldn't be replaced.

He tried to talk to Remus about it, but the other boy was closed off and distant, refusing to confide in Sirius or anyone else. It was like he had built a wall around himself, shutting out the world and all its problems. Sirius couldn't help but worry about him, though. The dark circles under his eyes and the haunted look in his gaze were clear signs that something was very wrong. He couldn't stand to see his friend suffering like this, and he was determined to find out what was going on and help him in any way he could. Sirius had always prided himself on his ability to read people, but with Remus, he felt like he was hitting a brick wall. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't break through Remus's defenses. It was as if his friend had gone to great lengths to conceal whatever was troubling him. Even during their shared moments of comfort, Remus remained tight-lipped and unresponsive.

***

Sirius sat down on the edge of Remus's bed, his heart heavy with concern. "Hey, Moony," he said softly, "I've been meaning to talk to you about something."

The boy didn't look up from his book, his amber eyes glued to the page. "What is it?" he asked, his voice flat and uninterested.

Sirius hesitated for a moment, wondering how to broach the subject. "I just wanted to check in on you, you know?" he said finally. "You haven't been yourself lately."

Remus sighed, closing his book and setting it aside. "I'm fine, Sirius," he said wearily. "Just a little tired, that's all."

Sirius wasn't convinced. "It's more than that, Moony," he insisted. "You've been spending all your time in the library, and you look like you haven't slept in weeks. What's going on?"

Remus shook his head, his eyes downcast. "It's nothing, really," he said. "Just some personal stuff I'm dealing with."

Sirius frowned. "You don't have to deal with it alone, you know," he said gently. "I'm here for you, always."

Remus gave him a small smile, but it didn't reach his eyes. "I appreciate that, Sirius," he said. "But I really am okay. I just need some time to work through things on my own."

Sirius nodded reluctantly, not wanting to push too hard. "Alright, if you're sure," he said. "But just remember, I'm here if you need me."

Remus nodded, and Sirius got up to leave, his heart heavy with worry. He couldn't shake the feeling that there was something seriously wrong with his friend, and he didn't know what to do to help him.

***

Sirius approached Remus cautiously, his heart heavy with concern for his friend. He had noticed Remus's increasingly withdrawn demeanor and knew he had to try and talk to him. As he walked towards the side of Remus's desk, he could feel the tension in the air.

"Hey, Moony," Sirius said softly, "I've been worried about you. Is everything okay?"

Remus just stared at him blankly, his eyes devoid of any emotion. His usual warmth and friendliness were replaced by a coldness that sent shivers down Sirius's spine. It was like Remus was a completely different person.

"I'm fine," Remus finally replied, his voice flat and monotone.

Sirius knew that was a lie. He had seen the dark circles under Remus's eyes, the way his hands shook when he thought no one was looking, and the haunted look in his eyes that never seemed to go away.

"Come on, Remus," Sirius persisted, "you can talk to me. Whatever it is, I promise I won't judge you."

But Remus remained closed off, his body language defensive, his gaze distant. Sirius could see the wall he had built around himself, and it was impenetrable.

"I said I'm fine," Remus repeated, his voice growing firmer. "You don't need to worry about me."

Sirius knew he wasn't going to get through to Remus, not today. He could see the pain and anguish etched on his friend's face, but there was nothing he could do to help him. With a heavy heart, he turned away from the desk and gave Remus a last, longing look before leaving the room.

As he walked back to their dormitory, Sirius felt helpless and frustrated. He wanted to help Remus, to make things better, but he didn't know how. All he could do was wait and hope that Remus would eventually open up to him, or someone else, before it was too late.

***

Sirius began to feel a growing sense of frustration and helplessness. He didn't know what was wrong with Remus, but he knew it was serious. It was like watching someone drown without being able to throw them a lifeline. He wanted to do something, anything, to make Remus feel better, but he didn't know where to start.

As time went on, Sirius became increasingly concerned. Remus's gaunt appearance and withdrawn demeanor were only getting worse, and the nightmares that plagued him every night were becoming more frequent and intense. Sirius would lie in bed, listening to the horrifying screams piercing the quiet of dormitory 2B, and wonder if there was anything he could do to help his friend.

Despite his best efforts, Sirius couldn't shake the feeling that he had let Remus down somehow. He had been so focused on their rivalry and the thrill of competition that he hadn't paid enough attention to the person behind the competition. Now, he was paying the price for his lack of empathy.

***

Sirius had just fallen asleep when he was jolted awake by a bloodcurdling scream coming from Remus's bed. He sat up, heart racing, and saw his roommate thrashing about in his sleep, sweat pouring down his face. Sirius quickly realized that Remus was having one of his nightmares again.

Without a second thought, he jumped out of bed and ran over to Remus's bed, shaking him gently and calling out his name. Remus's eyes flew open, and he gasped for air, still caught in the grip of the nightmare. Sirius sat down on the edge of the bed, and Remus clung to him like a lifeline, tears streaming down his face.

"It's okay, Remus," Sirius whispered soothingly, rubbing circles on his friend's back. "You're safe now. It's just a dream."

But Remus was inconsolable, whimpering "please, stop, no, I don’t want this" over and over, his body shaking with fear. Sirius felt a chill run down his spine at the sheer horror in his friend's voice. He held Remus close, trying to offer whatever comfort he could. He knew that no amount of words could take away the pain and trauma that Remus had endured, but he hoped that his presence could at least offer some solace.

Eventually, Remus's sobs subsided, and he pulled away from Sirius, wiping his tears with the back of his hand. "Sorry," he mumbled, looking down at the blankets.

"You don't have to apologize," Sirius said firmly, putting a hand on Remus's shoulder. "We're here for you, no matter what. You're not alone in this."

Remus nodded, and the two of them sat in silence for a while, both lost in their own thoughts. Sirius knew that Remus was carrying a heavy burden, and he wished there was more he could do to help him. But for now, he would simply be there for his friend, offering whatever comfort and support he could. "What happened? What did you dream about?" he asked, trying to comfort his friend.

Remus was hesitant at first, but eventually, he opened up. "It was Fenrir," he said, his voice trembling. "He was there, and he was hurting me again. I couldn't do anything to stop him."

Sirius felt a wave of anger wash over him. He didn't know who this 'Fenrir' was, but Sirius couldn't believe that he had hurt Remus like this. He wrapped his arms around Remus and held him close, trying to offer some comfort.

"I'm so sorry, Remus. You didn't deserve any of this," Sirius whispered, feeling tears prick at the corners of his eyes. He knew that there was nothing he could do to change what had happened, but he was determined to be there for Remus, no matter what. Remus looked up at him, and for a moment, Sirius thought he saw a glimmer of hope in his eyes. It was a small victory, but it was enough to give him the strength to keep trying, to keep reaching out to his friend and offering him the support and comfort he needed.