A Deeper Understanding
-Part 3: Belle Fyre
June 20th, 1976
"I pronounce you both to be Husband and Wife." The officiant they had hired to marry them said softly before he stepped away. He then used a Polaroid camera to snap a picture as Belle embraced her husband into a kiss.
He took a few more photographs of them before bidding them a long and happy marriage. Belle and Ed then held each other tightly, in a moment Belle wished she could have bottled. It had always been their intention to marry alone, on the beach as the sun set behind them.
Her dress floated as they walked together, arm in arm through the ocean, both completely devoid of shoes or inhibitions. It certainly wasn't the reception Vivi had intended for them, but it was exactly as Belle desired. Quiet and warm while they walked along the beach.
She felt like the most beautiful woman in the world. Her dress was a complete and opulent vision of blues, greens and white. The periwinkle flowers in her hair matched the ones she carried in her hands.
Ed had rolled up the legs up on his dress pants, and due to the unprecedented heat, chosen not to wear the suit jacket and necktie. Instead he wore a soft white dress shirt with the collar unbuttoned and red suspenders.
It was everything she had dreamed and more. A simple wedding for the simple life they wished to lead.
They said almost nothing, just basked in the orange and purples of the dimming sunlight until they reached the car which was parked nearby.
Ed's soft blue eyes looked even more handsome in the last light of the lowering sun. Golden specks freckled his face.
He stopped her before they got into what was now, their car, "Now there is a single tradition I can't ignore."
"What's that?" Belle asked, giggling a little at his big smile.
He reached into his car and turned it on. He then put a cassette tape in and turned the radio up loudly. "Our first dance of course."
He took Belle into his arms and began swaying to the music.
"Unchained Melodies?" Belle asked, recognizing the tune. He'd played it for her before.
"I hope you don't mind." He kissed her forehead.
She admired his sweet gesture as they continued to sway, "I love it."
"To the sea, to the sea." Ed quietly sang along, his eyes welling with tears. He spun her around, "See! We're at the sea."
"Why are you crying?" Belle asked before softly kissing below his eyes. The tears tasted as salty as the sea air around them.
"I've never been happier in my entire life." He kissed her again.
Even after the song ended, the two continued swaying in the setting sunlight.
After a week long honeymoon spent on the Florida shores, the two returned to Wisconsin and to their home together. The house was in a muggle area with muggle amenities, but it wasn't completely devoid of magic. She'd transfigured her new aviary to look like nothing more than a toolshed and there was a well hidden Portkey to take her to Moda whenever she pleased.
They lived in a state of joyful togetherness for a few years. Just enjoying a simple married life together.
She knew about the state of the world back home, but she took Gideon's advice and focused on the life she was leading. She decided to appreciate the sacrifices and live exactly as she had dreamed. Even in her letters to Alice their correspondence barely discussed the war. Instead they discussed the challenges and triumphs of newly married life.
One night Belle dreamed of a little boy.
He looked very much like her, with freckled skin and dark brown eyes. In her dream he shifted between that of a small round-faced child and a tall long haired man. He had held out a hand to her.
"Mummy." He called to her sounding like he was beneath a wave of water, "I'm here mummy!"
Belle reached out to him, but found she could not touch him. He kept fading away from her.
"I'm here mummy." He continued to call.
Belle didn't know the boy's name or she would have called back to him.
"Be wary mummy!" He called after a few moments, "Don't let me go mummy!"
She awoke the next day, still hearing the boy's calls and Belle wondered if maybe something beyond magic had happened. Something she had dreaded many years ago was now an amazing and ultimate blessing. In her old life it would have been a perpetual death sentence.
She and her husband's creation would be nothing more than an abomination. As she grew larger and felt the first tiny kicks of her baby, she wondered how anyone could see her child as an abomination.
She would do anything to protect her son and give him every advantage she never did.
September 4th, 2001
It was like a wedding dress bomb exploded in her store. Wedding after wedding kept Belle's mind steady.
"Don't tell Ginny." Samantha begged as Belle fixed the straps on her daughter's bridesmaid dress. "I feel absolutely ridiculous about being a bridesmaid."
"She's your best friend." Belle laughed, honestly enjoying seeing her daughter outside of professional attire.
"I know, but I'm a rotten best friend." Samantha said looking down. "I'm leaving her wedding early and I've barely been helpful at all."
"She understands, she said so." Belle said referencing a conversation she'd had with Ginny during her last dress fitting, "She mostly just talks like you are incredible for doing what you do. She's busy with her career too."
"She's pretty amazing. Best Quidditch player on the Holyhead Harpies." Samantha admitted turning around and staring at the back of the dress. Her hands began to shake as she stared. "She and Harry deserve a wonderful day and I feel like I'm not doing enough."
"You seem to be doing plenty." Belle insisted, "Considering I don't remember charging Ginny for her gown and yet I found a bag of Galleons on my desk."
Samantha pinched her nose, "Fabric is expensive, especially that gold piping mum."
"And that's mine to worry about, you should just be worrying about your job baby." Belle insisted.
"That's all I worry about."
"How's it going, the job?" Belle asked and judging by her daughter's flinching face, she assumed the answer would be a lie. It was just last week that her daughter had ascended to the position of Editor-in-Chief of the Daily Prophet.
It was a big job for such a young woman. Immediately after receiving the offer to take the job from Kingsley, Samantha dove right into the job. Within a month she had her own apartment in Diagon Alley. They only heard from her a few nights a week and occasionally she would visit the shop. It was the exact opposite of how her daughter had described her future. Belle assumed working through grief was something Samantha inherited from her, but no one could have imagined she'd be as dedicated as she was.
She didn't see her friends often, maybe once or twice a year from what Belle could tell. She didn't date, well if you believed Rita Skeeter, Samantha had a trail of lovers, but Belle believed her daughter.
"Good." Samantha answered quickly.
Belle stepped back away from her daughter and looked her over. "And with that Ginny and Harry's wedding is finally finished."
Samantha raised her eyes briefly to look at herself, "I'm sure everyone will look very nice."
"I would say so. It's certainly not the largest wedding parties I've ever done, but it'll be the most seen." Belle remarked.
She said very little at all after that, which had unfortunately become the new normal for her. She'd been keeping a lot close to her chest the last three years. As her daughter changed back into the dark and overtly mature attire she had been sporting the last few years, the bell to the shop rang.
Narcissa Malfoy stepped into the shop, her heels clicking the floor as she stepped.
"Afternoon." Belle greeted, she knew the Malfoy family had been pardoned after the war. This didn't mean that the sight of Narcissa didn't cause her worry. "Unfortunately Mrs. Malfoly, I'm not taking orders right now because of the Potter wedding."
"I'm not here to place an order." Narcissa revealed making Belle's mind stir, "I'm here to see y-"
"Mum, I'm going to leave the bridesmaid dress but do you mind if I go ahead and take the rehearsal one?" Samantha asked, coming out from the back and straightening her hat. She turned and noticed Narcissa. She stood straighter and tipped her hat to her, "I apologize mum, I didn't realize you had a customer. Always a pleasure to see you Mrs. Malfoy."
"The pleasure is mine Miss Fyre." Narcissa answered with a nod of her head.
Belle remembered Samantha had been the main reporter covering their trial before the Wizanagamot. She'd won an award for her coverage of the trial. Samantha had expressed in confidence to her mother that she hated the whole experience.
"Congratulations on your recent achievement." Narcissa clasped her hands together before smirking, "Youngest Editor-In-Chief of the Daily Prophet, a very high honor for a deserving young lady."
"Thank you, I appreciate your congratulations." Samantha smiled, shoving her hand behind her back. It was shaking violently.
"I assume you are here to have your mother make one of her glorious creations for Miss Weasley's wedding. I can only imagine that you must be a bridesmaid." Narcissa said with a tilt of her head, "Draco mentioned that you two always seemed impossibly close. Thicker than thieves is how he described it."
Samantha smiled a pinch before answering, "She's more like a sister to me really."
"You must be excited for her big day?" Narcissa's smile grew very wide.
"Of course, not that I really think anyone is good enough for her, but if I were to part with her for anyone, I can't think of anyone more deserving than Harry after all."
"Possibly. How lovely you two have remained friends." Narcissa turned her eyes to Belle, "I had a friend much like that myself back in the day. We were impossibly close."
"How lovely, if you don't mind Mrs. Malfoy I must ask my mother a brief question then be back to the Prophet." Samantha's eyes darted to her mother.
"Of course, please do."
Samantha nodded her head to her before stepping behind the counter beside Belle. She squeezed her mother's hand, as if to ask if she needed her to stay.
"Yes darling, please take the rehearsal dress and I will see you before the wedding on Saturday with all of the gowns." Belle said before kissing her daughter's cheek.
"Mrs. Malfoy," Samantha tipped her hat again with a smirk, "Give Draco my very best regards will you?"
Samantha's emphasis on very, reminded Belle just how much Samantha had despised Draco in school.
Narcissa nodded to Samantha as she left, "Of course, Miss Fyre."
"She's done very well for herself." Narcissa commented sharply as Samantha walked out of sight, "You must be very proud."
"I'm very proud of Samantha." Belle answered, dragging her eyes from her daughter.
"Your tone sounds sharply of regret." Narcissa observed as quickly as one might flash a whip.
"How would you know if my voice has regret?" Belle snapped, she'd become bitter and more calloused than the last time Narcissa was in her shop.
"Belle." Narcissa pleaded, "I used to know you, at least I hope I did."
"Three decades ago maybe." Belle shook her head. "Why are you here? I'm a bit busy if you haven't noticed."
"I wanted to check on you Belle." Narcissa revealed with a small step forward.
Belle stepped out from behind her counter as her confusion swept through her, "Check on me?"
"I would have sooner, but I had not the time or honestly the constitution." Narcissa revealed crossing her arms again. "Four years ago, when I saw your son amongst, well, amongst the Dark Lord's followers, I worried for you."
"You saw my son?" Belle asked as her heart stopped beating, "My Jack?"
"When he was still under the tutelage of Miss Burke, yes."
Belle wanted to beg for more information, she'd uncomfortably wondered about her son's year as a Death Eater.
"I wanted to offer comfort, I believe in some ways we can relate to each other." Narcissa breathed slowly before she continued, "Our sons were both manipulated into becoming something that I don't believe either of us ever intended."
"It will be four years come December, since I've seen my son. I haven't held my only son in my arms in four damn years." Belle shook her head and felt a fire come from her stomach, "You've seen my son, my own child since I have!"
"I'm sorry."
Belle grimaced, "You have your son, don't you dare try to say we can relate."
Narcissa strongly responded, "It is one of my many mistakes"
"Mistakes that you bloody made well on your very own!" Belle answered in a stronger tone.
Narcissa shook her head before her voice rose a bit, "Not everyone was afforded the choices that you had Belle."
Belle felt her heart stop briefly. She had never considered Narcissa simply could have been very convincing as she played her role in the war.
"Not everyone could just leave their status and fly away to another country. Not everyone had that option." Narcissa shook her head, making her hair fly around. "I had an option for security. I did what I could to survive."
Belle wondered what she would have done if the option to leave had never presented itself.
Narcissa said stepping closer to Belle, "And that's all I've ever done. I've survived. Much like yourself."
"I'm nothing like you."
"Don't you play all high and mighty with me Belle." Narcissa shook her head she was holding herself like a child, "You left and never sent anyone a scrap of bloody news!"
"That's not true." Belle shook her head, her eyes were hot and stinging as she cried, "That's damn well not true!"
"You never wrote to me! I didn't even know if you were alive." Narcissa had tears in her eyes, "I was left alone. I was like a scrap you could simply toss aside."
Belle looked away from Narcissa's display of weakness, "If I'd have told you where I was, it would have put others in danger, others who were risking their lives for me!"
"Most of them ended up dead anyway! So see how far that got you!" Narcissa snippily yelled now, she was sounding like the old Cissy. The one who had stood up for her at Gladrags, except now Belle was on the receiving end.
"Don't you dare put your damn guilt onto me. I was instructed to stay as far away from the war as I could." Belle felt the words escape her mouth in a hot tone like a steam escaping a hot poker, "But you, you knew everything."
"Know what?"
"What they were going to do, what your own sister, what my own brothers were going to do to people we grew up with, to people we cared about! Did you know what that horrible man who you followed and obeyed for years was going to do?" Belle put her hand over her mouth after she asked the question, it had plagued her mind for many years.
Narcissa looked down sheepishly.
Belle removed her hand before pressing Narcissa more, "And don't give me that Imperious Curse bullshit you gave everyone after the first war! Did you know?"
"I knew." Narcissa answered, in a voice barely above a whisper, "Of course I knew that the Potters were marked for death, I knew he wanted them dead."
Belle's thoughts trailed to seeing the little red haired girl lament with James Potter who she'd be fated to marry someday. She'd never seen Lily as an adult, simply as a child. Even when she'd exchanged letters Lily during their pregnancies. Lily was barely twenty when she had Harry, she was still very much a child in Belle's eyes.
"I knew that Gideon was on Kyle's personal hit list because of you! So I wasn't surprised when he was the first to volunteer to kill him when The Dark Lord asked for him and his brother to be taken down!"
Belle felt her heart jolt with pain. Her final exchange with Gideon had been such a harsh one upon her memory. The heartache in his words and release of her had been enough.
Narcissa stopped and took a deep breathe, "And I knew what Bella planned to do to Alice and Frank. I knew."
Belle felt the tears roll from her eyes and she turned away from Narcissa, "You did nothing to help them. Or warn them."
"I couldn't." Narcissa's words were sharp. "I'm so sorry, I couldn't."
"No, you couldn't, you were too busy protecting yourself." Belle wiped her tears quickly before looking back to Narcissa.
"No, I was protecting my son!" Narcissa insisted and Belle's throat closed, "Something I thought you would understand."
Belle realized her mistake. She'd been misjudging Narcissa for years. Narcissa was just another girl in a situation, much like her own, but under much different circumstances. If Belle hadn't been afforded her escape, would she have fallen into the same or similar trap?
Belle spoke no more, just wrapped her old friend in her arms. She understood greatly what she had been through.
The two never spoke of that day again, but continued from that day on with respect. They couldn't continue as they had as children. They could no longer be the little school girls gossiping about boys, but they could be women who at least to some level, shared a deeper understanding.
After Ginny and Harry's wedding, Belle was asked to do Hermione Granger's dress for her wedding to Ron. It was an elegant dress with sleeves that fell just off of her shoulders and a floaty skirt that looked like a waterfall.
Samantha had admitted she was grateful not to be in the wedding, but she did attend as the only real member of the press invited.
After the Granger-Weasley wedding the steady influx of weddings and events continued.
The next years passed in a somewhat lonely state for Belle. The home that had stood for laughter and joy was silent each night as she returned to her husband.
She and Ed had each other at the very least, but Belle's grief overwhelmed her every night as she lay awake. It had always been so joyful to have their home filled with laughter, music and hopeful dreams.
Instead, it just became where they slept every night when they weren't at work.
She tried to stay occupied with her designs as the wedding dress market began shifting into smaller territory. Along with the wedding explosion came the baby boom, which meant blankets and christening gowns. Belle had a much harder time dealing with this particular phase in society.
Every blanket she sewed reminded her of her children. Reminded her of her son with the chubby cheeks and big dark brown eyes, and of her daughter, the delicate baby with the crystal blue eyes like her father.