Our Universe

Juniper smoothed the fabric of her skirt down on her thighs, pulling her sheer stockings over her feet. She stepped in front of the mirror, taking a quick glance at the time on the clock. She still had a few minutes before she should begin heading out. Her black boots lay waiting beside her leather jacket on the dresser, although she was wearing a tight cream colored sweater, the clouds blocking the starry sky outside were steadily gathering, and Juniper wanted to be prepared in case it rained.

She twisted her hair into a low bun, resting on the nape of her neck, wild bits of her hair refusing to be contained, and zipped up her boots. Satisfied, Juniper began to get her things together, putting her wand and Muggle cell phone into a small purse of Rory's. She hadn't told anyone she was going to see Alex. James would want to come, Charlie, Leo, and Rory would ask a billion questions, and Teddy...well, she didn't know how he'd react. Not like she knew where he was.

In a spur of the moment decision, Juniper put on a bit of lip gloss and mascara, surprised when she didn't smudge her eyes like she usually did. Vanessa would be proud. The girl swiveled in front of the mirror again, sighing as she looked at her reflection. Memories of her very first date with Alex flashed through her mind. Not just her first date with Alex, her first date...ever. The white dress Nessa had picked and the converse Juniper had insisted on wearing. The drive in movie and the beachy smell of Alex's truckbed, sand beneath the blankets and surfboards overhead.

It was the perfect first kiss, the perfect first date. He was just such a good guy. The best person she knew. Teddy had never even taken her on a real date because Teddy Lupin didn't do dates. And there she went again, thinking about Teddy. She had to stop that. Why couldn't she stop?

Juniper took a deep breath, determined to go into this date- not date- whatever with a clear head. Free of any lingering Teddy Lupin thoughts. She could do this. She could. Juniper slung the purse over her shoulder, looking one last time in the mirror before turning to go. Just as she reached for the doorknob, it swung open, someone waiting on the other side.

"Junie." No question, no command, just her name. How could one little word hold so much meaning? So much emotion. So much power.

Juniper inhaled slowly, keeping her voice calm, "Teddy."

As soon as his name left her lips she was crushed into a soft embrace, the warmth of Teddy's body enveloping her own. His head was buried in her shoulder, he whispered, "You're okay."

Juniper couldn't allow herself to sink into the comfort of Teddy, she had somewhere she had to be, She couldn't get caught up in whatever this was. Why was he so worried? She didn't understand him. She never understood him. "Yeah."

"We're not supposed to pull that shit on each other anymore." Teddy murmured into her neck, "Remember?"

Juniper did remember. She remembered crawling into Teddy's bed after he'd been missing. She remembered him holding her. She remembered telling him not to do that to her ever again. She remembered kissing him. And most of all, she remembered him pulling away. "I know," she murmured back, biting her lower lip.

"I'm sorry," Teddy said, his breath hot on her cheek. His eyes looked wet, but Juniper knew it had to be just a trick of the light. "I'm so sorry, Juniper. It's all my fault. If I'd never-" He pulled away from her, clutching his head in his hands, "It's all my fault. You could have- and-"

"What are you talking about?" Juniper asked. "It's not your fault, it's hers. You didn't do anything."

"Exactly." Teddy clenched his fists, repeating, "I didn't do anything. I'm so sorry."

"I know," Juniper replied for the second time, staring at the floor. Teddy finally noticed what she was wearing, the purse over her shoulder, her makeup and boots.

He frowned, "Are you going somewhere?" Juniper felt his eyes pass over her skirt, shorter than the ones they wore for their uniforms. Damn it. He was going to figure to out. "Is that a good idea? Don't you think you should rest, Junie? You just-"

"No, Lupin," Juniper sighed, irritated. "I'm so sick of people telling me to rest! I've been trapped in a bed for days, and everyone treats me like I'm going to break if I move! I'm fucking fine!"

"And you hate letting people take care of you," Teddy added with a small smile.

"Oh, is that your excuse for ghosting me for four days?" Juniper snapped back, temper rising. Now he was getting her all agitated. Stupid Teddy, always mucking things up with Juniper's emotions.

Teddy shut up instantly, eyes dimming. "I- I- Junie I wanted to come. I did. I swear. I was just so worried- I mean seeing you like that- I couldn't-." Teddy's voice shook, "I needed some time to sort things out. You have no idea- I was a mess, Juniper. I was trying to protect you."

"Hey, I get it, " Juniper scoffed, expression hard and cold. Her words were like ice, steely and sharp. "You don't have to explain anything to me, Teddy. You don't have to bullshit me. I know who you were with. It was obviously more important than my whole not being dead thing."

Now Teddy's anger was growing, "You can't say anything about that, Junie. Don't act like you're so innocent. You're going on a date right now, against medical advice. You think I couldn't tell? I guess a stupid date with a crap guy is more important than your health too."

"Why do you even care?!" Juniper shot back, retreating into defense mode. Now she was upset and she was going to be late to meet Alex. "And it's not even Xavier so I don't understand your fucking problem. Even if I was dating Xavier again I don't know why you-"

"Jesus Christ Juniper!" Teddy exclaimed suddenly, locking eyes with her. "I don't care who it is. I don't want you going out because I don't want you dating anyone!"

There was a beat of silence, Teddy's face softening at his admission.

Juniper didn't know what to make of it. What did he mean? Why didn't he want her dating anyone? She was so confused. She was supposed to be in Hogsmeade right now. Why was this happening? "What?" she asked, waiting for his response.

"I-"

"Forget it, Teddy. I have somewhere to be." Juniper shook her head, "Just go find Selene or something."How is she, by the way? Your girlfriend," Juniper raised her eyebrows, tone containing a note of bitterness. The murderer, Juniper added silently. Wondering if Teddy knew what Selene had tried to do.

"Selene?" Teddy was caught off guard by the question. He flinched, "She- er- she's leaving Hogwarts. And the country. She's going into hiding with...her friends. She actually- she asked me to run away with her tonight. I'd have to cut off all contact with you..."

Oh. Now Juniper understood, Now it all made sense. The hug, the apology, the teary eyes. He was leaving. With Selene. Leaving her. For Selene. Teddy was saying goodbye. That's why he hadn't visited her. He was leaving. Teddy was gone. Forever.

Juniper closed her eyes with resignation, she didn't want the last she saw of Teddy to be in anger. She put a hand over his, "So this is goodbye then? I'll- erm- make sure Selene doesn't find out you talked to me, don't worry. I'm gonna miss you, Lupin. I hope you're happy with-"

"I chose you, Juniper."

Juniper almost stopped breathing, "What?"

Teddy took her other hand in his, eyes boring deep into her soul, "I chose you. You chose me, with Xavier. You really thought I wouldn't do the same for you?" He looked almost saddened by that thought.

"But Selene-" Juniper stuttered, in a state of disbelief. He chose her? He chose her. Why?

Teddy's jaw clenched at her name, "Fuck Selene." Teddy laced their finger together, and Juniper could hear her heart thumping in her chest like a drum. "It's over. It was over the minute she hurt you, Juniper. I would never choose her over- how could you ever- it's me, Junie. You're my Juniper, my always, I- I'll choose you every time, Every single time. You know that. I need you to know that." Teddy took a deep breath, "Juniper, I l-"

"I can't deal with this right now, Teddy," Juniper pushed him away hurriedly, backing away as fast as she could. She walked, heart beating faster and faster, to the door, "I- I have to go."

"Juniper, wait-" Teddy reached out for her, desperate.

But he was too late. Juniper had already disappeared out the door.

Juniper closed her eyes, brain a jumble of emotions and confusion. She was late. So so late. Her breath came in short, fast bursts as she raced to Hogsmeade. Why? Why now? Right before she was- how dare he?! How dare he?! This was important to her and Teddy had gone and messed it all up, and Juniper had fallen for it again! What was he playing at?

She let out a long exhale, cool night air hitting her face. It was okay. She was okay. Everything was fine. She was fine.

Teddy had chosen her.

But Juniper wasn't thinking about that. Juniper was going on date and everything was going to be fine and she wasn't going to think about Teddy. The only person her attention would be focused on would be-

"Alex!" Juniper flung herself into his arms, sending the poor boy stumbling backwards a bit.

"Missed me?" Alex teased, tweaking her nose.

Juniper groaned, releasing him, "You have no idea."

They stopped back from each other, both taking the other in. They hadn't seen each other in nearly a year. Alex was the same though, familiar and consistent. Juniper liked that about him. Alex grinned his familiar easy smile, one Juniper hadn't seen in so long, "Wow."

Juniper laughed aloud, hugging him again.

"You get it, right?" Alex asked, chuckling. "It was what I said when- no, you get it. Right? You did."

"I got it, Alex," Juniper said, smiling wide. He always knew how to make her laugh. She was already relaxed. Alex just had that way about him, with his goodnatured attitude and determination to always look on the bright side.

He slung a friendly arm around her shoulders, "So, lead the way. And preferably to somewhere with a roof. I don't like the look of those clouds."

"You Californians," Juniper feigned disappointment. "Hate to break it you brah, but the sun is not a friend we see often over here." She giggled, "Oh and just so you know,  if you feel something wet on your face, I promise no one's spitting on you. It's just this thing called rain."

Alex shoved her lightly, "I know what rain is!"

"Just checking," Juniper snickered, taking him into the Three Broomsticks. She'd forgotten how easy it was to talk to Alex. How smoothly conversation flowed. Juniper had really missed him. And she was having a great time with him. Showing him around Hogsmeade, Honeydukes, Zonkos, everything. She was having a great time.

But-

It was just-

Teddy.

Stupid, impossible to get off her mind, Teddy.

Their conversation echoed in her mind on a loop, unable to stay present with Alex. She kept drifting back to Teddy. Why? Why?! She tried to shove the thoughts down as Alex clasped her hand, pulling her into an alleyway.

"Hi," Alex murmured, his face inches from hers. Juniper was reminded of that time on the beach, when she'd been lying on the sand. She'd stopped him them, because of guilt. Because of Teddy. She'd said she wouldn't do that again. That wasn't going to happen again. This was her fresh start. Juniper looked into Alex's eyes, wanting to want to kiss him so bad, but all she saw was Teddy. All she heard was Teddy.

I chose you

You're my always.

Every time.

Juniper drew back, "Alex-"

Alex smiled, nodding, "I know, Juniper."

"I just-" Juniper was at a loss. She didn't know what to say. She didn't know what to think.

"I know," Alex repeated, shrugging, "It was him back then, and it's him now. It's always been Teddy. We both know that."

And Juniper did know. She just didn't want it to be true. Her heart was an idiot, that was for sure. "I'm supposed to love you, Alex." She sank to the cobblestoned floor, hugging her knees to her chest, "You're kind and sweet and smart and you care about me. And I do, I do love you." And Juniper found she did. She'd always loved Alex, but not like- it was different.

Alex squeezed her shoulder, "And I love you."

If only it was that easy. Why couldn't it be that simple?

"But-"

"But I'm not him." Those four words almost broke Juniper's heart. She knew Alex was fine, but she wasn't sure she was. He wasn't Teddy. No one could ever be Teddy.

Her eyes filled with tears, "No. I hate it. I hate it Alex. I'm so sorry, I'm sitting here crying about Teddy."

"It's okay," Alex told her kindly, patting her on the back. Which only proceeded to make Juniper feel worse.

"No, it's not!" Juniper cried in anguish, throwing her hands up.  "It's not okay. Look at you!" She gestured at Alex frantically, "You're perfect. You're a good guy. The best guy. You're the one i'm supposed to love. I'm supposed to love you."

Alex flashed a wry smile, "Love never works the way it's supposed to."

"Well, it should!" Juniper protested, crossing her arms. Another tear slid down her cheek, "It's not fair...it's not fair."

"Love never is."

Juniper growled in frustration, wiping the tears angrily off her face, "I hate Teddy. I hate him so much."

"No, you don't," Alex's mouth quirked up as he shook his head.

"No, I don't." Juniper muttered sullenly. That was precisely the problem. She could never hate Teddy.

"The best love always hurts a little," he remarked after a moment or two of silence, placing a comforting hand on her knee.

Juniper pursed her lips, "I definitely want to hurt him."

Alex laughed. "You need to talk to him," he advised her, giving her a knowing look.

"I'd rather punch him," She scowled darkly, while Alex continued to smile.

"I know, Juniper." Alex reached out a hand to help her off the ground, which she took gratefully. The castle loomed in front of her, shrouded in clouds

"Alex-" She started, dusting herself off.

"Go." He steered her gently in the direction of Hogwarts.

Juniper almost cried again. He was just so so sweet. So understanding. Stupid love. "I'm sorry," she apologized, knowing there was no right thing to say here.

"Don't be," Alex brushed her off, rolling his eyes. "Go on, get outta here. Go punch Teddy." He chuckled.

"Thank you," she said, giving him one final hug.

Alex hugged her right back, "You're welcome." Juniper still hadn't let him go, unmoving. She didn't want to go back yet. To face him. She didn't think she could do it.  "Juniper!" Alex chided, shooing her towards the castle

"I'm going!" Juniper called out, looking back one last time at Alex. He waved to her, before turning around and shoving his hands in his pockets. Juniper turned around too, gulping as she neared the castle gates. She couldn't believe Teddy had gotten in the way of her and Alex. Again. God she wa so mad at him, mad at him for making her love him. Mad at him because she couldn't be mad at him because she was mad for him. And he'd never felt the same. Never could be what she wanted. And yet she couldn't let herself be happy with anyone else. Because of him.

It always came back to Teddy.

"Junie!" Speak of that damned devil. Teddy appeared in the dark courtyard, out of breath like he'd been running. "Is that you? Junie, thank god I've been looking for you- I couldn't let you leave without. It can't be too late. I have to tell you I-"

"No!" Juniper yelled back, storming towards him. "You don't get to talk anymore! You don't get to confuse me anymore, Teddy! I don't want to think about you anymore? Do you understand that?! Do you have any idea how hard it is to- you ruined tonight! I left him because-"

"You left him?" Teddy's ears perked up.

"I said stop talking!" Juniper shouted. "God- Teddy yes I fucking left the date because you're a jerk! Because you don't want me but no one else can have me either, right? And you got exactly what you wanted. Are you happy now? Are you-"

"Juniper if you would stop being such girl for a second and let me-"

"NO!" Juniper thundered, she was so sick and tired of hearing that phrase. And she was so done with Teddy. "Because guess what? I am a girl. I am a motherfucking female who likes to feel pretty, who likes to put a dress on because she looks good in it. Who also likes to wear her brother's clothes and play Quidditch in the mud and doesn't care if she gets her hair wet. But even after all this time you never thought of me as anything other than- after all this time- you still don't see me!"

Teddy shook his head vehemently, "I see you Juniper. I see you. I see you because I have no other choice. I've always seen you..." The blond boy's hair turned blue as he uttered with firm intensity, "I'm in love with you."

Thunder rumbled through the sky, followed by a brilliant flash of lightning.

Juniper stood stock still, unmoving. Her mouth pressed into a thin line, "Are you fucking kidding me? No, you aren't!"

"Yes I-" Teddy opened his mouth to argue.

"Take it back." Juniper commanded, another clap of thunder overhead.

"What?"

"I said take it back, Teddy!" Juniper stomped her foot, "Take it back right now!"

Teddy shook his head, gazing at her, "I love you."

Juniper's heart fought against her ribcage, dizziness consuming her. He had to stop saying that. She couldn't- he had to stop. Did he know what he was doing to her? "No, you don't!"

"Yes, I do," he insisted, moving closer to her. She couldn't do this. He couldn't do this.

Juniper staunchly refused to accept this, stubbornly yelling, "No, you don't! Take it ba-"

"You know most girls-"

"I am not most girls-" Juniper snapped, eyes flashing.

"WHY DO YOU THINK I COULD NEVER GET YOU OUT OF MY FUCKING HEAD?!" Teddy roared, a blinding white crack of light in the sky like a beacon, casting a momentary glow on their flushed faces. He gazed at her in such an open unabashed way it made Juniper want to shy away.

"Don't." Juniper said, feeling tears clog the back of her throat

"What?" Teddy asked quietly, nearing even closet to her.

"Stop looking at me like that," Juniper backed away, casting her eye downward.

"Like what?" Teddy raised his eyebrows, expression  thick with emotion, "Like I love you?"

"Stop that." Her voice trembled, tears threatening to spill over.

"I love you," Teddy's eyes pierced her heart. He lifted his hand to her face, tucking a stubborn curl behind her ear.

"STOP IT!" Juniper wrenched away from him, tears falling freely. Her hair was beginning to come undone, just as she was, wild in the electricity of the air. "This is why I can't do this, Teddy. I can't do this anymore." She cried, gripping her head.

"You can't do what anymore?"

"THIS!" She shouted, flinging her arms wide. "All of it. Us. You and the kissing and the proclamations of love. You and your smirk when you try to make me laugh. You and the hugs that go on for too long. You and the late night talks and the long looks and the secret smiles. You. I can't do it anymore. You know where I'm supposed to be right now? On a date. On a date with a guy who is not you. A guy who makes me happy, a guy who's sweet and kind. A guy who I could start over with. A guy that is everything you are not."

Teddy tensed, jealousy sparking. "Why aren't you there then?" He sniped with venom, "Just go, that's obviously where you want to be."

"I CAN'T!" Juniper screamed over the thunderclaps, wind whipping her raven black mane back and forth.

"Why not?"

"BECAUSE I LOVE YOU TOO, YOU ARSEHOLE!" Juniper cried in anguish, a single tear rolling down her face. Rain began to fall from the sky, dotting her clothing with wet spots. There was a beat of quiet as she wiped the wetness from her cheek, "But you never loved me the way I loved you."

Teddy paced back and forth, exasperated and saddened, "How can you say that? How can you say that when I just told you I Ioved you?"

"No, you don't." Juniper sighed, closing her eyes. It hurt so much. He couldn't just say things like that.

The best love always hurts.

This much Alex? Was it supposed to hurt this much?

"YES. I. DO." The rain beat down from from the clouds with increased fervor, heavy and unrelenting. "Do you want to hear how much I love you Juniper? I know I'm in love with you Juniper. I know with every fiber of my being. I know from the way I'm inexplicably drawn to you wherever you appear. I know from the way your hand feels in mine. I know from the way I want to run my fingers through your hair. I know from the way that all I want to do is make you smile. I know from the way my heart pounds when I even think about you being in danger. I know Juniper. I know I'm unconditionally and irreparably in love with you. Every second of every day I fall in love with you little bit more, and each day I think I can't possibly love you anymore than I already do, but I keep falling. So don't tell me not to love you. I've been in love with you my whole life."

Droplets of rain shone like stars amid Juniper's midnight tangles, both of them soaked through to the bone. A puddle was beginning to form by her feet, water sliding down the slick stone courtyard. Rain spilled from the sky like those beautiful things spilled from Teddy's lips. Did he mean it? And if he did, what did that mean?

"Then why didn't you tell me?!"

"BECAUSE I WAS SCARED!" Teddy kicked the ground angrily, sending water flying everywhere.  "I've never- you- you scare me Junie. I love you so much it scared me. I didn't- I didn't know how to tell you. I didn't know how to say it. I couldn't even say it to myself. How could I say it to you?"

"So you decided the best way to handle the situation was to let me know when I was arguing with you?" Juniper queried in aggravation, groaning.   "Jesus, Teddy, you-"

"You told me you loved me and called me an arsehole in the same sentence!" Teddy challenged pointedly.

"I was upset with you!" Juniper shrieked.

"I kind of figured from all the screaming!" Teddy fired back, voice rising in volume.

Juniper's temper flared, as she cried out, "My screaming was completely justified you-"

"God Juniper you make me so- mad!" Teddy interrupted hotly, clenching his fists.

Juniper's eyes widened, gasping in infuriated disbelief, "I make you mad?! I make you-"

Teddy didn't let her finish, striding forward and grabbing her face in his hands, "Yes, you make me mad"

"Well, you make me mad too." Juniper whispered, hands on his chest.

How could they do this to each other? Fight for the hell of it. Scream until their throats were raw because of what? Because they loved each other. They loved each other more than anything in the world. The rain continued to drench them in a fierce downpour, fresh raindrops intermingling with salty tears.

"Good." Teddy rubbed his thumb along the edge of her cheekbone, and Juniper closed her eyes in contentment.

"I can't stop loving you, Teddy."

Teddy kissed her then, damp curls plastered to his forehead. "Don't you ever stop loving me," Teddy said firmly.  "I will never stop loving you."

Juniper bit her lip, torn. HIs touch was magnetic, but she couldn't do the casual thing again. She couldn't. It nearly destroyed her before. She didn't think she'd survive it again. "I can't be your friend either," she told him.  "I can't love you like I do and be your friend. But I can't stop loving you and I don't want to stop being your friend. I'm stuck."

And she was stuck. She'd been stuck for so long. Too long.

Juniper didn't want to be stuck anymore.

"No you're not." Teddy traced a path down her neck and held her by the waist, pressing his head to hers.

"Yes I am Teddy." Juniper slid her hands up around his neck, longing to kiss him and stop this conversation before she was left with nothing. But she knew she couldn't. He had to know.  "I can't be your friend without well- without doing what we're doing. I can't sit in a room with you and not want to touch you and kiss you and hold your hand. But I want more of you, I want all of you. I want a relationship and-"

"Okay."

"What?" Juniper's jaw fell open.

A slow smile spread across Teddy's face. He held her tighter. "I said okay. We've established rather loudly that we love each other, let's do it."

Juniper didn't dare breathe. Was this happening? Was she dreaming? She'd imagined him saying those words a thousand times but she never thought- "But Teddy, you can't-"

"Who says I can't?" Teddy lifted his chin up resolutely, offended.

"You!" Juniper reminded him emphatically.

He was Theodore Lupin. Untouchable. Undateable. No relationships. No commitment.

"Well, now I'm saying I can."

Juniper wasn't ready to give in just yet. She breathed in and out, pulse racing, "Don't say this unless you mean it, Teddy." Anticipation thrummed in her veins, followed closely by trepidation. "Don't say this just to make me shut up and kiss you."

He smirked, "You and I both know I have other methods of doing that." Juniper's stomach dipped, warmth blossoming in her abdomen. One by one the butterflies were being set free. Her chest tugged with desire

"I hate you." A smile curved on her lips.

"I hate you more." Teddy cupped her cheek with his palm, hazel eyes meeting her green ones. For a moment, all they could hear was the soft pattering of the rain around them.

"No more girls?" Juniper breathed in question, waiting for his answer.

"No more girls."

A weight lifted from Juniper, the butterflies that had refused to stop flapping their tiny wings for so long exploded with joy. Love surge though her like a tidal wave. He was in love with her, and she was in love with him. She didn't know how to say how much that mean to her. What he just did. Juniper had no idea how to express how she felt in that moment with words. "Teddy..."

"I know." Teddy grinned broadly, smug. He knew exactly how much she loved him, and damn was he proud of it.

"Shut up." Juniper blushed a vibrant shade of crimson, self conscious. "Shut up!" She swatted him across the chest when he kept giving her that unrelenting stare of pure adoration.

"I'm not the one talking." Teddy teased cheekily, cocking an eyebrow.

Juniper scrunched her nose, glaring at him, "I hate you. Kiss me."

Teddy pulled her tighter to him, dragging his tongue along his lower lip mischievously, "As you wish."

Their lips met, kissing as the rain poured down.

A promise of a new beginning.

Of love.