Sinners Play as Saints
You promised you’d be Tesla but you’re just another Edison
Because Tesla broke a pattern, all you ever broke were hearts
I can’t believe you tore humanity apart
With the very same machines that could’ve been our brand-new start
And the worst part is I loved you,
I loved you,
I loved you, it's true.
“One can never be overdressed or overeducated.” Sirius winks. “Oscar Wilde?” Remus glanced up, as if surprised.
“Of course. You’re a fan?”
“Mm, not really. I prefer gothic poetry over gothic novels.”
“So, let me guess… Edgar Allan Poe and Emily Bronte are your top favourite writers?”
“Correct.” Remus flicked the pen tip toward Sirius. “Believe nothing you hear, and one half of what you see.” Remus quotes.
“Explains your pessimistic outlook on life.” Sirius snorts.
“Explains why you look like Dorian Grey.” Remus nodded at him. Sirius pressed a hand to his chest with a sharp gasp. “Was that a compliment?”
“I tell you you look like a guy who sold his soul to be immortal and had all his sins reflected on a portrait of his face and your takeaway is that I think you’re hot?” Remus asks, exasperated. “Hey, you said it, not me.” Sirius winks again, and Remus’ face turns red as he realises what just came out of his mouth. “Wait, that’s not what I–” He cuts himself off, scowling.
It’s been a few weeks of this, Sirius showing up to the shop every morning for a coffee and a few minutes of conversation with Remus. He hasn’t gotten him anything else, simply because nothing else screamed Remus at him the way the chocolate mug had. Sirius has also invited Remus out with his friends (or just with himself) a few times, but Remus always declines. Sirius doesn’t give up easily (he doesn’t know how to give up), and he’s sure he can wrangle Remus eventually. Everyone falls for Sirius’ charm eventually. Or his looks.
“Don’t put words in my mouth.” Remus points the sharpie at Sirius again, as if it’s a formidable weapon. “You’re not denying it, though.” Sirius leans forward on his elbows, a smirk on his face.
“Well, anyone with eyes can see you…” Remus looks away. “You’re not bad to look at.” Is what he ends up saying.
“Oh, honey. Here, let me fix it for you. What you should’ve said is, ‘Sirius, your beauty is alluring as a star fallen to Earth, and your hair looks as if a god themselves styled it.” Sirius says.
Remus rolls his eyes, but doesn’t repeat the sentence.
“You need lessons.” Sirius clicks his tongue.
“Sirius! We need to go.” Comes a call from by the doors.
Sirius turns to see Lily Evans standing there, waving at him to hurry things up. “That’s my classmate I mentioned.” Sirius sighs. “We’re leaving to the college– do you need a ride?”
Remus looks thoughtful for a second, then nods. “Sure, I’d love a ride. Can you wait like ten minutes? I’ll sign out.”
From their many conversations, Sirius wheedled out that Remus takes classes from the same university as Sirius does. “I’ll ask Lily.” Sirius steps away from the counter, feeling giddy. Finally, Remus Lupin has agreed to come somewhere with Sirius! Even if it’s just to the university where they both take classes.
Lily agrees to wait, but Mary isn’t too happy about it, grumbling the entire time. They have to move the paintings in the backseat to make room for the two boys to sit in the back.
When Remus finally comes out of the building, Sirius quickly realises this is the first time he’s seeing Remus fully, not from behind a counter. The other boy is limping quite badly, and though he has a cane in his hands he doesn’t lean on it.
Sirius simply smiles at him and waves him over to where he’s standing by the car. Mary and Lily are already inside, in their respective passenger and driver seats, arguing over something again.
Sirius gets into the backseat, taking the middle seat and motioning for Remus to get into the seat next to him. The three paintings they’re supposed to be turning in today are carefully placed on the other seat next to the door. “Let’s go, baby!” Sirius says, leaning forward over Lily’s shoulder.
He’s keenly aware of how the entire length of his thigh is pressed against Remus’. The other boy rests his cane between his legs.
Lily starts the car, and some song comes on, whatever girls listen to these days.
“Can I ask why you have to use the cane?” Sirius asks quietly, sitting back as they turn out onto the main road.
“Well, my doctor said I should use it every day, but I only use it on the bad days.” Remus gestures vaguely. When Sirius doesn’t say anything, Remus continues. “I um… really injured my hip in my childhood. And now I have traumatic arthritis. So I take meds often, and I need this thing some days to walk.” He taps the head of the cane.
“That’s really interesting.” Sirius mumbles. He doesn’t know what to say. Should he make a joke, or would that be insensitive? Should he tell the story of how his mother broke the fingers in his hand when he was five, or would that just be making everything about himself? Sirius is saved from answering as the song switches and Mary groans. “No, god, Lily! Anything but Harry Styles!”
“Hey! This song is actually good!” Lily protests. There’s another round of squabbling, and then the car swerves as both girls lunge for the stereo knobs. Sirius is thrown sideways into Remus with a yelp. “Sorry! Sorry,” he apologises, trying to get back upright. Remus gives him a tight smile. “Erm, Lily, right? Can I play a song?” Remus leans forward.
Mary and Lily both pause, mid fight for control of the radio. “Um, sure.” Lily hesitantly hands her phone over to Remus. He taps the screen a few times, and then a Taylor Swift song comes on. Sirius thinks it’s cardigan, but he isn’t too sure.
“There. Problem solved.” Remus whispers, winking at Sirius as the car starts moving again and the girls are no longer arguing.
“Yeah, but now I’ve got to listen to this horrible thing you all call music.” Sirius says, affronted.
“What, not a fan?” Remus asks, amused.
“No, my best friend is obsessed, though.” Sirius huffs. Remus hums thoughtfully in response.
They’re saved from the impending awkward silence as Lily parks the car and announces that they’ve arrived. “Thank you for the ride, Lily!” Remus says, doing his best not to grimace as he clambers out of the car. “Bye Remus, it was nice meeting you!” The girls reply, almost in unison. “Bye Mary, it was nice meeting you too. Sirius, I'll see you later.” Remus looks Sirius in the eyes as he says this, a soft smile like a promise in the corner of his mouth.
Sirius only manages to nod in response as Remus turns and strides away.
“Alright, let’s get these masterpieces and my piece of garbage out to get graded.” Mary says, opening the side door to get the paintings from the backseat. Sirius is still sitting there, buckled in, and she smiles a knowing smile.
“Shut up.” Sirius mumbles.
“I didn’t even say anything!” Mary gasps, throwing her hands up in defence.
“You were thinking it.” Sirius accuses. He clambers out of the car, accepting the painting Lily shoves into his hands.
Shooting dirty looks at Mary, he continues into the building and huffs angrily all the way into the classroom, setting his painting onto an easel and shoving himself behind a desk.
~.~
Remus should have never accepted Sirius’ offer for a car ride. His entire leg is burning, and not with pain, but rather from the heat of being pressed against Sirius’ for a ten-minute car ride.
He has the insane urge to rub it, as if that could get rid of the lingering feel of Sirius. Oh, he is so far gone for that boy, it’s not good. That stupid, lovely boy who wormed his way into Remus’ life with his shameless flirting and his dazzling smiles. Remus stumbles into his classroom, heart fluttering just thinking about Sirius.
“Good morning?” Regulus asks, a smirk gracing his features.
“No. Absolute shit.” Remus breathes out, running his hands over his face.
Regulus raises one perfect brow in question. “I’m having some serious boy problems.” Remus groans in response.
“You-like-him problems or you-need-to-hide-his-body problems?” “I like him.” Remus mumbles.
Regulus clicks his tongue. “Shame. I could’ve helped with the other one.” He returns to writing in his notebook, and Remus reaches over to grasp his arm.
“Please, you’ve gotta help me. I have a huge crush on him, and I don’t even want it.” Regulus shoots him a dirty look, ripping his arm out of Remus’ grip. “I’m not an expert in romance. Go get a bloody therapist if you need one.”
“You’ve signed up to be a free therapist by being friends with me.” Remus tells him. “Now you’re obligated to listen as I dump my problems onto you.”
Regulus’ nose twitches slightly, like he’s about to sneeze, and their attention is drawn up front as a young man claps his hands.
“Hello everyone, my name is Mr. Leopold, and I am filling in for Professor Flitwick this morning, he was not feeling well. Shall we go around the class and introduce ourselves? I know I am only filling in for your professor for one class, but I would love to get to know all of you.” He gestures to one of the girls in the front row to start, and she bats her lashes as she says her name.
Remus pokes Regulus in the side. “What do you think happened with Flitwick?”
“No clue.” Regulus shrugs. His phone, on the top of the desk, begins to buzz. Regulus flips it over and all colour drains from his face. “Mr. Leopold?” His hand shoots up into the air.
“Yes, Mr…?”
“Black, sir. Regulus Black. May I take this phone call? It’s very important.”
“Yes, be quick.” Remus shoots Regulus a questioning look, but Regulus refuses to meet his eye.
Minutes tick by, but Regulus doesn’t show back up in class. What was that phone call about? Maybe it was a job offer that Regulus really wanted? But that wouldn’t explain why his face turned ashen.
Remus is snapped out of his musings when Mr. Leopold calls out to him. “Erm, Remus, was it? Could you go see where that young man might have gone?”
“Sure.” Remus hurriedly exits the classroom, and almost trips over Regulus, who is sitting on the floor by the doorway.
His hands are buried in his hair, and his face is streaked with tears.
“Hey, hey, are you alright?” Remus kneels to the floor, his hands reaching for Regulus. Regulus flinches away, violently, then his eyes are on Remus’. He looks like a terrified child.
“What’s wrong? Can I help?” Remus asks softly, and Regulus shakes his head. His eyes shut, his hands come up to scrub over his face, and he takes two heaving breaths. When his eyes open again a few seconds later, it’s as though he was never sobbing on the floor. There’s a calm, collected demeanour in his grey irises, and he heaves himself to his feet.
“I have to leave.” Regulus pushes the door aside, striding into the classroom like he owns the place. His spine is ramrod straight. “I’m sorry, Professor, but I have to go.” That is all he offers before gathering his things and marching back out the door.
~.~
The next morning, Sirius wakes up in a good mood before he remembers Remus has a day off from the coffee shop today and he won’t be able to see him.
He’s done quite a bit of snooping, and either Remus Lupin has virtually no social media accounts, or they are very well hidden.
Sirius flops down onto the couch in the living room still in his pyjamas, checking his email. Their grades for the paintings they turned in yesterday have come back, and Sirius allows himself a small sigh of relief when he sees his high score. There’s not been any new assignments, but maybe he should start working on that painting he promised that client last week?
His stomach grumbles, and Sirius heaves himself up to check the fridge for anything edible.
Not his lucky day, as it’s virtually empty. Sirius is a shit cook, and he’s not afraid to admit it. The constant nagging question; should he get takeout? Or go out?
Sirius’ phone buzzes on the table in the living room, and he rushes back to pick it up. The number isn’t one he recognises, and he sighs slightly as he swipes to pick the call up.
“Hello?”
He’s expecting a call about a bill, perhaps a client calling about a commission.
What he doesn’t expect, however, is to hear a voice he hasn’t heard for more than five years.
“Sirius? Sirius, this is Regulus. I’m calling… I’m calling about our mother. She’s dead.”