My way home is paved with grief, regret, and hatred. I could easily apparate to the small cottage that I call home but I can't bring myself to do it. That home holds more memories that cause pain much like a white hot poker being driven through my heart. Passing people on the street I can only imagine what I look like to them. A young man in his mid twenties dressed in a thrift store suit scarred face, eyes red rimmed from crying and tears rolling down his cheeks without even bothering to wipe them away. Some of them stop and stare while others purposefully avoid looking at me. I hear the deep bark of a dog, my head automatically turning to follow the noise, my heart in my throat with the anticipation of seeing my lover forgetting for a second where I was walking from or what has been going on. My eyes scan the area not seeing the usual black scruffy face of Padfoot not finding any sign of the dog. The only dog on the street was a German Shepherd, with no sign of him my resolve breaks and a sob rattles out from my chest. Shoving my fist into my mouth I bite onto my knuckles trying to quiet the sobs that keep spilling out.
The glow from the street lamps breaks up the inky darkness of the night allowing for shadows to form, warping them making them even scarier. Quickly ducking into an alleyway the smell of urine and cigarettes hits me causing me to choke. Pulling out my wand I apparate to the hill just a little ways away from the cottage. Falling to my knees the moment I am stable I let out a scream. One that is filled with sorrow and sadness. I can’t believe they really took him. They really believed that one of the most loving men was a death eater. Standing, I turn towards the cottage looking it over. The small white fence was left open after Sirius went and got the post this morning, the hedges slightly overgrown glistened in the moonlight with the mist that hung in the air. Walking up the walkway, gravel crunching under my feet, I pause at the door just hoping for a moment when I open it. This will have all been a bad dream. That Sirius will be on the other side listening to a new vinyl and dancing around the living room with Harry. But I am met with a deafening silence that seems to be the loudest sound.