4
The rest of the week passed by pretty quickly, and everyday was basically the same. At every meal Sirius would shoot dirty looks at the Slytherin table, and during every class (especially the ones they had with
Slytherin) Sirius starred daggers at Remus. Remus could not care less. During meals he had a great time talking with Barty and Evan, gettting gossip from Pandora, and bitching with Regulus and Dorcas. None of the
Marauders spoke to him and he spent most of his time with the Slytherins or Mary, Marlene, and Lily.
Every once in while, while he was in the library with the Slytherins, Marlene would find them. She always had some strange reason or fake excuse as to why she was there and it always required her to hang out with them for a bit. Conveniently, every time this happened the person who was sat next to Dorcas also had a fake excuse and would leave the group, leaving their seat available for Marlene.
Every time this happened, Remus would laugh and shoot Marlene a knowing look. Marlene, in turn, shot him a dirty look before asking Dorcas about what she was doing.
Other than those few times, the Slytherins and the Gryffindors never interacted with each other, they simply starred each other down. Things were the same as always, except now Remus was on the Slytherin end.
Before Remus knew it, the week was over and it was Saturday. He had planned on spending the entire day in the dorm, either sleeping or reading. Of course, this was not going to fly with Barty and Evan, who desperately wanted to go to the party that Hufflepuff was throwing.
"I don't see the point. There's not even a quidditch game or anything." Remus complained
"Do we need a reason to have fun?" Evan argued.
They had been going back and forth like that for an hour. Evan and Barty begging him to go, Remus saying he wouldn't but the could, them getting upset and insisting he needed to go. Honestly, Remus felt the whole argument was a little pointless. They had been friends for a while without him, so they could go by themselves and be just fine. Plus him going really made no difference. As far as he knew, he didn't really get noticed at parties. He usually just hung around with Sirius, James, and Peter. They were the ones who got noticed. The ones who were pulled away by gorgeous girls, crowded into small cupboards where they were most likely shagging said girls.
Remus hated parties. He hated the loud music, people yelling, spilling drinks everywhere, cheap alcohol, and sticky floors. But most of all, he hated the girls. Hated the way they would all crowd Sirius, gushing over him, giggling whenever he spoke. He hated how Sirius smiled and laughed with them. How at the end of the night, one lucky girl got to disappear with him into a broom closet. He hated that he couldn't be that girl.
Remus hated parties.
And it truly was pathetic. Evervone knew he liked Sirius. That he had liked Sirius since fourth year, when Sirius, for some unknown reason, decided that they were close enough to see each other naked. Remus would never forget the way his mouth had just dropped wide open when Sirius stepped out of the bathroom wearing nothing. Not even a towel. And he continued to do this every. single. day. It had been hell for Remus. So many confused thoughts and feelings running around his brain, twisting into circles, a winding spiral that only led him back to one thought:
He wanted, no, needed to fuck Sirius Black.
Although Remus had never acted on that urge, or even mentioned it to anyone, it wasn't long before anyone who knew both him and Sirius decided that they were soulmates. Sirius was constantly refered to as Remus's boyfriend and vice versa. Remus really thought it meant nothing. That it could go no where, and now he was sure of that. Because even if Sirius did magically wake up one day and decided he was in love with Remus, Remus didn't want him anymore. Not after Sirius's little "prank"
“I hate parties,” was all Remus could tell Evan and Barty after tney insisted for the one hundredth time that he go.
"Fine " Evan said, clearly very upset, "then don't come.” And with that, both him and Barty left the room, leaving Remus all alone.
Remus was honestly fine with that. He was glad to have some alone time to read in peace. However, this only lasted for about ten minutes before Regulus came into the room, looking especially pissed off.
"What the fuck have you done?” He asked, cutting straight to the point.
"What do you mean?” Remus asked, very confused.
"Evan and Barty are practically throwing a tantrum, saying you won't go to a party or something." Regulus explained.
"Oh. Yeah, l don’t want to go and they’re trying to force me to.” Remus muttered, suddenly feeling rather childish.
Regulus paused for a moment, thinking. Then he came and sat down on the edge of Remus's bed.
"Look, Lupin,” he began, "I'm not going to tell you what to do, you're your own person and you can make your own choices. But I'm going to say that if you spend all your time in this dorm, reading and feeling sorry for yourself you’re never going to be happy again. And, while normally I would be incapable of caring less, I know that you only feel this way because of Sirius, so I'm going to tell you something and then I'm going to leave and you can spend the night doing whatever you please.”
Regulus paused, took a deep breath and then continued, "Sirius is by far the stupidest person you will ever meet. He is incapable of foming a meaningful commitment. It would have never worked out between you and him because he is too selfish, he only cares about his own wants and he's proved that with his 'prank' on Severus. You can do whatever you want Remus, but personally, think there are better was to spend your time than moping over my idiotic brother.”
The second the last word left his mouth, Regulus was standing up and walking out the door. Just before it shut completely, Remus called out, "thank you Reg." And even though he didn't respond, Remus was sure Regulus heard.
Barty and Evan had been overjoyed when Remus told them he would go to the party. They had jumped up and down and screamed, it reminded him slightly of Sirius and James when they got particularly excited about a prank.
The party started around 9, but Regulus refused to leave a second earlier than 9:45, saying he wanted to be able to slip in and out unnoticed.
“And if I get bored I’m going to leave early and you cannot stop me.” He told Barty as they walked over to Hufflepuff common room.
“Reg would you just lighten up? Have a drink, dance, snog someone, have a bit of fun.” Barty complained.
“Never,” Regulus spoke, “I’ll go to the parties but I will not be participating in the teenage stupidity that is getting drunk and hooking up.”
They reached the Hufflepuff common room and entered through the portrait hole. It was exactly like you would expect, a large dim room, filled to the brim with teenagers, loud music blaring from an unknown source, people laugh, yelling, cheering, everyone with a cup in hand, people dancing, couples making out in dark corners. It was chaos, but it was fun.
Pandora immediately announced that she wanted to go dance, grabbing Evan to take him with her. Evan grabbed onto Barty, who grabbed Dorcas, and all four of them walked off toward the dance floor. This left just Regulus and Remus standing awkwardly, not moving.
“Let’s get a drink.” Regulus shouted over the music, and Remus agreed. They weaved their way through the crowd of people and made it to the table filled with beers, a half empty bottle of fire whiskey, and some suspicious looking punch. Remus reached and grabbed two beers for him and Regulus. They second he had picked them up two more appeared in their place. Impressive magic, likely done by one of the seventh years.
He opened the tab on his beer and took the first sip. It was ice cold and the carbonation burned his nose and stung his eyes as he swallowed it. If he was being honest, Remus wasn’t bothered much by the flavor of beer. He’d been drinking since he was fourteen. Drinking was actually the only part of parties he enjoyed.
Regulus took a sip of his beer and immediately scrunched up his face in disgust.
“Don’t like drinking?” Remus asked.
“It’s not the drinking I mind, just this particular drink.” Regulus’s shouted back.
“Oh yes I forgot, a Black’s pallet is too refined for such cheap liquor.” Remus teased. He remembered Sirius was the same. He had no problem with expensive wine or scotch, but the second he tasted cheap beer he was disgusted. If Remus was being honest, he couldn’t tell the difference. All alcohol was alcohol, it served only to get him drunk and make his life slightly easier, even for just a few hours.
Regulus and him didn’t talk much, they just sat there observing everyone else. There was one couple in the corner that Remus noticed. A girl snoging a boy, his hands on her waist while her hands were fisted in his hair. At one point, they broke apart. The boy said something a gestured vaguely at the drink table. The girl nodded and the boy walked away. However, instead of going to the drink table he walked straight past it and up to a different girl. They exchanged a few words and then he began to make out with her. After about five minutes he left this new girl and walked back to the first girl.
Remus was utterly shocked by this. On one hand, he felt bad for the first girl. She honestly thought the boy had gone to get a drink and was completely clueless about what he had actually been doing. On the other hand, Remus sort of admired the boy. The boy who didn’t even seem sorry, who was able to have two very attractive girls into him, and he didn’t even care about either of them. He was happy to switch between the two all night. That was something Remus had never been able to do, always growing too attached even if they weren’t even technically dating. He always wished he could be like James or Sirius or this Two-girlfriends Guy; a new person every hour, no attachments, no regret. Just living in the moment.
Eventually, Dorcas and Evan wandered back over to them. Dorcas, who looked very tired from all the dancing, grabbed Regulus and pulled him closer so she could tell him something without the others hearing. Apparently whatever it was, Regulus was not happy with it.
“No, Cas. Absolutely not.” He said pulling away from her.
“Reggie please!” Dorcas begged, “I need someone there in case I get in a jam and you are the meanest person I know.”
“That’s kind.” Regulus said, turning away from her.
“Reggie please!” Dorcas repeated. She paused for a moment, and looked like she was considering something. She made up her mind, leaned over to Regulus and said something to him. Remus was sure she was whispering and was not sure Regulus’s would be able to hear her. But apparently he did because he straightened up suddenly, his shoulders tensed and he gripped his beer a little tighter. He shot Dorcas a look and god if looks could kill. But apparently whatever Dorcas said worked because he simply nodded his head and allowed himself to be dragged off by her, disappearing into the crowd.
Remus turned around to face Evan.
“What was that about?” Remus asked him,
Evan shook his head and shrugged. “No idea. One second we were dancing, the next she was running over here insisting she needed Regulus to go with her somewhere.”
Remus nodded, making a mental note to ask about it later.
Evan came and stood next to him, offering him a new beer can. Remus had drank four already but he accepted anyway.
“Having a good time?” Evan asked.
“It’s ok.” Remus replied. “Free beer is always good.”
“Have you just been here the whole time?” Evan questioned
“Pretty much.” Remus answered.
“Well no wonder your not having a good time. You gotta get out there, dance and have fun.” Evan laughed.
“Yeah, uh, dancing isn’t really my thing.” Remus smiled.
“Ok well, the least you can do is get a little drunk, I mean, it is a party.” Evan said with a wink.
“I am drinking.” Remus argued, as Evan searched for something in the drink table.
“There’s a fine line between drinking and drunk, Lupin” Evan argued, pulling out a bottle of vodka. “Now come on, have a shot. Or two… or eight.”
“Eight!?” Remus yelled, “there’s no fucking way I’m doing eight shots!”
“I’m kidding I’m kidding! Have two then we’ll see where we’re at.”
Two seems fair. Only two and then he won’t drink for the rest of the night, what time was it anyways? It had to be late.
Evan poured them two shots each, and they knocked their glasses together before downing one after the other.
The liquid burned Remus’s throat on the way down, but a good burn. The kind that left you feeling warm after. Evan laughed and Remus found himself laughing along. This was good. This was fun.
“Shall we do another?” Evan laughed, and for some odd reason, Remus nodded.
Just one more. Three and two isn’t that big a difference, it doesn’t change much. Just one.
Two more times Remus said this, and by the fifth shot, his head was spinning and he was laughing for reasons he couldn’t remember. He washed the taste of vodka out of his mouth with another swig of his beer. Evan was still gagging on the taste of the last shot, which made Remus laugh even harder.
“You good Rosier?” He said between snickers.
“No” Evan coughed.
Remus laughed again and stepped a bit closer, offering his beer can. Evan took it greatfully and took a big sip, swallowing the liquid with a sigh, licking his lips after. Remus’s eyes stayed locked on Evan’s lips, and he couldn’t help but remember how good they had felt against his own.
Fuck it was hot in this room. And what time was it? When would this end?
Evan was now looking at him, starring really. The look in his eyes reminding Remus of how he looked before they kissed.
“Uh, thanks” Evan said, offering the beer back to Remus.
“Yeah no problem.” Remus answered.
And maybe it was the music, maybe it was how close they were standing, maybe it was the five shots he just had, or maybe it was Remus’s urge to be like the guy he had seen earlier. To have no attachments, no regrets.
To live in the moment.
He moved first, pressing his mouth against Evans and grabbing him by the back of his neck. It took Evan a moment to catch up, but the second he did he was all over Remus. Running his hands through his hair, down his chest, eventually reaching the waistband of Remus’s pants and using it to pull him impossibly closer.
Remus trailed his hand down Evan’s side, eventually gripping his ass. Evan moaned into Remus’s mouth and that seemed to snap Remus out of his trance and made him realize that they were in a very public place.
Evan seemed to have the same thought, looking around the room until his eyes landed on something behind Remus. Evan grabbed his hand and pulled him along through the crowd and into a small broom closet that, surprisingly, was unoccupied at the moment. Just before the door shut, Remus was sure he caught a glimpse of James, standing next to Marlene with a cup in hand. They locked eyes for only a second, and then the door shut.
The second the door shut, Evan was back on him. Lips pressed against his. He tasted like beer, vodka, and a hint of cigarettes. And, fuck it was intoxicating. He grabbed Evan by the front of his shirt and pulled him closer, needing the taste in his mouth.
Evan had him pressed against the door, a hand on either side of his head, and his hips pressed against Remus’s. Remus could feel how hard Evan was even through his pants and he was sure Evan could tell how hard he was.
Fuck.
Is that embarrassing? It felt embarrassing.
There were rarely moments where it wasn’t embarrassing. When he was with his friends, when he saw a bloke that was particularly good looking, when Sirius decided to walk around naked… it was incredibly inappropriate at times like that.
Of course there were moments when it wasn’t wrong. I mean, yes, Remus had been in love with the same boy for years, but that didn’t mean he had never done anything with anyone. When he was 14, over winter holidays he had gone to stay at the Potter’s house. At some point, he had offered to run to the store for Euphemia and while he was out, he ran into one very attractive boy. He was around 16, and very charming. They talked for all of five minutes and then, for reasons Remus could not explain, they had ended up shagging in the backseat of the blokes car.
Since then, he had hooked up with a few guys back in his home town each summer. So, although he was no stranger to one night hook ups, he was still somehow embarrassed by something as simple as a boner.
“Are you ok?” Evan whispered against his lips. Apparently, Remus wasn’t as good at hiding his doubts as he thought he was.
“Yeah yeah, sorry.” Remus murmured, “guess I’m just sort of nervous.” He tried to play it off like a joke, but it didn’t really sound that way.
Evan pulled away slightly, a look of concern crossing over his face. “Remus… are you… I mean you’re not…” he paused, “fuck, Remus, are you a virgin?”
“What?” Remus said, taken aback.
“I mean there’s nothing wrong with that.” Evan insisted, “really it’s fine I just-”
“I’m not a virgin Evan!” Remus said, trying not to sound too offended. “I just, I don’t know, I’ve never actually had sex with someone who’s not a stranger.”
“Oh.” Evan said softly, “well, if you don’t want to..”
“No I do, I do” Remus interrupted, “really I’m just nervous, I’ll relax it’s ok.”
“Well, there are… other things we could do” Evan said, a smirk spreading across his face.
He went right back to kissing Remus’s lips, but softer this time. He slowly slid his mouth along the taller boys jaw, and down to his neck. He continued this all the way down Remus’s lanky body, until he reached his pants. His fingers rested on the button of Remus’s jeans, looking up at him and silently asking for permission. Remus nodded slightly, and just like that Evan was undoing his pants and pulling them down. He ran his finger tips along Remus’s length, causing the taller boy to shudder.
He did that a few more times before reaching up to the seam of Remus’s boxers.
“This ok?” He whispered, glancing up at Remus.
“Fuck, Evan, yes” Remus moaned, bucking his hips off the wall.
Evan smiled softly as he slowly lowered Remus’s boxers, revealing his rock hard erection.
The cold air meeting his hot skin sent a chill through Remus’s body and he shivered slightly.
Whatever doubts Remus had disappeared the moment he saw the way Evan was looking at him, eyes filled with lust.
He slowly lowered himself until his mouth was less than an inch away from Remus’s cock. He glanced up at Remus one final time and then, without breaking eye contact, he wrapped his lips around Remus.
The sound that left the taller boys mouth was absurd, as he pushed his hips foward and slid farther down Evan’s throat. He fit his entire length in before Evan gagged and pulled back.
The second his mouth was gone his hand was there, stroking up and down Remus’s cock and making soft whimpers fall from his lips. Evan wrapped his mouth around Remus’s tip and his hands worked the rest of Remus’s length. Remus could barely control himself, fisting his hands in Evan’s hair and bucking wildly.
“Fuck, Evan I’m so close” Remus whined.
Evan removed his hand and began bobbing up and down on Remus’s cock. The taller boy moaned loudly and shook as his orgasm hit him, letting go inside Evan’s mouth.
The blonde boy kept his mouth around Remus as he worked his though his orgasm. And when Remus was finally done, Evan swallowed every drop.
Remus was left panting against the wall as Evan slowly stood from where he was kneeling on the floor.
“Fuck Evan,” Remus muttered, “that was… you were… fuck”
As he bent down to pull up his pants, he couldn’t help but notice Evan’s errection through his pants.
“Don’t you want me to, I mean I could-” he gestured vaguely to Evan’s pants but Evan just smiled and shook his head.
“Don’t worry about it” he smiled.
Remus nodded quietly, “ok, yeah. Next time for sure”
Evan flushed and glanced up at Remus,
“There’s a next time?”
“Definitely.” Remus smiled
Evan laughed and shook his head.
“I’ll see you later Remus” Evan smiled. And with that, he opens the door and leaves Remus alone, blushing in the dark.