Subverted Expectations

One week before she would finally be allowed to take her rightful place by the Dark Lord’s side, permanently; one week before Andy’s separation from Ted Tonks would inevitably send her running back to her and Cissy; one week before she and Hermione started the next chapter of their relationship.

One week before graduation, she noticed that Hermione was hiding something from her.

Whether this was because she had only just then started hiding it from her, or because Bellatrix simply hadn’t noticed before then, was up for debate, but the fact still remained that something was clearly on her mind, and whatever it was, she wasn’t sharing it with Bellatrix. As she had been under the assumption that all secrets between them had now been aired, she couldn’t imagine what might be going on this time, but she was, of course, determined to find out.

She came to this revelation while they were sitting together in their classroom, because she had been watching Hermione from across the room. There was unfortunately still an icy distance between them that really did need to be resolved at some point in the next week, which was why Bellatrix chose not to bring up whatever it was that was bothering her, because as much as Hermione said she valued ‘open communication’ and ‘being honest with each other’, she couldn’t possibly mean that, because every time Bellatrix was honest with her, she got yelled at. 

So, at the end of the evening, she let Hermione kiss her stiffly on the cheek and leave the room without saying anything. She had plenty of time; after all, classes were over, and the only thing they had to do was spend time with each other or their respective friends and sister. 

In this regard, it had been a very strange week for Bellatrix. In her seven years at Hogwarts, she had never, at any point, expressed any interest in interacting with any of her classmates. At the beginning, she was sure that there had been some other students who had attempted to befriend her, but by now, the feeling was certainly more than mutual. There were ten other Slytherins in her year other than Rodolphus and herself; she knew approximately half of their first names, and only because she lived with that half. Then there was the Quidditch team, of which she knew five of the other players’ names and absolutely none of the reserves, and then her sisters, Lucius and a few other Slytherins from more affluent families, and- that was it. Yes, she knew, vaguely, the names and faces of some of the other people in her year from other houses as well, but they hardly counted.

But, as their time at Hogwarts drew to a close, her classmates abruptly and without warning began trying to speak to her, and interact, and generally be friendly in a way they had not in years, if not ever. The only reason none of them got hexed to kingdom come was that Bellatrix had been so thoroughly off-put by this development that she hadn’t been able to summon up a response, positive or negative, which everyone had unfortunately taken as a sign that she was somehow amenable to this.

Still, there was only a week left of school and she was feeling charitable, so she had decided to spend as much time in her dorm as possible and otherwise tolerate it until she finally made her escape. There was, after all, no point in instilling any fear in the people she was never going to see again after this week. 

So, when she walked into her Common Room that evening, she was intercepted by an extraordinarily enthusiastic Rita Skeeter. As Skeeter was rarely ever enthusiastic about anything except perhaps gossiping (what she was relatively sure was the only thing the other girl did in her spare time), it didn’t take very long for her to figure out that she was, for lack of better phrasing, drunk off her arse.

“Bella!” she squealed, reminding Bellatrix of why she had chosen to set her bed curtains on fire at some point during each of the seven years in a row now. “You’ve got to come try some of this firewhiskey, David nicked some from the Hogs’ Head.”

David, she presumed, was one of the boys sitting around in the circle- possibly the one sitting next to Rodolphus, but one could never be too sure.

(One week until the marriage preparations started- she had quite forgotten about that. Hopefully they wouldn’t be too tedious, but if her sister was going to be in any way involved, they were sure to be.)

“I’d rather not have a hangover tomorrow, thanks,” she muttered, pushing past her to her dorm. To her credit (of which Rita was due none), she let her go by with only a half-hearted complaint, solidifying her theory that, at the end of the day, they didn’t really want to hang out with her, but a strange sense of nostalgia was making them feel obligated to invite her anyway.

She didn’t much see the point in it, honestly. What was the point of making friends now? She did not have any particularly happy memories of any of these people, except for possibly Rodolphus, and she wasn’t interested in making any. She estimated that it would take her about two months- maybe less- to forget most of them existed. 

Besides, she had enough on her plate already. Right now, her chief concern was making sure Hermione wasn’t mad at her by the time they graduated, because if she was, that would just make it awkward for afterwards. Of course, she had no doubts that she would find a way- Hermione wasn’t going to be mad at her forever- but it couldn’t hurt to be proactive.

With that final, reassuring thought, she let herself drift off to sleep.

—-----------------------------------

She did not have any plans to see the Dark Lord this week, which left her plenty of time to patch things up with Hermione. This turned out to be both a blessing and a curse; she was given time to think about it this time so she wouldn’t somehow start an argument, but she also ended up pushing it back again and again until suddenly, school ended tomorrow and she had done nothing that week but lounge around and come up with half-baked plans.

So, with no other option left available to her, she sucked it up and went to talk to her girlfriend. 

Honestly, the things she did for her….

“Hey- Hermione? Can we talk?”

Hermione looked up so quickly that Bellatrix was vaguely concerned she would break her neck. Her eyes were shining, and Bellatrix felt victory surge through her- this was a good sign. “Of course we can.”

“Right. Great. So- you’re hiding something from me, aren’t you? For the last week, at least. I can tell.”

To her dismay, Hermione’s face fell. “Oh. Well- yes, I suppose so. But- Bella, don’t you think there’s anything else we should talk about? Anything important, that might be coming up?”

“Er- no? I just wanted to make sure you weren’t still mad at me or anything, seeing as we’re graduating soon.” This did not set Hermione’s mind at ease like she’d hoped it might- instead, she actually started looking more upset.

“Can we talk about that, too? Because- well, like you said, we’re graduating soon. Very soon. And I’m starting to get, well, worried.”

“Worried about what? Don’t tell me you think you failed your N.E.W.T.’s. Trust me, Hermione, you’re not going to have to take your seventh year over again. Katherine Connors, maybe, but….”

“No, that’s not what I’m- well, of course I’m always concerned about my school work, but- that’s not the point! The point, Bella, is that we haven’t talked about what we’re doing after graduation. And- well, frankly, I am starting to get a bit concerned.”

Oh. Was that all? “You don’t need to be concerned about that. Why would you be?”

“What do you mean? Will we still be dating? Are we ever going to see each other? Will you be able to see me? I need an answer, Bella, and I needed it yesterday, because I- well, there are just a few decisions that I need to make. I want- you’re important to me, Bella, but I can’t do this if you’re not going to be upfront with me.”

“Hermione. You’re being ridiculous. Everything’s going to be fine. Of course we’ll see each other.”

“And if your Dark Lord tells you you can’t see me anymore? What then? What if I wanted you to leave the  Dark Lord and come live with me?”

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

“I’m not being ridiculous!”

“Yes, you are! You’re asking stupid questions, with very obvious answers, and if that isn’t ridiculous I don’t know what is.” 

“Then what are the answers to those questions, Bella? Because you didn’t give me any, and that’s what worries me. You still haven’t- you’re going to have to choose eventually.”

“Choose what?”

“Choose me! Or him, or whoever you- you can’t just keep pretending you can have both of us! That’s not how this works, Bella, that’s not how your life is supposed to work, a world where I’m happy with you, where we’re happy together, can’t exist with one where you’re serving someone who wants me and everyone like me dead!”

“What are you saying? You’re not….”

“I just want you to make a decision, Bella. That’s all I’m asking of you.”

See? This was why she didn’t want to have this conversation. Every time she tried to talk about anything, Hermione just wanted to argue with her over nothing. But, hey, she could still fix this. 

“Give me some time.”

“Bella, we don’t have time. We are graduating in two days. If you can’t make a decision by then….”

“Then what?”

Hermione looked at her, something cold in her eyes. “If you can’t figure that out, Bella, then we just have another problem right there.”

“Right. Because there’s always something with you, isn’t there?”

They both stood there for a moment then, until-

“I’m gonna- go back to my dorm for the night, Bella. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Hey, come on, don’t-”

“I said I’ll see you tomorrow, Bella. Now let me go.”

Reluctantly, Bellatrix moved out of the doorway, and Hermione brushed past her, trying to pretend she wasn’t brushing tears from her eyes. Bellatrix stood there for far too long afterwards, trying to figure out why.

—---------------------------------

“Congrats, Bella!”

“Please. As if I wasn’t going to graduate. I’m a model student.”

Andy huffed mockingly, which was really just unfair.

“Of course you are, Bella. Now, come on- we need to get a good compartment.” Cissy led her off towards the train, leaving Andy behind. Bellatrix had not noticed this any other year, naturally, but now that it was her graduating she had to wonder why they had them board the train right after the ceremony- she supposed the teachers were just done with them at that point, and literally couldn’t wait a moment longer to kick them out.

She supposed it didn’t make much of a difference at the end of the day- besides, the sooner she got home, the sooner she would see the Dark Lord, who would likely be at the house to greet them when they arrived. She wasn’t sure if she would’ve been able to wait another day anyway.

She sat with Cissy, of course- she would be leaving her sister in an unfortunate position for the next few years, she was sure, but she did still have Lucius, at the very least (though that was hardly an upgrade). This did mean that she wasn’t sitting with Hermione, but she was sure she would prefer to sit with her Gryffindor friends, or whatever. She did, however, get up under the pretense of going to the bathroom, just to look for her, because she was a good girlfriend like that.

But, evidently, Hermione didn’t appreciate her efforts, because she wasn’t even there- figuring that she had probably gone to the bathroom, she hung around outside, which had the added bonus of making them all look incredibly nervous.

It was only ten minutes later that she considered that something might be wrong.

And so she did the unthinkable- she walked into their compartment, and spoke to them.

“Where’s H- Emma?”

“Why? You want to hex her one more time?” Connors challenged, showing a presence of a spine that Bellatrix had never known was there.

“Maybe I do, maybe I don’t. Just tell me where she is.”

“You’re out of luck. She’s not on the train- she said she’d be getting home another way,” Perry told her. “But she did say to give you this.” She handed her a piece of parchment.

Bellatrix took it, her mouth suddenly feeling glued shut for some reason, her head pounding wildly. She nodded vaguely and left, letting her hands start shaking once they could no longer see her.

Bella-

You asked me two days ago what I was hiding, and I realize now I never answered. Dumbledore found a way to send me back. I hadn’t decided then whether I was going to take it. 

I wanted to stay, Bella. I really did. I made some good friends in this time- I found you, and you were more than I could have ever imagined. But I just couldn’t do it anymore. I have too much waiting for me at home, and I needed more from you than you were able to give me, I think. Or I just needed something different. 

I love you, and I’m sorry, but I’m not going to see you again. At least, not for very many years. But- do me a favor, Bella? Please don’t follow the path you’re on. If you ever listen to anything I tell you, please let it be that. Then maybe next time we meet, we won’t be on different sides. We won’t be enemies. You won’t hurt me.

All I can do is hope.

• Hermione

The note started smoking in her hands; within moments, it was falling between her fingers, ashes on the ground.

—--------------------------------------------

“Ah, Bella. It has only been a week, but it feels like much longer. How was your graduation?”

“Fine, my Lord. I was just waiting to get back here.”

They were in a side chamber in Black Manor; they were alone, and there was nowhere else she would rather be. 

“Something is troubling you, Bella. What is it?”

“Nothing, my Lord. I suppose it’s strange not being at Hogwarts anymore. But I’m ready for this new life. I’m ready for whatever you have ready for me.”

“Good. See, I have been hoping to bring a new form to my movement. I will begin asking my allies, my followers, to mark themselves and become one of my Death Eaters- my most loyal followers. I want you to be the first.”

“You- you want me to be…?”

“Of course. No one else has been as loyal to the cause as you; as loyal to me as you. Give me your arm.”

She handed herself to him, and he pressed his wand into her forearm, and something seared on her skin; tears pricked in her eyes, and then it was over, and His mark was on her arm, and she was his, and he had chosen her, and the world, in that moment and every other afterwards, was perfect.

—--------------------------------

Hermione Granger opened her eyes to the sound of spellfire.

It took her a moment to remember where she was- she’d walked up here, and ended up in this room, and then she had been there, and-

And she was back, now, and there was fighting to be done, and it was time to save the world. 

She heaved herself to her feet and ran downstairs, trying to get herself ready for battle. It had been so long, now- it had almost been nice, being away from the war, but now she was back and now she needed to focus and now she needed to be present.

It didn’t occur to her until she was in the Great Hall that Bellatrix would be there. Of course she was- she always had been. She just hadn’t….

But there she was, on one of the tables in all her glory, except the years had faded her, and she hadn’t ever noticed that before, and would she recognize her, would she-

But that was the problem, wasn’t it? 

Hermione’s heart leapt into her throat when she saw Bellatrix nearly hit Ginny- and oh, Ginny, she hadn’t seen Ginny in so long- longer than Harry and Ron, even, and she had missed her so much, and she had made the right decision- at the end of the day, she knew this was where she was meant to be.

Mrs. Weasley stepped up, and Hermione realized with a chill what was going to happen a moment before it did. She stepped forward as the spell hit Bella, square in the chest, and sent her toppling over.

Someone screamed; the Dark Lord screamed, and as a final mercy, Hermione let herself hope that Bella, somehow, had heard him.