second child, restless child

Sirius woke up sweating. For a second he could pretend it was just a dream, but it quickly hit him that Alphard really was dead. It wasn’t a dream, it had been real. He was missing Regulus, but he knew he couldn’t return home. If he did it would just make everything worse. 

He got up from the bench, and that was when he realised that it must have been extremely early in the morning, since the sun was barely up yet. His head was hurting and when he looked down the white shirt was practically beige by now. 

Seriously? He has just had the worst night of his life and the only thing he cares about is what his suit looks like? 

Getting up from the bench was apparently harder than he would’ve thought, especially with this new, piercing headache. Everything was spinning, so Sirius had to pause and just stand still until the feeling disappeared. When it eventually did disappear, he decided to walk to the closest pub he could find. 

He found this place called Flortesques Pub, and when he walked in it looked just like the type of place where you could sit in a booth without anyone bothering you. Which was great, because he really needed to think of what to do now that he’s on his own. 

He sat down in a booth by the corner without ordering anything just yet. Lying on the table, he found a copy of The Daily Prophet. 

Alphard Black dead, Sirius Black missing. 

He continued reading. 

Last night, Alphard was found dead in his house. The cause of death has not been released to the public yet, but Walburga Black, Alphard’s sister, has told me that she does not want an investigation. Regulus Black is now back in custody of Walburga and Orion Black. 

“That fucker-” Sirius said out loud, before stopping himself. 

Walburga has already gone to the press with the whole affair. That would mean it was just a matter of time before everyone found out it was his fault. And Regulus back in custody of their parents? Was nobody questioning this?

His thoughts were abruptly interrupted by the bell on the door ringing, and then the man working behind the bar shouting: “Hey, you two can’t be in here!” 

Sirius walked up to see two punks walking up to the bar. One was about 5’7, blonde and a lot chubbier than the other. His hair was styled like spikes all over his head, and he was wearing a leather jacket and ripped, black jeans. “Good morning to you too, Florean! 

His friend was a lot taller, maybe taller than Sirius, so around 6’1 feet. That one had red hair in a mohawk, but you could see the black roots. He had brown skin and was wearing a white tank top, with pants similar to the blond one, but his had patches all over it. Sirius wasn’t close enough to read any of them though. 

“Where’re you hiding Alice, Florean?” The tall one said, making the shorter one laugh. 

A girl with short brown hair came out, dressed as if she was working at the pub. “James, seriously, I need you two to stop coming here. You scare the customers,” She said and Sirius assumed this was Alice. 

“Do we scare away customers? Now, don’t be ridiculous,” James laughed. “But we’re as sweet as pie!”

This made Sirius laugh, which unfortunately drew the attention of James and his friend. 

“Oi, why’re you sitting in our booth?” The short one said. 

“Look Pete, he’s wearing a suit!” James said, pointing at the red suit Sirius was wearing. 

Sirius thought about moving to another table, but he disliked that they thought they could tell him what to do. “You two don’t own this booth. Opposite, actually, you don’t even seem to be allowed here,”

“Ohh, you’re feisty!” James joked. “Calm down, posh boy. We don’t want trouble,”

“You look familiar,” Pete said. “Are you a movie star or something?”

“Uh no, I just have one of those faces, you know,” While James seemed to buy his excuse, Peter saw right through him and snatched the newspaper that Sirius was trying to hide with his arm. 

“Yeah? Well let’s look at this then,” Pete said and unfolded the newspaper. James had gotten himself a beer from another table and was sipping on it while looking over Pete’s shoulder.

“Oh shit! You’re Sirius Black!” James said. 

“Maybe don’t shout about it,” Sirius grimaced.

“I remember the custody battle,” James said. “Mate, it was everything everyone talked about. But why’re you here? Why isn’t the little one with you?”

“Mate, it says here ‘Regulus Black is now back in custody of Walburga and Orion Black’,” Pete said. 

“That’s bullshit,” James shouted. “Weren’t they terrible?”

“Yes, but I’m worse, so-” Sirius took the newspaper from Pete and put it in his pocket. “It’s better for him like this,”

Pete and James exchange glances and then sat down at the table with Sirius. Reminded him a bit about the therapy sessions the court ordered after the custody battle. 

“Sorry for being so intrusive,” James sighed. “I’m James Potter, and this is Peter Pettigrew. If you don’t have anywhere to go you could stay in our flat for a while,”

“James has a habit of taking strays, he got it from his parents,” Peter said. “His parents always took me in when my parents were too overbearing. Anyways, we’re used to having people stay at the flat. And we won’t ask questions, if you don’t want to,”

“Yes, exactly,” James said, and then he added. “We have spare room too, so you won’t have to share or anything,”

“Why are you offering this? You don’t know me. And I don’t know you. Maybe you just want some hot reward for me,” Sirius said. 

Peter laughed. “Yeah, you don’t know that. But do you seriously think there’s some kind of reward set for the one who finds you? This isn’t a western, and you’re barely even a criminal,”

Sirius ended up following them to James’ flat. On the way they talked a bit about their childhoods, James talking about his incredible mom and dad (who had passed away a year earlier) and Peter talking about his prejudiced parents. 

“Yeah, one time my dad beat my ass for telling him I wanted to grow out my hair,” Peter had joked when they got to the apartment building. 

“Oh, been there,” Sirius joked back, ignoring James’ concerned look.  

“But, you know, that’s all in the past,” Peter shrugged. “That’s kinda how we roll. If you can’t do anything about it, just move on,”

“That’s not very… punk of you,” Sirius said. He wasn’t that big on the scene, but he was pretty sure being punk was all about change and fighting for the poor. Usually that is something most people would consider something ‘you can’t do anything about’. 

“Oh, we still like to throw rocks at cops, if that’s what you mean,” James barked of laughter at his own joke. 

When they entered the flat, Sirius realised that James’ probably didn’t come from a working class family if they could afford this flat. When you walked in, you saw right to the kitchen and living room. It was a big open space, and on the right and left side, there were doors to other rooms. On the other side of the kitchen was another room, probably leading to another room. The bathroom door was open, so he saw it where it was placed kinda horizontally from where he stood. The apartment gave off the idea that it was round, with the kitchen/living room being the centre, with rooms surrounding it. 

“That’s where James lives,” Peter pointed to the room on their right. “With his girlfriend. She’s usually working, so you might not even meet her,”

“She’s amazing,” James promised Sirius. 

“She definitely is… something,” Peter said, but not with ill intent. It was clear to him that whoever this girlfriend was, she was an essential part to the flat. Perhaps Sirius had mistaken this trio for a duo. “And that’s my room,” Peter pointed to the room on the left. “You can stay there, there's room for you if you want, but I’d recommend sleeping in the room over there,” Peter pointed at the third room, on the other side of the flat. 

“Right,” Sirius said.

“Are you hungry?” James asked. “I mean, it’s not time for lunch just yet, but I can fix something really quick if you want to,”

“Yes, please,” Sirius said. “I’m starving,”

While James made lunch, Sirius told them a little about what had happened the previous night, but had to stop right before Alphard… died, in fear of throwing up just thinking too much about it. When he didn’t continue the story, Peter started talking about his and James’ lives. He talked about their relationship to the punk scene, and James had very interesting takes about the racism he had phased in the scene. 

“It’s so interesting, because it claims to be so inclusive and a rejection of everything society is, but if you even try to exist in those spaces as a non-white person, you very quickly realise that being punk doesn’t make you better or worse than any regular person,” James said. “Maybe that’s obvious to some people, but it was really disappointing learning about it first hand,”

“You’re from India, right?” Sirius asked. 

“Well, my grandparents were,” James said. “They were immigrants. But I’ve lived in London my entire life, so have both my parents. They’re both fully Indian, so am I. But I don’t speak hindi or any other language besides english,”

“Oh, that sounds awful,” Sirius said.

“Yeah, it is,” James sighed. “Anyways, the soup is done,”

James placed it on the table and then sat down. He quickly moved on from the heavy topic and soon it was forgotten by Sirius too. The three of them laughed and had a good time. The day went on and Sirius forgot that the other two were strangers to him. 

He went to sleep that night in the spare room Peter had shown him, and he continued to do that every night for a very long time. 

While staying at the potter-flat, he heard a lot of talk of Lily, James’ supposed girlfriend, but he never once met her. A lot of people also visited the flat looking specifically for her, but she was never there while they were looking. If not for this, Sirius started wondering if she was purposefully avoiding him. 

He asked James about it, but he looked awkwardly at him and said: “Look, she's really into auras and energies, so I don’t think it’s you exactly, but the flat as a whole. Maybe. I don’t know,”

Sirius asked Peter about it too, and he got a much shorter answer. “She just can’t be tied down to one place, don’t worry about it. She’ll be back in a few months,” He laughed. 

“So this is normal? Her just… disappearing?” Sirius asked. 

“Yeah, she’s a bit like that,” Peter said. “But James trusts her, so I do too,”

Sirius nodded, still confused. How were they just fine with Lily disappearing for months? Maybe she was made up and everyone was just pretending to make James happy? Sirius knew he certainly wouldn’t want James on his bad side, as athletic and tall as he was.

Maybe she was dead? The thoughts wandered as Sirius stayed at the flat. A lot of people came and went, but nobody stayed for as long as he did. Peter and James didn’t mind though, it was almost as if they were encouraging his stay. 

The nightmare continued. They didn’t get better when he one night heard someone walking around the flat with footsteps he didn’t recognise. He had memorised the sound of Peter’s and James’ footsteps, an old habit from when he was younger. It was crucial to know if it was Walburga or Orion walking up to his room. So he knew these footsteps weren’t either of the other people living in the flat. He would lie awake, imagining it was Walburga coming back to him. Or worse, it was the police breaking in to take him, because of what he had done to Alphard. This almost caused him to run away one night, but Peter caught him in the hallway. 

“You’re leaving?” Peter asked. 

“I-” Sirius said, not knowing what to say now that he was ambushed. “I’m scared that I might ruin things here,”

“Go back to sleep, Sirius,” Peter sighed, and he did.