But you would still miss me in your bones/No one saying “Stop that”
Sirius was disappointed in Regulus’ lack of energy. It was summer, almost 25 degrees outside, and all Regulus wanted to do was sit at home reading.
“C’mon,” Sirius said. “We don’t even have to go swimming. We can go clubbing if you want to,”
“What’s wrong with you?” Regulus said. “Clubbing? In this heat?”
Sirius sat down on the other end of the sofa. “Yeah, why not? I’m almost 18, which doesn’t really matter to be fair since we come from the richest family in all of London,”
Regulus didn’t even say anything, just shot him a judgemental stare and then started reading again.
“Okay, you’re right. It’s too hot to go out. Maybe tonight though,” Sirius said to himself. “But can’t we invite your friend over? What’s her name? The hippie looking one,”
“Pandora?” Regulus said.
“Yeah, why not?”
“No,” Regulus looked down at his book again. “You barely even know her. You’re just bored and don’t have any friends so you’re trying to take mine,”
“I have friends!” Sirius said.
“Freddie Mercury doesn’t count,”
“Whatever then,” Sirius got up from the sofa, letting out a dramatic sigh. “You hate me. I get it. I’ll just leave then,”
He started walking towards the hallway to the kitchen from the living room.
“Finally,” Regulus said.
“But I’ll have you know I don’t listen to Queen that much!”
“Yes you do,” Regulus muttered.
“Go to hell,” Sirius said as he walked up the stairs to his room.
As he entered his room he thought a bit about what Regulus said. Okay, maybe he didn’t have a best friend like Regulus did, but sometimes he talked to Mary, who’s in the same maths class as him. She’s the only one who doesn’t seem to be intimidated by him. He’s really not a big deal. Maybe a tiny bit. He was in the newspaper, to be honest. For his mother abusing him, sure, but who hasn’t been in the newspaper, really?
Sirius threw himself on the bed. Thank god Regulus said no to clubbing, it’s truly way too hot for dancing in a crowded room. Sirius was almost longing for autumn, as hot as this summer was being. It’s hard for him too, he can't tan. First of all, he’ll get red, and second of all, he has to keep that pale, vampire-esque look that everyone loves so much.
Or, maybe that’s his mother and her 1800s beauty ideals talking. Maybe he should tan. Is Freddie Mercury tan?
“Oh god,” Sirius groaned into the mattress. Regulus was right. Freddie Mercury was his only friend.
He slowly got up from the bed and then started walking downstairs. The tanning idea had been fetched into his mind by now. Maybe you’re supposed to do a spray tan? As Sirius was walking down the stairs he heard Alphard talking to someone on the phone in his office.
“I really don’t think it’s a good idea…” Alphard said. Sirius couldn’t hear the voice on the other side of the line. It was quiet and then he started talking again. “Yees, I suppose it has been a really long time… for all of us yes that’s true,”
The other person was talking again. They must have said something weird because Alphard crunched together his eyebrows like he does when he’s annoyed.
“I’m not sure if…” Alphard quickly looked out of his office to make sure nobody was listening, which Sirius of course was so he had to press his back against the wall. Luckily he was high enough up the stairs Alphard didn’t see him. “If the boys would like that,”
Sirius obviously reacted to this, since ‘the boys’ could not be anyone other than himself and Regulus.
The other line was talking again, and Alphard looked like he was deep enough in thought to make the rest of his hair go grey.
“The press won’t like it either, Walburga…”
This almost made Sirius shout out loud in shock. That was the name of his mother, but surely, Alphard couldn't be talking to her, could he? Would Alphard do that to him and Regulus? Surely he wouldn’t? Sirius probably misunderstood. Other people are called Walburga, right?
“You and Orion don’t have custody over them anymore, need i remind you?” The anger in Alphard’s voice made Sirius snap out of his thoughts. He realised that it definitely was about his parents.
Even if it has been four years, Sirius doesn’t know if he could survive seeing them again, not only was he and Regulus heavily abused when they lived with their parents, it’s also the trauma from the abuse being spread over the whole world. Every newspaper snapping up those photos of him and his mother, begging him for a statement, following him around asking questions. And then the whole trail too… He noticed his thoughts were spiralling out of control. Sirius tried to calm down and listen to the rest of the conversation, but he didn’t notice quite how loud his hyperventilating had become.
Alphard was standing at the bottom of the stairs, looking up at Sirius in the middle of a panic attack, with those grey eyes he knew so well. The eyes he saw when he looked at Regulus, and the eyes he saw when he looked in the mirror.
“Sirius,” Alphard’s voice was comforting enough, but when he sat down next to Sirius was when he could finally calm down. Sirius rested his head on Alphard’s shoulder. “I’m sorry you had to hear that,”
“Would you really do that? Invite…” He didn’t even want to finish the sentence. “Invite them over?”
“They really want to meet you and Regulus again,” Alphard said. “And remember, the court made the go through almost as much therapy as you did,”
“What if they haven’t changed?” Sirius said.
“Then I will admit my mistake and they will never be welcome here again,” Alphard put his arm around Sirius in a shoulder hug. “It’s just for dinner,”
“You have to ask Regulus though,”
“Of course I will. I just hope he has to find out a bit better than you had to,” Alphard laughs a little.
The two of them stand up together, Sirius feeling a little less nauseous now. Alphard did have a point in the whole therapy thing, and if they managed to convince Alphard, they must have really changed. And, he is going to have to see his parents some day, right? He’s not going to be able to avoid them forever. But at the end of the day it really comes down to if Regulus wants to or not.
Alphard and Sirius walk into the living room together to see Regulus still lying on the couch reading the same book as he was before. He perks up when Alphard clears his throat.
“Regulus, I have a proposition for you,” Alphard glances at Sirius quickly. “Sirius has already agreed to this, but we wanted your opinion on it too, of course,”
“Spit it out,” Regulus rolls his eyes.
“Well,” Alphard glances at Sirius once again. “Your… eh… Mother called this morning-”
“What!? Are you serious?” Regulus immediately stood up. “What did she want?”
“Well, she and Orion want to… meet the two of you for dinner again,” Alphard says. “And as I said, Sirius already agreed so I think you should give the thought a chance-”
“What is wrong with you?” Regulus immediately glared at Sirius and the grey eyes that were so familiar were now almost black with anger. “Are you some kind of masochist? Why would you want to let them into our safe space? After we fought so hard to get them out of our lives? Do you not recall the years of therapy we needed after that fucking trial-”
“Regulus, watch your language,” Alphard said. “You have the right to say no of course, but I wanted to say that Walburga and Orion are still your parents and they too have worked on their issues. I can surely say that they have changed and have good intentions,” Alphard once again looked at Sirius before he said: “The press will not find out,”
Regulus scoffed and Sirius decided that he needed to talk to Regulus alone. “Alphard, can you leave?”
“Oh, of course,” Alphard walked back into his office and closed the door.
“How could you even consider-” Regulus started, but Sirius quickly cut him off.
“Reggie, everything is not so black and white. The trial ordered therapy for them too, they might just want to apologise,” Sirius said. “Nobody is forcing us to live with them again,”
“I hope not,” Regulus said. He didn’t look as sure as he was before. “But what if they haven’t changed?”
“If they managed to convince Alphard they must’ve. And I trust Alphard, don’t you?” Sirius said, putting his hand on Regulus' shoulder.
“I trust him,” Regulus said. “I do, I just don’t trust them,”
“Let’s try at least? We can’t avoid them forever, you know that, right?” Sirius said.
“Yeah, whatever,” Regulus rolled his eyes again, but he didn’t look annoyed anymore. Sirius ruffled Regulus’ curly black hair, which made Regulus kick him in the shins.
Laughing the pain of the kick off, Sirius realised wasn’t sure if inviting them over was even what he wanted. But he trusted Alphard, because Alphard had been making the right decisions ever since he and Regulus moved in with him. But Walburga and Orion were still his parents and even if it was a small part of him, that part was hoping that they had truly changed.