Good morning sweetheart

James had managed to pull their well-loved record player out of their dorm room without dropping it, which was impressive all by itself. The only issue now was for James and Sirius to find out which Bowie song they were going to use to culturally educate the half scared first years.

It was a cloudy and cold December day, snow falling outside the big window, making them all huddle together in the common room; blankets and pillows stacked around them as if it would ward of the cold. None of them had had the brains to cast a warmth charm yet, making them all rely on the shivering flame in the bricked fireplace. The big group had managed to occupy the couches yet again, and they had all scattered around the space, chatting about everything and nothing simultaneously.

Until just a few moments ago, James had been tucked nicely away into his boyfriend’s arms before Sirius ultimately pulled him from the comfortable cuddle. Remus had snorted a laugh when Sirius had pulled him up from the couch by his shirts collar, halfheartedly saying, “Ew James, that’s my baby brother.” It was expected now that every time Regulus and James were in close vicinity of one another, Sirius would appear out of nowhere and steal one of them away. Remus couldn’t really tell if Sirius was actually bothered by the relationship or not, but he seemed to at least have fun torturing James because of it. Maybe he was just angry that his little brother had gotten into a long-term serious relationship before him.

James and Regulus had managed to mix their two friend groups together somewhere in Remus’ sixth year. Now, a whole year later, he had one of boyfriends in his lap, sitting in the Gryffindor common room, while their other boyfriend was playing chess with Peter on the floor. Evan was the only person except Lonnie Branham in Ravenclaw that had actually beat Peter in chess; he was now trying to avenge his pride and beat Rosier. Remus slowly ran his hand through Barty’s straight, dark brown hair; his book charmed to float over him so that he could read without disturbing Barty’s nap. He was snuggled up in Moony’s lap, love staring at Evan’s frowning face, his blonde hair falling into his face, as Peter brutally killed his queen with an unforeseen move. Although Remus was trying to read and look at both of his boyfriends at the same time, he didn’t seem to be able to do any of those things, for his eyes were glued to Sirius’ ass. Who let him look that good in pajama bottoms? The loose pink plaid hung loosely on Sirius’ hips, the string not having been tied. Even though Sirius constantly complained about his feet being cold, he wore no socks, walking barefoot around on the old carpet swearing in French at James, saying things that made Regulus snort a laugh. It was truly mesmerizing watching Sirius in all his glory. Remus hadn’t turned a page for about twenty minutes, and Barty finally seemed to notice.

“Rem” He said looking up from under the book. “Hm, what love?” Remus’ eyes were still transfixed on Sirius, seemingly very obvious from Barty’s perspective. “If you’re checking him out, we could move closer, you know.”

“Fuck off” He said sweetly as Barty laughed at his own comment. Remus drew his eyes away from Sirius to find Barty grinning up at him, raising an eyebrow mockingly; he smiled back. Moony pining after Sirius had been going on for literal years; his crush starting to develop in fifth year. When he realized what was happening Remus had tried to suppress it as best as he could and was successful until Sirius seemingly had another sudden growth spurt over the summer. Remus had walked into their compartment on the Hogwarts express, expecting to see the same friends he left with in July. When seeing the embodiment of a Greek god sitting in his usual spot chatting to James, Remus had melted into his seat staring at Padfoot who was splayed out opposite him.

Moony, mate, you good?”Peter had said looking at Remus’ pale expression. Remus had fumbled with his words, but when Sirius smiled at him, his butterflies spoke where his brain failed, “Yeah, never been better.” He said, not being able to pull his amber eyes away from his best friend and roommate. As the train ride went on, and Sirius pearly white smile lit up Remus’ world, he thought ‘this is going to be a long year’; and that it had been.

While Sirius and James kept on arguing, Barty laughed lovingly at Remus after he reddened when Sirius ran his hand through his hair, making his purple sweater pull up and his toned stomach exposing from under the soft fabric. His pale skin shone against the dark jumper, and Remus was yet again transfixed. With a short laugh, Barty pulled down Remus’ book from the air, taking away his way of admiring Sirius’ beautiful figure going unnoticed. “Hey! I was reading that.” Remus protested, to which Barty smiled at him and said, “No you weren’t.”

Barty snuggled closer to Remus and pulled the blanket closer up to his chin. James finally sat down next to Regulus with a frown on his face; Sirius seemed to have won their little Bowie argument. Remus looked over at Sirius, and his heart was suddenly caught in his throat. He had the usual Sirius grin plastered on his face, while dancing to a Bowie favorite, Starman. While Sirius danced around, something about his sweater seemed familiar. The yellow floral embroidery on the knitted jumper, and the light blue hem, made Sirius look much softer than he usually prided himself on being. Remus stared at his friend, belting to Bowie, in pink pajama bottoms and a knitted wool jumper, when with a flutter of all the butterflies in his stomach, he realized that the jumper Sirius was wearing looked suspiciously like one of Remus’ own.  He felt his face warm, quickly making him try to bury his face in Barty’s hair, to no avail.

Sirius was truly mesmerizing. The black, curly, carefully styled hair, paired with an Adonis figured body, he was an actual Greek god in Remus’ mind. Sirius was lanky, but not in the same way Remus was. While he seemed to have grown too big for his own body to fill out, Sirius had formed into this athletic ideal, making him shine with earned confidence. But who could blame him; he was perfect. The black family cheekbones, and inbred genes apparently made all heads turn, and Remus was not immune to their beautiful magic. Sirius had always thrived in the stares and compliments; he knew he was the most handsome person at Hogwarts. Every Valentine’s Day since first year, he had had countless cards, flowers, chocolates and invitations, but never once had he accepted. He gave the chocolates to Moony, and the flowers he levitated above Peters bed, it was Valentine’s ritual. Remus laid thinking about his apparent crush when Evan turned around and snorted a quiet laugh at his expression. “Barty, why is Remus redder than his fucking tie?” Evan said from the floor a few feet away. Right behind him Peter was sitting with a defeated look on his face, his king seemingly shattered in a hundred pieces right in front of him. Remus had always thought wizarding chess to be a bit barbaric but having been in the restricted section of the library enough times, he could probably come up with worse things. Barty answered Evans question from tucked away against Remus chest, nuzzled into the patterned jumper, “Don’t know, Sirius probably took his shirt off.” Barty said from his comfortable position. Evan snorted and turned back to setting up the chessboard for another rematch against Peter. Remus gave Barty a light slap on the top of his head in an effort to make him shut up, but Barty just laughed into his chest. He looked up from his boyfriends grinning face to see if Sirius had heard their remarks. Luckily, it didn’t seem like he had, or if he actually had heard something, he didn’t seem faced by it at all.

Remus wondered how it had gotten to this point. He hadn’t thought about Sirius as anything other than a friend for their entire time together at school, then suddenly, sometime in fifth year, he found himself blushing when Padfoot smiled at him. That had escalated to the current pining everyone, but Sirius and James seemed to have picked up on. Lily realized almost before Remus did, comforting Remus when Sirius went on yet another date, or rumors spread that he had slept with yet another girl. Sirius never talked about his romantic shenanigans to the Marauders, if it was too private for him, Remus did not know, but it stung every time a girl gave a little bit too much attention to Sirius. Remus started dating his partners in sixth year; by then the two had been hitting on him for literal months. Remus wished he could be able to take a picture of their faces when he said yes to their date proposal. Remus brought them to Hogsmeade one weekend, and the next thing he knew he had been dating them for a bit over a year.

Remus had thought that his crush on Sirius would go away after he got into a relationship, but it just seemed to grow until it was almost unbearable. Sometime in October he had broke and told them everything. He had been scared they would never want to see him again, when his worries were eased, and they said they trusted him enough to let him go after Sirius. They had been a pain in the ass since then, with trying to set the two up.

The cold Saturday evening went by in a blur: Peter won the new chess match, much to Evans disappointment, Sirius gave James a hit over the head when he and Regulus started snogging under the big blanket. After a while Lily and Mary came down from their dorm and joined them on the couch, laughing as Sirius chased James around the room.  As the evening dragged on, Pandora and Dorcas came in through the portrait; much to a fourth year’s confusion. Sirius unexpectedly pulled Remus up from the comfortable seats and danced around with him, hand on Remus’ hips; later, Barty had to blow him in the bathroom after his sudden Sirius induced boner. James and Regulus snuck up to their dorm room, quickly followed by Sirius’ screech after he realized they were gone, and then again when he realized James locked the door. He had smiled to himself when Sirius had come down to only get right back up when they heard a bang against the door. “James, don’t you dare fuck my brother against our bedroom door!” Lily and Mary laughed at Sirius yet again, while he was trying to open the door to his own dorm room, as they went off to bed. Peter went off, saying he had to do something with some girl none of them knew. As people kept on going off to bed, Remus suddenly found himself alone in the common room with just him and his two boyfriends.

Remus looked up from his book, which he had picked up again after getting back from the bathroom, only to find Evan and Barty sitting nuzzled together on the Gryffindor couch looking knowingly up at him. “What?” He asked, when Evan raised an eyebrow at him and smirked. Remus was still blushing after the dancing, putting in all his effort to get the redness out of his face. “Just ask him out already.” Evan said in the most casual voice you had ever heard. Barty snorted a laugh, and nodded as Remus went from tomato to cherry red. “What, no, you know I can’t. I’m just a friend to him.” Remus wondered why he was getting defensive; Evan and Barty knew almost more about him than the marauders.

“Friend as in: madly in love with you?” Evan smirked from up his spot on the couch, as Barty made Remus blush even harder from pure embarrassment. Remus had never been easily flustered, but then, suddenly, almost everything Evan and Barty said made him glow as red as Rudolph’s nose; he felt like a crushing schoolgirl, which some part of his soul probably was, but he used to be able to control it. When Remus started dating the couple, he had been the one to fluster them day in and day out, something he still made sure to do on a daily basis, but now he had suddenly gone victim to the rosy cheeks too.

“No, he doesn’t like me like that.” A beat of silence, “As I’ve said before, he’s straight.” The words slipped from Remus’ mouth before he could catch them. Of course, Remus knew Sirius might not be the straightest of the bunch; he wore a dress to the yule ball for fucks sake. Even a stranger could just look at Sirius and say he was probably a fruit, but Sirius had never explicitly stated anything else than an overwhelming heterosexuality. Maybe the dress was just a fashion statement. Remus had used the shield that Sirius could never like him because of his straightness for so long that it was wired into his brain: if Sirius only liked girls, it would mean there was nothing wrong with Remus if he Sirius rejected him, he would just be a dude instead of a chick. But if Sirius did prefer men, and he said “no”, then Remus would never be able to pick up all the pieces of his broken heart. Sirius would never like him like that, they were just too platonic.

“And as I’ve said before: Sirius? Straight? No, way.” Evan said tiredly, shooting Remus an irritated glance. He tried to protest, but Evan held up a finger to silence him. “Remus listen to yourself. Sirius has literally had ‘fag’ written on his forehead.” Barty stated from Evans lap. “To be fair, that was a hate crime.” Remus chimed in.

Once in fourth year, some Slytherins had decided that Sirius Black was too ‘feminine’ for Hogwarts. They had jumped him, and when James and Remus had come to his defense, they had hexed his forehead. McGonagall managed to countercharm it away an hour later, but the damage was already done. Sirius was the Hogwarts ‘fag’ for two months, the name thankfully swept away with time.

“But true none the less.” Evan winked at Remus, something even in this context, made him weak in the knees. “No, if he was gay, he would have said something by now. We’re never going to happen, and after all I have you two.” Remus tried a charming smile, but it didn’t seem to work as Barty furrowed his brows together, and Evan quietly snorted into his hand. “Oh, fuck off Remus. You fancy him, he fancies you, go up to him and get on your knees, it’s that simple.”

“Who’re Moony going down on now?” Sirius said coming down the stairs, looking oddly pleased with himself. Remus froze up, thinking he had heard Remus’ half confession, until he saw James following right after him with light blue spots covering every inch of his skin, looking a bit disheveled. It seemed like Sirius had gotten the door to open after all, and hexed James. Well, well.

“Wouldn’t you like to know.” Evan said sarcastically, laughing until he got the death stare from Remus, with his eyes clearly saying: I will end you. Regulus came down the stairs, looking like his pride might be a bit hurt, but probably not as much as James’. Then again, James looked pleased that he had gotten to at least get some time alone with his boyfriend. Evan pushed Barty up from the couch and followed after. “Well, we’re off, have to get our little whore off to bed now.” Evan said sweetly as he smiled sarcastically at Regulus. “Fuck you, Rosier.” Regulus said just as sweetly back. They left with Barty charming flying hearts to levitate around Reggie’s head, and him shoving Jr. into a laughing Evan. They were all quite endearing really.

James went off to their dorm when his boyfriend left, saying he had homework to do, but in reality, they all knew he would be throwing his customized, bright red quaffle that he got for Christmas last year, against the wall opposite his bed. Remus could not count the number of times some tired girl had showed up at their bedroom door, furiously demanding “whoever’s making that bloody irritating noise to please fuck right off” at all hours of the day. As he walked up the stairs, Remus could see James’ dark skin was even more colorfully spotted on his back. Even his usually dark brown curls were painted a beautifully pastel blue, almost as if the summer sky was pictured on the back of his head.

“Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd or Bowie?” Sirius suddenly said from beside the heavy record player. He was turned away from Remus, scanning trough their options on the table. While looking through the different albums, he haphazardly put his hair into a messy bun. Even with his back halfway turned to Remus, he could still see the way Sirius held his hair tie between his teeth while he lazily collected all the loose strands of hair on the back of his head; Remus almost melted into the couch just from the sight alone. How did this dude manage to look so perfect and effortless all the time? Of course, Remus had seen his morning face, and how he looked before their O.W.L.S. but even then, he was elegant. Even with all their years at Hogwarts, being ‘corrupted’ by time, the Black brothers still had this straightness to their spines, and this way of walking, talking, and doing literally anything, that neither of them could shake off. Sirius could be taking the biggest shit of his life and still look as if he was ready to meet the queen of England.

“Bowie obviously.” Remus smiled up at him from the couch as Sirius turned around, winking when Sirius laughed at his answer; Sirius smiled back, “Then Bowie it is.” He turned around again and searched through the records on the table as he hummed a rhythm, Diamond dogs soon played over the charmed speaker. Sirius plopped down beside Remus, making him scream internally as Sirius snuggled up close to him, pulling a blanket over them both. Remus honestly didn’t remember when his crush had gotten to the extent that their usual hugs and embraces made him blush and feel warm all over. After a while he turned to smugness and jokes, their lifelong dynamic. “You do realize we have the whole couch, and four chairs too choose from, right? You don’t have to use me as your personal pillow.” Remus laughed as he sunk deeper into Sirius’ embrace. “Yes, but you’re warm, and I’m cold, so shut up.” Remus had realized the winter of first year that Sirius was chronically cold. It was as if his blood was always freezing in his veins, sometimes making him appear a bit blue and fragile; Remus had made sure to keep him warm ever since then. “Touché.”

When they were young, they had often found themselves touching without realizing it, it had become so normalized over the years that no one bat an eye anymore; they usually hung off each other like some sort of living jewelry. After Evan, Barty and Remus started dating, they had told him they thought Sirius and he were in a relationship, to which Remus laughed in their faces. “Me and Sirius? No, he’s straight”

“I have seen him kiss a bloke, Remus.” Evan had said carefully, as if Remus would get hurt from his words. Maybe it had been to soften the questions suddenly filling Remus’ mind. “It must have been a very feminine bloke…and Sirius was probably drunk” Remus had denied it then, just as he denied it again and again and again, as if the puzzle pieces could not click in his mind. He had denied it when Marls and Padfoot changed uniforms and he rocked a skirt for a week, in Remus’ mind he had just been a bloody outspoken feminist for their times; nothing queer to see here. Marlene came out as a lesbian three months after the uniform incident.

They sat in silence as the heavy snow fell to the ground outside the big window; the night dragging on as they watched the fireplace burn with lively orange and yellow flames, warming the beloved Gryffindor common room. The fourth years had put up a mini Christmas tree in the corner; the ornaments now shining with love and expectations for the festivities coming up.

Remus had never been a fan of Christmas through his childhood; his mother and father never letting go of an opportunity to yell at each other, and everyone around them. The first time he decided to stay at Hogwarts for Christmas was third year, back then he was the only Gryffindor to do so. Sirius had gone to the Potters that year, and everyone else seemed to have loving families to go home to. After that he kept on celebrating at Hogwarts, alone, until sixth year when he was invited to the Potter’s, and Euphemia’s mint pies became something he would never forget. This year, the Potters were going to visit James’ grandparents in India, meaning another Hogwarts celebration for Remus, and this year, Sirius too. For maybe the second time in his life, Remus was actually semi looking forward to Christmas. Two weeks alone with Sirius seemed a bit terrifying, but then he could pine after him in peace, without his boyfriends giving him comments from the sidelines. It would be just him and Sirius; two weeks of couch cuddles and Bowie, what could go wrong?

As the clock ticked on the wall, the clouds cleared, and the starry night shone through the beautiful window onto the burgundy couch the two boys laid on. Sirius’ star was visible from where they sat, to which Remus smiled and laid his head on top of his friend’s. Sirius hummed into the further embrace and snuggled closer to Remus’ chest.

Remus had managed to get his book to levitate again, finding himself in the same position he had been in with Barty just a few hours ago. His fingers carefully combed Sirius’ silky curls, as the pages turned above his head. Remus liked this side of Sirius; so peaceful, not like his usually loud and extravagant self, he just seemed content with his position. It was in times like this when Remus seemed to understand why Sirius’ Animagus form was a dog: while scratching his scalp, Remus seemed to find a particularly good spot, making Sirius sink into him even more and humming, “Merlin, I love you Moony.” Remus tried not to freeze up as the words repeated themselves again and again in his brain. Had Sirius actually meant it?

You never knew with Sirius; the man flirted with everybody and everything, making Remus question if he had ever confessed anything to Remus, for him to just sweep it under the rug as another joke. He had always been extra flirty with Remus, but it had been going on for so long that Remus was almost unphased by it at this point.

“Remus, he is literally flirting with you” Barty had said, after Sirius called Remus “unreasonably sexy” in the hallway when his tie was loose around his neck, and Remus just gave him the sarcastic smile and middle finger, then just walked on. This was fifteen minutes after having a literal breakdown in front of Barty because he thought he could never get a chance with Sirius. “That’s just his personality Barty” Remus had said when he ran to catch up with his weirdly long steps. Remus had never seen anyone look so done before. Barty had just stood there pinching his nose bridge muttering “you are unbelievable.”  

“I love you too Pads.” He said jokingly, hoping that his longing for those words to mean more than they did would not be evident in his tone.

After a while, he noticed the way Sirius’ breath slowed down, and how he seemed to go limp on top of Remus’ chest. As carefully as he could, he put his book down and pulled the heavy wool blanket away from Sirius’ sleeping body. Shifting slowly, Remus picked up his friend, and carried him up the stairs to their shared dorm room, walking as lightly as he could, trying not to wake the boy in his arms. It should have been way too heavy for lanky Remus to carry his fully grown friend up the stairs, but Remus was much stronger than he looked, and Sirius had always been a bit underweight.

Remus opened the door with his foot and carefully stepped into the unlit room. James was seemingly passed out on his bed, quaffle in hand and his glasses fallen down onto his chin. He was drooling a bit on his sleeve which was tucked in under his head. After putting Sirius down on his unmade bed, Remus went quietly over to James’ side and pulled the duvet over his sleeping body so he wouldn’t freeze through the night. As he pulled the glasses off his chin, James snored loudly and turned in his sleep, making Remus take a quiet step back before he neatly put them on their usual spot on the messy bedside table.

Walking over to Sirius’ side again, he noticed how his beautiful face dented the red pillow, and how his quiet snores echoed through the dorm room. Those sounds had turned into the thing that made Remus feel safe around the full moon; knowing his friends were just a few feet away.

Taking off Sirius’ jumper while trying not to wake him, Remus realized it indeed was one of Remus’ own; that jumper stealing fucker. It was common practice to borrow Remus’ jumper, hell, half the tower wore them from time to time, but Sirius had this habit of taking the ones that Remus had almost forgotten about, until he suddenly saw the pattern walking past him in the hallway on a random Sunday morning before breakfast.

Remus fell asleep half an hour later, listening to the quiet rise and fall of Sirius’ breath from the other side of the room, thinking about the Bowie song Sirius had picked after his quarrel with James, knowing it was Remus’ favorite.