It was almost midnight. Harry crept to the bedroom door of his Dad. Severus Snape, potions master at Hogwarts, had adopted him at the beginning of summer break. Since the start of term Harry was allowed to sleep in a room in his Dad's quarters instead of the dorms in Slytherin. Now he was standing in front of Severus' room. His palms were sweating and his heart was racing. Harry tentatively knocked on the spruce wood door. He heard some rustling and after what felt like an eternity, Severus opened. He was wearing black silk pyjamas and a black dressing gown.
"Harry, is everything okay?", Severus asked with a yawn. Harry mumbled something. "Dear, can you speak up?", the older man asked gently. Harry took a deep breath. "Can-can I talk to you about something, Dad?", he asked. Severus looked at his son. "It's midnight, Harry, and you have school tomorrow. Can it wait or is it urgent?", the potions master asked and suppressed a yawn. Harry made some undefined noises and made an indecisive face. Something was bothering him so much that he wouldn't be able to sleep anyway, so Severus just gently grabbed him by the shoulder and maneuvered Harry into the room. "Hop in the bed and make yourself comfortable", he softly said and followed Harry.
The boy layed down and took another deep breath. His Dad's blanket was still warm and Harry inhaled the comforting scent of sandalwood and star anise his Dad gave off. Every cell in him was nervous. "What do want to talk about, Harry?", Severus asked and started lightly stroking Harry's arm. The young Slytherin opened his mouth. "I... I don't really know were to start. No... how to start. I'm so scared that you might stop loving me...", he started and tears formed in the emerald eyes. "Harry, dear, nothing you do or want to do could make me stop loving you", Severus quickly reassured his son and wiped away a few stray tears, "take your time, Harry, if need be we both take the day off tomorrow." Harry nodded and before his courage completely left him, he very quickly said: "Iwanttoweardiapers..."
Severus raised one eyebrow. "Can you repeat that please?", he chuckled. Harry unwillingly let a small smile cross his face. Now that he had said it one time, he could do it again. "I... I want to wear diapers. Not always, just... I'm so stressed with everything that's going on and I'm trying to find some comfort. I mean... I know that you can give me hugs and comfort and everything, but I feel like I'm missing something different, something I can't quite name. Deep, deep in me. I don't want to be a baby, I just...", he trailed of and anxiously looked at Severus. The man pulled his son into a tight hug and finally, Harry let out the tears. he felt ashamed, relieved, anxious, overwhelmed. "Sshh, it's okay, sweetheart, calm down", Severus whispered. After a few minutes, Harry's breathing slowed down and the tears ran dry. He pulled away from Severus. "Do you still like me?", Harry choked out. "Of course I do, why wouldn't I? You are still my son, you're still the same person. I feel honored that you trust me with something like this. Harry, dear, let's talk about it tomorrow, we'll take the day off. Alright?", Severus said. He didn't want to show his son that he was a bit overwhelmed himself. Of all the things his son could've told him, wanting to wear diapers wasn't something he expected. Of course he had no problem with it, but Severus did have to think about it. It wasn't common for 14-year-olds to wear diapers, but he would always support his son in every way possible.
"Can I sleep here?", he got pulled out of his thoughts. "You can, my son", Severus answered and pulled Harry into a comforting embrace. The boy quickly fell asleep and unconciously snuggled closer to his Dad, searching for his strong arms to hold him and protect him. A small smile graced Severus' face as he closed his eyes.
#
The next day the small family didn't go to the Great Hall for breakfast. Severus had informed the headmaster that he and Harry would need a day off because of a private matter, and since it was Thursday, Dumbledore had allowed them to take the rest of the week off (his eyes were twinkling so much Severus felt like he was being attacked by paparazzi).
"Can you pass me the raspberries?", Harry asked and prepared his oatmeal with the fruit. Severus sipped on his coffee. "What do you think about going for a walk after breakfast and we talk about the night?", he asked Harry and took a bite of his avocado toast. "Yeah, that... is an idea", Harry answered. He still didn't feel comfortable actually talking about what he wanted. Breakfast went by pretty quick and in no time father and son were walking side by side over the Hogwarts grounds. "Well... how about we start? I ask a question and you answer if you feel comfortable enough", Severus offered and Harry nodded. "Okay", he verbalized and Severus asked the first question: "When do you plan on wearing a diaper?" Harry blushed involuntarily. "I don't really know. Not always. I mean... I'm really stressed, but I don't feel comfortable wearing a diaper when I'm with my friends. But if it's alright with you I'd wear them at night and if I need it on weekends, too", he anwered honestly. "Of course it is alright with me. Do you want to use them?", Severus asked carefully. "Only pee. I'm disgusted by the fecal matter. Pee won't smell too much if I drink enough", Harry reasoned and Severus agreed. "I will help you clean yourself, if you need me, understood? I will always take care of you. I have one last question. Remember, you don't have to answer. How did you find out? What helped you figure out what you need?"
Silence followed that question. The two Slytherins were walking through the Forbidden Forest, Harry searching for words and Severus waiting patiently. After a long time, Harry finally found the right words and said. "The first night back at Hogwarts after break, I ran into Weasley on my way to the bathroom. His brothers had transfigured his tie in a way that every time he touched it, the tie would bite his fingers so I helped him. Afterwards I just forgot I had to go, so we walked to the Great Hall and I sat down with Draco and the others. I drank pumpkin juice and started to feel more pressure on my bladder, but at the same time the sudden thought about how it would feel if I wet my pants crossed my mind. At first I was disgusted, but when I was in my room later, I just... I just did it. It felt amazing. Like everything that stressed me out just disappeared. I started crying from that feeling, it was so good. It felt in no way sexual. I just felt... secure. If I say it out loud it sounds strange. It doesn't really make sense. The cleaning was unpleasent and I kind of felt like I needed help with something. Not exactly the cleaning, but... I don't know. Anyway, I thought about how diapers would feel. Much more secure and protected. And then I felt this longing. And it ate me from inside. And sometimes everything is just to much" Harry had stopped walking. Tears were rolling down his cheeks. Big crocodile tears.
Severus had listened to his child. Even though he wasn't his biological father, his Dad instinct kicked in and Severus tightly wrapped his son in a tight hug, trying to hold him as close as he could. "It's okay, you can cry, let it all out. Listen, sweetheart. What you feel isn't wrong. It isn't weird. I can't say I understand you, I don't feel the same way, but I will take care of you. We have the next days all for ourselves. What do you say we just find out what feels and works best for you?", he whispered gently to his son. Harry felt a fresh wave of tears escape his eyes, but he nodded gratefully. "And you are not disgusted? You'll still help me?", the young boy sobbed quietly. "I promise. I've handled much worse things in my lifetime as a potions master, a bit of pee from my son is the least disgusting thing I can think of. Now, let's head back, it's time for lunch", Severus chuckled.
During lunch, someone knocked on the door and Severus got up to open. "Draco, hello", he greeted his godson. "Hello Sev, I'm just here to bring him his notes and ask how he is", the blonde answered. Harry, upon hearing the voice of his best friend, came to the door. "Hey, Draco, I'm good. I'm just... dealing with something I wish not to discuss, it's really private. Thank you for taking notes for me", Harry reassured his friend. Draco squeezed his shoulder and smiled at him. "Alright, if there is anything I can do for you, just tell me", Draco said and walked away. Harry waved and joined Severus, who had gone back to the table.
The afternoon went by quickly, with some reading and some more talking. During dinner, Severus watched his son. He looked like he wanted to say something, but wasn't sure how to say it. "Harry, dear", Severus started, "why don't we try out how a diaper feels for you", he asked. Harry's face lit up. They went to the teen's bedroom with a few napkins.
"Do you know how to transfigure napkins into diapers?", Harry asked curiously as he sat down on the bed. Severus nodded. "I had to watch Draco sometimes when he was younger and I was paranoid I'd run out of diapers for him, so I learned how to transfigure napkins. Just in case...", Severus confessed, which eased a small laugh out of Harry. "I just need to take your measurements", the man explained what he was about to do and took out his wand. After measuring Harrys's waist he transfigured the napkin. "Can I touch it first?", the black haired boy nervously asked and wordlessly Severus handed over the white diaper. "Wow", Harry whispered, "it is so soft. And it smells safe." He passed the diaper back to his Dad. "Alright, are you ready? Actually, are you okay with me seeing you naked and wiping you down there? I know how it feels to be a teenager and I don't want you feeling like I'm forcing myself onto you", Severus made sure, but Harry nodded. "Yes", he declared. "You are my Dad. I know you wouldn't do anything I don't want to. I can trust you to stop when I say so. Besides, we basically look the same, speaking of anatomy, so nothing I have to be ashamed about", Harry giggled and Severus smiled. "Well then, take of your pants whenever you are ready. Do you want this to be special or do you want me to talk to you about something completely unrelated", the man wanted to know, but he could see that his son wanted to fully take in this experience.
Harry's hands were shaking lightly as he opened his buckle and stepped out of his pants and underwear. It didn't feel weird to be half-naked in front of his father, it felt in a comforting way intimate and protected. Harry knew that his Dad would protect him, no matter what. Even though the man had only adopted him only a few months ago, he knew that Severus loved him. "Lay down, sweetheart, and lift up your butt", Severus said and Harry followed his words. Severus put the diaper under Harry. "I'll wipe you clean now", he explained, conjured up a bowl with warm water and a cloth and started cleaning Harry's private area. He let it dry a bit and sprinkled some powder over Harry's lower area. Luckily, Severus remembered how to tape up a diaper. "All finished - Harry, darling, why the tears?", he gently asked after seeing his son crying. "I-I just f-feel so-o protected and safe and I don't know", Harry sobbed. Severus vanished the cleaning supplies and layed down next to the smaller boy. He pulled him into a hug. "I understand that you feel overwhelmed. Do you want me to help or just stay with you", he asked his son, trying to give him an easy decision. "I just want you here", came the answer. So father and son just stayed in bed, Harry consuming the comfort radiating from his father.
#
Severus opened his eyes. I must've fallen asleep, he thought. Next to him, his son shifted in his sleep and slowly opened his eyes too. "Hey, sweetheart, are you okay?", Severus whispered. Harry nodded and mumbled: "I just need to use the bathroom." The boy sighed and furrowed his brows. "I can't go, it's so unfamiliar letting go when you're in bed", he huffed. Severus nodded, but instead of telling Harry to just go to the toilet, he gently pressed his son down on the bed and started massaging his lower abdomen, putting pressure on the boy's bladder. "Try to relax and breath deeply and evenly", Severus instructed. After a while, Harry smiled and fully relaxed, one hand sneaking under the blanket to feel his diaper.
The warmth and the feeling to just let go was overwhelming in a good kind of way. Harry wasn't embarrassed. Not by the fact that he was a 14-year-old boy wearing and using a diaper in bed, and not by the fact, that his father was right next to him. If anything, he felt safe. Safe, comforted, loved and cared for. Nothing could happen, his Dad would take care of him, he would help him clean up. Severus would give him another diaper, he would make sure Harry was comfortable. He would give Harry tight hugs, reassuring words and comfort.
And finally, Harry could feel like "Just Harry".