Mary
She didn’t understand how everyone could be so happy that they had won the war, the excited articles in the daily prophet announcing their victory over Voldermort felt so incredibly out of place in Mary’s own mangled life, or what was left of it. Truth was Mary didn’t have a life left in the wizarding world in 1981, all she had was a handful of ex Army members who might add her to their Christmas card list, a lousy startup position at the ministry, at least 10 gravestone sights she had memorised and a now reclusive roommate. And she didn’t even want to think about Sirius.
So she left.
Mary packed the last 10 years of her life Into a trunk and left the run down London apartment she and Remus had been sharing, stopping briefly to give him a kiss on the cheek and her best wishes. Then she went home, locked her wand away and tried to move on with her life. It took time but she made it work, her father helped her into a journalism position her mother introduced her to the son of one of her church friends. She settled down, something teenage Mary would’ve blown up at her over, but she wasn’t teenage Mary anymore and she had been broken to many times to care what teenage Mary thought about the new plain 20 something year old Mary. Time moved on in late 1997 she and her now husband Georgie had their first child, a little girl Mary called Darlene, her second daughter Millie soon followed, Mary couldn’t help think about the year they would’ve started hogwarts if she hadn’t made a vow to never tell them about the wizarding world. (September 1998 and 2000 respectively)
Halfway through 1991 a letter from remus showed up in her kitchen window, god knows how he ever found out where she lived but she never got the chance to ask. The letter consisted of him half pleading half asking her to meet him for coffee something Mary willingly agreed to on the condition that it was a muggle coffee shop. They got to speaking, it was mostly just Mary filling in Remus on the last 10 years of her life and Remus trying to downplay the colossal shitshow that was his, about an hour in Remus made an offhand comment about how Harry should be starting school that September, the closest either of them got to talking about their unique shared grief.
Letters and coffee shop visits became more frequent until July 1993 when Remus broke the news to Mary that he had been asked to teach defence against the dark arts at hogwarts, Mary was thrilled at the idea of him having a steady job but Remus seemed much more apprehensive.
“Wouldn’t it be good to have some steady income and a stable job though?” Mary reasoned.
“I suppose… but snape teaches potions there… I wouldn’t want him saying anything” Remus replied, in thought.
“Really, snape teaches there?” Mary asked
“Yeah”. They both pause for a moment before Remus speaks up again.
“I don’t know if I want to go back without them, I don’t imagine it would be particularly enjoyable” Remus said quietly
“Maybe you’ll see Harry” Mary suggests but it seems futile
A few weeks later Remus sent another letter.
Sirius has escaped, I’m sure you’ll heart about it on the muggle news but I doubt they’ll go into the specifics. I’m going to take up the teaching position at Hogwarts, I suppose I feel like I owe it to them. I imagine I won’t be able to see you as much but keep safe.
Much love -Remus
Mary didn’t know how to handle it… so she didn’t really, she just acted like nothing had happened kept going with her life, her once long awaited monthly or so letters from Remus became a bit of a grievance, a reminder of sorts of the downhill turn that the wizarding world was going through. Mary was glad that the only pocket she had to the wizarding world was Remus’ letters, she didn’t think she would cope otherwise.
The letters became much more irregular as the year went on coming to a complete halt in the summer of 1994 until finally a letter came that October
Dear Mary
Sirius is innocent, it was Peter…
The letter went on detailing the events of October 1981 and how everything had come to light. At the end of the letter Remus said that Sirius had been asking about her, and that they would both like to see her. She respectfully declined without a reason. Truth is Mary didn’t know how to react she hadn’t known how to react for almost 13 years but now she finally had to react.
So she did.
She looked at the letter in her hands and started crying, sobbing, mourning the deaths of her friends mourning her mourning of Peter, mourning the situation. Darlene walked into her mothers bathroom and silently went over to hug her mum. Mary sat there crying, letting her 7 year old hug her well into the night.
Months went by with no word when word came it was short and brief and tended to purposely neglect any mention of Sirius. Mary somewhat bitterly wished Sirius would write to her, but she kicked herself remembering that it was her who didn’t want to meet him. In January 1996 Sirius sent Mary a letter begging her to see him, he said that with the certainty of the war both he and remus couldn’t live with themselves if they didn’t see her again. Sirius didn’t say why but Mary knew all to well why he was so desperate to see her.
It was drizzling when she walked through the doors of number 12 Grimauld palace, mary thought that the name Grimauld fit quite well because the place was… well… Grim. Remus led her down the main hallway to a dining room, a pot of tea was laid out on the oak table, three tea cups littered around it. Sirius looked up when she came in. He looked too old to be in his mid thirties, but he still had the handsome charm that Mary had fawned over in second year.
“Hello” mary breathed out.
The conversation was quiet, there were odd pauses to much clattering of teacups and to many exhales at random intervals, but it was still pleasant. Mary was glad to have seen him, in the coming months she would be exponentially more glad that she had seen sirius that drizzly afternoon but in that moment, walking out that door, Mary was glad that she could replace the murderous criminal Sirius out of her brain and replace it with the tired run down Sirius even if she longed for the Obnoxious Arrogant teenage sirius back. She was able to walk out the door with the promise of another afternoon tea date to follow.
The house she had started to rebuild came crashing down like a ton of bricks a few months later when remus told her sirius had died. Mary felt sick with herself for not giving him more time, for not accepting that stupid afternoon tea invite the first time it came. She made a point to see remus more regularly but with the war death toll growing daily and his life and relationships becoming more and more complicated it became increasingly harder to see him.
In march 1998 Mary saw remus for the last time, she didn’t know how she knew it was the last time but she did. The afternoon wasn’t abnormal, remus wasn’t in a great mood but Mary thought he appreciated the few hours of quiet where he didn’t have to think about the war. She didn’t let on that she knew it was the last time they would be seeing each other but something remus asked her as they were saying goodbye stuck with her.
“If the war ever ends… if we win again… if he’s truly gone… will you come back?”
Mary had to pause for a moment to think it through in her head.
“Remus… I couldn’t handle the aftermath of the war the first time”.
He nodded in a silent understanding.
“You stay safe ok?” Remus said
“I will, I promise I’ll visit when this is all done”. She said
The letter from Andromeda Black came about 3 months later Mary saw it coming but it still stung. She was truly the only one left, every single one of her highschool friends was dead. Now all she had left was the aftermath.
She went into her family’s spare bedroom. The room that kept the cupboard that kept that drawer that kept the wand. Tears on her cheeks, hands shaking she opened the drawer and took it out. She didn’t know why but she felt an overwhelming sense that she wasn’t alone in the room. She turned around and no one was there, but she felt them. Quietly she spoke up.
“What do I do know?” She asked.
As if on command an owl came through her window carrying the daily prophet and two letters. The first one was pristine white with a ministry stamp, it read…
To Mary MacDonald
I am aware that you’ve been distanced from the Wizarding world for the past 18 or so years but myself and the ministry would like to ask you to come and commemorate your friends for a daily prophet interview September 1st 1998. Please reply when possible
-Kingsley shacklebolt Minister for Magic
Mary Vaguely recognises the name as an older Hogwarts student from another house, she supposes that herself and Kingsley wouldn’t have overlapped at school for more than 2 years but none of that matters. She opens the second letter, cream paper with a hogwarts crest.
Dearest Mary MacDonald
I am sending this to ask about your daughter Darlene MacDonald. I am sure you’re aware that your daughter is in fact magical and is eligible for hogwarts this September. It is my understanding that you didn’t intend to return to the wizarding world when you left in 1981 but with the recent change in political climate I was wondering if you where reconsidering.
P.S I do hope your doing well during this mournful time and I hope you know my window is always open to letters
With much love -Minnie, Minerva Mcgonagall
Mary didn’t have to think, she knew what her answer to both the letters were. She hastily wiped her tears before calling out for her daughters.
“DARLENE, MILLIE I HAVE SOMETHING I NEED TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT”.
Hogwarts station was packed with faces Mary didn’t know, her daughter squeezed her hand tightly and looked up at her.
“Are you sure I’ll be ok” Darlene whispered nervously.
“Positively” Mary replied smiling.
She knelt down to be on Darlene’s level.
“I love you very much, and I want you to enjoy Hogwarts, those 7 years I spent there where some of the best years of my life and I want the same for you darling, stay strong, be safe, don’t take anyone’s BS” Mary kissed her daughter on the nose and led her to her compartment. Waving goodbye as the train sped off. Then she made her way to the ministry.
Bits of the ceiling where still being replaced in the front entrance and there where abundant cracks in the pavement, otherwise the ministry seemed almost identical if not more worn down than the one Mary briefly worked out in 1981. The witch at the front desk scanned her wand and motioned for her to go to the back of the foyer where she would find a few cameras and a single young journalist hanging on to every word the elderly women he was interviewing gave.
Mary waited patiently for the women to Finish and for her name to be called. A camera man took a face shot of and the journalist gestured at Mary to sit down.
“Sorry if I’m a bit shabby I’ve done about 8 of these today” he yawned
“Oh no issue. Say who was the last women here”? Mary asked him.
“Oh just some back pager, none of these interviews are going to go to much I expect, lot of people vaguely involved because they knew someone who knew someone or did something insignificant awhile back” he paused upon realising Mary’s offended face.
“Oh I Uhm I’m sorry” he said not even trying to backtrack on his statements. Something inside Mary that had been boiling over finally snapped, her anger and resentment towards the wizarding world had been growing since she was 11 and she couldn’t take it anymore she had to let it out.
So she did.
“Well can I begin?” Mary asked plainly. The interviewer just nodded his head.
“This has not been a victory” Mary started.
“This war like the war before that and the war before that has been a colossal waste of human life due to the wizarding worlds delusional idea that we are better than anyone.”
“One of my friends Marlene McKinnon died when she was 21, she was an aspiring healer, she could’ve been a professional quidditch player, but she wanted to help people, she didn’t get the chance. Another friend of mine Dorcas Meadows also died at 21, it was Voldemort herself that took her from us, she was a true griffindoor who died trying to Avenge her friends death. Im sure most of you know who Lily Potter is, a brilliant witch who was 10 times more academically gifted than her pure blood counterparts despite being a muggle born, she was so exited when her son was born, to watch him grow up, She famously didn’t get to see him grow up. Of course I also knew James Potter, I forget who but someone once told me that James Potter had the Ego the size of a lake and a heart to match it, and I stand by that because though flawed James probably the Kindest Sweetest person I’ll ever have the pleasure of meeting.”
“Sirius black was wrongfully imprisoned for something he didn’t do by this ministry, he died at the hands of a family he had been trying to escape his entire adult life and half his childhood, but the ministry wouldn’t let him, even after they where informed that he never did anything wrong, you let his family kill him. Finally Remus Lupin, I spent more time knowing remus than I did any of the others so I know All to well how awfully this ministry Screwed him over, he would’ve been a brilliant Aurour as his time in the order of the Phoenix proved, he could’ve been head of any department here, Hell he could’ve been minister for Magic if it wasn’t for our biases. But Remus was a werewolf so all our world let him have was a teaching position he held for a year and a name on the list of people who tragically died fighting for us.”
“Do you feel proud? Out of all my friends I made when I entered the wizarding world at 11 not one of them is still Alive with me today. None of them made it to 40 only two of them made it to 30 and the rest barely made it past 20. Or we can talk about Regulus black a boy who figured out Voldemort’s Secret more than a decade before dumbledoor could, and I’m calling him a boy because that’s what he was an 18 year old who died disgraced by the dark arts and disgraced by the opposing. Regulus black was a hero, as were James, Lily, Marlene, Dorcas, Sirius and Remus. And they all died so another war could be fought, another “darkest wizard ever” could be defeated”.
“I was thirteen when I learnt who Grindivald was, I was promised that there would never be a wizard as dark as he was. I had my fair share of racism in the muggle world and eleven year old me was hopeful that it would all be gone at Hogwarts, instead I spent 7 years learning how to protect myself from counter jinxes all because I was muggle born.”
“Winning this war has changed nothing, the registry still stands, your still sorting all the blood purist families into the same house so they can grow up with the other blood purists, you’ve still wrongfully convicted 7 recent alleged death eaters in the past month. WHAT WILL IT TAKE FOR THE WIZARDING WORLD TO REALISE THAT WE ARE NOT SPECIAL, WE ARE NOT BETTER, IF ANYTHING OUR ARROGANCE MAKES US A THOUSAND TIMES WORSE THAN THE MUGGLES!”
She took a deep breath and looked up, finally noticing the crowd of people watching her and the numerous pads of paper wrong her words down, she thought she even spotted a a camera like device filming her but she couldn’t be sure, she stood up and continued.
“The past few weeks have been nothing but celebration about the success of beating Voldemort. Not the tragedy of losing hundreds of lives because of yet another blood purism feud. This isn’t a win, this is supposed to be the bit were everyone mourns,so start fucking mourning because this is not a cause for celebration. Mourn your friends, family, if you’re lucky enough to not know anyone who has passed then mourn the regulus blacks of the world, the Marlene McKinnon’s the Dorcas meadows’”.
“There is no cause for celebration, no this is the time were everyone starts working out how to fix this messy endless loop we have trapped ourself in. And cleaning that mess starts with us remembering that we are not fucking special because this is nowhere near the first time a tragedy like this has happened, but I have hope that it is the last”.
“Thank you”.
Mary turned around to where the voice came from staring directly into Lilys eyes.
“Harry” she said.
“Yes” he answered
“God you look exactly like lily” she awed. Harry smiled at that. Appreciative of a comment about him tying him to Lily.
“Could you tell me about her?” he asked
“Certainly”.
***
“Is that daily prophet good grama” Mary turned to smile at her youngest granddaughter as she brought in her tea.
“It was quite interesting” mary responded wearily yawning. The daily prophet had been about the final last name being removed from the list of pure blood family’s, signifying the end of blood status. She looked at her granddaughter Lila, Lila herself was the great aunt of the little boy who had marked the ending of the list, making Mary a very proud great great great grandmother.
“If you would let me rest darling Lila” mary yawned.
“Of course” she whispered shutting the door.
Mary felt her mind fogging up and a soul slipping upwards, an old women of 143 Mary felt at ease with her death, knowing that she had made change, suddenly an exiting thought popped into her mind Marlene.
Mary felt as though she was flying up into the sky when she landed in someone’s arms with gentle thud. Everything around her seemed bright. She opened her eyes and saw the bright blue eyes she had been missing since she was 21.
“Marlene” she whispered tears forming in her eye.
“Marlene it’s you”
“It’s me” Marlene laughed touching Mary’s nose. “We’re all here… and I believe James owes you a galleon” Mary couldn’t help but laugh at Marlene’s stupid joke. She turned to face her friends, their faces were oddly ageless, youthful yet older than some of them made it to, aged but childlike? Mary supposed her face would be the same.
She reached in for a hug.
“I’m so sorry” she whispered.
“Dearest Mary what on gods white heaven are you sorry for” Sirius smiled.
“I don’t know, you all died heroes, I just ran away” mary replied.
“Nah you played the long game, we were all the idiots who rushed into battle, you made all the political change once everything was done” Lily giggled.
“But I-“ Dorcas cut her off
“No buts you survived Mary and did a bloody good job of it to”
Marlene went in for another hug.
“Mary you survived the Aftermath”.