1.
Changli was eight when she learned what soulmates are. It was one of the few happy memories she had. The adults in the village were telling the children about it.
"Not all children were born to have a soulmate, some wouldn't have any in their lifetime. The mark is the proof that you were chosen. It's an important piece of your soulmate's self though manifested differently. Some soulmates would share their thoughts, while some would have their name printed on their skin." Uncle Jiao said, looking at the children with soft eyes.
"Cherish your soulmate. Treasure them. Hold them close. For, they are your heart and soul. They are your companions in the ebb and flow of the wave we call life. " Aunt Yue said while smiling at them.
There was a scream, then there was only chaos. Tacet discords barged through the village killing everything within its sight. Men were up in arms fighting the tacet discords with every strength they had, while the women and children tried to run.
And Changli doesn't remember anymore what happens after that.
She only remembers the scent of smoke and blackened flesh. The pain of her left arm as it burns until a small feather flamed mark was etched into her hand.
She remembers walking on gray ash and saw a metal gleam on the floor covered by burnt wood.
She remembers Aunt Yue caressing the hairpin every time she would wear it. She remembers Aunt Yue telling her it was her most important treasure given by Uncle Jiao.
Now Aunt Yue is gone.
She's the only one left.
Her footsteps stirred dust in her wake. She saw other precious keepsakes from people she knows. People she loved. People who loved her.
A bronze mirror beloved by Zhao Yao. Zhao Yao, who keeps telling everyone how handsome he was. Zhao Yao who would put her hair in various styles, telling her she was pretty every time he did it.
A bloodied sword was pierced to the chest of a tacet discord. The handle had a light blue fabric. Uncle Jing's sword. She can still feel rough and calloused hands patting her hair.
Changli can't breathe. Her eyes are blurry and suddenly blurry with tears. Her knees touched the ashen covered floor as she wept.
Grieving for the family she had. Grieving for the life she could have.
If that's what it feels like to lose those precious to you, then she doesn't want to experience it again. She doesn't want a soulmate, no matter what anyone says. It hurts too much to lose them. Isn't it better to never meet them at all, than suffer from the pain of losing them?
Changli was eight when she wished that she didn't have a soulmate.
2.
Changli was nine when she was caught by the owner of the Yanqing bookstore reading books under the shelves.
Her small flame - created with forte - illuminated her surroundings with a red glow. Underneath the flame, Changli's eyes flickered to the text imprinted on the white sheet of paper.
According to various historians, soulmates are considered heaven's gifts. It is the ray of light in a world wrought with the Waveworn Phenomena.
The great Philosopher, Lao Tzu, believed that the Lament and the creation of Soulmates happened at the same time. It was a manifestation of the balance between the destruction caused that emerged after the Lament. A solace for the worn down humans living in Solaris-III.
Now, not all humans were blessed with soulmates. They were those whose nature makes them unsuitable to have a soulmate. Which is, according to-
"You!" The man, the owner of the bookstore, shouted. "What are you doing, kid? You're burning my store!"
Changli yelped, alarmed by the sudden voice and the flame she was controlling was snuffed out. She looked at the man and the now charred pages of the book.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. It was just so dark here and I wanted it to be brighter so.." Changli explained to the owner.
She saw the bookstore's owner's eyebrows knitted with anger. His hands swiftly grabbed the broom, his arms tightened preparing to strike at her. Changli quickly fled, disappearing to the market outside.
The owner could only scratch his head at the sight.
Changli slowed down to a halt when she could no longer see the store. She can still see the charred pages that she had caused and swore to earn enough money to replace it.
Changli took more odd jobs earning enough shell credits to repay the bookstore owner. One day turned into two and two turned into three, until seven days had passed.
The sun was high up in the sky shining their light on the people below. Changli had just finished her last job for the day. She began to walk towards the Yanqing bookstore carrying the shell credits with her. She entered the building.
"This is all my money. I swear, I earned it! Sorry for the books I burned... Only you have the books I'm looking for. So, please, may I..." Changli pleaded, her lips trembling as she waited for the owner's response.
"Fine." The owner replied. "Take your money and get out of my store."
Changli's shoulders drooped down. She sighed with disappointment. She was expecting it, she did. But she can't help feeling hope that she might still be welcomed inside the store.
The sound of the chair scraping the floor reached her ears. The owner stood up. He grabbed a lamp and a key.
"Take it. Don't use your forte to light a fire anymore and come read at night when there's no customers." The owner said, handing her the lamp and key.
". . ."
"Of course, I'm not letting you read for free. You'll need to open the shop for me in the morning."
"T-thank you, sir!" Changli stuttered out, bowing her head.
After that day, Changli would come to the Yanqing bookstore without fail. Even the harshest winter and the sweltering heat of summer didn't deter her daily routine. She would open the shop day after day until a few months had passed.
One day on a cold afternoon, Changli was reading a book about soulmate marks.
Soulmates would receive the same kind of marks as their partner. There are two kinds of soulmate marks: Physical and Mental. The physical type would manifest in the body - a form of tattoo, a written text of their name. While, the mental type involves a connection of mind between two soulmates. This would entail them to read each other's thoughts and feelings-
Changli heard the sound of footsteps nearing towards her. She saw Chanqing, the owner of the Yanqing bookstore, appearing from the lines of bookshelves. Chanqing's eyes flickered downward, reading the title of the book in her hands.
"You're just a child after all." Chanqing remarked. "Just a child excited for their soulmate."
Changli blushed in embarrassment. "No, it's nothing like that sir."
"There's nothing to be ashamed of. Heh, even adults twice your age still gush at the idea of soulmates."
"I don't want a soulmate..." Changli muttered quietly under her breath, low enough that Chanqing almost didn't hear it if he was not paying attention.
"Why don't you want a soulmate?" Chanqing asked.
"They would just die and leave. . ."
Chanqing's eyes widened in surprise. He remembers the grocer's remark on that day the small child hurriedly left his bookstore.
" I see." Chanqing coughed out.
"Do you need anything cleaned?" Changli asked, wondering why Chanqing deliberately sought her out.
"Here, take it." Chanqing said, in his hands was a book. A book about the history of Solaris-III. Changli took the book from his hands.
"Thank you!" She beamed at him, her cheeks stretched from happiness
Changli doesn't want a soulmate. Not yet, when she can't even protect herself. Maybe someday when she's big and strong and can kill tacet discords with a wave of her finger.
3.
Changli was eleven when she met her master. She was rummaging under the countless debris searching for anything to eat. Her hands were caked with stone and dirt
She felt someone tap on her shoulder. Changli whipped her head and slapped the hand on her shoulder.
An old man in a daoist robe frowned at her.
"Child, I don't wish to harm you." The old man said. His voice sounded rough with age.
"I don't have any food to share." Changli replied.
"Ha! What a cautious child you are. Do you think I need food for myself?" The old man said as he pointed to himself. "Do you think I need your food, child?"
She closely examined the man. Despite his weathered body, she can clearly tell he was still a healthy old man. It's not a body starved with food.
"Then what do you want?" Changli asked.
"It's not what I want. It's what I want to give." The old man corrected.
The man stretched his hand and inside was a soft bun. Changli hesitatingly reached out her hand and took the bun. She glanced at the old man to see if he would change his mind. The old daoist only nodded encouragingly.
Changli took a bite. Her mouth burst with flavor, the sweet and chewy meat coated her entire mouth. She took her time and only ate a small amount during each bite.
After she took her last bite, the old daoist handed her a bottle of water. Changli drank the offered drink. The water flowed through her throat like a heavy rain on a dry desert.
"Thank you!" Changli bowed towards the man.
"You're welcome child." The old daoist replied.
Unbeknownst to Changli, that will be her first encounter with her master.
The second encounter she had with her master was under the small dilapidated building she calls her home.
The heavy rain masked the sounds outside, her eye caught the fluttering of a familiar robe. Could it be the old daoist? She stood up and opened the door.
"Hello?" Changli said to the old man. She saw his shoulders tense before slowly relaxing as recognition showed through his eyes. "Do you want to stay inside?"
"Thank you child." The old daoist rasped taking shelter at Changli's home.
Changli sat down next to the daoist. The plip plop of raindrops made a comforting background combined with the cool air, it was an amazing sight. She swayed side to side humming as the occasional breeze brushed her cheeks.
The old daoist was silent next to her. His eyes were fixated outside admiring the scenery.
The rain gradually came to a halt. The old daoist stood up to leave and Changli escorted him out.
"Take this as my thanks." In the old daoist hands was a bun, Changli carefully took the offered food.
"Will we be meeting again?" Changli asked.
"If fate allows." The old daoist replied.
Then, the old daoist left.
The third time Changli and the old daoist meet was on the road leading to the market. Changli was running and the surroundings blurred. She was only a foot away from the daoist.
"Please wait! You're Master Xuanmiao aren't you?" Changli asked in desperation, laced her voice.
Master Xuanmiao stopped in his tracks and turned around, seeing the child before him. "What if I was?"
"If you were the wise hermit, then I would ask you to please accept me as your apprentice!" Changli bowed until her body was parallel to the ground. "I have been looking for you! I want to live and become stronger to see a peaceful and prosperous world!"
The wise hermit just continued to stare blankly at Changli. Changli continued to bow at him.
"What do you think is a peaceful and prosperous world?"
Hearing the wise hermit's voice, Changli straightened her back. She began to deeply ponder the hermit's question.
Is it a place where no tacet discords running amok to ruin the lives of the people?
Is a prosperous world a world filled with carefree laughter?
Is a peaceful world where no one can experience the death of a loved one?
Or is it so much simpler than that?
"I think..." Changli muttered. "A peaceful and prosperous world is where people have homes to come back to. It's a world where people can live freely."
Master Xuanmiao hummed in response contemplating his answer. His eyes steeled and Changli waited with anticipation.
"I'm sorry. I can't accept you as my disciple." The wise hermit said.
Changli was crestfallen, her shoulders drooped down and her eyes were shadowed with disappointment. The wise hermit turned around to leave but before he could continue to step Changli spoke.
"I'm a resonator too! Look!" Changli shouted at the disappearing back of the old daoist.
Bright, red flame appeared out of Changli's fingertips. Xuanmiao gasped. He appeared entranced at the dancing flame.
"Is this flame manipulation?" The wise hermit asked himself.
"Such a powerful forte, if not used wisely, will engulf you and others in a sea of flames. Perhaps this is also a form of fate." He mused.
"Come child, I'll take you as my disciple." The wise hermit beckoned and Changli followed.
And so, it was on a bright day when Changli was accepted by her master.
The journeys with her master were long and harsh. Their footsteps took them to the green filled fields, barren gray battlefields devoid of life, and boisterous cities filled with people.
They were staying inside one of those cities even now. Changli's legs were crossed in a lotus position as she and her master played weiqi together. A hand put down a white go stone. It fully encircled the black go stones on the board.
"It's your win, master." Changli said.
"You will be this skilled someday. Continue to devote yourself to your studies." The hermit replied.
Changli took the advice for what it was. Her master was an old man, time withered his once healthy body to a thin man. The years are finally getting to him.
"It is time for me to leave you, child." Xuanmiao said.
"Is the place you're going to so dangerous, master? Can't I accompany you?" Changli asked.
"No, it's not a place where you can go yet." Xuanmiao started. "And I can only accompany you so far in your journey. I have taught you all that I know. It's now time for you to journey on your own."
"Only you, Changli, can find your own enlightenment in your way of life. Remember to ponder carefully, to wait patiently, and plan meticulously. Brute strength is not the only answer to one's problems."
"I will always remember your teachings, master." Changli choked out, her tears already threatening to fall from her eyes.
Xuanmiao smiled in return. His hands stroking his beard thoughtfully.
"If you meet your soulmate, learn to trust and rely on them. They are the only person in the world who would never betray you."
"But master-"
"I know about your view on soulmates." Xuanmiao interrupted. "But you must know that your soulmate didn't choose to be paired with you Changli."
Changli averted her eyes at her master's scrutiny. Xuanmiao can only sigh at his disciple's actions. He knows that Changli's opinion on soulmates can't be easily replaced but he hoped that he at least eased her idea on it.
"I know, master." Changli whispered. "But I don't have a long time to live. Wouldn't I be inflicting pain on them when I would inevitably leave this world?"
"Oh, Changli."
Master Xuanmiao stood up and hugged her. Changli wishes to remember this warmth of her master in the coming years. The tears were now freely flowing, wetting the wise hermit's clothes.
Changli cried and Master Xuanmiao can only hug her in comfort hoping that he can provide a moment of reprieve.
4.
Changli was twenty-five when she first met Jinhsi.
The towering heights of the city hall greeted her, welcoming her to Jinzhou. The surroundings were clean, the bushes were trimmed, and the floors were shining reflecting tiles.
A disparaging sight compared to the hole filled road of Jinzhou, its citizens' faces filled with hopeless despair.
Changli frowned.
The corruption in the walls of Jinzhou was more prevalent than she had thought.
Who would be so heartless to deprive its own brave citizens the treatment they so deserve?
Who would be so thoughtless to steal the country's coffers to line their own bulging wealth?
Who would be so foolish to weaken a frontier's walls?
Changli could only shake her head. She could only hope that the new magistrate would be up to the task of cleansing this country of filth.
She pushed the button of the elevator, it whirred to life bringing Changli to the top floor of the city hall. There she would meet the people whose mind was so consumed by greed.
Gone was their honor.
Gone was their sense of service.
Only themselves remained in their mind.
The elevator dinged and Changli walked to the den of snakes. A new game of weiqi would soon begin and Changli can't help but smirk at the prospect of it.
The confrontation went well if you asked Changli. Those two faced foxes can't handle a simple probing from one as skilled as her. They immediately handed her their plan on a silver platter even if they still hadn't realised it.
Changli hummed, her mood bolstered.
She walked with her head straight towards the Grand Library and pushed the doors open, the scent of olden books met her. Changli smiled.
Her heels clacked echoing throughout the library. Reams of books were lined inside the numerous bookshelves, showcasing the history of Jinzhou.
"He who can't see the cause of order or chaos shall not make law'... But how can I see the very roots of everything? How can I gain such insights?"
Changli stopped hearing a voice coming from the next bookshelves. A petite figure remained seated at the open space unoccupied by bookshelves. The figure's head was in between stacks of books.
Changli softly walked towards the person. She was curious.
What kind of person was she to recite scriptures that were beyond her age?
Changli wished to teach the figure her own lessons that she had found.
"You look towards the source." Changli interrupted the girl's chanting. Her white hair fluttered as she stared at Changli with surprise. "Everything has a beginning and an end. The source will be uncovered if you follow the trails your eyes see."
"Thank you, madam." The figure's voice has a soft yet firm tone. "Then, what should I do to restore order in the city?"
Changli paused. She took a closer look at the person sitting at the table. The person has white hair and eyes, ethereal as the moonlight.
So she was Jinhsi, the newly appointed Magistrate, Changli thought.
"Why this question?" Changli asked.
"The people of Jinzhou have long fallen to the despair of war. I wish to provide them peace and prosperity." Jinhsi said.
Peace and prosperity. . .
Changli recalled a young child's face filled with conviction to see the world transform into a peaceful and prosperous one. Determination and strength was behind Jinhsi's gaze like motes of light at the end of a tunnel.
If it's her, perhaps she can bring peace and prosperity to the city of Jinzhou.
"Very well then, I shall aid you in fulfilling your wish." Changli declared and Jinhsi's eyes beamed, her mouth softly curving.
"Then, thank you teacher!" Jinhsi bowed low.
"Teacher? I'm no teacher." Changli replied.
"I received a letter that told me that my teacher would be coming here today." Jinhsi smiled.
"Maybe your teacher's arrival was delayed."
"You say you're not my teacher but your character says otherwise."
Changli just smiled in response.
What a perceptive student she was going to have. It would be a worthwhile experience teaching her.
The moon now reigned high outside the window of Changli's room. She relaxed at her chair, her hand occupied with reports of the flow of goods entering and exiting Jinzhou.
Suddenly, Changli screamed as she felt hot piercing pain in her back. The papers that lined the table fell to the floor. Changli gritted her teeth, tears were gathering at the edge of her eye.
The pain slowly receded and Changli gasped for air. Breathing in and out as she gets herself together. She can see in her mind, a mark was etched on her back.
It was a white dragon.
Its scales were polished as if reflecting the moonlight. The horns were small. It was branching upward in almost every direction. The dragon's whiskers were short and thin.
And it's eyes. Changli can't help but admire them. It was as if the full moon were her eyes. Bright and ethereal like a balm to one's soul.
The dragon's eyes were familiar to Changli as if she had seen them before. As if she had seen those eyes mere hours ago at the grand library.
Changli grimaced. If her guess was right, then her soulmate must be the young Magistrate of Jinzhou. A girl of fifteen years of age.
She felt the mark tingle. It was warm as if she was being wrapped in an encompassing hug.
If that wasn't a confirmation then Changli will eat her weiqi board.
Changli wished to scream. To pour her anger at fate for letting her soulmate be so young.
Being with Changli would only bring pain and suffering to Jinhsi in the future. A decade old age gap is one thing. A teacher and student relationship was another. People were going to whisper, to point their fingers at their relationship. Jinhsi would ruin her reputation to just be with her.
It was at least a reprieve to know that one wouldn't start falling in love with their soulmate until both are of legal age.
Changli was twenty-five when she found out who her soulmate was.
5.
Changli was thirty-one when she had lost a game of weiqi for the first time in nearly decades.
Kind white eyes stared at Changli, across from her was the Magistrate of Jinzhou a weiqi board in between them. A plate of loong buns was sitting waiting to be eaten.
"There's no need to bring gifts every time you visit, teacher." Jinhsi scolded.
Changli just smiled. It was a game she and Jinhsi started playing a few years ago.
A plate of loong buns every time she notices Jinhsi was up late in the night.
A new hairpin every time she sees one that would suit her.
A flower for her every morning making sure to not leave the vase empty for long.
It was the little actions that Changli was proud of. A way to say 'I love you' without it being said out loud. A way to say 'I think of you' without being too obvious.
"But it would be disgraceful to not bring gifts to someone you're visiting." Changli replied, putting a go stone on the board in front of her.
Jinhsi sighed, clearly used to dealing with Changli's ambiguous replies.
For Changli, her affections were never outspoken; it was like the flame of a hearth - warm and subtle.
She often wondered if Jinhsi knew. Of the unspoken words she said. Of the yearning in her eyes when they would get too close to each other.
"You never do change that habit of yours." Jinhsi said her eyes looked knowingly at Changli. Her hand grabbed a white go stone and put it down on the board.
Changli didn't reply. She put down a black go stone mimicking Jinhsi. Her mark was pleasantly warm in her back. It was as if it knew that she was spending time with Jinhsi.
"Since you're here, I have something to give you." Jinhsi said, breaking the silence between them. "Here."
Changli saw a brown wooden box. It was plainly decorated. Her hands lifted up the case and her eyes widened fractionally in surprise.
Inside was a ring.
It was a simple yet intricate ring. A dragon and phoenix was carved, intertwined together to represent their union. The dragon was on top of the phoenix as if shielding them from the harsh rain and sun.
Changli was speechless.
Is Jinhsi proposing? How? Why? What?
"You don't have to answer me right now." Jinhsi's voice trembled. "You can take your time deciding."
"I see, then I shall think about it." Changli whispered, her voice low afraid she was going to break something.
But then again, that something was already broken isn't it?
Changli's eyes flickered at the ring, her mind whirring to decide if she was going to take the ring or not with her. Her back was now searing hot but it didn't hurt at all.
"I shall give you my answer a week from now." Changli said. She closed the case sealing the ring inside and grabbed it. "Thank you for your time, I shall take my leave."
As she stood up, she saw the weiqi board for a moment. It was a sea of black surrounded by white. Changli had lost.
Maybe the board was foretelling the decisions she would take after all.
Days had passed after that. Changli drove herself to her work. Filing paperwork until her arms were marred with ink. She was avoiding Jinhsi, she knew it. She did.
But she can't help but feel like a child, when the decision involves her soulmate.
Jinhsi who is ever so kind to give her space even if she knew that Changli was avoiding her.
Jinhsi who is ever so patient that she would never ask Changli for her answer, choosing to wait when Changli would be ready.
What did she do to deserve her? What did she do to deserve the noble and kind Jinhsi?
Not when Changli could drop dead in a few years. Not when Changli would cause her heartbreak if she dared to accept.
She looked at the ring again, its shine was reflecting the sunlight. She can feel each and everyone of the scales and feathers. It was clearly crafted with care.
Follow your heart, Changli. The world may turn and the waves may swallow you whole, but you, child, will be the only thing remaining in this unchanging world.
Your life may be a short flame but you can choose the kind of flame you want to be. Burn bright Changli, for you will bring peace and prosperity to the world around you.
She heard her master's voice in her mind. Changli giggled at the absurdity of it. Even her master had enough of his foolish student even in the after life. She should heed his advice lest she might find her room haunted at night.
She would accept Jinhsi's proposal. She would become her wife. She would become Jinhsi's. And Jinhsi would become hers.
Changli smiled widely, reaching her eyes. Her mark thrummed with contentment. She now has her decision.
One morning, Jinhsi 's eyes saw a gleaming ring on Changli's ring finger and her eyes lit up like the morning sun. She ran up to Changli and enveloped her into a hug.
"I'm yours now, Jinhsi." Changli said looking at the ethereal white eyes she had fallen in love with.
"And I too am yours, Changli." Jinhsi replied.
And they kissed. Their teeth clacked at first, inexperienced as they were. They pulled away and laughed. They kissed again and this time they were on mark. Jinhsi's lips were so soft that Changli couldn't help but to kiss her again and again.
Changli was thirty-one when she was glad that she had a soulmate and that soulmate was Jinhsi.