Chapter 5
Regulus
As soon as the door closed after James Regulus could feel the silence between him and his brother around them. He’d learned since he was young that Sirius talked faster than his head could keep up with. It still stung when Sirius was in business mode and forgot to think first. What was he thinking by using his charity as good publicity for James he had to have boundaries and that was his. He was never ever going to put his kids in any space to be unsafe no matter what other people wanted.
It helped that Sirius apologized but it sometimes felt like that's always what people did and it never took back the hurt left on Regulus. He wore scares visible and invisible every day he remembers vividly how little sorry does.
“Reg, Reg, Regggggieee please talk to me I know you are still mad. Before you even say you’re not mad I know you are and I don't blame you. I said a stupid thing and I wish I could take it back you know I would never want any of the kids you work with to suffer from publicity or film crews. I’m sorry you had to correct me and I'm sorry I was thoughtless I promise I'll be more careful trust me.” - Sirius was almost out of breath trying to get his words out.
Regulus lost some of the tension in his shoulders because he knew Sirius better than himself sometimes and there is no evil bone in his body. Sirius escaped their family pure and good and Regulus’s eyes. So an apology from him somehow was better. Maybe in part because it was hard to see his big brother do wrong and Regulus so wanted to believe in good things.
“I know Sirius, I trust you, just never bring up using my charity for good PR again and we’ll be fine I know you mean well. And I’m sure some publicity is good, but I can’t ask these kids to share their one safe space with strangers whose intentions and motives are unknown, and I won’t apologize for that.” Regulus spoke back.
“I understand completely, I will never ever ever bring it up again I promise.” Sirius was speaking with such sincerity it was easy to believe him.
“Okay good now tell me what I need to do during James’ practice I've barely watched football since the college games”
Riding in the car with his brother Regulus was nervous he would look disingenuous at best and a complete fraud at worst. Sirius was talking his ear off about James’ teammates and every little detail about James’ life he’d be expected to know.
“When we get there you’ll meet pandora shes the team's public liaison and team manager shes going to show you where to sit and from there James knows that he needs to pretend not to notice you until a specific moment we will have cameras set to catch and discreetly leak the images.” - “It’s pretty simple for you, we just need you to watch and cheer and act like you’re so in love with James that you can't take your eyes off him”
Sirius had the whole thing laid out it was just on Reg now not to fuck it up.
“Okay sounds good, look in love got it” Regulus might have been mumbling a nervous habit that used to get him beat by his parents. A series of chills ran through him as the memories tried to push forward. No, you need to stay focused he told himself in his head.
Pandora was strangely lovely even if she looked at Regulus a bit too knowingly. He wasn't sure if it was her instinct or if someone had told her not to touch him, but she didn't offer to shake his hand which was a relief.
“Okay Regulus you can sit and watch here we're gonna have them run drills and practice plays soon if you need anything at all anyone inside should be able to point you in the right direction and when in doubt call Sirus or me, Ill leave you with my number”
Regulus thanked her and took the number gratefully before entering it into his phone.
All he had to do was put on a good show and it would help James he repeated this as he tried to keep a smile on his face. Regulus just struggled to feel like he belonged in this world he had never been the athletic jock type even in college they’d made him nervous.
He thought he’d known what to expect but he had severely underestimated what it would be like watching James run around shirtless in the Seattle stadium with bright lights making him look even more striking. Fuck Regulus thinks he stopped breathing for a second, it wasn't that he didn't know what James looked like it was just different to see him in his element.
And god was football James element. He ran and screamed and rallied his team like it was all so easy. Regulus was mesmerized he completely forgot what he was supposed to be doing. And during that exact realization, James turned in his direction with a smile Regulus swore looked personally designed for him. But the fantasy broke when he heard the cameras shuttering behind him. Pretending right yes that's what Regulus needed to remember he couldn't get caught up in any stupid dreams that any part of James was his, no smiles laughs, or secrets only acting.
James ran up to him on the sideline seats shouting “Reg you came I can't believe you surprised me like this.” - “I come bringing my prize of the day,” James said kneeling before him and holding up one of the footballs from the practice.
Regulus laughed before he could check his reaction for the cameras but he held out his hands and took the football.
“Thanks, you know I've been missing you so much I couldn’t be apart another minute I wanted to surprise you baby” Regulus tried to smile like he wasn’t dying inside.
The camera man in the back spoke before Regulus had to draw up anymore romantic line “We got what we needed thanks guys I’ll send the film over to Sirius, But honestly the stuff we got before you talked when Regulus was just watching alone was gold”
Regulus cringed into himself the embarrassment was stifling, stupid childhood crush. How was it Regulus’s fault James looked like a greek god during football practice no one should be expected to be immune to that?
The camera guy walked away leaving James alone with Regulus.
“Soo you liked watching me run around huh” James was smirking.
Regulus took the football in his hands and chucked it right at James’ head “No of course not I was just mildly interested your suck much less now than in college.”
This was definitely a lie Reg was telling himself because he Remembers James even then, he’d been young and eager to prove himself. But just as good with the same drive and passion clear to everyone who watched him.
“Sure you can tell yourself that Regulus I was beautiful I know magazines have described me as magnetic and dreamy” Regulus watched James laugh again and this time he decided to let him enjoy the cheerfulness for just a moment.
“I have another couple hours of practice but I’m sure now that the filming is done you’re free to go” James looked a bit more serious now like he remembered why Regulus was there again.
Regulus was going to regret this concession “I want to stay, as I said it’s more interesting to watch now that you suck less” - “Besides it needs to be believable to your team and they can’t think I don't really want to be here”
“Okay, thanks Reggie I’ll make up for keeping you here later any takeout you want tonight we’ll order in on me, I won't fuss even if it's some of the fancy weird places you like.”
Regulus watched as James ran back out onto the field and enjoyed the next peaceful couple of hours. Watching the drills was actually somewhat relaxing when the stadium was empty and the cameras were gone.
And Regulus was not lying when he said it was like James was born to be on the field every move and drill looked flawless. James was a work of art that felt designed to make Regulus weak and it was working.