Chapter 1
When Regulus had decided to go to Hosgemade to buy presents he had hoped that no one would see him going outside.
Somehow, a brown haired boy with gorgeous brown eyes behind lovely glasses had seen him and was now walking next to him as he had invited himself along.
When Regulus tried to get James to turn around and go away, James had only said he'd carry the things Regulus would buy. And somehow Regulus hadn't said no to that offer. He tried to make himself believe that it was for revenge, as he could buy enough things that James couldn't possibly all carry so he would fall.
Ignoring what his Heart tried to make him believe he shook his head and looked back to James.
James, who was wearing a red jumper and a red hat which Regulus hated as much as he had to admit that it looked good.
"Look at that! Isn't that a lovely light?" James was saying and Regulus followed to where James was pointing now. In the store window was a lantern that was shining bright gold light with red spots. Of course James loved that.
"Have I ever told you about that Time Sirius and I threw around a bouncy ball and it shattered the light? It was in the middle of the night and we were alone in the common room-" before he could continue, Regulus elbowed him.
"Potter, I am barely listening to you" He said, even though that wasn't true as James' little story had made him remember a story of his own. One where he had thrown a snowball inside the black manor, right through the kitchen window.
When Walburga had asked who it was, Sirius had said it was him. Regulus had already tried to tell himself it would be okay if he admitted it himself so he was surprised of his brother, until he felt touched by his braveness.
There was no one as brave and idiotic as his brother. While James was a close option.
"-listening to me is something you should do more often" James finished and Regulus blinked. "No." He answered and James just grinned at him.
"Do you want to know what I got for Moony?" James went on and Regulus wanted to slap him. He wanted to slap him for being the sun in human form. He wanted to slap him for making him feel so relaxed. He wanted to slap him because he almost forgot completely about christmas presents until James had said that.
"Something that makes him realize and do something about his little crush on my brother?" Regulus' answer made James stop. For one moment, Regulus thought he finally silenced James. Then he spoke so much that Regulus questioned if James Potter needed air at all.
"I was actually thinking about it, but I think it would be better if they do that on their own. They're close. It's really exiting to watch them and hope for them to really just realize and do something isn't it? So I don't plan to interfere, except if it gets worse and they dance around each other even more. I really hope that won't happen. But I plan on giving Moony-" Regulus placed his Hand over James Mouth.
It made James stop so Regulus could say a simple threat. "If you tell me, I'm going to tell him so it won't be a surprise" Which was a lie. Regulus wouldn't bother telling Remus, but he knew James would believe him.
James blinked at him. Then he grabbed Regulus' hand and Regulus faster pulled it away from James. "I wouldn't even be mad at you if you did that" James said. He sounded so honest that Regulus wanted to punch him again.
"How about hot chocolate?" James continued and, having not realized that Regulus hadn't want him to hold his hand, grabbed his hand again. Regulus rolled his eyes. However he did not try to get his hand out of James'. "If you choke on that you might see me smile"
James laughed. Regulus was staring at James, who just dragged him with him to a store that probably selled hot chocolate.
He can't just laugh about that, right? Regulus thought. Then again, James had said he wouldn't even be mad at him if he told Remus what he would get as a present.
The only logical thought was that James was a really stupid Idiot. So stupid that Regulus-
He felt a warm cup in his hands and looked down. "Thank you!" James Voice was louder inside the store. Regulus looked from the cup to him. James was just waving with one hand to the Guy at the Cash Register. "Have a great day too! I love the chocolate here"
And then they were outside again. "I could have paid for it myself" was the first thing that Regulus thought to say. James shrugged and smiled and it made Regulus think about how he would look if Regulus would spill his hot chocolate all over him. The thought made his face feel warm because James would probably just take his jumper off.
But that was not something Regulus wanted to think about so he just took a sip of the hot chocolate and looked around, saying "I still need to find something for Dorcas"
James instantly decided to point out random things, which weren't really helpful but it made Regulus smile slightly a lot of the times when it happened.
Regulus also couldn't stop himself from making a list in his mind with Things he could give James as a present. Which he tried to forget about but whenever James went on about another Thing that was making him smile so bright, Regulus couldn't help it.
"My Parents didn't get me a Pet to take with me because I was too scared that I might not be able to take care of it" James said and it made Regulus stop. They had finished their drinks by now and James stopped as well.
"You take more care of everyone else than yourself, why do you think you still aren't good enough?" Regulus asked before he could stop himself. He had that thought a lot, actually. Ever since he and James had talked more, or when Regulus caught himself watching James.
Instead of finding James looking to him, James was looking at the ground. He wasn't answering. Looking at a silent James who was looking at the ground squeezed his heart.
He had wanted to silence him before, but he never wanted to make him sad. And he never wanted to make him look like that. But looking at him and seeing him like that made him realize that he had never seen James look sad.
Never, no matter when he had looked at James, had he looked sad. James Potter was the Boy who never had a bad day. The Boy who you would look at and he would smile at you so you smiled back. The Boy who always made his friends laugh.
All of those thoughts made Regulus' heart clench and want to jump out of his chest and try to hold James heart.
"I don't.. I don't think anyone has ever asked me that, I thought everyone else just didn't notice" It was so genuine that Regulus thought about throwing himself into the lake and drown. Instead of going for that option, he grabbed James' tie. It made James look up and look him in the eye. "Of course someone noticed. I won't excuse anyone who didn't, but I can tell you that I notice. And I won't just ignore it"
Regulus knew he meant all of it. He meant it so much it scared him. James tilted his head and smiled. It was a soft smile.
It was so precious that Regulus thought about how it would be to kiss him when he smiled like that. That thought made him take his hand off of James' tie.
James continued to smile at him like that and then grabbed his hand. Regulus didn't complain and shortly looked at their hands.
"You always say I'm so full of myself, yet you seem to be so fond of me" James whispered and Regulus shortly felt confused. Then he looked away. "You don't realize how full you are of other people's happiness. When I say that you're full of yourself, I say it because you show your true self. And you need to do that more"
At this point Regulus wasn't even sure if he was making complete sense. He also didn't really care. But his Thought had a Grip on one Idea for something he wanted to get James now.
At Hogwarts, Regulus had to realize that he had forgotten to find Dorcas a present. But because he already knew he would need to go there again he didn't thought it was that bad.
. . .
When James woke up at christmas morning, it was because something had nibbled on his ear. Once he grabbed his glasses from his table he was able to look into the face of a black brown-ish owl that softly hooter at him. On his neck was a small silver necklace with the engraving "Thalis Potter"
James moved his blanket to sit up more, which the owl, Thalis, used to hop into his lap and cuddle into him. Doing so, the Card the little Owl had sat on was visible to James.
It was a black card with silver writing that said nothing other than a simple "Merry Christmas" signed by RAB.