There is a crack, a crack in everything
That’s how the light gets in
Anthem, Leonard Cohen
Narcissa is staring out at the garden, at the grey mist and never-ending trickle of rain transforming the lawn and flower beds into a swamp. She traces her fingers across the windowpane, following the little rivulets of water that have formed there. She sighs and her breath fogs up the glass.
Neville, that ridiculous boy, is working on his snowdrops. He somehow managed to infuse them with magic. They’ve grown much larger than usual and jingle every time someone comes close. Narcissa can hear them despite the closed window. They are supposed to be festive, but in this weather they look just sad. She notices that Neville’s hair is wet and wonders if he’s cast impervius or at least a warming charm on himself. He often gets lost in his work and forgets about himself. Bloody Gryffindor.
Narcissa opens the old creaking window with some difficulty and grimaces as a few drops of rain hit her face. She casts a quick impervius followed by a drying charm in Neville’s direction and closes the window again. A few seconds later he looks up towards the house. Narcissa takes a step to the side, so that he can’t see her face.
Ridiculous, ridiculous boy. She shakes her head. One of these days he’ll get himself killed. It nearly happened last week when he got bit by that venomous dragon snail just because he forgot to wear gloves. Narcissa presses her lips together, remembering Draco’s pale and terrified face in St. Mungo’s waiting room.
“I found you!”
Narcissa jumps, nearly tearing off the dusty curtains.
“That really wasn’t a great hiding place, Aunt Cissy. You should have hidden behind the curtains. Then I wouldn’t have seen you immediately.”
Narcissa clutches at her chest, willing her heart to calm down. It’s just Teddy.
“You are right,” she finally says to the child and turns around, looking at faer. “That was silly of me, wasn’t it?”
Teddy nods gravely. Faer hair is blond today, falling over faer shoulders in long soft curls. Narcissa swallows down the warm feeling that is creeping its way up her chest. So many people in this house that she loves. So many people she could lose.
“The game isn’t funny anymore,” Teddy complains, looking around the library. Fae has been in a mood for the last few days and not even the countless games Narcissa has offered to play have helped.
“Santa won’t ever find their way here with all that rain and mist,” Teddy groans staring accusingly at the grey sky outside.
“I’m sure Rudolf can help them guide the way,” Narcissa says for what feels like the millionth time during the last few days.
Teddy rolls faer eyes. “I’m not a baby anymore, I know that reindeer don’t have glowing noses.”
Narcissa opens her mouth, then closes it again. She doesn’t know what to say. Children’s logic has always confused her. Santa is real, but no, red glowing noses that’s beyond the scope of possibilities. Not even magic can achieve that kind of wonder. She looks at Teddy’s scowling face and wishes that fae never grows up, never leaves for Hogwarts, that fae stays like this forever, playing silly games with her and scowling at the unfairness of rain and mist on December 22nd.
A selfish wish.
“You know, Teddy, we could try and change the weather,” Narcissa says slowly, her eyes wandering over the bookcases.
“You said there were no weather spells that powerful,” Teddy sounds deeply wounded as if she’s betrayed faer by keeping a secret until now.
“There isn’t,” Narcissa says and walks over to a glass cabinet at the back of the library. She can hear Teddy’s soft footsteps following her. She peers down and yes, there it is, an old leathery tome. Wonder Tales from Scottish Myth and Legend.
“We can’t change the weather ourselves, but maybe we can ask the person who can,” she says. A little warm hand grabs onto her fingers, as Teddy presses faer nose against the glass.
“Who is in charge of the weather, Aunt Cissy?” fae asks breathlessly. “Neville said it’s part of some eccusystem and we shouldn’t meddle with it, because it’s already fucked as it is and then granny hit him with a stinging hex for swearing.”
Narcissa chuckles and strokes Teddy’s head gently. “This is a little bit different,” she says. “And it might not work.”
Well, the chances are very high that it won’t work, but Hermione has told her about recent muggle studies looking into the so-called placebo effect a few weeks ago and Narcissa wonders if maybe it could work on something like this too.
She opens the lid of the cabinet and carefully takes out the book. Then she beckons Teddy over to one of the reading nooks next to the windows. She casts a warming charm on the cushions and sits down. Teddy scrambles up and settles into her lap, pressing faer fingers onto the cover of the book. Narcissa inhales the scent of faer hair as it tickles her nose and feels like she is transported back in time, cuddling, and reading books in this exact same spot with Draco years ago. Her heart feels heavy, but Teddy wriggles impatiently on her lap, interrupting her sudden spell of nostalgia.
“How are we going to change the weather, Aunt Cissy?” Teddy whines.
“Well,” Narcissa says and opens the book, leafing through it until she’s found the right page. “We will ask the Cailleach to do it.”
“The what?” asks Teddy.
“The Cailleach, or Beira, the Queen of Winter,” Narcissa says just in the same voice she always uses when she’s reading an especially mysterious part in one of Teddy’s bedtime stories. “She’s an old hag.”
“Ohhhhhh,” Teddy sighs reverently.
“She is as tall as a giant and her hair is white, her skin pale blue. She sleeps most of the year, waiting as a stone on Ben Cruachan in Scotland, but wakes just before Christmas and starts wandering the land with her herd of deer. She has a staff and everywhere she steps the ground freezes and when she whispers to the sky the wind brings the cold and snow and ice.”
Teddy is holding faer breath, faer little body gone completely still, a rare occurrence.
“So why is it still raining?” fae asks. “It’s Christmas in three days.”
“Maybe the Cailleach is still sleeping, maybe she forgot to wake up,” Narcissa says seriously.
Teddy turns faer head around, leaning faer cheek against Narcissa’s chin, and looks up at her with an incredulous and excited expression on faer face.
“Do you think we can wake her up, Aunt Cissy?” fae asks with so much hope in faer voice that Narcissa doesn’t do what she’s probably supposed to do. So, instead of quelling faer expectations she nods and whispers: “If we believe hard enough, then it will work.”
“I can do that,” Teddy whispers back with such a serious expression that Narcissa can’t help but grin. Teddy turns back and shoves faer nose into the book, impatiently trying to decipher the words. Narcissa’s smile falters. She really needs this to work. Whatever this is. This child deserves all the happiness in the world and Narcissa will move mountains for faer if that’s what it takes.
“Ok, so let’s look what it says here…”
***
Teddy yawns and suddenly Narcissa is acutely aware that the sky outside has turned from grey to black. She doesn’t know how much time has passed while Teddy and she have drawn runes on the floor and burnt holly and fir branches, but the soft light coming from the garden tells her that Neville is still outside.
“I think that’s all we can do for today,” Narcissa says and closes the book with a thud.
“Do you think it will be enough?” Teddy asks through another yawn and rubs at faer eyes.
“We will see, Teddy,” Narcissa says, feeling slightly queasy at the thought of Teddy’s reaction the next day if the weather stays the same.
“I think it worked,” fae says with all the confidence of a six-year-old, who knows the subtle difference between believing in Santa and believing in reindeer having glowing red noses. “Don’t worry, Aunt Cissy,” fae adds and pats her on the cheek with a little cold hand.
“Oh Teddy, you are freezing. Come one, let’s get you some hot chocolate and something to eat.” She takes Teddy’s hand and leads faer outside, towards the warm kitchen.
Andy looks over her newspaper as Narcissa and Teddy enter the room. She snaps her fingers and the pipe she was just smoking vanishes, leaving behind a lingering scent of wild herbs and cranberries. Narcissa rolls her eyes and Teddy chuckles.
“Aunt Cissy says it’s rude to smoke inside the house,” Teddy says, scrambling up to sit on faer grandmother’s lap, burying faer face in her neck.
“Well,” Andy says, “Aunt Cissy is right.” Narcissa smiles and glances over at her sister, who mouths “Don’t get used to it” at her, before proceeding to tickle Teddy’s feet.
Narcissa flicks her hand to summon milk and chocolate from the pantry and makes them all a cup, one with extra marshmallows and sugar sprinkles for Teddy. She decides to make one for Neville too and sends it out to the garden with a hastily scribbled note.
It is dark outside if you haven’t noticed. Dinner will be ready soon. If you make my son unhappy by freezing to death, I will tell your grandmother that it was you who lost her good gardening shears.
A few minutes later, a little paper plane returns.
Thank you for the hot chocolate. I’m already packing up and will be inside in 5’. PLEASE DON’T TELL GRANNY. X Neville P.S. I think I found a wiggentree shoot in the back garden that seems to be in great shape. Care to have a look tomorrow?
Narcissa reads the paper and can’t help but smile.
“And what were you two up to?” Andy asks and Narcissa’s head snaps up from the paper.
“We made a ritual to wake up the Cailleach so that she can walk the land and make it snow,” Teddy chatters excitedly.
“Is that so?” Andy asks with a smile, but when she glances over Teddy’s head at Narcissa, her brow is furrowed. Narcissa just shrugs. One should never underestimate the power of a good story.
***
Hours later though, Narcissa tosses and turns in her bed. She doesn’t know why she’d come up with that ridiculous ritual. She is sure that it hasn’t worked because there is nothing that it could work on. Beira is just a legend, a myth, something that features in stories. And yes, people think that about a lot of magical creatures until they show up in their front garden. But this is different… This is the story of a hag. If she did exist at some point, then she’d probably been some wildly misunderstood woman with unusual powers that people had scorned and then turned into a myth over time. Not something you can ask to make it snow with a silly little ritual.
Narcissa groans and buries her face into the pillow. Tomorrow Teddy will wake up and realize that she’s lied to faer, that she’s made up a story to trick faer into being hopeful. And then fae will see her for what she really is.
A disappointment, a liar.
Narcissa pulls the silk sheets over her head as if that could drown out the voice. She’s once again overreacting, making a giant out of a pixie. She should be better than that, better at feeling in control, better at being a competent parental figure for Teddy. She’s already failed with Draco; she should at least be able to not screw it up a second time. But now she’s promised a small child that it will snow just because they performed a stupid ritual and Teddy will be so disappointed.
She wishes Hermione was here to talk her out of her spiralling thoughts. She always makes things easier somehow. Narcissa knows that Hermione would tell her to just use the floo or that dreadful muggle fone thing. But really, there is no need to burden her with silly thoughts and worries. She shouldn’t have to rely on her girlfriend to be able to function like a normal person, to not be constantly overwhelmed by her worries.
Please. She thinks, foolishly. Please, Cailleach, I need this to work. I’ll do everything. You can have everything you want from me.
She says it over again and again in her head until she falls asleep.
***
The next morning, she knows.
Even before opening her eyes, she knows that it hasn’t worked. She can hear the rain relentlessly drumming against the window. Strangely she doesn’t feel as worried as she’d thought she’d feel, more resigned really. Her entire body feels cold and numb, and she shivers despite the warm blanket covering her. Then something cold hits her face and melts, before running down her cheek. She opens her eyes to stare at the ceiling.
It’s snowing.
On her face.
Inside her room.
Narcissa sits up. Her entire room is covered in a thin layer of snow. A few icicles have formed on the mantelpiece. This must be a ridiculous dream, conjured up by her worries about disappointing Teddy. She lies back down, closes her eyes.
Wake up, she thinks to herself and pinches her arm for good measure. When she opens her eyes again, the snow is still there. Then her door is ripped open.
“It didn’t work, Aunt Cissy,” a small voice wails and then: “Oooohhhhh!”
Teddy, dressed in stripy pyjamas, crouches down and swipes faer hands through the snow. Then fae grabs a handful, flings it over faer head and whoops.
“This is amazing,” Teddy cries and the glee in faer voice is so overwhelming that Narcissa wakes up from her stupor. She slowly sits up, swings her legs out of the bed and places them on the cold floor. Teddy runs towards her and throws faerself into her arms.
“What in the name of Morgana’s tits is going on in here?” a voice calls, just as Narcissa flings a snowball at Teddy. Fae ducks and it hits the door frame right next to Andy’s face. Narcissa straightens up and looks at her sister. Next to her, Teddy giggles.
“We made it snow,” fae says, spreading out faer arms and turning around like a small ballet dancer.
“I can see that,” Andy says, looking at Narcissa questioningly. Before they can talk about it though, Teddy has grabbed faer grandmother’s hand and pulled her into the room.
They spend the entire morning building snowmen.
“What spell is this?” Andy asks, her voice dripping in delightful wonder, as soon as they’ve told Teddy to wash up and get dressed for breakfast.
“I don’t know,” Narcissa answers and shakes her head. “Maybe yesterday’s ritual worked in strange ways?”
Andy frowns and touches one of the icicles.
It is still snowing, the snowflakes seemingly appearing out of nowhere, gently wafting through the room as if they are carried by a gust of wind. Andy has transformed their pyjamas into coats and conjured boots, hats, and scarfs a while ago, but Narcissa still feels cold.
Andy takes out her wand, points it at the ceiling and says: “Finite incantatum”. Nothing happens. She narrows her eyes and tries a few other spells, but nothing works. Narcissa touches her arm.
“I don’t think it’s working,” she says slowly.
“Graaaaanny!” Teddy’s voice calls suddenly from outside. “I’m hungry!!!!!”
Andy sighs and looks at Narcissa. “Let’s eat something and worry about this later.” Narcissa nods. She looks around the room and her eyes land on her books, which are covered in snow, the pages soaked with water.
“Yeah, let’s worry about this later,” she mumbles and follows her sister.
When Draco comes home from work at the potion’s lab in the evening, he finds all of them, including Neville, lying on their backs in Narcissa’s room.
“We are making snow fairies, Dracy!” Teddy cries. “Come and join us!”
In the end, Narcissa has to move to another room. It doesn’t stop snowing and Teddy is absolutely thrilled. And unexpectedly, so are Andy, Neville, and Draco. Narcissa watches their happy faces, all red from the cold and decides to keep quiet, decides not to tell them how cold she’s felt all day, how none of the warming spells she’s cast seem to work on her. Because despite all of it, she’s never felt so calm and perfectly fine in her entire life.
***
When Narcissa wakes up the next morning, she isn’t even surprised to see that the guest room is now also covered in snow. She sighs and notices with interest that her breath doesn’t turn into a cloud like it usually does in cold air. Her head feels strange, like it’s filled with fog, but it’s not an entirely unpleasant feeling.
When she gets down to the kitchen, Draco is sitting on the counter laughing and licking his fingers, while Neville waves his wand over a bowl filled with cookie dough. He’s wearing an apron and there is flour on his nose.
“Good morning, mother” Draco says. He hops down and walks towards her. “You look awfully pale,” he remarks with a worried expression.
“I’m perfectly fine, darling,” Narcissa answers. “What are you making?” She points at the bowl in Neville’s hands, trying to change the subject. Draco keeps watching her with narrowed eyes.
“Sugar cookies,” Neville answers. “We thought that Teddy might like to decorate them with us later.” He flicks his wand, and the dough rolls itself out across the counter where Draco has sat just moments before.
“Something is wrong with you,” Draco states.
“Stop it, Draco,” Narcissa sighs. “I’ve told you that I’m feeling fine.”
“I made punch with orange juice and rosemary, if you’d like a cup,” Neville interjects, trying to keep the peace as always.
“Punch at 8 in the morning?” Narcissa raises an eyebrow.
“It’s non-alcoholic,” Neville laughs. “I’ll heat up a cup for you, Narcissa. There is ginger in there and cinnamon. It will make you feel better.” He claps Draco gently on the back, then brushes by her to walk over to the stove.
Narcissa wants to tell them that she’s totally fine, that they should stop making a fuss, but then Neville squeaks and she can feel the tell-tale gust of air of him falling to the ground behind her.
“Neville!” Draco shouts and before Narcissa can stop him, he runs towards his clumsy partner. Before he reaches him though, Draco starts to slide across the floor, his momentum carrying him for a few seconds. Then he loses his footing and tumbles down, right next to Neville.
“What in Salazar’s name?” Andy is standing in the kitchen door, a tired looking Teddy clutching her hand. Most of the floor has turned to ice. Neville groans and rubs the spot on his bum, where he’s fallen on. Draco just stares at Narcissa and snowflakes start to fall around her.
***
“Why haven’t you called me earlier?” Hermione asks as soon as she steps out of the fireplace. Draco and Neville exchange a guilty look and Andy tries to make herself as small as possible.
“We didn’t really know what was happening,” Draco says finally, and Hermione just narrows her eyes at him. Before she can say anything though, the flames turn green again and Theo, Harry and Ron tumble out of the fire behind her, followed by a large stack of floating books.
“Harry!” Teddy calls and runs toward faer godfather, blond curls quickly turning black. Harry picks Teddy up and whirls faer around before hoisting faer up on his shoulders.
“I heard you have a whole room of snow?” he asks and sounds nearly as excited as Teddy looks.
“Yes, it’s beautiful Harry, let me show you,” fae calls.
As they walk up towards the first floor, Hermione sidles up to Narcissa.
“Are you ok, love?” she whispers. Narcissa nods. “Of course, I’m perfectly fine. Just a bit cold.” Hermione doesn’t look convinced and opens her mouth to speak but gets interrupted by a cry of excitement from Harry.
They’ve reached Narcissa’s room if you can still call it that. The snow is so high that it reaches up to their ankles and most of Narcissa’s stuff, her books, scrolls, the embroidery materials, and paint brushes, are buried so deep under the snow you can barely make out their shapes.
Ron immediately grabs a fist full of snow and chucks it at Draco, who retaliates by flicking his wand until a whole deluge of snow falls from the canopy of Narcissa’s bed and onto Ron’s head. Teddy cackles. Hermione rolls her eyes, then proceeds to touch the snow and mutters some incantations under her breath. She looks at Narcissa and for a second there is a worried expression on her face. Theo doesn’t step inside the room at all, just watches the falling snow in silent wonder.
After visiting the guest room, which looks exactly the same as Narcissa’s room, they wander down to the kitchen, where the whole floor has now turned into a thick layer of ice. Neville decides to make them all some tea and slithers towards the kettle. Teddy keeps tucking at Andy’s arm until she transfigures faer shoes into ice skates.
“This is the best Christmas ever!” fae screeches, pirouetting around the room before bumping headfirst into the pantry door. Soon everyone is gliding across the ice, except for Hermione and Narcissa, who are sitting at the kitchen table, Hermione’s head already burrowed in one of the books she’s brought with her.
Narcissa watches as Neville, surprisingly graceful on his skates, pulls Draco across the ice and turns him around as if they are dancing. The others are playing tag with Teddy, who breaks out in laughter every time Ron manages to fall dramatically. She glances away when Harry catches Theo by his arm and draws him in for a kiss and finds Hermione watching her. She’s wrapped up in her long scarf and knitted jumper. It’s still snowing around Narcissa, and the snowflakes are clinging to Hermione’s braids for a few seconds until they melt away.
“Could you tell me what happened?” Hermione finally asks.
So Narcissa tells her everything, about the book and her idea, about how she’d never thought that it would work, how surprised she’d been when she had woken up to find her room covered in snow.
“It’s quite wonderful, really,” she says. “Look how happy they are.” She smiles and nods towards the others.
Hermione’s eyes soften. “They are,” she says. “I’m just a little bit worried about you.”
Huh. Narcissa raises an eyebrow.
“You are,” Hermione hesitates for a moment and bites her lip, “different.”
“Different how?” Narcissa asks.
“I don’t’ know,” Hermione says. “A little bit distant maybe, quiet. You haven’t chided Neville once since I’m here and when Teddy tried to hug you earlier, you just… I don’t know, didn’t even seem to notice.”
“Oh,” Narcissa says and the snowflakes around her grow heavier.
“You know you can tell me if something feels wrong,” Hermione says gently, pressing her hand against Narcissa’s cheek. It’s surprisingly warm.
“It’s not spring yet,” Narcissa says. Then she frowns at her own words. “You don’t have to worry about me, Hermione,” she continues quickly. “I feel fine. A little bit cold and numb maybe, but perfectly fine aside from that.”
“What exactly feels cold and numb?” Hermione asks.
Narcissa is not sure if she understands the question. “My body,” she says after thinking about it.
“And how do you feel?” Hermione asks. “Are you scared, because of the cold and the snow? Are you just happy, because the others are having so much fun? How does this situation make you feel?”
Narcissa looks at her. She feels… Well, she feels…
“Calm,” she answers at last. “And silent.”
“Calm and silent?”
Narcissa nods. “Like a frozen lake. It’s quite nice actually.”
“That’s great, darling,” Hermione says and looks away. Narcissa smiles. She’s right, it is great.
“Do you remember anything else?” Hermione asks after writing something down in her notebook. “Did anything else happen apart from the ritual?”
Narcissa frowns. “I don’t know. I was very worried that the ritual wouldn’t work and couldn’t sleep and then I…” she trails off, trying to remember.
“Then you did what?” Hermione asks, her voice sharpening.
“I just wished for the ritual to work. I wanted Teddy to get what fae wants. So, I thought that I would give the Cailleach everything if she made it work.”
Hermione’s jaw drops and she stares at Narcissa.
“You did what?”
Narcissa frowns. “I just told you; I made a wish-”
“Are you telling me,” Hermione interrupts her, “that you summoned an ancient elemental spirit and then promised her everything?”
Narcissa opens her mouth and closes it again. Hermione groans and buries her face in her hands.
***
Everything changes after that. Narcissa doesn’t really understand what is happening. Neville keeps bringing her blankets and teas, asking her if he can do anything to make her feel more comfortable. Narcissa shoos him away. She is perfectly comfortable in her favourite chair in the library, thank you very much, reading while the snow around her grows higher and higher. She’s realised that she can prevent the snow from falling directly on her book and smudging the letters by waving her hand ever so slightly from time to time.
Next to her, Andy is lying on the leather sofa smoking her pipe and frowning up at the ceiling. She is covered in all the blankets that Narcissa has refused and is unusually quiet. Ron and Harry are playing boardgames with Teddy in the living room across the hall. Narcissa can hear Teddy’s giggling through the open doors. At least someone is behaving normally.
At one of the tables further down, Hermione, Theo and Draco are sitting over a bunch of books and scrolls whispering to each other and gesticulating wildly. Hermione shakes her head repeatedly, while Theo pinches the bridge of his nose. Draco keeps glancing at Narcissa, face more pale than usual. She contemplates walking over to tell him to stop biting his fingernails. Instead, she stands up and walks over to the window. It’s still raining, the sun barely visible through the grey clouds. As Narcissa exhales, ice crystals spread across the glass.
“I’ll take a stroll outside,” she mutters to no one in particular, and heads for the doors.
The raindrops turn to snow as Narcissa walks through the grey landscape. Under her feet the muddy ground starts to freeze and crunch whenever she takes a step. She breathes in the cold air and listens to the sounds around her, the falling rain and the wind rustling through the trees.
“Aunt Cissy!”
She turns around and a small figure wrapped in a winter cloak runs towards her, their little red hat seemingly the only source of colour in the misty surroundings.
“What are you doing outside in this ghastly weather?” Narcissa asks as soon as Teddy reaches her. Fae shrugs.
“It’s no fun inside anymore,” fae says. Narcissa nods in agreement. They keep walking towards the forest, Teddy occasionally jumping into the frozen puddles behind her.
“I think I know why everyone is so sad and serious all of a sudden, Aunt Cissy,” Teddy says after a while.
“Is that what they are?” Narcissa wonders. “But why? I thought the snow and ice made them happy.” She stops and turns around. “It makes you happy, doesn’t it?”
Teddy looks up at the snowflakes wafting around them and catches one on faer finger. It melts. “It does,” fae says and then, just before Narcissa moves to turn around and starts walking again, fae adds: “At least, it did… for a while.”
“What do you mean?” Narcissa frowns.
Teddy looks down at the grass, biting faer lower lip. “I thought the snow was important so that Santa can find us. And I really liked building the snowmen and skating in the kitchen, but now everyone is sad and,” fae hesitates, “you are different.”
Narcissa swallows. That’s just what Hermione said to her earlier.
“Different isn’t bad,” she says and kneels in front of Teddy. “Look, I’ve learned something new.” She scoops some of the muddy water into her hand and blows on it. Ice crystals start to form on the surface of the brown water until it transforms into a piece of ice in the shape of a heart. She holds it out towards Teddy.
“It’s beautiful,” fae says, but doesn’t take it from her. “But she can leave now.”
“She?” Narcissa asks.
Teddy nods. “The Cailleach.” Fae steps closer to her and places faer hand on Narcissa’s cheek. “It was great, but it’s time for her to let you go now.”
Warmth spreads through Narcissa and her fingers and toes start to prickle, as if sparkling water is suddenly running through her veins.
“It doesn’t work that way, Teddy,” she says slowly. “I made a promise.”
“Sometimes you have to break a promise,” Teddy says.
“I don’t know if I can.” Narcissa’s voice sounds brittle and unfamiliar, and she leans into the warmth of Teddy’s hand.
“I don’t care,” Teddy says defiantly. “I won’t let the Cailleach keep you. The snow and ice are cool but walking the land in winter and then turning into a rock for months sounds really boring.”
“It’s not just the snow and the ice though,” Narcissa admits reluctantly.
“What do you mean?” Teddy asks. “Did you get other awesome powers? Can you run really fast or throw lightning?”
Narcissa shakes her head. “I’ve stopped being sad and scared all of the time,” she says.
“Oooooh,” Teddy’s eyes grow wide. “That sounds nice.”
“It is.” Narcissa nods.
“Being sad and scared sucks. I understand why you want to keep that power,” Teddy says. “I just think that the others really need you.” A worried frown appears on faer face. “Granny hasn’t stopped smoking her stupid pipe all afternoon and I know you two fight a lot, but I think she secretly likes it. She says it keeps her young, but I don’t think that’s true, because she has so many wrinkles on her face.”
Narcissa laughs despite herself and something inside her starts to thaw.
“Hermione needs you too,” Teddy continues, looking at her with a serious expression, “she’s always happier when you are around. And I think she is very scared about what is happening to you. When I left, she said that she’s going to break into the Department of Mysteries to find a time turner to save you. I think Theo wants to stop her, but Harry and Ron are on her side and you know how Gryffindors are when they do something without really thinking about it first.”
Warmth continues to spread through Narcissa’s body, and she realises with a start, just how cold she’s felt the last two days. The prickling in her limbs turns painful, like she’s touching broken glass. Teddy continues to talk, gesticulating wildly with one hand, while stroking her cheek with the other.
“And Draco needs you the most. He’s like you and never tells anyone when he’s sad. Neville is good at making him laugh, but he can’t do it alone. And he needs you to look out for him and make sure he doesn’t get strangled by devil’s snare or something like that.”
Narcissa watches as Teddy grows more solemn, glancing down at the grass and biting faer lip.
“And I need you too, Aunt Cissy,” fae whispers. “Who is going to invent stories, hunt ghost and paint all the walls in the attic with me when you are a stone?”
Something inside her chest breaks, like cracks spreading across the frozen surface of a lake. A tear rolls down her face and turns to ice, clinging to her cheek. Teddy brushes it away.
And then faer eyes grow wide. “You are crying!”
Narcissa feels like she’s emerging from water and all the sounds that were drowned out suddenly return in full strength. The image of Draco’s face appears in her head, the way he kept looking at her in the library, pale and distraught. Hermione’s look of utter horror when she’d told her about promising the Cailleach everything. Andy lying on the couch staring up at the ceiling.
“I’m so sorry, Teddy,” she whispers, more tears running down her face.
“Sorry for what?” fae asks with a frown.
“For leaving,” she says.
“You came back. You chose me,” Teddy whispers.
“I’m always going to choose you,” she says. And then Teddy moves and hugs her, faer head resting in the hollow of Narcissa’s neck. Faer breath is ghosting over her skin and Narcissa closes her eyes soaking up the warmth, listening to the soft sound so close to her ear.
“I think we should go back inside,” Teddy whispers after a while. “My feet are getting cold, and we have to stop Hermione from breaking into the Ministry.”
Narcissa chuckles, but then her heart grows heavy again. “Do you think they will be angry with me?” she asks. Teddy shrugs.
“I don’t think it’s going to be very bad. Remember when Neville accidentally set fire to the Christmas tree last year?”
Narcissa sighs. “So, your granny will give me a lecture, Hermione will write a safety protocol for future incidents and Draco will pout until I beg for forgiveness.”
Teddy nods. “Neville will just be happy to have you back.”
Narcissa smiles. “Ok then.”
And with that they walk back to the manor, surrounded by rain and mist, not a single snowflake to be seen.