19
19
Regulus is a damn good kisser, is the first thought James has when he and Regulus pull apart. The second thought is that he wants to kiss him again.
“Wow! This was better than I expected”.
James bursts out in a loud laughter. “What? Did you think I was a bad kisser?”
He can see Regulus’s cheeks going red and it’s not from the cold. He’s so cute. “That’s not… I mean, I wasn’t expecting anything, really. It was just…”.
Regulus looks even cuter with his embarrassed fumbling, and James has to restrain another laugh.
“I was messing with you”, he says, resting a hand on Regulus’s, his thumb caressing the knuckles.
“Your hand is cold”, Regulus whispers, his breath creating a little puff of ice. He takes his bare hands in his gloved ones and tries to warm them up. It’s getting colder, the temperatures are dropping for the evening.
“Don’t you have gloves?”
“I had a leather, fingerless pair, but couldn’t find them. And the cotton ones aren’t good for pushing my chair”.
“Oh”.
“It’s fine. I’ll buy a new pair”.
James can see that something is going through Regulus’s mind, but then he glances at his wristwatch and his face turns somewhat sad.
“I really need to go. I have to teach a class this evening”.
James’s heart sinks, but he knew this moment would have come eventually. He hopes that this won’t be the last time they see one another, he hopes that Regulus won’t ghost him. By the state of things, it looks unlikely, but he can never be too sure.
“But I’ll see you soon, okay?”
And that must mean something.
“I hope so”. James gives him a lopsided grin. Regulus leans forward and kisses him again. This time they don’t go deep, but the kiss lingers for a while.
James feels goosebumps on his arms under the jumper and the coat, and something that he could describe like literal butterflies inside his stomach. It excites and scares him at the same time.
“Did you come with your car?”
“Yeah, I parked nearby”.
“Can I walk you to it?”
“Of course”.
Regulus stands up and James jumps back in his wheelchair swiftly. He’s not always this quick to get back in his chair, but all that excitement and happiness for being with the other guy produced a rush of adrenaline inside of him that he could almost get up and run laps around the park. Okay, maybe not that, but that’s the feeling.
The two of them start walking quietly. Well, Regulus walks and James wheels, trying to keep the other one’s pace, but he has long, strong legs so he probably wouldn’t have a hard time keeping up with him, but James is in no hurry to get back to the car. Regulus walks with his hands in his pockets, his eyes looking ahead, so James takes advantage to stare at his lean figure, at his straight back and large shoulders. He has a dancer body, there’s no doubt about that, and James would love to see what he has to offer under all those layers of clothes.
He surely must have some toned muscles and…
Okay, James, stop it. Don’t go over there yet.
“Hey”, James calls then, lifting the silence and distracting himself from intrusive thoughts about sex. “Do you want to try something?”
“Huh?” Regulus raises an eyebrow in curiosity.
“Give me your hand”.
Regulus does so without questions. James takes his hand and wheels by his side. Regulus seems to catch on it pretty quickly and starts walking again, still holding James’s hand, who is propelling himself just like that, using the other hand just to reposition the wheelchair from time to time.
He sees a little smile on Regulus’s lips. “Wow! I didn’t know you could do that”.
“The perks of modern wheelchairs”. James winks. “Turn right”.
James puts a hand on the wheel when they reached his car. “Well, here I am. This is my car”.
“Oh”. That definitely does sound like a sad remark, but James wants to avoid getting too ahead of himself.
“So, I’d ask you if you need help, but I guess you can manage by yourself”.
James chuckles. He’s glad that Regulus is asking those questions instead of assuming or trying on his own. Also, there has never been a moment of awkwardness between them because of his disability, and James doesn’t remember the last time that happened with a stranger or a first date. Could Regulus be the right one?
James opens the car door and hoists himself in the passenger seat. He must admit that doing all of that and looking disabled in front of his newest crash is making him feel a bit vulnerable and exposed, but it is better for Regulus to know things sooner. James has decided some time ago that he isn’t going to make himself small just for the comfort of others.
Regulus takes a step back to give the other space to put the wheelchair inside.
“Do you need a ride?” James asks, taking one wheel and putting it on the side.
“No, it’s okay. I’ll take the subway. I like to have some time for myself before… Before dealing with work stuff”.
“Oh, I get it”.
When James puts the last of his wheelchair inside, Regulus pushes the door towards him but doesn’t shut it.
“I’ll call you tonight, if that’s alright”, he says.
James smiles. “I’ll be waiting then”.
Finally, Regulus closes the door and James starts the engine of the car.
“Bye, James”.
James doesn’t want to go, but it’s time. Some things taste better when they last shorter, and James is sure he and Regulus are going to meet again soon. He has no doubts now.
There is something about this guy that James doesn’t know how to place. Nothing negative or such, just a feeling that there is something more about Regulus, something that goes much deeper than the little things Regulus let slip so far. James is ready, and eager, to know everything about him, especially about this mysterious brother he’s mentioned in passing.
James can say that he has had some experience in recognizing a traumatized soul because of Sirius, and Regulus has definitely something along those lines that he’s good at hiding.
But one step at a time, right?
~•~
When James gets home, he sees his phone blowing up with messages. He hasn’t looked at it while with Regulus and hasn’t even taken it out in his car, too immersed in his excited daze.
Obviously, his friends have been tagging him and speculating about the date.
Marls: Oh my God, guys, what if lover boy kidnapped James?
Peter: Should we call the cops?
Lily: guys, can you calm down? James can take care of himself.
Sirius: I’ve got my weapons ready if we need to go rescue Jamie.
Remus: by weapons, he means a baseball bat that he somehow wants to wrap up in
barbwire because he saw too much of The Walking Dead.
Sirius: MOONY!!!
Remus: What? It’s true.
James chuckles under his breath and wheels towards the kitchen table where he left a glass with water. He takes a sip.
James: Appreciate the worries, guys, but all’s good.
Sirius: JAMIE!
Marls: Oh so you’ve not been kidnapped.James: No kidnapping.
Lily: Don’t mind them. How was the date?
James takes a deep breath and starts typing out some words, but his fingers hover over the send button, hesitating. He is unsure about how much to reveal to his friends, not because he doesn’t trust them but because he still wants to keep the whole thing private, mostly out of superstition. Even though things went very well with Reg, he still has some underlying fear that he can’t shake off. It’s hard to heal from certain traumas.
James: It was good.
Mary: Just good?
Marlene: It means that it went badly.
Sirius: I’m preparing my bat.
James: No, guys, the date went well. We had a couple of drinks, chatted a bit, he
accompanied me to my car…
Lily: Oh *-*
Sirius: Can we know his name now?
James: ;))))
Sirius: WHAT DOES THAT MEAN, JAMES FUCKING POTTER??????
James: hehehehe XD
His phone pings with a private message. His heart hops at the prospect that it might be Regulus. It’s Sirius though.
Sirius: Can you at least tell me, please???? Pretty please???
Sirius’s message is accompanied by a line of praying hands emojis.
James takes another breath. He loves Sirius more than anyone, but he can be really annoying when it comes to minding other people’s business, especially James’s business. He just hopes he doesn’t take James’s refusal to reveal Regulus’s name personally.
James: I’m sorry, Pads, you’ll have to wait too, this time. Don’t take it the wrong way but
I just want to go slow, keep things a bit more private, at least for some time. At least
until me and HE can understand where things are going, ‘kay?
Sirius’s answer doesn’t wait too long to arrive.
Sirius: I understand. Don’t worry.
James: It’s nothing personal, really.
Sirius: I know, Jamie. I trust you. I know you have your legitimate reasons. And I’m fine
with it.
James: Thank you, Pads.
Sirius: Always.
No matter what, James decides that he will give his friend a call later just to check in that things are actually fine.
But right now he needs to change his clothes. He can’t stop smiling, thinking of the date, thinking of Regulus. He really hopes that the guy will call him later, as he promised. And if he doesn’t, James isn’t going to do it. It’s time for him to be the one who is chased, instead of the one who does the chase.
He wheels himself back to the kitchen and puts on a pot full of water on the stove. Pasta will do for dinner. Then, he takes hisAirPods and calls Sirius.
“Prongs!” Sirius utters in his ear. If Sirius was ever to turn into a dog, he’d be a Labrador, James thinks. The most friendly, obnoxious and happy breed of dogs.
“Hey, Pads. What’s up?”
“Just about to have dinner with Moony. You?”
“Same. But without Moony”.
“Well, maybe soon you’ll have romantic dinners with your lover boy”.
James chuckles. “About that. You know it’s nothing against you that I don’t want to tell you his name”.
“Jamie, don’t worry. I understand your reasoning. Besides, I know I’ll be the first one to know eventually”.
That’s not a lie.
“Of course”.
James can hear Remus saying something in the background, probably to Sirius.
“Okay, I’ll let you to your romantic dinner. Talk soon”.
“Sure thing”.
“Bye, James!”
“Remus says bye”.
“Bye, Moony”.
James hears the click on the other side and puts aside his phone. The water is boiling, so he puts the pasta in.
~•~
James is sitting in front of his computer, skimming through several different webpages, trying to occupy his mind with anything that isn’t Regulus. He keeps looking at his phone, fearing that he might miss the call— even though he has his ringtone on, and he’s been tempted to text him a couple of times but somehow resisted that urge.
And right when James has been focused on an article for five minutes straight, his phone suddenly starts to ring, loud and clear, and James almost jumps on his chair.
He grabs the phone and reads Regulus’s name. Relief and happiness flood over his body. But he lets it ring a couple of times just to not give the impression that he’s been waiting near the phone all this time.
“Hi”.
“Hey!”
“You good?”
“Yeah, just finished dancing class with the teens”.
James can hear a bit of chaos on the other side, the chaos that reminds him of the tube. Regulus must be calling as he’s still outside.
“How did it go?”
“Good. But I’m really tired”.
“Are you going to be home soon?”
“In ten minutes”.
James leans against the backrest of his chair and smiles. “You know, I had a really good time with you today”.
“Me too”. Regulus doesn’t hesitate when he says that. “So, I was thinking…”.
James listens carefully.
“Would you like to meet tomorrow too? I would like… I mean, I could come to your place and cook something. Let’s say… For dinner? If you’re free, of course. Unless, it’s too soon. I mean, I don’t want to invite myself to your home—”.
James can’t believe his ears. “Reg”, he interrupts the other guy. “Of course I would like to meet you tomorrow. And dinner sounds perfect”. He yells a little yeah inside his head.
“Okay then. Text me your address and… Se you tomorrow”.
When the call ends, James remains staring at the dark screen of his computer with an idiotic smile plastered on his face.