The Stranger, The Man, and the leaf
If I was the center of gravity,
Why would you let it all fall from me?
If I was the balance to everything,
How could you keep me from reasoning?
After three long months of endless days and blazing suns, Remus nearly slipped into a euphoric comma when he emerged from his flat one early Saturday morning and a cool breeze blew a leaf into his path.
The leaf was only slightly browned, nothing compared to the dark hues to come, but it was all Remus needed to know that his suffering had come to an end.
No more sweltering days and sunburnt skin, no more sand stuck between toes and in inconvenient cracks, no more sickly looks or snide remark’s over his long sleeves and pants, no more making excuses and spewing lies.
For the next 4 blissful months, it was sweaters and books and countless cups of tea and coffee and hot chocolate and whatever beverage his heart desired. It was falling leaves and anticipated holidays and blankets galore and binging movies until his eyes fell out.
For Remus, the falling leaf was all the longings of a dead poet brought to life and compacted into a few inches of damp forestry.
For the stranger who was jogging down the street, it was a disgraceful inconvenience and entirely at fault for the slip he took.
Now Sirius had nothing against fallen leaves, but he did have a newfound hatred for that particular fallen leaf. It was, after all, entirely the leafs fault he winded up splat on the ground in-front if a very attractive person at 8:05 in the morning.
Entirely the leafs fault, because Sirius always looked where he was going and didn’t stare at tall men in worn sweaters who clutched old books to their chests like shields with fingers much too attractive to be just fingers.
No, Sirius was responsible to his core, especially when running from slightly peeved officers because apparently temporary nudity for the validity of proving a point is, as some would say, illegal? What had the world come to?
But unfortunately, when the man stumbled over the object that was suddenly in his way, said object being Sirius himself of course, causing Remus to spill his coffee and bruise his arm - he would like it make known to book lovers everywhere that he did not drop his book and it came through perfectly unscathed-, he didn’t think the leaf was at fault. In fact, he had the audacity to assume it was Sirius.
“Oi!” His voice was slightly foggy with the traces of sleep and distinctly pissed. “What the bloody fuck do you think you’re doing?” He tried to pull himself into a sitting position but only ended up more conjoined with Sirius’ sprawled from.
“Lying on the ground,” Sirius replied cheekily, and then at the annoyed look the man gave him added, “Why? Did you want to do something different?”
Remus was thourghly annoyed. “Murdering you might be a nice change of pace.”
For some odd reason, this seemed to delight the stranger even further. “So long as it’s strangulation. May I put in a last request?”
“What makes you think you get one?”
Here he was, at an unholy hour of the morning, lying on the sidewalk with this ridiculous stranger inquiring after his willingness to strangle him like the concrete had suddenly become some perverted sex fest.
“Your over all kind and sentimental aura?” This earned Sirius another glare, just going to show how homely and sweet the man was. “But hey, I’m the one who’s dyeing here, cut me some slack.”
Remus found that rather ironic.
“Hate to break it to you, but when you’re dying, ‘slack’ doesn’t exactly get the job done.”
The stranger gave a maniacal shake of his head. “Oh you sick bastard.”
“I may be sick but I can live with it.” Remus began stalking off.
“Hey! Aren’t you at least the tiniest bit interested in what my last request would be?”
Remus could tell immediately this was a man who needed people to be interested in him, to care what he thought or at least pretend they did and make it known. Every person had a fatal flaw and it was clear as day this man’s was an innate need for validation, attention.
“Why, because you’re so interesting and deep and what you would ask for on your death bed will send philosophers into spiraling search’s for as long as you’re dead?”
“I’m so glad you get it.” His unyielding enthusiasm was making Remus sick. As was the grin he kept, well, grinning.
“No. Not particularly.”
“That’s ok, you don’t need to ask. I’ll tell you.”
“How generous of you,” Remus scoffed, eyes rolling familiarily.
“Exactly! My last request would be, drum roll please,” The stranger paused in expectant suspense.
Remus did not drum roll.
“…for you to give me your number and let me take you out on a date! Ta-Da!”
“That would be counterproductive. Because you’re dead.
“So if I wasn’t dying, you might give me a chance?”
“hmmm… maybe a pitty shot.”
“Perfect! Because I’m not dying so therefore you can date me! Win win!”
“Wrong. We’re all dying, in some cynical way or another. And since it was your dying wish, I require you to be a little more dead before I grant it.”
Theres an absence of babbling for a contented moment, during which remus had the gull to home the strangers left when
“There!”
“What?”
“There! I’m closer to dying, because - as you so optimistically put it - we’re all dying. Well mr man, I’m pleased to announce I am much closer to dying then I was 53 seconds ago and therefore in perfect condition to date. Even if it is a dying pity wish.”
Remus stopped his fervent pacing and turned sharply on his heel to face this strange man, who had previously been struggling to keep up with his gallant pace, and now almost ran into him for the second time that morning.
“You know, you’re quite annoying,” Remus scanned the man before him, articulating every detail, wether it was to his own free will or not.
“It just adds to my charm,” Sirius shot him a toothy grin yet again.
“Must need an ungodly amount of charm to contradict what you lack in hight,” Remus was walking again, Sirius hastening to keep up.
“I’m an atheist, actually. And besides, no amount of height could replace the character I have compacted into all 5’6 of me.”
“Maybe not, but a few inches wouldn’t hurt.”
“You know, there are much more direct ways to get me to sleep with you, Remus.”
Why that cheeky little bastard. Remus didn’t want to sleep with this man. But of course, he couldn’t say that. He was sure this stranger could find anyway to twists his words into proprietors of mischievous insinuations.
But then another idea struck him.
“Are those the cops?”
And just as he suspected, the stranger whipped around, frantically scanning the empty concrete behind them. And while he searched futilely for his mysterious pursuers, Remus, for lack of a more esteemed connotation, ran the fuck away.
Unfortunately, the strangers attention span was just as short as it seemed to be and he soon spun back around, having concluded that there were in fact no cops, ready to tease the tall man senseless for his failing eyesight, and was faced with the absence of his intended assailant.
Yet again, unfortunately, for fortune is a fickle thing indeed, the tall man was not as fast as he seemingly hoped he was, and Sirius, hard trained in the art of the chase, did just that. He took off down the street after the steadily disappearing figure of Remus Lupin.
Now, reluctantly, Sirius had his parents’ unyielding insistence that Regulus and he run for the sake of 'physical health' - though it was always Sirius’ belief that it was only so they could find ways to inflict a very specific type of pain on their beloved sons, and come out with cross country trophies as a bonus (Regulus and Sirius were surprisingly fast, when they wanted to be) - to thank for the fact that he even managed to catch the guy before he mysteriously disappeared forever.
“How… Cinderella.. of.. you,” While he may have once been estemley fit, any sense of athleticism had long since evaporated and Sirius was left heaving breaths. Smugly, he noticed Remus wasn’t exactly completely relaxed himself, and as a result his pace had slowed.
“Well, if that makes you Prince Charming I’d like a different story please.”
“Oh I can tell you plenty of bed time stories, Remus, if you’ll let me,” He was back to grinning again.
Remus was saved from formulating something insulting and biting in reply by an actual police car turning the corner.
The stranger (Remus still had no idea what his name was and was throughly perplexed how he knew his) turned, if possible, even paler then before and consequently hid behind Remus, which wasn’t difficult giving the drastic hight difference. Remus found this, along with everything else the man seemed to do, highly annoying. Yet as annoying as he was, Remus was nothing if not curious.
He refrained from opening his mouth until the police car had turned down the street a few blocks ahead and then he just couldn’t help but ask,
“Wha’d you do?”
“Either robbed a bank or pulled some Robin Hood worthy stunt. Which ever the prosecutor fancies.”
“I’d go with elaborate bank heist. Gives you more character. And Robin Hood’s too cliche nowadays,” Remus began walking again, enjoying the cold breeze and chilly sun, desperately craving another coffee.
“Precisely.” A slight color and his seemingly permanent grin returned as the man walked along besides Remus.
“Whats your name? And don’t say something sexual, it’s not gonna help your chances any better than that haircut,” Remus said, cutting off Sirius who opened his mouth seemingly to do just that.
“Sirius.”
“Yes, I’m always serious.”
“No, Sirius.”
Remus began to wonder if the man was lacking something until he realized it was he himself who was missing the point.
“Oh. Well that’s a rather unfortunate name.”
“Tell me about it. That’s why I’ve made it my life’s goal to be the absolutely must unserious person in the history of the world. Redefine the word if you please.”
“Well don’t let me stop you miss Jane Austen.”
They walked in silence for about 23 seconds before Remus processed what the fuck he was doing.
Why was he walking with a stranger at almost 8:30- Shit. Shitshitshit. It was 8:42. He was supposed to get to the bookshop at 8:30 to have time to clean and restock before 9, when the store opened.
He checked his watch and calculated that if he ran he could make it there by 8:45.
So that’s exactly what he did.
And maybe because he was bored, maybe because he was curious, or maybe because he simply couldn’t help it, as if remus was the center of gravity, Sirius took off after him.