new friends
Both Sirius and Remus were able to get off work early today. It doesn’t happen often, well really it depends on Remus since Sirius makes his own schedule, but still. It’s not that frequent. But today they do so they are meeting at a cafe for the afternoon and then going out for dinner before having a nice night in. Most nights are nice and spent at home, but having a dedicated little date night is better.
They both love to do that. This time Remus planned dinner, and hopefully a dessert as well, so he’s just along for the ride. Whenever Sirius is the one to make the plans, dessert is the main event. It’s better than dinner in his professional opinion, so why not make a night of it. Once he took them to a restaurant but only for their selection of desserts which included a chocolate lava cake, a salted caramel truffle, and an insanely delicious donut. No dinner, just the sweets.
He leaves the tattoo shop today before it closes, but one of the other artists is staying for a later appointment and will close up. Before leaving Sirius changes into a slightly nicer outfit, a button up black satin shirt in exchange for his t-shirt, though he keeps on the jeans he was already wearing. They likely aren’t going to a fancy place, they rarely do, so this works perfectly well. The cafe they frequent is just down the road so he walks over there, getting there a little earlier than they had agreed on.
About ten minutes after he walked in, the door chimes again and Remus is standing there looking around the room for him. He’s just off to the side, waiting to order until he got here. Instead of walking to him, his attention is caught by something else and walks straight to the line of people instead of to Sirius. With a slight huff, because why is he paying attention to not him, he walks over to meet him instead of waiting.
Remus is there chatting to someone standing at the back of the line that he doesn’t know. Sneaking up on him, Sirius slips his arms around his waist, locking his fingers in front. He doesn’t say anything silly like guess who, because of course it’s him. And if he didn’t already know, the tattoos and painted nails now in Remus’ view are a dead giveaway.
“Hi sweetheart. I didn’t see you were already here.” He pulls him around to his side.
“Well you hardly looked. You came right over to…” Sirius gestures to the brown skinned man with glasses that is turned toward them.
“Oh hi! I’m James, went to uni with Remus, not sure if you knew that or not.” He smiles and waves.
Oh right, sometimes he forgets that Remus does have other friends that they don’t share. Not that there’s a problem with it, he just doesn’t always remember. They see each other every once in a while but somehow over the years Sirius still hasn’t met him. If he was worried at all about his own relationship, he might be worried that Remus would be attracted to him. He’s quite pretty in a very soft way. The same cuteness you see in puppies. But he’s very sure Remus only has eyes for him.
“Nice to finally meet you, yeah he’s mentioned you before. I’m Sirius.” He stays glued to Remus’ hip, but settles into a friendly smile. “The boyfriend.”
It’s not meant to come off as territorial, but can he really help himself? No never. They all fall into easy conversation and somehow Sirius instantly feels like they are old friends. There’s a comfort in it, though they have never met before. He seems like just the kind of guy he would want to be friends with. Now that they’ve actually met, he’s sure they will see each other again. The two are catching up and laughing about something that Sirius doesn’t tune into.
“We need to hang out soon.” Remus says before they get up to the counter to order.
“Yes definitely! I feel like I’ve been all over the place recently.”
In true Sirius fashion, he inserts himself back in without warning. “We’re getting dinner soon, would you want to join? Or we can sit and talk over coffee now. I would love to hear what stories you have of him from uni.”
“Oh I wish I could. Are you free this weekend? I think Saturday afternoon I’m free. I just have to run right from here.” James happily tries to find a time that works.
They look at each other and Remus nods. “Yeah that works for us. I’ll text you, yeah?”
“Perfect!” He pulls his phone out, quickly typing something and turning just in time to order. “Could I please get a small vanilla latte and er- a medium iced coffee? No milk or sugar. That’s all, thank you!”
Remus orders both of their drinks as well, an iced coffee for Sirius and tea for himself. While they wait they stand with James still and continue talking. “Who is the other coffee for? Got someone to meet?”
“Bringing it to my boyfriend. He’s ah- he’s a bit stressed right now and I’ve told him that coffee is not going to help with that, but he insists.” James rubs the back of his neck as he talks.
“Excuse me, since when do you have a boyfriend?” Remus stares at him, and well now Sirius is interested. He loves knowing about other people’s lives even if they don’t affect him at all.
“I haven’t mentioned him? Oh well, it’s been about.. Nearly six months I think. Can’t believe I never told you. No one else can get me to shut up about him…” He tries to hide a smile, but he fails. The barista calls his name for his drinks, so he steps away for a second. “I’ll see you soon, but I need to get back now!”
Once their drinks are ready they find a cozy table off to the side and settle in. It’s only four, so they have at least an hour and a half, probably two hours before they need to head to the restaurant. That depends on where it is, and Remus isn’t telling, so he can only assume. His coffee tastes good as usual. It’s not likely to keep him up late tonight since caffeine doesn't always have a huge effect on him, but he is tired after three very long appointments today at work.
He looks up and finds Remus looking at him. More like staring. Again, he won’t complain. Sirius loves to be looked at by him. Maybe he wore his shirt with not so many of the buttons actually fastened for this exact reason. Barely any of his tattoos peak out right now, though when he moves his shirt sometimes shows the one by one of his collarbones. A date, not that he ever talks about why he has it. There’s quite a few tattoos that he refuses to talk about, but it’s a comfort to him that he has them. A lot of his other ones are covered up, he has a bunch of sticker like tattoos up his arm and a few on his legs too.
“James seems nice, I think he and I would get on well.” He mentions after taking another sip.
“Honestly I can’t believe I hadn’t introduced you two yet. He’s great. Not sure I would have survived uni without him.”
“Well, now that I have met him. He’ll never be able to get rid of me. You know that better than anyone, once I’m in your life, I’m in your life forever.” He doesn’t leave anymore, he never will again.
That’s a lot to say, but he means it. He regrets leaving. Well, no that’s not entirely correct. He regrets leaving how he did. Sirius had to get out, he desperately needed to, so he did. But he should have done it better, not at the first chance he saw. He shouldn’t have left his brother. So now he doesn’t leave. Everyone now knows him to be loyal, sometimes to a fault, but everyone can count on him. He’s reliable. He’s always there when someone needs him. He simply won’t leave.
“I know.” Remus laughs lightly. “I’ll text him right now to plan something. He’s fun and now that I think about it you two will become friends probably instantly. I can feel it. You’re really quite similar.”
“It also seems you two have some catching up to do. I’m interested to hear about his boyfriend now too. Should we see if James wants to bring him too?” He suggests.
“I’ll bring it up. I want to meet him too. James didn’t have any partners for very long, just little flings here and there. So six months is a lot for him.”
The sun sets by the time they finish their drinks and from where they are sitting there is a nice view of the sunset. Not fully, the buildings across the road block the horizon, but it’s still pretty. Sirius loves this time of day. He’s usually winding down, relaxing, just existing. In the last few years he has gotten better at enjoying down time. At letting himself breathe. It took time to get there. A long time.
After years, a whole life, of constantly being in fight or flight mode, he really had to put in work to unlearn that. Sunsets were one of the first things he used to do that. They still ease him. He tries to watch the sunset every day if he can. Sometimes it’s hard or the weather is bad or he’s busy, but it’s a good routine. He had to force it at first. Force himself to sit and just breathe. There’s a park overlooking the city that he would go to most days, whenever he could get there during the first year or so, that had the best views. Nothing else mattered while he was there. Nothing could get to him.
Breathing is instinctual. It’s one of those things that you just do. Most people don’t ever have to teach themselves how to breathe. Sirius did. One day, weeks after leaving, he got out of breath while just sitting in a cafe. It was a new cafe in a different part of the city, but he was still convinced someone would walk through the doors to drag him home and punish him for running away. That didn’t happen. That never happened. So he decided then that he needed to figure out how to be a person again.
That started with breathing. Which came with watching the sunset. Even if for the rest of the day he was panicked about things that wouldn’t ever happen or too caught in his head about what he could have done differently, at least he had an hour or so around sunset to just watch the colours of the sky change. After a while, he didn’t need sunset in order to breathe or clear his mind. It just became easier. Not always, but most of the time he is okay now.
“It’s a pretty one today.” Remus says looking out the window, nudging him.
“It is. The last few days have been a little too cloudy for a good one.”
He hums. “We should get going now. Dinner is a little ways away. Maybe a twenty minute walk.”
As soon as they walk out the door and it chimes behind them, Remus’ hand is in his. It’s a comfort to always be connected. He never thought he would be someone who was overly touchy in public, and this isn’t exactly all that much, but he has become that person. Sirius would have his hands on him at all times if he could.
They wind through a few streets and then walk down one for the rest of the walk. When they get to the restaurant, it’s one that they have been to a time or two before. That makes it easier, he won’t have to really think about what to get to eat. Normally he likes to check the menu before going anywhere, though he trusts Remus to do the same and make sure he’ll like something wherever they go. The host walks them to their table and hands them both menus and leaves them be.
This is a part of the city that he has always liked. It’s closer to where he grew up than where they live now, but not too close. It’s been a long time, but he’s pretty sure there is an ice cream place he and his cousins would sneak out to go to sometimes not far from here. Maybe even just around the corner. Sirius doesn’t think he’s mentioned it before, but maybe that’s where Remus planned to have dessert after. Remus knows how much of a sweet tooth his boyfriend has.
Dinner is nice, any time spent with Remus is nice to him though. Today really isn’t anything special, no anniversary or important day. The next one they have coming up for either of them is Sirius’ birthday but that’s still almost a month away. It’s a big birthday coming up, he’s turning 25. Not an age he ever really expected to see when he was younger, but it’s almost here. Some of their friends are older, so he isn’t the first to reach it, but still. It’s weird.
They each get a plate of food for themselves, but once Sirius is full, his plate slides across the table and is finished by Remus. That’s how it usually goes. He can eat at least double the portion size of any entree but for Sirius it depends on the day. Today he ate a late lunch just based on when he had time for a break, so he’s content with a smaller dinner.
“So, dessert?” He asks after downing the last drop of his wine.
“I thought you were full.”
“We’ve been over this baby… Two stomachs, one for food and one for dessert.”
Remus shakes his head and laughs. “Oh of course. I forgot you’re insane and can’t go to bed without something sweet.”
“You’re sweet enough. But I do also require dessert. You read the terms and conditions before we started dating.” He deadpans.
“Mmm may have skimmed those. Can you give them to me again? May need to reevaluate this relationship.”
Sirius brings his hand to his chest, acting as if he has been stabbed. “You wound me! Sorry, it’s binding and there are no takes backsies allowed anyway. So… Dessert?”
They pay the bill as soon as the waiter comes back around. Remus picks up his own jacket and then puts Sirius’ on for him, before collecting his hand in his once again and leading him out. They walk down the street, though it's a cobblestone walkway that’s blocked off to cars, so they have more space. There are other people walking in all directions, many of which holding hands just like them. It’s autumn but a warmer day for the season, so the walk is nice.
A few minutes later they end up in front of the ice cream shop that he knew was right here. Memories fill his mind and at least with this, unlike a lot of things, he’s only thinking about the good ones right now. Most of the times they came here as kids it was to escape bad days and nights in their houses. The eldest two would help them sneak out through their windows and then find ways to get them back inside after. As far as Sirius knows their parents never found out.
It was Andromeda’s idea at first and as soon as she got Bellatrix on board, they knew that between the five of them they could pull it off. He doesn’t even remember what the ice cream tasted like, all he knew back then was that it tasted better than the loneliness and dread of being stuck in their rooms hiding from their mother. It could be the worst ice cream in the world for all he knows.
“Ice cream?”
“Hang on.” Sirius absently says, pulling out his phone.
He snaps a picture of the shop and sends it immediately to Andy. Mostly hoping that she will also remember it. Sirius hasn’t lived all that far from here since leaving home, but when he did leave he could never bring himself to go back to any of his old places. He should have, maybe his brother was at all of them looking for him. But he needed space, he needed a fresh start. Before he puts his phone back in his pocket, his cousin has already responded.
Sirius [20:47]: *picture* remember this place?
Andy [20:48]: Oh my god yeah! Is it still good? It’s been so long since I thought about that
Sirius [20:48]: i’ll let you know :) we should come back if it is or even if its not
“What are you doing?” Remus nudges him.
So he explains it all. Not everything in detail about why they would come, but he knows most of that already. He’s never had a problem telling people about the majority of his past. Especially not Remus. It’s good to be able to talk about it, it’s part of the healing. Some parts may never heal and Sirius has mostly come to terms with that. He wishes he could make things right and feel okay about everything with his brother, but he won’t. That’s all on him anyway.
At least he has Andromeda now. He can talk about the things that no one else would understand. Though he hasn’t even attempted to talk about his brother with her yet. They’ve talked about them both leaving and what came after for them, and how things were before, but not him. He doesn’t even know where to start with that. Would it even be okay to tell her about him? That he’s his brother? Would he want that? It hurts him to think how little he knows of him now. They used to be so close.
Remus doesn’t push him to say any more than he wants to. Right now and always. It’s always up to him how much of his past he wants to mention, which is great. Especially when he starts talking about something and then shuts down mid topic, sometimes mid sentence. It’s easier for him to do that than to spiral about something he no longer has control over. That happens a lot, but he keeps it to himself. Easier than talking through it.
“So ice cream? We can go somewhere else if you want to.”
Right now though, it’s okay. “Here’s good. Good memories.”
“Okay good. What do you want? I only want a small scoop of chocolate.”
“I’ll have a scoop of cookies and cream and then a scoop of chocolate on a cone.” He smiles, knowing that he’s about to get shit for only eating half of his dinner and now eating probably more than that amount in ice cream. What can he say, he just prefers ice cream. But at least he’s eating, he’ll never really get told off, even playfully, for that.
“Yeah, alright sweetheart.” Remus kisses his temple and then orders at the counter.
They find a bench just a few paces away to sit and enjoy. It’s nice enough to stay and eat, but it’s still a little chilly. That keeps his ice cream from melting and dripping from the cone down his hand though. Somehow they still manage to finish eating practically at the same time. He suspects Remus took his time so that he wouldn’t feel bad and try to eat faster. Not that he would have, well okay maybe he would have, but still. It’s nice.
He knows him so well. Sirius never really thought he would have this. Definitely nothing like the relationship he has with Remus. He’s beyond lucky. Love was never something he knew or understood, but now he does. That’s not to say that they don’t still have arguments, or that they never fight until they can’t anymore. He’s good at that. He can do the messy and the loud, that was never something he had to learn. That’s just who he is. Where he came from.
But he did have to learn how to do the gentle. Just like he taught himself how to breathe again, he had to figure out how to treat things with care. Remus helped, he knew from just being friends all of his rough edges and he took the time to show him love. Maybe that’s part of why it took time for them to go from friends to what they are now, he needed to know how to do this first. A lot of their relationship is gentle and soft, sometimes that scares him. Wondering if this is just the calm before the storm. So far it’s not, it’s just how they are.
In the beginning he would pick fights. Maybe to test if it was all conditional, if he had to be perfect in order to be worthy of his love. That’s how things were with his parents, he would only be treated nicely if he was perfect. Though he never was. Even when they fight, Remus never lets him think it’s the end. A fight is just a blip, it’s a moment not forever. Nights like these, which frankly are most nights, remind Sirius how good things are.
It makes him feel a little guilty sometimes. He only has this because of who he is and what he did. If he had never left, he wouldn’t have his friends, he wouldn’t have Remus. He wouldn’t be happy. But he would still have his brother.
Is he happy? Did he find all of this for himself? If he was able to get out, Sirius knows that he would have found a way to have everything. They all did, at least in his mind they do. Andromeda is proof, she has Ted and a full and happy life. Sirius has it. He’s sure that his other cousins found what they needed to. It would just be nice, it would be comforting, to know that his brother got there too.
Even if it’s not with him.
“Thinking about the past?”
“Aren’t I always?” He laughs, but it’s not really a joke.
“It’s okay. You know that right?” Remus says without needing any context.
Sirius smiles for real this time. “How do you always know what I’m thinking? I’m really lucky I have you.”
“You always have me. I’m lucky I found you.”
“I love you, you know.” Sirius says, just because.
“Oh I know.” He teases. “I love you.”
When Saturday rolls around, Sirius finds that he’s excited to really get to hang out with James. Mostly he wants to find out what embarrassing things he knows about Remus because there have to be stories he hasn’t told himself. Plus he has been in a good mood recently and has been up for spending time with people. That usually comes and goes in waves, which is okay. He doesn’t always have to be the life of the party, he can take time for himself when he needs to.
Today though, he has one client coming in for a simple tattoo touch up and then he’s free. So James is coming over to hang out in the afternoon. The plan, according to Remus, is to chill and maybe order in food and watch TV or just talk. Whatever they’re feeling, but he’s coming over around 2. It’s quite cold when he leaves the flat this morning, so an afternoon lounging around in the coziness of the flat sounds absolutely perfect.
Annoyingly so, this client got their tattoo elsewhere. They usually come to Sirius for their pieces, but this one they got while traveling, and of course it’s messed up. So they want him to touch it up and really just make it look better. He was supposed to have the day off, but one appointment in the morning is manageable. It does go by quickly at least. They’re good to talk to and have a lot to share about their recent trip.
Sirius just gets in the zone for the whole thing as music plays in the background and they talk. It takes about an hour in all, and the work looks amazing when he’s done. It will look even better once it heals, even if the base of it was done poorly by someone else. He knows he’s good at what he does, so really that’s all that matters.
Once he’s done, he gives the keys to the manager staying for the rest of the day and then heads home. Stopping to get coffee on the way even though he just finished the one he got before coming in to the shop. If Remus asks, he’ll just say it's the same one from earlier and he hadn’t finished it yet.
Last minute he remembers what James had ordered when they first met the other day, so he gets that for him and tea for Remus. This might win him some bonus points and make a good impression on hopefully a new friend. Not that he needs to because they already seem to get on well, but it’s still a nice thing to do. It’s been a while since he’s made any new friends. This is a bit of a stretch though, since he’s already Remus’ friend. The majority of time he just stays within their circle of friends which has gotten quite big over the years.
He’s excited. From the little interaction they had, he’s already sure he’s going to grow close to James. Had they met on their own they would definitely click instantly. It’s just a gut feeling he has. There’s something about him that draws him in, like they’re meant to be friends. Maybe that’s stupid, but he doesn’t really care. Sirius spent far too much of his life expecting the worst, never able to be happy. So now he takes whatever he can get and even lets himself hope for the best sometimes. Within reason.
Once in the building, he digs around his bag for his keys that somehow always fall to the bottom of the bag. As he’s searching he can hear voices in the flat, even though it’s earlier than they had planned for James to come over. He’s pretty sure it’s him. The door opens and he’s right, he’s already here. And he’s sipping on his own cup of coffee already, and Remus has tea.
“Oh, hi! I picked up coffee…” He laughs.
“Great minds think alike.” James smiles at him, gesturing to him to come join them where they’re sitting on the floor by the coffee table.
“Really? More coffee? Is this going to be your third?” Remus rolls his eyes.
“You are not going to like my answer. Now, James!” He plops down and turns his focus on the newcomer. “Tell me everything about yourself and then tell me everything about that one.”
He laughs and dives right in. Starting with the beginning. Literally. James actually tells an overview of his life starting with his birth (he’s only a few months younger than Sirius), his full name (he also has his father’s name as his middle name), and his life growing up. Unlike Sirius he had a loving family, though no siblings. He was very close to his mum and dad. They did everything for their son starting with moving to the UK from India.
It doesn’t take long for him to give an overview on his childhood and all of the activities he did and which parts of the UK he has lived in, mostly the countryside until he reached secondary school and they moved to London, and he starts to slow the storytelling once he reaches university.
“Want me to keep going or shall we trade off first?” He genuinely asks, to which Sirius gestures for him to continue. “Right, so I started uni and met Remus practically right away. He was walking out of the bathrooms and he,” James laughs as he gets through the sentence. “He was trying to carry all of his things while also holding up the towel around his waist and let's just say… he failed.”
“Oi! My towel stayed around me. I just dropped my other things to save my dignity.” Remus jumps in.
“Doesn’t sound like you saved that either, baby.”
Instead of responding to his boyfriend, Remus aims his glare at James. “For every story you tell about me, I will find your boyfriend and tell him two about you. This is a threat.”
“As if he hasn’t heard all of them already. You can’t embarrass me in front of him.”
“I can sure as hell try Potter.” He challenges. “Now that you bring him up though, I am dying to hear about him. Is it anyone from uni, would I know him?”
“Nah I met him after uni but through my friend Evan, I don’t think you know him either. Anyway, his name is Regulus, Reg, and he’s… okay, well he’s not the nicest. Most people think he’s a bit mean, but he’s just guarded. Once you get past that, well he’s the best. He’s everything to me. I love him a lot.” James rambles, and he tries to follow though all of this is new so it’s a lot of words just passing through Sirius’ head.
His eyes light up as he talks about his boyfriend. The same way that Sirius’ own light up when talking about Remus. Or even just thinks of him for that matter. It’s sweet and a little sickening but in the best way. Everyone deserves to have love like that. He really believes that and wants it for everyone.
“After only a few months? Oh you’re a goner.” Remus jokes. “So what’s he like, what does he do?”
“He’s an author and god, he’s incredible. His writing is so poetic and beautiful. Hold it Remus, I know what you’re going to say. I know I’m not the biggest reader but after I read his first book, I am a changed man.”
“What’s he written? Would I have read them?”
“I don’t think so, I can loan you my copies if you want! His fifth one comes out soon too. I finally got to read the finished version of it the other day, and it’s just as good. Maybe even the best one in the series.” James carries on rambling about his boyfriend.
So this must be what Sirius sounds like when he talks about Remus. He knows their friends have complained about it before, and honestly he still doesn’t see a problem with it. It’s love, that’s not something to hide or shove down. Love should be something to talk about. No one should feel bad for it.
He doesn’t mind in the slightest, in fact it’s fun to hear about other people’s lives. James clearly has a lot to say, and his boyfriend does sound like a great guy. Maybe a little blunt by the sounds of it, but a genuine loving person. Maybe he just has a hard time letting his guard down. Sirius knows all about that. After growing up in the house he did, he understands the obstacles people have to face trying to just live a normal life.
Shutting people out is sometimes the easiest option. He’s done it before, he’s bound to do it again. Maybe his boyfriend just had a similar situation, or maybe something different entirely, that brought him to be the way he is. Either way it doesn’t really matter. He’s happy and they love each other, everything else is secondary. Well for Remus and Sirius that’s the case, but it seems like James understands that too.
“I just talked about me for too long, Sirius, what do you do? What do you like to do?”
“I’m a tattoo artist which I started doing after I left home. No need to get into that, it’s a lot. I’ve always lived in London. I like to think I’m the funny one of our friend group and of course as you can see, I’m also the pretty one.” Sirius flips his hair over his shoulder playfully.
Everything flows and the conversation never dies out. Sirius hasn’t felt so comfortable with someone new in a while. He’s always guarded at first. But the way James talks is like he gets it and he just wants to help. Not to his surprise, but it’s very early on in the afternoon that they find they have the same sense of humour. The first time they make the same joke at Remus’ expense in perfect unison, he rolls his eyes.
The second time though, his eyes go wide because it’s no longer a coincidence. Sirius laughs. He has a new friend who will understand him. The rest of their friends will be tired of the two of them being friends within seconds. No one will ever know peace again. He’s never quite had a best friend, aside from his brother and now his boyfriend. But never one who is just his friend, that gets him more than other people, that will back him up always.
“You need to stop doing that. I’ll regret having introduced you.” Remus warns.
There has never been better timing than Sirius and James both opening their mouths, smiling, and then saying, “You would be bored without us.”
“I- no. I’m not doing this.”
“Are you saying you don’t love me anymore?” He pulls out the puppy dog eyes, softening his features as much as he can and bats his eyelashes.
“Yeah Remus, do you not love us anymore?” James mimics.
“You both. Exhaust me.” He rubs at his temples. “Want to watch something and order food or are you going to keep torturing me?”
“Alright yeah let’s order! But I do have another fantastic story while we wait. Has he ever told you about the time he was running late to class and forgot his pants?”
Yes, he has. Sirius bursts out laughing even still, because it is a hilarious story. He got too drunk the night before an exam, spent the night sitting on the floor of the bathroom being force fed water. He just got up, straight from the toilet and ran right to the exam and made it just in time. But he had forgotten that he took his trousers off the night before to be more comfortable.
“And he somehow got his best grade of the semester on that exam.” Sirius adds, laughing.
“I’m getting your least favourite foods, both of you, if you don’t stop.” He pauses, and they all come to a truce. “Good. Now what do you want to eat?”
The three of them spend the rest of the day, well into the evening laughing and making fun of people on the TV. It’s relaxing and easy. Luckily for him, James finds time to tell him more embarrassing things about Remus, which he will be saving in his mind for another time. Quickly it’s like they have been friends forever. There is never a dull moment and even the silences are perfectly comfortable.
All of the food is eventually gone, including the tub of ice cream Sirius pulled out once he got hungry again. They went at it with spoons and left not even a single drop. It’s not that late, but once an episode of the trashy reality TV they put on ends, James starts making his way up from the floor. He helps clean up a bit of the mess, checking his phone every few seconds.
“Waiting on something?”
“Oh, yeah. Reg said he would text me when he got back from this dinner he was at with his publisher.” His phone lights up in perfect timing. “I should head over there now, he’s always stressed after these meetings.”
“Yeah, go be a good boyfriend. I’ll see you soon, alright?” Remus nods and walks him toward the door.
“Of course. You too, Sirius. You’re stuck with me now too.”
“Next time I see you, bring those books of your boyfriend’s. We, well I know I’d love to read them. He probably will too, you said they’re about family right?”
James confirms. “They are. Sounds like you might know a little about dramatic family dynamics.”
The sound that comes from his throat couldn’t have been stopped even if he tried. It’s mostly laugh, that’s what Sirius plays it off to be. But a whine is trapped below the laugh, woven into it. Thoughts of his brother pop in without warning. Yeah, he knows a thing or two about dramatic families. Sometimes it is a comfort that other people have their own shit too. It makes him feel less alone, so he does want to read the books. Maybe it will even help him feel better about it all, if that’s even possible.
“I do happen to know a bit about that sort of thing,” He pushes through to speak. “Bring them by soon! See you ‘round James.”
Once he’s out the door, Remus grabs for his waist and pulls him into a kiss. Ruffling his hair and digging his fingers in to pull ever so slightly. He pushes all other thoughts aside, and melts into him. No matter what, he can always make Sirius feel safe and loved and turn him into a mess. He’s always a mess, especially for Remus, but the power he has is strong. He’s a bit helpless when it comes to him.
“I love you.” He breaks the silence to remind him.
“Oh I know. I love you too.” They both smile, lightly letting their foreheads fall against each other.
It’s times like these that Sirius is genuinely unsure how he got here. What he did to deserve this life that he’s happy in. And if it’s just good karma, then the rest of the children of the Black family are surely just as happy. That’s enough for him. That’s enough for him to let himself enjoy his happiness without guilt. At least without too much of it.
He doesn’t see James for another week, but he didn’t expect to. One day in mid October he drops by the tattoo shop in the middle of the day. He has a stack of four books in his hands when he walks through the door. Sirius’ last client of the day just paid and left, so he’s free to close up and head home whenever he feels like it. James was just passing by and he had the books in his car, so he figured he would drop by, is what he tells Sirius, there’s no harm in that. In fact he’s excited to have the books to read.
What neither of them know, is that this changes everything. No part of Sirius’ world is ever the same again after he cracks the spine and starts reading.
How could it be?