Dudley's a What??!
August 5, 1995, Number 12 Grimmauld Place, Islington, London, England, 2pm
Remus and Mina arrived in the back garden of 12 Grimmauld Place with a loud crack, startling Crookshanks and Artemis who were sunning themselves on the bench. Artemis looked up at the two humans, blinking lazily, “You were gone a long time, Mina, you guys missed lunch. Did you eat out?”
Mina shook her head at the white Mau, “No, we didn’t get a chance, things were happening so quickly we never stopped for anything.”
Remus chuckled, “I can cobble together some sandwiches for us, Mina-mine.”
Artemis stretched and stood up, “Mrs. Weasley said something about tackling the ballroom this afternoon, I hope you two are up for it.” He hopped down from the bench and started walking inside, “I’d help, but I don’t have any hands.”
Mina giggled as she and Remus followed him into the townhouse, “I suppose you and Crookshanks have been sunbathing all day, as usual.”
Artemis’s tail twitched as he sauntered into the foyer and led the way downstairs to the kitchen, “Not all day, Mina. We caught some mice, and a couple of lizards that change size.”
Bill and Ginny were not in the room when they arrived, Remus heading to the sink to wash his hands and thence to the coldbox, pulling out sandwich fixings, as Mina waited, then washed her own hands and started pouring juice into glasses, “I suppose you’ll be wanting something as well, Artemis?” Remus asked in a teasing voice. “Or are you full of those mice and lizards from earlier.”
Artemis sneezed and curled up in one of the chairs, “I wouldn’t mind some cheese, if you have any.”
Mina snickered at the white Mau as Remus chuckled under his breath and cut some wedges of cheese for Artemis, setting it on a plate with a bit of tuna salad. “Da,” she started as they sat down for their quick meal, “what’s that lizard he was talking about? The one that changes size?”
Remus squinted at the stairs thoughtfully, “Well, I’m not sure, but it was probably a moke, they’re highly sought after for their skins, which can be turned into thief-proof wallets and purses. Care of Magical Creatures isn’t my specialty, though, you’d have to ask one of the Weasleys.”
Mina giggled, “But you are a Magical Creature, Da! I’d think you’d read anything you could find about them.” She blinked, then took a sip of juice, “May I borrow Octavian after we eat? I need to send off that letter to Fleur’s mother before I forget again.”
Remus rolled his eyes fondly at her, “That’s exactly why I never took Care of Magical Creatures, because they’re all too afraid of me.” He nodded at her question, “Sure, but don’t expect a reply for a few days, I’m told the Veela Flock is all the way in the South of France, near the Alps. If you send it via Gringotts it may get there faster, though.”
Mina nodded as she finished her sandwich, “Thank you, I’ll send it in care of the goblins, then.” She washed the dishes from the three of them as Remus made up plates for Bill and Ginny, just in case they came home before teatime. “I’ll go write that now, and meet you in the ballroom when I’m done, Da.” She rubbed Artemis’s head between his ears fondly as she passed him, then silently dashed up all the stairs to the very top, enter her room and picking up her pen as she slid into her chair, notepad opened to a fresh page.
Mrs. Apolline Delacoeur, Veela representative to the French Ministry of Magic.
Mrs. Delacoeur, I write to you as a newly fletched Veela. My birth name was Minako Malinda Margaret Annette Aino, daughter of Malinda Elizabeth Rider and Aino Daisuke. She was adopted by Yorkshire farmers and lived a life full of love and happiness until I was born. She was sickly, and I remember she passed away right after my fourth birthday. When I was five, Daisuke abandoned me with one of her former school friends, Allison Yvette Tisdale, who had married Lord Archibald Alda-Farrell. Their son, Alan, is the current Lord Alda-Farrell. He’s a good ten or twelve years older than I am, and we grew up as siblings.
Anyway, on my twelfth birthday, a white cat appeared in my room, carrying a small decorated stick in his mouth. He spoke to me, telling me his name was Artemis and that he was from the planet Mau. The stick was a magic wand, enabling me to transform into a superheroine known as Sailor V, Princess and Guardian of the planet Venus. I am the first of the princesses of the Moon Kingdom to be awakened, and it is my Quest to search for the rest.
On the second of this month, I was informed rather forcefully by Alan and my other superiors at MI6 that I needed to take a month’s break from arresting international fugitives. (They are unaware of my Primary Mission.) As I was wandering in Surrey, a suburb of London, I came across a boy named Harry Potter, and aided him in fending off a pair of Dementors. This one chance meeting kicked off a string of fascinating revelations on both sides. We were collected and brought to a safe house, where we are currently staying under something called a Fidelius Charm. It was late, so we were fed and then put to bed.
The next morning, I descended to meet several more inhabitants of the house. I don’t know if I’m at liberty to discuss them with you, but know that they are kind people. I asked if I could use a telephone, as I was late checking in, but was informed that Muggle technology doesn’t work on a Wizarding property and that I would need to go elsewhere. One Remus Lupin offered to escort me to pick up my luggage, as the invitation had been extended for me to stay with them the entire month. I gladly accepted, and we ventured forth with another young lady, a Miss Hermione Granger.
We got my suitcases, paid for my bed at the hostel even though I never used it, and I rang Alan. He was right angry with me, but I calmed him down by hinting that I had important things to tell him and that I would be sending him a means of secure communication through Owl Post. The three of us ventured to Diagon Alley, as Hermione and I were curious about our families, and had been told that Gringotts would be able to do an inheritance test. Imagine my surprise when my mother turned out to have been born as Malin Malfoy, who had been exiled for being a Squib, and Daisuke was the only Muggle on the entire sheet.
I showed this to my escorts, who began laughing, for I hear my cousin Draco is difficult to get along with at the best of times. Lady Stonebreaker the Healer stepped out to fetch Master Axebeard the Accounts Manager, and while she was gone Hermione was revealed to be descended from a Lupin witch. This shocked them both, but she was pleased to have found that she was from a Squib line also. It was suggested that for my protection I be Blood Adopted by Remus Lupin, as there was fear that my mother’s former family would attempt to control me and my powers.
During the Adoption ceremony, which was presided over by King Ragnok himself, my Venusian heritage interacted with the werewolf blood and activated a dormant Veela gene in the Malfoy bloodline. I became the first full Veela to be born on English soil in over three hundred years. King Ragnok was surprised but very happy to hear of my reincarnation, and said that the Goblin Horde and Centaur Herds had sworn Blood Oaths of Fealty to the Moon Kingdom long ago. They will answer the call when the Moon Princess summons them.
Your daughter Fleur was brought in and we were introduced. She may have spoken of me already, I’m sorry for not writing you sooner. All the books agree that a creature inheritance shows up on the person's sixteenth birthday, but mine is more than fifteen months from now. Unless my becoming a Veela early will be of help in finding the Moon Princess? And does the prophecy I'm told I gave yesterday have anything to do with my Mission? I have to tell you, I'm a little scared by all of this.
Lady Stonebreaker handed me what few books Gringotts had about Veela, and it was suggested that I contact you for better information, as these books were written a long time ago and only offer an outsider’s perspective. I look forward to speaking with you more.
Cordially yours, Minako Malinda Hope Lupin.
Mina folded the letter and placed it in an envelope, writing Mrs. Apolline Delacoeur, Veela Flock, France on the outside. “Ok, all done.” She turned and exited her room, descending the stairs and looking around for Octavian. She opened one door and came face to beak with a large vaguely equine creature that had a bird’s face, wings, and talons. He looked at her regally and she bowed, not blinking, and backed out of the room, closing the door behind her and leaning against the wall with a sigh.
Mina continued down the stairs, albeit slightly shakily, until she literally ran into Sirius as he was exiting the library, “Ooof!” He reached out a hand and easily drew her back to her feet, “You ok, there, Mina? Has my House of Horrors done something again?”
Mina shook her head, smiling, “No, Sirius, I don’t think so. There was this bird-horse thing I saw in one of the bedrooms, but I backed out as soon as I saw it.”
Sirius laughed, “That’s Buckbeak, he’s a hippogriff. Half horse, half eagle, quite vicious if you don’t follow protocol and be very polite and respectful. Ministry wanted to execute him a couple years back for mauling a student up at Hogwarts, even though I’ve heard from Harry that the boy is a spoilt brat and was just playing it up for attention.” He winked at her and continued, “It was your cousin, he truly is a pampered little idiot at times. Cousin Cissy used to have more sense, but a lot can happen in twenty years.”
Mina nodded, “I see. Yes, I bowed and left as soon as I saw him, Alan’s family breeds racehorses so I know somewhat how to act with strange animals. I was looking for Octavian,” she added as she held up the envelope, “Da said I could borrow him again to send this letter off to Fleur’s mother.”
Sirius chuckled, then whistled a pattern, Octavian flying into view a moment later, “Here he is.” The bird landed on his shoulder and looked between them expectantly.
Mina smiled at them both and tied her letter to Octavian’s leg, “Could you take this to Mrs. Apolline Delacoeur by way of Gringotts, please? She lives in France, I'm told, with the Veela Flock.” Octavian bobbed his head and hooted softly, then took off from Sirius’s shoulder and flew out the nearest window. She looked curiously at Sirius as they walked down the stairs, “Da said something about you looking for a certain spell in the library, did you find it?”
Sirius nodded grimly, all trace of mirth gone from his face as he responded, “Yeah, I did, and it’s worse than I remember. I wouldn’t have even looked for this spell if Remus and Mother Potter hadn’t been discussing it last night, it’s that Dark. And Olde, Ancient even. The book itself has been re-copied a couple times from the Ancient… I think they used bloody cuneiform for the first edition! Each time it was copied they translated it into the common language of the time. The current one is in a tricky variation of Welsh, I’ll want Rem to look at it and see if my translations are correct, Ancient Runes was my lowest N.E.W.T. score, I barely scraped an Acceptable in it.”
Mina blinked, “That sounds scary. Bill said he found something similar on Harry’s old house. Do you know if he and Ginny are back yet? They left the bank before we did. I think you need to hear what he found. I can’t explain it all, but Dudley was healed by Lady Stonebreaker and Petunia is filing for divorce, reverting both of them to Evans.”
Sirius stopped dead in his tracks, “She’s what?”
Mina nodded, “Yeah, if you think Harry had it bad there, apparently Petunia was a target also. And Doctor Westing said she’d find Dudley tutors so he can go to Hogwarts.” Sirius fainted at this information, and Mina barely caught him before he hit the floor. “Ugh! OOF, you’re heavy.” She looked around and saw a portrait on the wall, watching her with restrained curiosity, “Hey, can you go find my Da Remus and tell him Sirius fainted?”
The young woman looked down her nose at Mina, “And exactly why should I take the word of a filthy Muggle child anywhere? Especially to that werewolf creature.” She sniffed haughtily, fanning herself, her hair and eyes flashing a myriad of colors.
Mina frowned at the painting, “Because I’m Princess of the Planet Venus, you twit. Consider it a Royal Order if you must.” She slowly lowered Sirius into a sitting position on the floor, leaning against the wall underneath the witch’s portrait. “I can’t carry him myself, he’s too heavy to move physically, and my magic doesn’t work like yours.”
The witch’s eyes grew round as her spine stiffened and her hair turned white, “P-princess? Y-yes, your grace. At once, your grace.” She stood from the sumptuous green velvet chair she’d been painted in and hurried out of the frame, her silver silk skirts seeming to rustle as she vanished. A couple minutes later she returned, her hair back to its glossy black, “The werewolf is on his way, your grace.” Mina nodded distractedly as she waited, pacing.
Remus and Fleur were seen on the landing soon, Remus moving slightly faster than the part-Veela woman, “Whatever did you say to him, Mina-mine?”
Mina blushed, “I may have told him Dudley was going to Hogwarts. You’ll need to tell him the whole story, Da.” She looked down at her hands, adding in a softer voice, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to spill the beans early.”
Fleur knelt next to Sirius and checked him over as Remus pulled Mina into a hug, “No, Mina, it’s fine. Don’t worry about it.” He pulled back and glanced down at Sirius, grinning, “He always was the most dramatic person in the room.”
Fleur had been muttering in French while waving her wand over Sirius. She looked up at them both and chuckled, “’Ee is fine, zere eez nozzing to worry about.” She poked him in the shoulder with her wand and said, "Éveiller!”
Sirius jerked forward as if someone had poured a bucket of water over his head, “What the fuck?”
Remus cuffed him, “Language, Siri, set an example for these two young ladies.”
Sirius looked up at Remus, scowling, then laughed and stood up, “Ok, ok, you’re right. Sorry, girls.”
Mina looked back at the portrait, “I’m sorry for being rude earlier, what’s your name, miss?”
The witch gestured to the bottom of the frame below her, “I am Fornax Campanula Black, younger daughter of Castor Arcturus Black and Dahlia Greengrass. My older brother Phineas Orion married Emilia Malfoy when I was twelve. They do not come out of the Master Suite.”
Sirius barked with laughter, “They currently have a hippogriff as a roommate because I put Buckbeak in Walburga’s room.”
Fornax hid a smile behind her fan, her hair turning blue, “Phineas has always been a priggish one, now he has a neighbor who is prissier than he.” Mina giggled at this.
Mina watched Fornax’s hair with interest, “How are you changing your hair like that?” She peered at the plaque underneath the frame, “And how is it you speak Modern English when you lived over two hundred years ago?”
Fornax shrugged minutely, “It is part of the communication spell that was put on my portrait, your grace. And I am what is called a Metamorphmagus, I can change parts of my body as I please.”
Sirius chuckled, “Tonks is the same! The first Black since you yourself, in fact.”
Fornax scowled at him, her hair turning green, “What sort of respectable name is Tonks?”
Sirius grinned at his many-times great-aunt, “Andromeda Black ran away and married a Muggle-born wizard named Theodore Tonks. Their daughter is Nymphadora, who goes by Tonks, and has inherited your abilities. She’s an Auror trainee, and got Outstanding on her Disguise and Concealment exams because of the Black Trait.”
Fornax smirked at this news, her hair turning purple, “Of course she would, we are excellent at those. You may inform this Nymphadora Tonks that I am willing to tutor her in the ways of the Metamorphmagus, despite her Halfblood status. She is to attend me every Sunday at teatime, until she has mastered her ability to my satisfaction. We shall meet in the Harpy Eagle’s Nest. I trust you know which room that is, Lord Black?”
Sirius nodded, “Yes, it’s in the library, the door is hidden by that Shakespeare Compendium.”
Fornax inclined her head regally, “Precisely so. I shall be there tomorrow at teatime.” She snapped her fan shut decisively, “Now, if that is all, I believe you were emptying this place of its pests.” She sniffed again, “Your mother may have been a Black twice over, but that is no excuse for allowing the Ancestral Home to turn into a manticore pit. I charge you, Lord Black, with the Cleansing of our House, and restoring it to Greatness.”
Sirius bowed his head at the reprimand in her voice, “Yes, Aunt Fornax, it shall be as you say. Kreacher is with the Potter Elves, being Healed and re-trained to be a Worthy Head Elf. The House is being worked on as we speak, the Weasleys have been of invaluable help in that regard.”
Fornax’s hair turned Weasley red as she smiled down at him fondly, “Weasleys, you say? Wonderful, they are stout allies, and dear friends.” Her cheeks pinked as she spoke.
Mina giggled, “Did you fancy one of them while you were alive?”
Fornax’s eyes looked at something out of frame, “Indeed, 'twas more than fancy. I was betrothed to the Spare, one Ronald Bilius Weasley. Alas, I died of consumption before we could plight our troth, and he was freed to wed another.”
Ron had come looking for them all, and he replied softly, “But he didn’t, Miss Black, he pined for you, and died of a broken heart a year later. I carry his names proudly, and hope I can live up to such a noble man.”
“You look so like him, tall and broad-shouldered." Fornax looked Ron up and down and nodded, hair and eyes turning brown in sorrow, "Am I correct in guessing that you have not reached your majority yet?”
Mina and the rest backed off and allowed Ron to stand in front of the portrait alone, “I turned fifteen on March First, Miss Black, and don’t come into my creature inheritance until next year.”
Fornax favored Ron with a sad smile, “We are known as godkin, young Ronald Bilius Weasley. I myself was an Ethiopian jackal, and my love was a pine marten.”
Ron grinned back at her, “All my brothers except Charlie have a similar animal. Charles Septimus, the Spare.”
Fornax chuckled slightly at this, her hair turning blue, “Indeed? And how many brothers have you?”
Ron shrugged, “I have five older brothers, and a younger sister.”
Fornax’s eyes went wide and her hair turned white again, “A Seventh, a Seventh! I have not heard of one for centuries!” She coughed behind her fan and her hair returned to Weasley red, “I presume your sister has been undergoing the proper training?”
Remus shook his head at this, “No, she's had nothing special as far as I'm aware. The girl suffered possession from a Dark Artifact known as a Horcrux her First Year at Hogwarts, and only now as she begins her Fourth Year has she consented to seek treatment for the damage to her mind and soul.”
Fornax frowned deeply, “I know of no such magic to heal the mind, Master Wolf.”
Remus smiled, “Fortunately I know an excellent Healer for such things. She is coincidentally a Daughter of Slytherin through the House of Gaunt, and is amazingly talented with all Mind Magics.”
Fornax inclined her head, “I would be interested in meeting this witch, whenever she is available.” She tapped her fan thoughtfully in her hands as she spoke musingly, “And you mentioned a Horcrux? Foul magic indeed. You will most likely need the Vivlío ton Nekrón from the library, it is part of the collection bound with human skin. The Vivlío details the Grecian Underworld and how to summon Thanatos, one of their Death Gods.”
They all grimaced at her words as Sirius frowned, “That book's missing from the library, I could only find the Malleus Maleficarum, the Istoría tis Mageías, the Kitab Almawtaa, and the Mut’ Arvesti Gaghtnik’nery. The Malleuswas published right here in England at the command of King James, and is all about hunting witches. The Istoría is the one I was trying to translate earlier, I’m not very good with Welsh, but I think I found the Magicus Deletus in there. The Kitab is a copy of the Egyptian Book of the Dead that was directions for their Afterlife in the Duat, and delineates several self-updating godkin lineages. And the Mut' describes some of the most foul magics ever invented, as well as the breeding of several Magical Creatures.”
Remus looked thoughtful, “I wonder if the siphon spell is in one of them?”
Sirius looked curiously at Mina, then his eyes cut sharply to his brother-in-law, “A siphon? Is this part of what you discovered with the Dursleys?”
Remus nodded, “Yes, Bill found remnants of a siphon spell, keyed to Evans blood, that was drawing power off Harry, Dudley, and Petunia. The woman’s a Squib, Sirius!” He started pacing, agitated, “If Harry could summon a corporeal Patronus at thirteen with his magic being drained, just imagine what could he do after he attains his majority?!"
Fornax looked from one adult wizard to the other, “You will most definitely need all four of those other books, Lord Black. And it is imperative that you find the missing one, I believe it contains an entire chapter devoted to Horcruxes, their making and unmaking. You may well discover this siphon spell in there also, I am afraid I do not recall.”
Sirius smiled at the painting, "You've been a lot of help, thanks Aunt Fornax. Is there anything we can do for you?"
Fornax favored her many-times-great-nephew with a smile, "If you would remove your mother Walburga from the front entry hall, it would be most appreciated by myself and several other portraits."
Sirius shook his head, "We've tried, and exhausted, most of the magical methods we can think of. I suspect either she or Kreacher used a Permanent Sticking Charm on the wall."
Mina giggled, "I asked Da this morning if none of you had ever thought of just taking a sledgehammer to the thing."
Ron rolled his eyes at the two older wizards, "She's right, a good Bombarda at the old harridan and then all we have to do is clean up the plaster."
Sirius blinked, "But what about the structural integrity of the house?"
Mina scoffed, "I'm sure you have spells for that, right?"
Fornax smiled primly, her eyes and hair dancing a mirthful blue, "The children are correct, the house will not fall down if you have to remove part of one wall, gentlemen. Phineas and Emilia may even deign to grace the rest of the house with their presence when she is removed." She pointed her fan at Mina and added, "Her grandmother was the last Malfoy to present with a Veela inheritance, your grace, you two may wish to converse."
Mina's eyes went wide at this pronouncement, "That's right, you had said she was a Malfoy by birth. How long has it been since a witch was born in that family? Sadly, my mother the Squib doesn't count."
Fornax folded and unfolded her fan as she thought, "I cannot be sure, but I believe there was a Livia Malfoy some time in the century between us, I think perhaps she was married to a Bjorn Rowle? But you would have to correlate on the tapestry located in the drawing room to be assured of that, though. The Blacks are related to most of the Olde Families, through several marriages."
Mina nodded, "Thank you, I'll do that."
Fleur, who had been listening silently to all of this, spoke up, "I vould be interested in meeting zis Emilia alzo. My granmuzzer iz a full Veela, and her sizter iz ze leader of our Flock."
Remus chuckled at this, "Does Bill know you're a Veela Princess, Fleur?"
Fleur blushed and shook her head, tossing her silver hair, "Eet 'az not come up az of yet. I am not ze ‘eir in enny case, zat ‘onor belongz to my cuzzin, Dominique."
Ron spoke up, "We should get back before Mum sends out another search party." He nodded at Fornax's painting, "It was nice to meet you, Miss Black." He walked down the stairs and out of sight.
Sirius asked in a partially plaintive, partially teasing voice, “I walked past you every day for years, Aunt Fornax, why did you never speak up before?”
Fornax blinked, her hair turning orange, “I am not entirely sure, Lord Black. It is possible there was an enchantment on my portrait, preventing me from communicating unless addressed directly by an outsider. Her grace certainly fulfills those requirements in spades.” She snapped her fan shut once more, “Now, I believe you have a house to delouse. I look forward to hearing that Walburga the Disgrace has been removed.”
Thus dismissed, the quartet descended the staircase and joined the others in the ballroom, where Bill and Ginny were regaling a rapt group with their audience with Lady Twyla, “And then Doctor Westing Disapparated with Petunia and Dudley, presumably to wherever they are staying. I think Lady Twyla will be owling me about the Little Hangleton Cemetery in a couple of days, the traces will be fading fast.”
Remus smiled, “So you’ve heard the news, then. Siri here went and fainted on Mina when she accidentally let slip Dudley’s status.”
Molly nodded, “We wondered where you’d run off to, that snippy portrait didn’t have much to say.”
Sirius chuckled, “That’s my many-great-aunt Fornax. She’s a bit stuffy, but alright. She warmed up to us after a bit.” He winked at Ron, who flushed, his ears turning bright red, “Helped that your youngest boy here is the spitting image of her betrothed. I didn’t know the Blacks and the Weasleys were supposed to marry that far back, I thought the lines only joined with Cedrella and Septimus.”
Ron spoke softly, “I remember reading about the other Ron when I was a little kid, and thinking it was sad that he was never able to marry his true love. I swore then and there that my Soulmate would never suffer like that.”
Mina asked lightly, “Do you know who they are yet?”
Ron shook his head, “No, not yet. I’m not even sure it’s a witch. I just know it’s not anyone I’ve met so far.”
Tonks’s hair shifted to purple as she ruffled Ron's ginger locks, “You’ll figure it out, kiddo, you’re brilliant. Just be patient.”
Mina grinned, “Miss Fornax said your presence is requested in something called the Harpy Eagle’s Nest tomorrow at teatime, Tonks. Something about tutoring you in the ways of the Family Magic?”
Tonks’s hair went blue and orange polka-dots and stood on end, as if she’d been struck by lightning, “She what?”
Sirius grinned, “Oh, yeah, I forgot to mention, she was the last Metamorphmagus born to the family. Says she wants to meet with you every Sunday afternoon until you are ‘trained to her satisfaction,’ which might take a while, she seems very particular.”
Tonks’s hair grew out long and turned white with pink stripes, looking like a curly candy-cane, “I… I… er…”
Ginny giggled, “Sirius, I think you broke her.”
Remus chortled, “Don’t think you’re getting out of lessons either, Ginevra. She says as a Seventh you need training also. Though where we’ll find tutors for that sort of thing is another matter entirely.”
Ginny’s eyes went round and she sat down on the nearest chair with a thump, startling several sootmites out from underneath it to scatter to far corners of the room, “Me? Tutors? But why?”
Remus smiled, “Because you’re the Seventh child of your family. That’s something very special and rare. Such Sevenths usually are leaders in their communities, simply because of the sheer power that they have at their command. Miss Fornax said the last Seventh was even before she was alive. We’ll have to look it up, I don’t think one’s arisen in England since before the Burning Times. When I studied for my Mastery, it was mentioned only peripherally as something that just didn’t happen anymore. This was before your parents had you, of course. I’m sure the Wizarding Society at large has forgotten what it means to have a Seventh around. The goblins probably know, though, their memories are longer than ours.”
Mina nodded earnestly, “Don’t you remember? They said if Riddle hadn’t been told that prophecy and targeted Harry, you would be the most powerful person of our generation.”
Ginny blushed, “I had forgotten, there was so much other stuff going on.”
Fred and George grinned, “We knew you-“
“-were strong, Gin. Your-“
“-Bat-Bogey Hex-“
“-was better before-“
“-Hogwarts than some-“
“-of our classmates-“
“-after six years-“
“-of school. You’re-“
“-a right terror at times.”
“But we love you anyway!” they chorused, then fell onto each other in a fit of laughter. After a moment, Ginny grinned at them and joined in.
“I must say, today has been full of surprises,” Molly said over the trio’s hilarity. “Your discoveries in Surrey and at the bank, and here the house has been… well, almost cooperative in our efforts to clean it up! There’s something living in the walls we can’t quite get to yet, though, and of course we still have Walburga Black’s portrait to deal with.”
Mina giggled, “I had the thought this morning, but forgot to bring it up at breakfast. We should just take a sledgehammer to the stupid thing. I’m sure she didn’t think to protect herself against non-magical means.”
Ron nodded, “Miss Fornax agreed. She said removing one wall won’t make the whole house come falling down on us. And we can always replace it.”
Tonks grinned, “I had better fetch it, you lot would get lost in the store.”
“I’m coming with you!” Mina said immediately, “I know where a store is.” She looked around, “Where’s Hermione? I thought she was helping clean?”
Molly smiled, “She decided to go spend the day with her parents, this week has been full of revelations. You can fill her in on your latest shenanigans tomorrow.”
Bill frowned, “Mum, Lady Stonebreaker said she was sending some potions for all of us to take, and that we should avoid the Headmaster until they’ve done their job. After mulling it over on the way back, I agree. There are things about all this that just don’t add up, and I’m worried.”
Molly frowned reprovingly at her eldest child, “William, I’m sure the Headmaster has everything under control, we need to trust him.”
Ginny shook her head, “No, Mum, I’m with Billy on this, we need to be careful. L-Doctor Westing even agrees.”
Molly arched an eyebrow at Ginny, “Who in Merlin’s name is Doctor Westing? William mentioned her earlier, but didn’t explain her connection to us.”
Remus jumped in, attempting to stave off the infamous Prewett temper, “Doctor Seannan Westing is a friend of mine from America, she’s a Mindhealer of no small repute and has come to England to help us out.” He smiled, “She’s even agreed to look into the issues surrounding the Longbottoms and that Lockhart fellow, which she really doesn’t have to. She and Lady Twyla are in agreement that we need to tread carefully in regards to the illustrious Headmaster, though.”
Molly blinked, “Ah, you had mentioned Lady Twyla, yes. Strange, I feel as though I should remember more about her.” Her eyes took on a foggy, unfocused look.
Remus and Bill exchanged worried glances, “Uh, Mum? Lady Twyla is Lord Gwynedd, you taught us that yourself. She’s also the niece of Charlie’s favorite author, Newt Scamander.”
Molly’s eyes cleared as she nodded, smiling, “Oh, she’s a Scamander, that explains the hair.” She sniffed dismissively and glanced at Tonks, whose hair had reverted to short and spiky bubblegum pink, “Do you know if she’s a Metamorphmagus like you are?”
Tonks shook her head, “No, I don’t believe so, Mum would have mentioned it when I was a kid if there were others in England.” She shrugged, “It’s fine, I’ve bungled my way through life alright.” The younger witch grinned, “I’m eager to meet this Fornax, though, all my study has been through books.”
Ginny bounced on her toes, “Let’s go get that hammer already! I wanna see that mean old hag get what she deserves!”
Mina giggled, “Is she the Big Bad Wolf or the House that Blew Down in this scenario?”
Harry chuckled at the girls, “I think she’s more like Chicken Little screaming ‘the sky is falling’ at everyone she sees.”
Sirius barked with laughter, “Calling her a hag is an insult to hags.” He grinned at the teenagers and added, “I’ll be glad to see the last of her, and this house will finally be able to be a home once more.”
Mina looked at him curiously, “Do you know the name of the therapist you’re going to be working with yet?”
Sirius shrugged, “Not exactly, I figured I’d just tag along to Hermione’s Healer and see if they can fit me in.”
Mina nodded, “I’ll see if they’re on Alan’s MI6 list, it would be easier if they already have high government clearance.”
Remus cleared his throat, “I believe Cousin Richard mentioned her name was Carol, Doctor Carol Whitethorn.”
Mina blinked, “Doctor Carol?” She giggled, “Fancy that, I’ve seen her myself once or twice.” She looked at Sirius and added, “For some reason you remind me of her… I wonder if you two are related.”
Sirius shook his head emphatically, “The tapestry in the drawing room would be able to tell us for sure, but I don’t recall any Black relations named Carol. Too plebian a name, we’re usually named for stars or constellations. It’s possible she’s descended from a Squib, though, there are several names who have been blasted off the wall by one Black or another. Like Cousin Andi, I remember watching Walburga burn her cameo away.” He glanced at Tonks, “I can see if the goblins will help me reinstate her, and by extension you, into the Family. We’re splintered enough as it is, with Cousin Bellatrix married to one of the Lestranges and locked up in Azkaban, and Cousin Narcissa married to Lucius Malfoy. The Family needs all the members it can get, or else we’ll die out entirely. And that would quite literally kill the house, as well as break all the enchantments and wards and such that have been cast on the property over the centuries.”
Harry blinked, “Narcissa Malfoy? We met her last summer, at the Quidditch World Cup. Snooty woman, looked like she’d sat on a broom lengthwise.”
Sirius laughed, “Cissy’s always been frigid, I think it comes of being the youngest in her family and trying desperately to keep up appearances. I don’t doubt she’s taught her son the same aloofness.”
Ron shook his head emphatically, “He’s whiny and a coward. Malfoy would rather use Daddy’s money to get out of trouble than learn his lesson.”
Harry nodded, “I remember in our first year, when we got caught after giving Norberta to Charlie’s friends, he said detention in the Forbidden Forest was ‘servant’s work’ and scared Neville half to death.”
Remus arched an eyebrow, “Who’s Norberta?”
Harry looked down at his shoes, “Er, a Norwegian Ridgeback who hatched from an egg that Hagrid had been bribed with, by Quirrellmort. Nearly burnt Hagrid’s house down about five times before we could set up the handoff. Charlie says the females are always more vicious, and she certainly proved that in her first few weeks.”
Ron nodded, “Yeah, well, I spent two weeks with Madame Pomphrey because that ‘baby’ bit my hand and it festered. It’s how Malfoy learnt about the handoff in the first place, I had Charlie’s letter about it in the book he took off me. I’ve still got the scars from her fangs, though you can barely tell through all my freckles.”
Molly frowned, “I wonder why the Headmaster never wrote us about that, you could have died from a dragon bite!”
Bill nodded, “See, Mum? It’s best for us to avoid him right now, until Lady Stonebreaker can get us those potions and Doctor Westing can take a look at all of us who’ve interacted with him. I promise, you’ll get a full explanation soon.”
Molly sighed, “Very well, William, but I expect that conversation to include your father.”
“Of course, Mum, it concerns him as well,” Bill agreed lightly. He turned to Tonks, “Weren’t you going to find a hammer? Best be off before the shops close.”
Tonks nodded, “Right, hammer. C’mon, girls!” Ginny and Mina giggled as they followed the Metamorphmagus out of the ballroom.
Mina asked as they approached the landing, “Should we get some boards and paint also, just to be safe?”
Tonks grinned, “Sure, that would make it easier to remake the wall afterwards. Er, one of us should go take measurements, and I’m too clumsy.”
Ginny laughed, “I can’t use magic yet, remember? I’m only fourteen, plus Mum has despaired of ever teaching me how to sew.”
Mina giggled, “Alright, fine, I’ll do it. I can use my Venus Chain as a measuring tape.” She stepped away from the two witches and pulled out her Transformation Wand, calling in a level but soft voice, “Venus Power Make-up!” She was surrounded by rainbow sparks of light, which faded to reveal Sailor V standing in front of them. “Right, give me ten minutes and I’ll meet you in the garden.”
Tonks handed over a piece of parchment and a bright pink Self-Inking quill, “Here, so you don’t forget.”
Sailor V nodded, “Thanks, see you in a bit.” She walked down all the stairs and entered the front hall. The moth-eaten red velvet curtains shuddered but didn’t open as she silently approached the wall containing Walburga Black's portrait. Working swiftly, she unwound the golden chain from her waist and started using it to measure the dimensions of the affected wall, pausing every so often to write down the results.
Just as Sailor V wrote down the last number, the curtains flew open to reveal Walburga Black, “I see the Muggle filth is still infesting my House.”
Sailor V sighed, “I’ve already had this conversation once today, but I’ll humor you. I’m no Muggle, you harridan, I’m the reincarnation of the Princess of the Planet Venus. Even if I were not, you should show respect to guests.”
Walburga’s eyebrows rose so high they disappeared into her hair, “I don’t care if you’re the daughter of Merlin himself, you’re still born of a Muggle, and therefore a Mudblood.”
Sailor V winced, “If you looked past your frame once in a while, you’d see that I’m actually half Malfoy, you blind old bat. Regardless of my parentage, your son has graciously offered me house space, and your son-in-law Blood Adopted me out of the kindness of his heart. Something you obviously don’t have. Good day, Madam, and may whatever gods you worship have mercy on your Afterlife.” She used the Venus Chain to tug the curtains closed on a dumbfounded Walburga and then walked out to the garden, where Tonks and Ginny were waiting for her.
“You ok there?” Ginny asked hesitantly, “You look angry.”
Sailor V shrugged as she de-transformed into Mina, handing the parchment and quill to Tonks, “Just upset. Sirius will sleep easier once his mother is no longer haunting this place. Let’s go.”
Tonks led Mina and Ginny out the door and down the steps, then stopped suddenly, "Wait a minute, I have no idea where we're going. Mina, you lead, please."
Ginny giggled as Mina took her place in front and the two witches followed her, "Alright, Tonks, I'm assuming you can Apparate the three of us back here once we're done with our shopping? The store I'm thinking of is about fifteen minutes' walk from where we are right now."
Ginny blinked, "Fifteen minutes? Eh, it takes longer to get from Gryffindor Tower out to the Greenhouses. Let's go, I haven't spent a lot of time in the Muggle world."
Mina chuckled, "Well, tell me something about your world that you think I'll find interesting? What's your favorite storybook?"
Tonks shrugged, "We don't have all that many Wizarding books for kids, though it's gotten better in the last fifty years or so. In addition to the Tales of Beedle the Bard, a Shakespeare Compendium, and the Charles Dickens omnibus, we've actually had some Beatrix Potter stories that were converted into Wizarding vernacular. They're called Tales from the Cabbage Patch, and Dad laughed when Mum started reading them to me when I was a little one."
Ginny wrinkled her brow curiously, "I didn't know those started as Muggle stories, they're fun! Ron used to swear by this weird series called The Adventures of Martin Miggs, the Mad Muggle, but I never got into them. They're comics. I--" She cut herself off, blushing, "I liked the Harry Potter Adventure series better. Used to dream that he was coming to rescue me, like a princess in a tower, and that we'd get married and live happily ever after." Tonks and Mina both grinned at her as she threw her hands in the air, "I like the real version of him better, you two! Even if it means I have seven older brothers instead of six."
All three of them chuckled as Mina turned left on a street corner, "Ok, setting aside that can of worms, the Muggle world has comics also." She winked at Tonks, "I love the DC world, better than the Marvel one, especially the Batman arcs. There's been some television shows over the years that are really great."
Tonks nodded as the two witches followed the young superheroine down the sidewalk, "Yeah, Dad tried to get me into the Marvel stuff, but it all felt... a little too disrespectful to the Olde Ways, with their badly-written attempts at rewriting the godly myths." She wrinkled her nose as her hair briefly flashed from pink to red and back to pink, "I like the Batman stories better, too, and the cartoon introduced my favorite character a couple years back!"
Mina looked around to see if anyone passing by had caught the color change, but the three girls were ignored by the surrounding pedestrians, "You mean Harley? Yeah, I just wish her backstory weren't so sad! She was a brilliant doctor until Joker got ahold of her."
Tonks smiled, "She's awesome, I don't see her sticking by 'Mistah J' for long. Too independent to stay brainwashed."
Ginny looked quizzically from one to the other as Mina led them into a storefront with the marquee G.J. Chapman Hardware, "What's brainwashing mean? Did they actually use a Scourgify on someone's mind?"
Tonks shook her head, "No, brainwashing means... uh, the Joker character used something like an Imperius on the Mindhealer to make her his devoted assistant. She completely forgot who she was before they met, including all of the things that made her a strong, no-nonsense woman."
Mina frowned sadly, "I hope she can be rescued, she's such a great person." She shook her head as they came to a stop in front of the hammers, "Anyway, Tonks, pick one, and then we'll go find plaster and paint."
Tonks grinned and reached for the biggest one on the wall, grunting slightly as she hefted it over her shoulder, "Alright, oh fearless leader, where to next?"
Mina laughed and they made their way down the aisles to pick up a couple buckets of plaster and paint, as well as three sheets of drywall and a brush kit, "You can change the color to match the rest of the house, right? And is three sheets enough?"
Tonks nodded as the three of them loaded up their arms and started walking to the till, "Yeah, easy-peasy, and if not we can always use Geminio." She smiled winsomely at the teller, an older gentleman wearing a leather apron and a cap, "How much for all this?"
The old man, presumably G.J. Chapman himself, rang up all their purchases, "That'll be eighty-seven pounds and sixty-seven pence, ladies. Doing some home improvement?"
Tonks laughed as Mina set down a bucket and pulled out her MI6 Platinum credit card, "Yeah, my cousin's fixing up his old house, been abandoned for a long time, and we, er, broke a wall in the foyer. 'Snot a load-bearing one, but we still need to replace it."
The man squinted at the card, but it scanned without incident and he handed it back to Mina with the receipt and a pen, "Alright, if you say so, but come back if you need help."
Mina signed the receipt and received a copy of it, which she slid into her wallet along with the card, and then the three girls left the shop and turned into a secluded alleyway. Tonks chortled, "That old man has another thing coming if he thinks we're going back, he was super creepy. Okay, everyone link elbows and I'll get us back to the house in a jiffy." She shrank down the sheets of drywall with a wave of her wand and pocketed them, then Ginny and Mina stood on either side of her holding buckets as, with another wave of her wand, the three of them Disapparated from the alley and back to Grimmauld Place's ballroom.
Ron looked over as the three girls appeared with a crack and grinned, "Find everything ok? Mum's gone down to start tea." He stretched and his back popped, "Blimey, this house is something else, innit? I tell you, Mina, I'll be glad to take that trip next week."
Bill chuckled, overhearing his youngest brother, "This place is certainly better than it was in June, you kids should be glad most of the horrors are gone now." He checked his wristwatch, then nodded at Tonks, "You want to get that wall taken care before or after tea?"
Tonks and Mina exchanged a look, then grinned at the Cursebreaker, "After, let us just put all this stuff in the foyer and we can go eat. Mina gave me an idea, but it needs a little bit of preparation."
Bill nodded and called to Harry and his other brothers, "Boys, teatime!"
Ginny looked around, "Where's Dad gone? And Fleur?" They all made their way up the ballroom staircase and then down the ones to the rest of the house, stopping in the foyer to silently leave all the hardware supplies before heading into the basement kitchen.
Bill chuckled as they all entered the kitchen, "Fleur went back upstairs to converse more with Remus and Miss Fornax, I think she wanted to learn more about the history of this house. Sirius is, er, out in the back garden preparing Buckbeak's meal, and Dad's there helping him."
Molly turned around with a smile on her face, "Fred, George, Bill, set the table, please. Harry, Ron, would you go fetch Sirius and your father from the garden? Girls, Remus and Fleur are... well, I'm not quite sure where they are, but I'm sure you can find them easily." Thus marshalled, the troops went to get the others residing in the house, returning to the basement kitchen to find the table groaning with food. Weasleys were known for being bottomless pits, after all.
Everyone sat down and Fred started things off by passing tea to Bill as Arthur questioned Tonks, "Did you find everything you needed? I've never gone shopping in a Muggle store before, were things easily laid out?"
Mina laughed and answered, because Tonks was busy stuffing her face with cream scone, "It was fine, the store was cramped but Alan's driver Kevin has taken me in there a couple times before, so I knew where everything was. Never by myself, of course, the old man who runs the place is kinda creepy."
Ginny shrugged as she took some jam, "It was fun, and they told me about a comic they're both fans of. Didn't know the Muggles had comics as well."
Tonks swallowed her tea and nodded, "Yeah, I grew up with both. Martin Miggs is rather, er, insulting to the Muggle World, but I supposed it's because it's a caricature. Next time I write Mum and Dad I'll ask them to send over my Batman comics, you kids can see what Muggles think about superheroes." She glanced at Mina and chuckled, "There's even some stories that involve magic, though it's not the type either of us are used to. One of Batman's ex-girlfriends, and the mother of his son, is the daughter of a gentleman who uses something called the Lazarus Pit to come back to life. He's effectively immortal as long as the potion in this Pit is still viable. And another, the mother of his daughter, has an affinity with Lady Bastet, the cat goddess of beauty and magic from Ancient Egypt."
Molly raised her eyebrows at this information, "Well, I hope none of you follow in this 'Batman's' footsteps and have children without being married."
Remus looked uncomfortable, "Er, Molly, I was six months pregnant when I got married. Lily and my Mam both insisted."
Arthur and Fleur both blinked at this information, "I didn't even know it was possible for a wizard to get pregnant, Remus."
Remus nodded, "It doesn't happen very often, but it's a Blessing from Mother Magic when it does occur. You'll meet my kids next week when we go to Mina's place."
Mina grinned at him, "I can't wait, I've always wanted siblings. Daisuke certainly never wanted to see me again after he gave me to Mum's old friend, so I've never met his sons." She shrugged, "I don't care, really."
Harry smiled at her, "It's his own loss that he can't see what a great person you are, Mina."
Fleur nodded in agreement, "Oui, Remuz, eef ze are ennyting like vous, ze muzt be wonderful."
Molly smiled nervously, "Ah, I see. How many do you have, and how old are they?" Her mind began whirring, "I must get started on Christmas presents soon, what's an extra couple of sweaters?"
Harry grinned across the table, "You hear that, Uncles? Weasley sweaters! You're really part of the family now!"
Everyone chuckled as Remus replied sheepishly, "I have two sons, my godson and goddaughter, and their grandmother, all of whom you'll meet next week. My boys will be seventeen next month, and the other two celebrate their coming of age in October."
Bill chuckled, whistling through his teeth in admiration, "You must have had your hands full, with two sets of twins so close in age. Gred and Forge here were trouble, but I could handle them."
Remus smiled sadly, "I was widowed about a year later, but I had a lot of help from Mam and all the Potters. We even had an old school friend of ours, Aggie, who agreed to come back from California and be our nanny. She's gone now, died the same night as the Potters, but me and the kids eventually made our way to a School out in Nebraska where I was hired on as a teacher. History of Magic is History of Magic, no matter the country. It was a good stint, made easier by the fact that werewolves are free to run in secluded forests on Full Moon Nights instead being locked up in the basement like a dirty little secret such as over here."
Molly raised an eyebrow as she nodded to the twins to start clearing away the tea things, "So is that where you were when Harry got his scar? With your children?"
Remus nodded, "Yes, we were in a different house, way up in Borth; a tiny, very out-of-the-way town on the coast of Wales. The kids are why I couldn't become a spy for Professor Dumbledore like he wanted me to, because I refused to go off and possibly get their last surviving parent killed."
Sirius blinked, "Didn't you have godparents for them? I could have sworn I remember you holding the ceremony."
Remus frowned, "Er, two were James and Lily, Panda and Xeno, and the other two were, um..." he trailed off, counting on his fingers, "Ah! It was Frank and Dorcas! The Longbottoms and the Potters were all in hiding, so I couldn't leave my boys with either family. Uh, I didn't know how to get in touch with Panda and Xeno at the time, and Dorcas and her wife Marlene were killed right before Harry was born; nobody knows where their girls ended up, but they weren't in the house when the Aurors arrived."
Molly and Arthur gasped, "I didn't even know they'd been married, Remus, let alone that they had children. Do you think you could find them?"
Remus blinked, looking thoughtful, "I... you know, it's possible I encountered them while at Hogwarts, they would have been in the year between the twins and Ron. There are a few times for those classes where my memory has gone fuzzy. Since I was one of the godfathers to Coronis, I should have been able to sniff out both girls, but I just can't recall at the moment. I'll have to ask Lady Stonebreaker."
Bill nodded, "We'll send her a query back when she owls us those potions. Don't worry, Remus, it'll get sorted right quick as soon as Gringotts know we're looking for people."
Tonks stood and stretched, "Well, we can't do anything about these missing girls right now, so let's go finally take care of Aunt Banshee." Ginny and Mina giggled as they vacated their chairs also and the three of them went up the stairs and into the drawing room, trailed by the rest of the family who headed to the foyer.
Sirius looked at Ron, a faint expression of worry on his face, "And you're sure the house won't come tumbling down around our ears if we take out this one wall?"
Ron walked up and down in front of the wall, tapping his chin thoughtfully, then went over to huddle with Harry, Molly, Fleur, and the other Weasley men, "Yeah, the house'll be fine, I can't see that we'll need to deal with anything more than plaster dust and bits of wallboard."
There was a flash of rainbow light from the drawing room, then Sailor V exited, followed closely by Tonks in a strange red, black, and white harlequin jumpsuit and Ginny, who was bouncing on her toes with excitement. Sailor V grinned at the assembly, "Ready to say goodbye once and for all to your mother, Sirius?"
Sirius grinned back as he crossed over to the curtains covering Walburga Black's portrait, "Sailor V, I have been waiting for this day since I was your age." He wrenched the moth-eaten red velvet curtains open one last time and addressed his mother, "It's time you were gone to the Other Side, Walburga Irmengard Black. As Lord Black, I sentence you to have your portrait destroyed, and never again shall your name be spoken within these walls." He glowed slightly, surrounded by black and grey and purple lights as Mother Magic heard his pronouncement.
Sailor V laid a hand on the huge mallet, which Tonks had picked up, and softly said, "Venus Crescent Beam Supersmash!"
The hammer glowed with orange and yellow light as Tonks hefted it over her shoulder, "I, Nymphadora Cassiopeia Tonks, a distaff Daughter of House Black, do so carry out the sentence of Lord Sirius Orion Black the Third." She grinned at the portrait and lifted up her leg, "Bye-bye, Puddin'!" She spun around in a circle and then slammed the still-glowing head of the hammer into the flabbergasted portrait of Walburga Meliflua Black with a huge bellow, "Hai-yah!" shattering the canvas instantly. She reared back, hauling the mallet with her, and hit the wall twice more, each time yelling again. When the dust settled, the hammer was no longer glowing and Tonks was surrounded by piles of broken boards and streaked canvas, a huge grin splitting her face from ear to ear.
Ginny and the rest applauded appreciatively, "That was magnificent, Tonks! I can't wait to read those Batman comic books!"
Tonks winked as her temporarily Transfigured clothing morphed into her regular outfit, "Wotcher, Ginny, that was super fun! I'll have to do that again some time." She sagged against one of the other walls as the hammer fell from her nerveless fingers, "But maybe first I'll do some strength training, this thing is heavy."
Harry chuckled, "Dudley loves Batman, we should have taken pictures."
Sirius and Remus exchanged smirks, "Harry, we're wizards and there's a Pensieve in my father's old office. We can pull out the memory and watch it any time we like."
Ginny laughed, "Hermione'll go spare that we've finally gotten rid of the old harridan, I think she wanted to be here to see her comeuppance."
Ron shrugged, "She can view it with Charlie and Remus's kids. I'm guessing they'll want to see also."
Remus nodded, "Yes, most likely." He smiled at Mina as she de-transformed from Sailor V, also leaning on a wall, "You alright there, Mina-mine?"
Mina gave him a tiny nod and a tired smile, "Yeah, I'm good, I just overpowered that attack; wanted to make good and sure that wall would be blasted to smithereens. I'll be fine with some food and a rest."
Molly smiled at the young superheroine, "Alright, then, why don't you go upstairs and take a nap, we'll call you for dinner, or save you some if you oversleep."
Mina nodded at Molly and yawned, "Thanks, Molly, I think I will." She slowly made her way up all the flights of stairs to her room, took her shoes off, and was asleep mere moments after her head hit the pillow.
Molly turned to the rest after Mina had vanished, "Alright, troops, let's replace that wall! Fred, George, check Mina's measurements and see how many more of those boards we'll need, then Geminio the missing amount. Ginny, Ron, open all the buckets and give them a stir. William, Geminio extra paint. Arthur, Remus, Sirius, stand by to move it all into place. Fleur, you and I will go last and make sure it's all permanent. Tonks, dear, why don't you and Harry take that hammer and put it away somewhere? Meet us back in the ballroom when you've found a spot for it, there's more cleaning to be done." The three youngest giggled as everyone fell in to follow Molly's orders.
Tonks and Harry wandered out into the back garden, finding a small shed filled with various tools, "I think this is a good enough spot, right, Harry?"
Harry nodded, "Sure, this'll work." The witch leaned the hammer up against the inside wall of the shed and closed the door, turning to go back inside. Harry looked around, "It's so peaceful and quiet out here, you wouldn't think this house was in the heart of a busy London suburb."
Tonks shrugged, "Something to do with the wards, I think, but you'd have to ask Cousin Sirius to be sure. C'mon, Molly said back to the ballroom."
Harry scowled good-naturedly, "Ugh, I almost miss Privet Drive. At least there cleaning the whole house could be done in a day."
Tonks chuckled at the expression on the young wizard's face, "Aaaah, you know you like this place, Harrikins. Just you watch, it'll be great once we get all the critters out."
Harry nodded, "Yeah, you're right." He grinned up at the witch, "Besides, the best part of all is that Uncle Vernon can't find me!"
Tonks ruffled his already messy curls, "That's the spirit, kiddo, and maybe we'll even be able to hold a Yule Ball of our own this year, for the first time since Cousin Reggie died. Merlin knows that crazy bat would have refused to socialize after that."
Harry shrugged, "I dunno if I wanna go to another dance, I had a horrible time at my last and only one." He blushed, "Partially because I kinda have two left feet, partially because I had to go with a girl."
Tonks stopped on the stairs and looked him up and down slowly, "You don't like girls?"
Harry shook his head, "They're cool as friends, but to date? Not really." He drew a deep breath and held her eye, "You may as well know, if the rest haven't already told you: I've had a crush on your cousin Draco since the first day we met." He smiled mirthlessly, "Even though he's a right git, I just can't help it." He looked around and saw that they were alone, "I'm gonna tell you something I don't think anyone else knows: I actually have taken his hand, once. It was in the middle of one of our games, and it was just a brief touch while we were fighting to catch the Snitch, but, er..." His voice trailed off and he pulled the collar of his shirt aside, revealing a small bird with bright blue feathers sitting over his heart, "This was black before that game; I dunno what it means, but it must be important."
Tonks drew in breath between her teeth, her hair turning white with shock, "That's... Harry, that's a Soulmark. You're born with a black one, and it changes colors once you've touched skin with your Soulmate. Are you sure the rest of your team hasn't seen this?"
Harry shook his head somberly, releasing his shirt, "No, because the Twins would have been teasing me incessantly, even more than Ron does. I think maybe Neville knows, but he's never said anything. He's got a black mark across his shoulders; also some sort of bird, possibly? I've never looked too closely at it."
Tonks raised an eyebrow, her hair turning back to bubblegum pink, "Well, we can't lose sleep puzzling over your friend's Mark, he'll meet his Mate when Mother Magic decides and not before. As for you," she winked at him, "I'll keep your secret, Harry, if you keep mine."
Harry blinked, "You've got a Mark, too? And you know who it's connected to?"
Tonks's hair blushed in stripes, "Er, yeah. It's, um..." She leaned forward and whispered in his ear, "It's Remus, I just found out last night. Remember when he showed Mina's brother his Patronus? That's me."
Harry blinked again, then chuckled, "I'll keep it quiet for now, but you gotta tell him, you know."
Tonks nodded, "Yeah, I know, but lemme just wrap my head around the idea for a bit, first. I won't reject him, Mother Magic would make me go insane for refusing her gift, but I need to think on it for a while."
Harry blanched, "Insane??!" he hissed, nearly slipping into Parseltongue, "Does that mean I'm gonna go insane if Draco and I don't get together?" He started hyperventilating.
Tonks pulled him into the nearest room and sat him on the couch, holding his shoulders, "Easy, Harry, breathe! If he doesn't want to accept you, you will be fine. Mother Magic will remove your Marks and send you a Second Mate instead. Draco, on the other hand, will become a permanent member of the Janus Thickey Ward at St. Mungo's. That's just how Soulmates work."
Harry looked up at her tearfully, "You sure? You promise I'll be ok?" He sounded very young.
Tonks nodded, "I promise, Mum told me. She said that she knew the Lestrange wasn't her Soulmate because when they shook hands at their Betrothal Party both their Marks stayed black. And then when she met Dad years later at Hogwarts, both of their Marks burst into rainbows when they touched. I have no idea if Aunt Narcissa is Soulmates with Uncle Lucius, or if they just accepted the political match that was arranged by both sets of parents."
Harry sniffled, "Your Uncle Lucius tried to kill me two years ago, I dunno if I want him as a father-in-law. And he was there when Cedric died, watching everything that happened in the graveyard. But accepting Draco means accepting him, right?"
Tonks shook her head, "Not necessarily, a lot can happen between now and whenever you get Bonded. Who knows? Maybe he'll turn over a new leaf. Maybe he'll go to Azkaban. Maybe he'll do us all a favor and die." She smiled as Harry perked up a bit, "Attaboy, just give it time, you're not getting married in the morning. Now, I think Molly, Fleur, and the rest are waiting for us. C'mon, let's go wash your face and join them." She stood and then easily pulled him off the couch with one hand, "Merlin, you're light! Good for a Seeker." She led him to the nearest bathroom and leaned against the wall.
Harry set his glasses on the counter, turned on the faucet, and splashed water on his face, then used his sleeve to wipe it off, "Did you play for Hufflepuff?" He put his glasses back on and looked at her.
Tonks shook her head, "Nah, too clumsy, I barely passed basic flying lessons. Goes back to the Metamorphmagus thing, I'm not comfortable enough in my own skin to do anything too coordinated." She laughed, "Puberty was absolute hell; I couldn't control the morphing, so every hour or so something would change on me. Fourth Year I couldn't even get into the Girl's Dorms, the entire damn school year, because my body turned into a boy's and not even Madam Pomphrey could help me change back." She blushed as they arrived at the ballroom doors, "Charlie still takes the mickey out me for that, the prick."
Harry laughed just as Bill opened the doors, "I was wondering when you two would get here, Mum's been worried. She thought the house had eaten you." He looked at Tonks, "What was it Charlie still makes fun of you for?"
Tonks's hair flashed through all the colors of the rainbow and her nose turned snub, "Er, my Fourth Year, your Sixth, I had to sleep in the Boy's Dorms because the damn staircase wouldn't let me down into the Girl's."
Bill burst out laughing as they followed him into the ballroom, "I remember that! Wasn't that the year you told the whole school to call you Jared instead of Dora?"
Tonks nodded, her face turning red, "Yeah, that was it. I didn't mind being a boy, Merlin knows it's easier to use a toilet, but I'd rather be one on my own terms rather than puberty forcing it on me."
Harry grinned, "Will I get to meet Jared someday?"
Tonks shrugged, reverting to pale skin and bubblegum pink hair, "Probably, but not today, I'm not in the mood for a Y chromosome." She walked over to Molly, "What last thing are we tackling before I need to get home, Molly?"
Molly pointed her wand at the orchestra pit in despair, "That. William, we may have a Red Cap infestation. Harry, Ginny, Ron, I don't want you getting near them, Red Caps are tricky and violent, so run along to your rooms and do your summer homework. How they got in the house I have no idea."
Sirius said glumly, "My egg-donor was insane, and she passed it to Kreacher, I'll bet they sniffed it out or something."
Bill blinked, "A colony? But they're solitary creatures!"
Arthur nodded, "I think we're going to need outside help for this one, I count at least ten burrows, possibly as many as eighteen."
Bill nodded, "I'll ask my boss if we can get someone in to take a look, if you can get the Headmaster to relinquish the name of the house to them."
Molly nodded and sighed, "I'll do that, then. Merlin knows what else creeps inside this house." She looked at Fred and George, "Well, cleaning time's over for the day, go work on your essays if you haven't completed them already." The twins raced for the door as she called after them, "And no Wheezes experiments!"
Remus exchanged looks with Bill and Sirius, "Well, if we're not doing any more fixing up of the house, we three may as well get on that research project." He nodded to each of the others, "Lady Fleur, Molly, Arthur, see you at supper." The three wizards booked it out of the room before Molly could utter another word.
Bill winced, "Our dates keep getting cancelled, I think I owe Fleur something like five outings now."
Sirius raised his eyebrows as the three of them entered the library and went to the Harpy Eagle's Nest, "The Blacks have standing tickets to the wizarding shows over at the Globe, I believe there's a play on tomorrow night. You may use our box to take her, if you think she's interested.
Bill's eyes widened, "That's very generous of you, Sirius, thank you. Now," he turned to Remus expectantly, "What's this research project you mentioned?"
Remus looked at the four tomes bound in human skin with disgust, "We're researching Horcruxes and other foul magics. Unfortunately, according to Miss Fornax, the book we most direly need is missing."
Sirius scowled, "I'll bet Orion loaned it to his good friend Tom and never thought to ask for it back. Anyway, here's the one I wanted you to check my translations on, Rem." He pulled the Istoría off the dusty shelf and handed it to Remus with a grimace, "I have no idea whose skin this is bound with, but it's most likely from one of my family's Muggle hunts." He looked at Bill, "Think we can get them re-bound? I don't like the idea of trophies in the house, makes people think more ill of the family than they already do."
Bill nodded, "I'm sure Gringotts can come up with something, I'll add it to my letter to Lady Twyla." He grinned suddenly, looking extremely like the Twins, "As she's the Fairy Queen, we may even be able to relocate them without killing any."
Sirius nodded back, smiling, "Well, that's a relief. One less thing to worry about." He turned to look at Remus, "Did I translate that right? My Welsh is pretty rusty."
Remus blinked, "Er, what? Oh, the translation. No, you wrote 'burn' instead of 'bind,' changed the meaning of the whole thing. The line should read, 'And thus the Childe upon whome Family Magicke castes ye this DOOM shalt be bound in perpetuity, even unto his descendants, until the Lorde Blacke so willest otherwise.' Sounds more like a Prophecy than a description of a ritual removing magic from an infant." He gave a resigned sigh, "So many prophecies, coming together at the same time." He looked at the shelf of human skin books, "Which one is the Kitab, I want to check something?"
Sirius studied the three remaining books on the shelf, then handed the one with the darkest cover to Remus, "It's this one, I think. What did you want to look up?"
Remus opened the book and laid it next to the Istoría on the table, "I'm curious to see if those who were 'removed' from the tree like your cousin Andromeda and great-uncle Marius will still show up in here. And if they do, we just might see the full name of the Childe this ritual was last used on."
Sirius grinned, "I could bring them back into the family!"
Remus nodded distractedly as he ran a finger along the page, squinting at the tiny print, "Here is Andromeda, and her marriage to Edward, and their daughter Nymphadora Celeste." He paused, "Celeste, that's a pretty name. I wonder why she doesn't use that instead of Nymphadora, if she hates her first name so much." He shrugged and continued looking, "Here's your Uncle Alphard, deceased with no children. Here's your Great-Uncle Marius Black..." His voice trailed off and he gestured for Bill and Sirius to come closer, "This is unusual, but it gives us hope for the Magicus Deletus victim. Marius Black has been lined through twice and a name with a title has been written underneath."
Sirius looked over Remus's shoulder, "Carol Whitethorn, Doctor of Psychology. Hmmm, interesting. And, er, what's psycho-whatsit?"
Remus chuckled, "Psychology is the study of mental health, they appear to be a Muggle healer who specializes in Mindhealing, like Mother Potter. Mina and Hermione have both mentioned her, Mother Potter will most definitely look forward to being introduced." He scanned the page again, "What did you say the name of the Twin was who was kept in the family?"
Sirius blinked, "He was called Cygnus Orion Black, first of his name." He looked excited, "You've found him?"
Remus nodded and pointed to a certain line, "Here they are, Cygnus Orion Black and Martin Luther, twin sons of Draco Phineas Black and Iphigenia Goyle. Martin Luther's birth name was," he squinted at the old parchment, "ah, it was Phoebus Nigellus Black." He looked further, "It says here Cygnus died of a core overload when he attained his godkin inheritance at sixteen. Oh dear, Draco and Iphigenia must have partially bound his core when they removed the magic from Cygnus and put it into Orion."
Bill frowned, "Core bindings are tricky things, if done wrong they can kill the child when they display accidental magic. I'm not surprised that cousin of Harry's is a little strange."
Sirius barked harshly, "Considering Draco and Iphigenia had four sons and three daughters already, they probably decided his death was no great loss to the family. Idiots, all children are a Gift from Mother Magic."
Bill nodded, "You won't get any arguments from me. Oldest of seven, remember? And Mum had five siblings, while Dad has three brothers."
Remus blinked, then nodded, "I remember Fabian and Gideon, your brothers could give them a run for their money as pranking twins. Your Weasley uncles were even more uptight that your brother Percy, though. Maximus and Cicero, they were both Prefects when we started at Hogwarts."
Bill smiled, "Dad once said that his brothers took after Granny Ella, but she died right before Percy was born so I don't remember much about her."
Sirius squinted, "Wait, you said Harry's cousin is loopy? How so?"
Remus looked up from the ancient book, "What? Oh, yes, Dudley and his mother were both under inimical magic for a very long time. I highly doubt Petunia would ever have stayed with Dursley voluntarily after she found out his true nature, and now that it's been revealed to others she's jumped at the chance for a divorce. Mother Potter will know what to do to coax both of their magics out of the shells they've been hidden in." He frowned at the books, deep in thought, "Sirius, may I make a copy of these books to show Mother Potter?"
Sirius nodded, "Go ahead, I'm pretty sure Papa Monty didn't have any of them." He pulled the last two books off the shelf with a shudder, "Creeps me out every time I have to touch one of these things. My family has always had a fascination with death magic, but the last couple of generations they've really gone 'round the twist."
Remus tapped the tip of his wand against the front cover of each book, then whispered, "Geminio" with each tap. An inert copy of each book, without spells or hexes affixed to them, appeared on the table, "There, that should do it. You can put the originals back, now, Pads, thank you for allowing me to see them." He looked around curiously, "Jisky, can you come here, please?"
Sirius placed the four tomes bound with human skin back on the shelf as they waited. Jisky appeared in the room after a few moments, "Jisky is being summoned by Master Moony?"
Remus nodded at the staid little elf, "Yes, could you take these books to Mother Potter? She's going to need to look at them."
Sirius cut in, "They're copies, not the originals. My family being the paranoid bastards that they were, enchanted them so that anyone who tried to remove them from the house, even with permission, died. Makes me wonder how someone flat-out gave the Vivlío ton Nekrón away."
Jisky pulled on one of their ears nervously, "We elves-ies knowing that book be bad, Master Paddy." They picked up each of the four copies gingerly and added, "These ones be bad also, but originals be worser." They looked at Bill, "Ask Cousins to fix?" They cut their eyes to the side, almost glaring at the shelf where the ones bound in real human skin sat, "They be hurting, they do. Restless dead, it not be good." Jisky vanished with a crack, without waiting for a response.
The three wizards blinked at one another in the wake of the house elf's Disapparition, "Is he always this... strange, you two?"
Remus shrugged, "In a sense. And I wouldn't suggest calling them a he to their face unless you want to lose something important, Bill, house elves can be rather vociferous when defending their pronouns."
Bill nodded, gulping, "I'll be sure to remember that, thank you." He glanced towards the door, then added, "Are you sure it was a good idea to mention your sons to Mum and Dad before they've had a chance to take Lady-Healer Stonebreaker's potions?"
Remus nodded slowly, "It's a gamble, sure, but most of life is. We still won't say anything to them about Jamie, of course, not until we can figure out how to wake the man up, but I'm honestly fine with sharing knowledge of my children." He smiled sadly, "And no one thinks any less of me for being a war widow, even if they are a bit fuzzy on exactly who my spouse was."
Sirius wrapped his arms around one of his oldest friends as the man attempted to stifle tears, "Easy, Moony, let them out. I know it's been hard for you to be back in England, especially this house where Reg and I grew up. Merlin knows I should be insane after all I suffered here and in Azkaban."
Bill edged towards the door, "I'll just... leave you two alone for a bit. Have to talk to Fleur about that Globe outing anyway." He vanished in search of his girlfriend as Remus and Sirius sank down on the floor, sobbing for all their hearts were worth. The brothers by bond and magic spent a couple of hours truly reconnecting for the first time since 1981, knowing that there was a hole in their hearts that would only be filled once Jamie was awake and with them again.