Lily’s standing in front of the big oak doors leading into her grandfather Lucius' office. She’s nervous, tripping on her feet just like he would hate. Young women should not be tripping on their feet. She knows she has to do this, she just doesn't know if she can. She stands there for another minute, taking a deep breath before knocking.
“Enter.” Lily gulps before opening the door.
“I’m sorry to disturb you grandfather.”
He looks up at her, smiles before standing to greet her.
“Nonsense my lovely, you could never disturb me. Though this is a surprise, shouldn’t you be at school preparing for your N.E.W.T’s?”
Lily looks a bit unsure, pulling at her too big college jumper.
“Well… yes, I should be. I’ve been at a contract meeting with the Wimbourne Wasps, they want me as the spare beater next year, and…”
“And you want me to look over the contract. Of course I’ll help you. I’ll call for some tea shall I? Hand over the papers and I’ll take a look.” He smiles and sits down behind his desk featuring for Lily to sit down. Lily sighs, sitting down handing him the papers. He looks at her again.
“You went to a contract meeting wearing that? What would your grandfather Tom say?” She looks down at herself.
“He wouldn’t approve.” Lily knows she has to tell him the real reason she’s come.
“Grandfather… I…” He looks up at her, studying her closer.
“I, there’s something I have to tell you. I just don’t know how.” Lucius stiffens slightly, taking in his granddaughter’s nerves, the way she looks a bit paler than usual. Especially considering how much time she usually spends outside practicing.
“Lily what’s wrong?”
“I think Imgihthaveaneatingdissorder…” The last words out of Lily’s mouth are said so fast Lucius can barely understand them.
“Come again?”
“I think… or rather know I have an… eating disorder…” Lily looks down at her hands in her lap, not daring to look at the man she’s come to love and admire, who’s been through hell in the eyes. She knows her problems could never compare to what he’s been through. To what all the adults in her life have been through. She just knows she can’t carry this alone anymore, knows that her body has started to fail her, that if she’s to sign for the Wasps there will be a health check. That she right now won’t pass, she’s checked it… Lily can hear his chair moving, then the man that she has never sit down on his knees, because of his bad leg, is sitting down in front of her. Taking her small hands in his.
“Lily, thank you for your honesty. Will you please look at me?” Lily lifts her eyes trying to fight the tears gathering in her eyes.
“For how long has this been going on?” Lily looks down at her hands again, before answering him.
“I… I think it started when mum left.”
“You were only ten at the time.” He squeezes her hands.
“I know, everything was just chaotic. I just needed some control and the food was the only thing I felt I could control. Back then it wasn’t about what I weighed or anything. It was just that I felt like I could, I don’t know. At least have control on what got into my body, and that it was healthy.” Lily takes a breath. Lucius just stays quiet, even though he can feel his leg stiffening.
“It got a bit better after dad found Draco. I felt that he noticed or suspected that I had a bit of a control issue with food. So I tried to let it go, and for a while it worked. And when you and grandmother were introduced everything felt a bit normal again. But as fifth year came around and the media started to take more notice and comment on how I looked, what I wore. It started acting up again and the O.W.L’s took it to a new level… and… and… “ Lily can’t go on, the tears are overwhelming her and the panic she’s been fearing takes her.
“Lily, breath. You’re okay, you're safe. Do you want me to go find Tom?”
“No! No… please I don’t want them to know.”
Lucius holds Lily’s hand tighter, before he stands trying hard not to make a sound before pulling Lily into a tight hug. Feeling how her body had turned frail, for the first time in years seeing the small 12 year old, he saw that first night. The girl that was afraid to be left behind. He could have cursed Ginny Weasley for giving this girl all these fears. For giving his beautiful, well not really his, but still his girl these insecurities. How were they going to fix this?
“Come on darling. I don’t think you should be going back to Hogwarts tonight.”
“But, but…”
“No but’s, you need some rest. You were very brave for telling me all this. Come on.” Lucius holds her firm within his arms and leads her towards her bedroom at the manor.
“I’m sorry… I never meant for any of this.”
“I know my lovely. It’s not your fault none of this is.”
They get into her bedroom, and Lucius immediately gets the fire going. Before sitting Lily down at the edge of the bed.
“You should not apologize for any of this. Now I only have one question, why did you tell me this? You usually go to Tom for these sorts of things.” Lily looks up at him, drying some of the tears away.
“I… I considered going to him. I just, I don’t know… he’s been so occupied lately. With everything, and I didn’t want him to worry with all of this. It’s just me being stupid…” Lucius strokes a finger on her cheek.
“Darling, your grandfather Tom will always have time for you. He loves you more than anything. Now you know I have to tell your fathers, no don’t protest. They have to know, so that we can get you the help you need. I suggest you get some rest and I will tell your fathers and get the information to Hogwarts. Everything is going to be fine. You’re a strong girl and you will beat this as well. Now get changed.” He stands about to leave, then turns.
“Will you be okay here on your own or do you want me to wait here until you’ve changed and fallen asleep.” Lily shifts, sniffling slightly.
“I… if you don’t mind staying.”
“Of course, I’ll stay. I’ll just sit here waiting whilst you change, a shower might help a bit as well.”
Lucius sits down in the chair by the fire, whilst Lily moves into the bathroom. As soon as she’s gone and Lucius can hear the shower going he stands and throws a pinch of floo powder in the fire sticking his head into it. Calling Harry and Draco telling them in short lines what has happened asking them to contact the others and Hogwarts. As he finishes he can hear Lily getting out of the shower and soon she comes out of the bathroom in her pyjama’s going straight for the bed. Lucius stands and tucks her in. Stroking her hair carefully.
“You’ll be okay darling. Everything will be fine.”
It doesn’t take long before she’s a sleep and just as she’s gone Lucius can hear voices drawing closer. He stands and walks quickly out of the bedroom. Meeting a rather frazzled looking gang. Draco and Harry leading them, Snape and Tom right after them, Narcissa trying to calm them down.
“Calm down. She’s asleep, and I think she needs it. She’s had a long day, I think she was worried about losing the contract with the Wasps if she doesn’t pass the health check. That’s why she finally told someone. She needs the rest, we can work out a plan on what to do.” Lucius looks at them.
“Father please, we just need to see that she’s okey.” Draco is the one voicing his and Harry’s concern.
“Of course, I understand just be quiet when you go in there.”
Draco and Harry walk into the bedroom, the others standing by the door. Harry sits down besides Lily. Stroking her forehead carefully.
“My sweet, sweet girl.” Lily smiles in her sleep as she hears his voice. Draco squeezes Harry’s shoulder.
“It will be alright. We have you baby girl.”
Tom walks up to Lucius whispering.
“Thank you for handling this. And being there for her.”
“Always.”