Chapter 3
REGULUS
FOURTH YEAR
Regulus could barely read the words his own quill had inked onto his parchment, his eyesight clouded by smoke. “Could you two cut it out?” Regulus groaned, waving away the smoke in front of his face in exasperation. Regulus, Evan, Barty, and Pandora were sitting in the empty quidditch stadium. Barty and Evan were passing a cigarette back and forth, much to Regulus’s dismay.
“I don’t mind it,” Pandora muttered thoughtfully. She was sprawled out a few benches down from the boys, making a paper swan out of the paper she was supposed to be writing her History of Magic essay on. “It looks like fog. Mysterious.”
Regulus rolled his eyes. “Fog would be easier to see through.” Evan and Barty did not stop smoking, nor did they play into Regulus’s grumblings. Evan’s short white dreads lay in Barty’s lap on the bench right below Regulus, and a few above Pandora. Regulus could not help but groan inwardly about Evan and Barty’s aesthetic; Barty’s leather bomber jacket, along with his cigarette, make him look tougher than he was.
“Soften up, Reg,” Barty grinned, reaching behind him to shove Regulus’s knee.
“No.” Regulus shifted further down the bench to avoid the smoke, and continued to write his essay. Seemingly discontent with his momentary peace, Pandora charmed her paper swan to fly over to Regulus and bat him the face.
Regulus liked his friends. He really did. But sometimes he just couldn’t stand them.
Regulus had first become friends with Barty and Evan in first year, to appease his mother, who had urged him - or rather, forced him - into growing strong relationships with sons of wealthy pureblood families. He resented the two of them at first, and what their friendship meant about Regulus’s submissive nature when it came to Walburga. As he grew closer with his fellow Slytherins, Regulus learned that Barty and Evan shared similar relationships with their families, without Regulus even having to share about his own past. Eventually, Regulus grew grateful to have people who could understand him and his position. Unlike Sirius, who perhaps understood Regulus’s childhood better than anyone, Barty and Evan were still stuck with their families. They, like Regulus, had not had the audacity to escape.
But Regulus didn’t like to think about Sirius. Or his escape.
Pandora Malfoy, meanwhile, had showed up with Evan, Barty, and Regulus one day, and never really left. Regulus wasn’t completely sure on how she had ended up with them, but he was glad she did.
Regulus was jerked back to the present when the the wing of Pandora’s paper swan brushed him in the nose again.
“Will you get this thing away from me,” he grumbled, shoving the origami out of his face.
“I know you admire it,” Pandora responded thoughtfully, a faraway look in her eyes. Regulus only rolled his.
Despite Pandora’s insistence that Regulus could not possibly feel anything other than adoration for her swan, she let it fly back to her and land softly in her palm.
The Slytherins faded into a soft silence, safe in each other’s presence. Regulus scribbled on his parchment between referencing his books, and smoke calmly drifted from Barty’s parted lips. Evan’s dark eyes had drifted shut, and Pandora was making her swan into a rose.
Regulus was at peace.
Until the sound of fluttering robes and brooms flying against the wind met his ears.
“Fuck,” Barty grumbled.
“I thought Thomson said the pitch was free?” Evan sat up from Barty’s lap. Regulus ignored them all. Because the quidditch team that had just flown onto the pitch was Gryffindor.
James Potter led the group, not turning away from the team behind him as he waved them forwards. He wasn’t even the captain. The wind blew his dark hair into his glasses, and a grin split across his coffee brown skin. Regulus’s breath hitched in his throat, cataloging the blistered knuckles underneath chaser gloves and the spark in James Potter’s eyes. Oh. That spark.
“Reggie!” Regulus shook his head furiously as Pandora’s call pulled him out of his thoughts. Her, Evan, and Barty were already standing up, their belongings in their arms. “Did you hear us? We’re gonna go sit outside the greenhouses instead.”
“Oh - okay. Yeah, sorry. Just thinking about our upcoming match against Gryffindor.” Barty smirked.
“Our next match is against Ravenclaw, you dumb fuck.”
“Oh,” Regulus breathed out. “Yeah.” He blinked his eyes a few times before realizing he had to say something constructive. “I mean, the match after that against Gryffindor. Just worried because they’re - uh - looking really good out there.” Pandora’s eyes sparkled and Evan bumped his hip against Barty’s.
“The team’s looking good? Or a certain player?”
“Shush, Evan!” Pandora cried, even as a smile split across her face.
“The team,” Regulus snarled, before grabbing his papers and books and hoisting himself up. His friends didn’t know who he thought was pretty, or handsome. They definitely weren’t thinking handsome.
“Or a certain… female 5th year?” Barty smiled. Regulus couldn’t stop himself from letting out a sigh of relief. They didn’t know who he was looking at. Regulus just rolled his eyes and shoved past his friends, not needing to turn around to know they were following him out of the stands.
Regulus glanced at the sky one more time before leaving the stadium, and he could have sworn he caught a certain 5th year’s dancing eyes land on him. A male one.
Regulus heard the sound of a groan before he even turned the corner around the greenhouse. He stopped short behind Barty to find Remus Lupin with his back against the glass wall, Lily Evans’ head in his lap. Regulus gave Remus a small smile, and Remus forced a somewhat friendly expression back. Regulus didn’t dislike Remus, and admired his commitment to schoolwork, but he got the feeling Remus wasn’t such a big fan of him. Regulus likely had Sirius to thank for that.
Despite Barty’s annoyance at the occupancy of his second favorite spot on the grounds, Pandora had already sat herself down and started chatting with Lily. Regulus was sure she had some connection with anyone decent. He wasn’t sure how.
“Can we-” Barty turned to go, grabbing Evan’s wrist, but Pandora stopped them by patting the grass next to her.
“Sit, Crouch.” Barty rolled his eyes, but Evan tugged him down with him. Regulus, Barty, and Evan really weren’t anything more than acquaintances with any Gryffindors, but they pretty much did whatever Pandora said. She was hard to say no to.
Barty and Evan leaned against a planter behind Pandora, and Regulus sat a few steps between Pandora and the boys. Pandora had already begun to braid pieces of grass into Lily’s hair - Regulus wondered why in the shit this was the kind of thing girls did - then felt bad that the thought had crossed his mind. He respected Pandora and her oddities.
Barty and Evan had already lit a new cigarette, and Pandora was chatting with Remus and Lily. Regulus was content to sit back on the heels of his palms and just listen, but he couldn’t help but groan when Barty decided to cut into the conversation.
“So. What’s this?” he said, a smirk splitting across his face. Uh oh.
“What’s what?” Remus retorted, his eyes narrowing. Barty gestured between Remus and the girl in his lap, and Lily burst out laughing.
“Are you - you’re suggesting - oh.” Lily had to sit up to contain her laughter, the back of one hand against her lips and the other on her abdomen.
“I’m gay,” Remus said, with no restraint. Regulus felt his heart jump, and his nails began to dig into the grass beneath them. Barty went silent, and Evan’s lips froze as smoke drifted between them. The awkward silence was broken by Pandora laughing.
“What’s funny?” Evan muttered.
“You little - oh, you hypocritical fuckers.” Evan and Barty immediately sat up straighter, Evan choking on smoke and Barty spluttering. Remus and Lily looked confused.
Barty and Evan were… friends with benefits. Well, at least that’s what Regulus would call it. They had yet to profess legitimate feelings for each other, but Regulus saw something there. The way Barty gazed fondly at Evan, and the unnecessary physical touch between them Evan never paused to facilitate. And yet, it was ingrained into their minds by their traditional pureblood families that a man being with a man was not an option. Somehow, Barty and Evan did not seem to realize that sleeping with each other made them anything other than heterosexual.
Regulus himself could not let anyone touch him for long enough to lose his virginity, man or woman. He occasionally made out with girls at parties to retain some sort of reputation, and buried his feelings of admiration for male beauty. Well, the beauty of one man in particular. But Regulus felt his feelings for a certain James Potter were the same way one might feel about a beautiful piece of art. Regulus wasn’t attracted to James, but he recognized his physical appeal. That was all.
Regulus glanced up to find Remus and Lily still looking back and forth between the Slytherins in confusion, but of course, leave it up to Pandora to break the silence.
“Oh, a billywig!” Pandora leapt up to investigate the flitting creature, letting Lily's head fall back onto Remus.
“So… where are the rest of you?” Evan asked awkwardly, his lips twisting up and making him look like he’d just eaten a lemon. The poor boy was clearly uncomfortable now that the link between the Gryffindors and the Slytherins - Pandora - had left them to fend for themselves.
“The rest of us?” Remus asked in a flat tone, but Lily clearly understood the empty question.
“Oh, he-” she muttered, bumping Remus with her elbow. “Well, Sirius and James are at quidditch… I think they dragged Pete along. Marlene and Dorcas are somewhere together, wouldn’t you be surprised, and Mary’s with some 6th year… oh, Felixe. You must have heard of him, the transfer from Durmstrang.” Barty nodded in vague recognition, but Evan was now intrigued.
“What the fuck? There are transfers at Hogwarts?”
“Um… yeah,” Remus said, as if this was a ridiculous question. “I think the kid moved to Scotland, and you know how strict Durmstrang is about the hometowns of their students.”
“III did not know that,” Evan drawled, taking a drag on his cigarette. “Thank you for the lesson.” He tipped his head towards Remus with a little smile on his face, and Remus pressed a hand to his lips, suppressing a small laugh. Barty looked agitated, and pressed the back of his hand against Evan’s thigh. The five of them didn’t speak for another few moments, before Pandora returned in dismay.
“It wouldn’t sit on my shoulder,” she muttered, slumping down besides Regulus.
“Oh,” he muttered, not really knowing how to comfort someone who had been unsuccessful in domesticating a bug. Were billywigs bugs? Regulus honestly wasn’t sure. He internally reprimanded himself for this lack of knowledge, but was too prideful to ask Pandora. He made a mental note to check out a book on billywigs later, even though he knew it would not contain knowledge important to his future; but any weakness was still a weakness, even a concerningly loose grasp on billywigs.
Regulus looked up to find Remus looking at him. Remus did not look away, even when Regulus’s eyes met his. Regulus quickly looked back down, picking at the skin around his bitten down fingernails. Remus was honestly a mystery to Regulus sometimes.
The silence was again broken by Dorcas and Marlene running up to the group, holding hands. “I knew I’d find you here,” Dorcas said with a smile. She was looking at Barty, who rolled his eyes. “Muhammad sent a letter and he wants you to floo him, Slughorn said we could do it in his office.” Muhammad was Dorcas’s ten-year-old brother, too young to attend Hogwarts. Dorcas had grown up in a small village a little ways off from the Crouch home, and on one of Barty’s several rebellious escapades he had met Muhammad. Regulus was quite sure that Muhammad had looked up to Barty ever since.
Barty groaned, dragging Evan up with him. “Come on, Reg, I know you wanted to talk to Slughorn anyway about Oxyphine potion.” He turned back to Dorcas before letting out a rare smile. “Thanks. I’m excited to see him.” Dorcas grinned softly.
As Marlene, Dorcas, Barty, Evan, and Regulus left the Gryffindors and Dora behind, Regulus turned back one last time. Remus was still watching him, a peculiar expression on his face. Regulus turned around and kept walking.